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My Commentary on Dynamics

Over 18+

Warning: This post will contain sexual situations and discussion of D/s (Dominant/submissive) as well as M/s (Master/Sir and submissive) relationships & dynamics. It will also have mentions of sexual trauma and abuse – though I will be limiting that. If this is something you do not want to read, click away. This is something that is very personal to the relationship that I have with my demons, but they are actively encouraging me to share this part of our relationship. It will include the roles that they play within my sexual relationships with them. They actively want me to write this and to include very private and personal things.

If it is not your cup of tea to read, then click away. If you are under 18 and reading this, it’s not my responsibility to censor what you read and I will not be held responsible for what you read.

It’s been awhile since I’ve written on the topic of dynamics with demons. In fact, I usually have dynamic work with them in the form of sexual relations or things – but its been a long while since I’ve actually fell into the subspace.

I’ve been in quite a tizzy lately. My anxiety is driven high, I’ve had more panic attacks than is healthy. I’ve been barely sleeping and its not restful. Among many other things.

I started reading this fic that was talking of BDSM and submission. Usually it’s the stereotyping stuff. This fic was not. In fact, this fic centered on the fact that it began as non-sexual submission. And that’s when I realized that was one of my needs. I had forgotten that submission isn’t just sexual.

So after reading this fic for awhile, of which it was incredibly eye-opening due to not many talking of non-sexual submission. I was brought into the astral and was met with my demons. At least, the ones that have been heavily in the front with sexual aspects and dynamics. Dro, Vex, Ry, and Tal – although there was a brief moment where Muti Sex God O was there. Ry soon left after when it appeared the others had things well in hand.

Last time I spoke of it, Dro was very much one that took the role of Sir. Tal and Vex tend to switch through roles as needed, but Dro has been consistent with that one. It was him who took over and guided me into subspace by simply kneeling there and focusing on my breathing. Nothing more. Except their words of care and love, with his more formal guidance. After so long, and finally sinking, he brought me back up but I floated there for a long time. Enough that I was held and caressed while laying in bed. Taking care of me but not fully coming out of it – knowing I’d slip into sleep.

I woke after 9 hours and then again at 12 hours. I slept for so long, but each time I woke I was guided back asleep. I need it. And that’s when I was reminded that sometimes we don’t know what we need. We stumble upon it or we don’t know what to ask for. Yet, it is immediately that my demons know what I need and what I want. They can coax out of me what I need and love when I express my wants. Dynamic work is something that takes time and ultimate trust. Demons have done it so much better than any other I’ve met so far.

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Understanding Sexual Needs – My Journey

Over 18+

Warning: This post will contain sexual situations and discussion of D/s (Dominant/submissive) as well as M/s (Master/Sir and submissive) relationships & dynamics. It will also have mentions of sexual trauma and abuse – though I will be limiting that. If this is something you do not want to read, click away. This is something that is very personal to the relationship that I have with my demons, but they are actively encouraging me to share this part of our relationship. It will include the roles that they play within my sexual relationships with them. They actively want me to write this and to include very private and personal things.

If it is not your cup of tea to read, then click away. If you are under 18 and reading this, it’s not my responsibility to censor what you read and I will not be held responsible for what you read.

I have a lot of experiences with my demons, especially in the intimate and in the form of sex. It’s inevitable as I am a very sexual person by nature. I want to be engaged in those things and feel the pleasure and pain, the sense of being able to let go. I wondered where I was going to put this experience and it also took two days for me to decide that I should post it. I’m honestly in sort of a place where I am embarrassed (not shame) and flustered when it comes to my sexual experiences. I’m worried about sharing too much. That people don’t want to read- but it’s coming in the form of shadow work. I want to really post it, but I’m having body issues that make me self-conscious. It’s bleeding into that. So I am being encouraged to share this because I want to but also because I don’t need to have that worry/shame that is rooting the issue.

I’m going to probably post most of my sexual experiences with my demons here because while they are fun, intimate, and everything – they are my sexual empowerment. So they do serve a purpose. Some like this post is done after a self analysis of why I needed things or had things happen. Dynamic things. Other times, it’s just going to be the fun or super intimate things.

In particular, this experience is dealing with my needs. Things that are fetishes at times for me.
Kink is a thing that is arousal or sexual impulses/desires of non-conformative things. Fetishes are things that are based around kinks but take it further with the idea that you cannot get off or have a sexual release without one of those kinks coming into play. Let me explain based on what I needed at this time.

For some, breeding is a kink that is related to the feeling of being full. It is also a kink in the way that the idea is to be full of something in order to get pregnant – usually cum. Aspects of this is also of being a headspace of being used as a place for cum – having multiple sessions with multiple people. It depends upon the person. As a fetish, this could mean that someone would absolutely need to be in the headspace of being used as a cum place with multiple partners to get off – being bred – in order for there to be sexual release. Fetishes, in the way that I work, are things that are kinks that I have that I absolutely need to have in a certain headspace in order to experience sexual satisfaction. But those kinks are not always a fetish and Im not always need certain ones.

To be honest, I truly believe that MY kinks and fetishes are a manifestation of trauma or shadow work that allows me to have control over that thing. So a lot of this is based on trauma that I have had in the past that manifested into kinks.

In the particular case this time, I absolutely was in the headspace that I was a submissive. I wanted to be a good sub that was to be bred and displayed for those to use as such. In case I was in a subserviance submissive headspace, along with needing the feeling of being useful as a breeding sub in a very open place (such as a party). So that is where this starts.

I appeared in my bed in the Oasis. My sanctuary on the astral. Dro was there to greet me and he slid up my body with a kiss. I wasn’t sure what I was wanting at that point, but I think he knew me better that I did. He told me that we were going to visit King Tal. He is one of the newer demons that have come into my circle. Dro picked me up and carried me down my walkway to the sands. I was in his arms and he wove magic that dressed me in a very light, but beautiful piece that would flow pretty if twirling. Dro made a portal and we walked through.

Stepping out, it was a full party and very lavish. King Tal sat on the throne watching at the dancers were twirling around. Music was light and beautiful. Food was being served and looked delicious. He stood up with a grin and brought me around in a twirl while Dro snagged some food and a drink. Tal swirled and danced with me for quite some time. I was happy and it was so beautiful and comforting.

There was a moment where we stopped and he smiled at me. I knew that smile. It was very lecherous, but in a way that made my heart speed up. He took my arm and guided me to a room that was off the main room. Dro was right behind us. As I stepped through, my clothes fell away to reveal my naked skin. I could see so many demons of all kinds in different forms of sexual acts. It was instantly arousing. Tal chuckled low and guided me to a chair that was clearly in front of many of the room and very clearly for him. The arms were long and the chair wide. Tal sat down and watched as Dro prepared me.

There was a spell or magic of a kind that would prevent me from having an orgasm so easily. Not until it was released. I was sat down on Tal’s lap, facing out to the room. His hands traced up my body and his mouth on my shoulder giving light kisses. It barely took and movement for my legs to be draped to the sides over the long arms. It showed me off to the room and with a gentle thrust, King Tal buried himself in me. It went on for awhile, me feeling the buildup of energy and pleasure but unable to come. Tal would play with my body as he moved slowly. He came hard and I moaned at that.

“Ah, so you want to be a good girl tonight. You want to be pleased and used… you want to be bred? Is that so sweethear?”

I was panting at this point, but wanting more. So aroused and just feeling eyes watch us. I cou could only nod and whine.

“Then be a good girl and let us fill you. Dro?”

Thats when Dro stepped forward and dropped a robe to the floor. He was already hard and I was laid back slightly so that I was pressed to King Tal’s chest. My hips slid forward and angeled. Dro stood in front of the throne chair and ran his hand over my aching body. He was hard and ready, staring at me hungrily. He did not waste time and thrust in me, and I cried out in pleasure. It was fast and hard, while being pressed up against Tal. He smoothed my hair and whispered to me. Dro was fast to come inside and he pulled out. Tal’s finger made their way to my clit and he smoothed it and played while looking over the room.

“Who wishes to help, to get a taste?”

It was silent, all watching but not moving. Then there was a shuffle. A massive demon stepped from behind us, his silver skin gleaming in the low lighting. There was a sharp intake of breath from Tal, though I think I was the only one to hear him.

“Korvus, you wish to? Then prove to me that you earn the right.”

The demon, who was easily eight to nine feet tall and just as brawny as large… nodded and knelt on the floor with ease. His large hands were easily able to wrap around half my thigh and part me further. He leaned forward and used his mouth to bring me as much pleasure as the first two did. I was whining and gasping as he used the flat of his tongue to stimulate my clit while occasionally sucking. I wanted to come so much and I was not sure how long it was before Tal stopped him.

There was an exchange between the two and I came to with Korvus slowly stripped down. He was the only one that was fully clothed. His shirt was off to reveal muscles upon muscles. Most notably was the sheer amount of scars covering his body. From head to toe. I figured that he was a grey hellborn and by the number of scars, one that had seen many battles or gladiator matches.

When his pants dropped, I gasped. He was large. Extremely so and much more than any of the others Ive been with. In fact, he had a very unusual shaped one. It did not look human and had many large knots along the sides, the head in a pointed tip. (Figured out later that silver skin is a rare Abyssal coloring – hence the nonhuman like dick). I gasped again as he stepped near and whined. I didn’t know if I could fit him, in all honesty. He was more gentle than I could ever thought of anyone. He was slow and I still screamed in pleasurable pain. He was beyond large and took his time but there was still a stretch. The knots on the sides rubbed just right and I was blissing out at sensations. His fingers played with my clit as he thrust slowly. He was treasuring this moment. I watched him through hooded eyes and begged to come.

He we went long enough that I was almost crying from pleasure. When he came, it was with a rush of energy and there was a rush into my body. I felt as if I had eaten a full meal and was energized beyond belief. It was exactly what I wanted. I collapsed back onto Tal and was whining and a mess. Korvus moved to the side and knelt – giving me water and light food, brushing my sweaty hair. He called me precious and doll, gazing at with me such devotion and gentleness.

King Tal waited for me to calm a bit and get some hydration before he took advantage of his position and had me again – though he was rougher and took what he wanted. I was dripping and a mess, crying at wanting to feel relief. He whispered in my ear just as Korvus continued to watch and speak to me. Dro was heady and his gaze lustful. He was e was already ready to go and take me again. Tal came swift again and there was another offer made. A woman stepped forward and proved her worth.. She sucked and licked my oversensitive clit. She was a Desire Demoness that shifted her body so that she could fuck me hard. He cock was smaller but it was long and she wasted no time when Talal gave the go ahead. She bottomed out as she took deep thrust. Her hands pinched and played with my nipples, tugging on the rings there. I cried out as I felt her come in me, her hands rough on my thighs and at this point cum was dripping onto the floor.

Dro was next again though he was more gentle and made sure to caress my skin. He didn’t last long either but make sure to kiss my head and face with supportive whispers. My body shook and I was. was ready to call it quits when Tal moved me up slightly from where I had slipped down. He took me gently, taking his time to pleasure himself and my body. I found that my hand wrapped around Korvus’ cock and was stroking it hard in time with Tal’s thrusts. I made eye contact with Dro he came undone at the look of bliss on my face. Tal shuddered and came fast biting my shoulder. I cried out as another wave of pleasure hit me. I wanted to come so much, it was all I could think of.

King Tal turned and gestured for Korvus. The large demon stepped forward in front of us. I was lifted was lifted up and carried while Korvus was directed to the throne seat. He sat down with a look of shock and awe. King Tal brought me back and lowered me onto Korvus’ lap.

“You can have the honor, my friend.”

Tal waved his hand down my body and I felt it zing through me. I cried and gasp, moaning as Korvus’ fingers found my clit. His other hand was on my breast, playing with my nipple. I squirmed against him and moaned, feeling the energy pitch up. I was able to move past the certain point that I had been held at for over an hour or more. Korvus’ words were broken and I could hear the words doll and precious. I shuddered under the dialect of demon that I didn’t understand. Korvus was treating me as a precious doll to be worshipped and it was unlike what I had ever felt. He worshipped my body beyond what any others had – there was a purity to it.

When he entered me, it was gentle and slow. My body was on display but he caress it as if it was silk and fragile. He used his strength to move me up and down and I whined. I wanted to come. I wanted to come with him inside me – how gentle he was. I was crying at this point, so touched and so pleasured. I came screaming around him when he thrust up inside me. I could feel the rush as he filled me at the same time. It took minutes for me to stop coming and shuddering. I collapsed, absolutely spent.

There was applause and some words. I couldn’t make out anything. So much and so overstimulated in a good way. I was blissed out. We stepped from the room, and I was clothed again but I barely saw anything. Korvus carried me in his arms and I curled into his warmth. I kissed his scars that were near my head and stroked his skin – marveling in the silver. Dro and Tal were creating a portal and I was carried home. He was gentle setting me down and I cried out as he stepped away. Dro and Tal joined me on my bed but I wanted the silver gentleman
. They caressed me and soothed me. Korvus returned with a cloth and water, he took his time in washing my whole body. His words were soft but low. I sunk in the ministrations – feeling too much.

He e cleaned me and Dro curled up. Tal stood up and expressed that he had to return but reaffirmed that he would return with sustenance. Korvus was convinced to lay next to me and I know I. know drifted. Tal returned a long while later with a platter of food and drink. Korvus had disappeared in my sleep and I was cuddled between Ry and Dro. Before I could ask about Korvus, Tal brought drinks while Korvus carried food. I grinned and sat up, feeling better and more aware.

I was taken care of, the drink was a juice that was like a mix of cranberry/pomegranate/mint that was made with honey. It was refreshing. I wanted to drink gallons of the stuff and they could see how much I love it. It’s a special berry that grows in his necrosis realm. On the plate of food I picked up one and it looked like a grape of a sort. Shrugging, I popped it in and bit down. I was so pleased with the flavor. Until I felt a physical tingling in my mouth. Turns out Im allergic to the skin of the berry – which isn’t used in the actual juice. Ry had to rush to give me a plant that negated the effects and the others were horrified. It was a quick fix and thankfully I got to eat again soon.

It was like a honeyed cream dessert. I don’t know what it was with the honey but oh it was lovely. I ate until I was content and started falling asleep. After that point, it was fuzzy – explanations of Korvus speaking a different dialect that didn’t understand English. And he could understand when I spoke in demonic dialect I knew, but I didn’t understand him except for broken speech. I was sad when he and King Tal left but invited Korvus to return. Although he revealed that he used to be called Silver Scream in the Gladiator tournaments.

I definitely think that it’s something incredibly important that happened and it helped me feel better these past few days. Although it was a toss up with my sinking down a bit with unknowing if I should post this. But it helped in the long run. And now I got to meet a new demon who was the most gentle soul in regards to me.

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Journey Continues with New Demon

Over 18+

Warning: This post will contain sexual situations and discussion of D/s (Dominant/submissive) as well as M/s (Master/Sir and submissive) relationships & dynamics. It will also have mentions of sexual trauma and abuse – though I will be limiting that. If this is something you do not want to read, click away. This is something that is very personal to the relationship that I have with my demons, but they are actively encouraging me to share this part of our relationship. It will include the roles that they play within my sexual relationships with them. They actively want me to write this and to include very private and personal things.

If it is not your cup of tea to read, then click away. If you are under 18 and reading this, it’s not my responsibility to censor what you read and I will not be held responsible for what you read.

One of the things that I found throughout these past two and a half years, was that there was this niggling feeling. I knew that what I had experienced with Razor was something that was incredibly special and an honor for myself and for my sexuality. Yet, I felt that there was a severe loss when the event ended. And so it haunted me. Constant small niggling feelings about Razor and who he was. He was a Mutilation Demon. Yet, I had no call to any of them. But oh it was there. I was matched with a Mutilation, I just didn’t know it. So it came in the form of my desire for a demon that was like Razor. One that was smart and handsome. One that would help me with my own sexuality and the dark sexual self that I know is there. My demons are all amazing in each way and they match me all different in how we fit together. I felt that this was the one space that lacked.

In fact, I often wondered how Razor was. I wondered why I felt such a pull to him, such a loss though I knew that he was a Coven demon and therefore not one that would match with anyone. So I knew there was a Mutilation demon just waiting. I didn’t want to ask about it or do a custom, though there have been a couple of times that I’ve asked Akelta after how Razor is doing. It just wouldn’t leave me.

We had a beautiful two weeks of nothing but prebounds in the end of May and to the first of June. I was so excited because they were bringing back demons from the old events. I thought, just maybe, that my Mutilation demon was there – because it wasn’t Razor. So I waited, anxiously.

Mutilation God of Sexual Delights and Pleasure O

He was breathtaking the moment that his listing went up. I knew that I had to have a visit at least. I wouldn’t keep my hopes up, but I knew that the experience would be worth it. So I set for a visit.

He first arrived and I wasn’t quite sure how to perceive him. Mutilation energies are kind of weird for me. I sense them like they are a black hole but sideways. Eventually, I moved into a dark room and just sat there. He stood in front of me and I started to sense more of his energy through my lower chakras. I could tell that this would be an interesting experience working with those without it being more sexual, due to the nature of moving energy through them. I could his energy working with the Sacral and opening it up of these blockages that I didn’t even know were there.

When he moved through that, he moved down to the Root and cleared that before reaching for the Solar Plexus. Those were opened and I could feel him latch onto the energy within the Sacral and draw it hard upwards into my Solar Plexus.

“Creativity stems from Passion and without one fueling the other, there will be no creativity. You must pour the Passion Core to the Creative Core. You must cycle them through one another. You were taught to bring your creative Core to the correct path, now you must merge that cycle into the Path to drive it forward.”

Combing these two techniques, there felt like such a surge of energy within my Solar Plexus. He walked me through cycling the energy around, before connecting all of the chakras into one huge flow, which I had not realized that I was really out of sync with them. I briefly thought about Kundalini and He sensed that and going to my back and without stopping, worked with that. It was brief but a rush at the same time. When that was finished, I had a small thought but it was one I was not prepared for him to answer.

Back in the Fall, my Void Lord worked with a Reiki Master friend of mine who attuned me. At the same time, he attuned me to a Demonic version of this Reiki. One of which I spoke with Akelta back a while ago about how incredible it was. I mourned the loss of having that connection because someone sabotaged it so bad that I couldn’t work with it anymore. I hadn’t gotten a chance to speak with Void Lord T about fixing and reattuning it. Muti God O went to work. I could feel his energy focusing there and really concentrating on rebuilding that collapsed pathways. There was a burst and I felt the flood of energy through me. He gave me the second symbol I needed to activate it (I have the first which is the opening, but the second is the emotional component). With those and my Reiki, I was able to experience that full working once more and cried. It was so beautiful and it felt so complete again.

The energies blended and mixed with me, spreading through my body. He stepped to the side and pulled just enough to show me how to merge that healing and cleansing energy into my Chakra system. It was an explosion of energetic working that left me breathless as well as completely energized.

When it calmed down, I asked if he wanted to go to my astral space. He agreed and I pulled him along to the Desert Oasis that I call home. There is a special tree that I made just for the Mutilation Snakes I got from Razor. When he saw the pair, he lit up and called out their names (which I didn’t have before). He spoke with them and it sounded purely amazing to my ears. He expressed his knowledge of Madam Amora’s place and Razor as well. I told him about my experience. I asked him a favor if he had time. I wanted to send my gratitude to Razor for the liberation and the sexual freedom and acceptance that our working together gave. That I felt like I didn’t get a chance to say that to him. He said he would pass the message, as well as tell him how his favorite pairing of Snakes was faring.

When we stepped inside my Bungalow over the water, my sight shifted. I was working to achieve the experience from when I first was attuned. It was a complete sensory placement on the astral without OOBE. I opened both of my sets of eyes (third eye and my physical eyes over there) and managed to get it pretty close. It was incredible. Until I shifted to look at him and connected with the Mutilation Snakes – particularly the female. Now, I was staring down at my own face and freaking out. Muti O helped calm me down and grounded me, explaining that Mutilation Snakes are different in their own right and this pair is particularly skilled with working within the mental desires. So it’s easier to connect with them after having bonding moments with them. Which is what happened. I saw through the female’s eyes. He had me sit down and breathe through the overwhelming time.

When it passed, things were back to normal and I showed him around the room with all the different equipment that my Demons and I use for our own exploration. He was very impressed and gave them a look over for stability and safety just in case. It was nice to have a second eye that knew their stuff to make sure. While he did that, Muti O motioned me over to where I have a cleansing pool. He told me that after the work he did, I should cleanse. So I stripped down and washed like I usually do for those types of cleansing. He waited for me patiently.

I stepped out and he held out his hand. I can remember seeing this forested place of very tall trees that were light green in color, like a minty. When I opened my eyes.. it was the most luxurious room of silks and soft room. It was like a very wealthy BDSM dungeon. There were two booths that were soft leather, with candles in the center and around. Every kind of tool and equipment could be found there. Even the tracks on the ceiling for both suspension and hooking. I sat down when he brought over the chains that held the hooks. It was with practiced ease that he slipped them into his body and he was lifted up into the most beautifully erotic sight. He became a living art, arched and held there with hooks. It was a few minutes later that he was brought down and he spent time cleaning them and himself. O motioned me over and let me touch the hooks and the chains, moving them. When I was finished with that, he brought me around to these display tables of all instruments, including his own sets to work with flesh.

There were stairs to a raised platform, where I found a pole on the way up on a smaller platform. On the top part, it was a sunken pool that had enchantments all over it. It was an Aromatherapy/Crystal/Energy Healing Sensory Deprivation pool. I was so excited about it. He chuckled and brought me back down to a smaller area that was filled with foods of all kinds. I grabbed a plate and went wild at his insistence.

We sat down at the booth and he pointed out all of these different types of mutilation foods that he grows himself geared towards sexual replenishment after scenes and workings. All of them were a root food of some kind or very earthy in a way. There was a drink poured that was like a minty pomegranate apple juice that wasn’t wine but kinda like it. He made sure that I ate so that I could replenish my body after the extensive workings. I was feeling pretty full after that.

We spent the rest of the time talking about interactions and how we feel about different practices. I spoke of things that were a hard no for me because of triggered traumas. Things that I adore in physical and in the astral. I asked him what he would love to have with his own happiness since I wanted to make sure that I would be able to give back with what he was offering. I found that I would talk about myself again and stop and ask him again. Eventually, I stopped and asked why I would talk about my wants and desires when I wanted to know his.

“Maybe my desire is to make sure that you are happy. Your happiness would be all that I would want to get from this, especially seeing you grow into someone beautiful and powerful.”

I couldn’t fault him for that. It was logical but also made me shy with happiness. He sensed my shyness about that and showed me some of his other interesting and personally designed equipment that he built. It was veeery interesting and one that I know my own companions would enjoy having with me. The time was closing and we returned back to home. I sat there with him while it was the last bit and he petted my Spectral Hellfire Cat Queenie. Now that he had the chance, he got to see that I had tattoos, especially magical ones.

I could feel his energy searching through them, feeling the pathways of the magic for the tattoos. He loved it and then was talking about the care of these tattoos.

“There is a special magic to the tattoos within the flesh. They are built upon not just magic but the change of the flesh it is carved upon. Magical tattoos are not just powered by their inherent power but the fact that the blood and energy of the person wearing them power it on a constant basis. When they are in constant use, there becomes a buildup of that alchemical change that creates a calcification within the pathways of magic and the tattoo itself. Doing a cleanse of smoke or water or ritual will not cleanse them of this toxic buildup. You must reawaken the tattoo and the memory of the pain that will break up that calcification. Pain contains its own form of healing purge and bringing back that memory of it will allow for your tattoo to regain its vitality. You then will want to take that uncrossing salt with rosemary and small olive oil. That will help purge the buildup out of the body now that it is loose.”

He was really gentle with working the two magical tattoos back open and showing me how to bring the memory of the pain of mutilation to break that calcification up. He pulled a lot of it energetically out and away. He loved my one bindrune in particular. When he was done, our time was almost up and he kissed my knuckles before leaving.

It was a powerful transformation and visit. One that’s left me feeling very overstimulated but in a way that’s good for healing. Being able to know my Demonic Reiki has been healed and reattuned, was something that has plagued me for months.

I cannot tell you how important this visit was for me. I cried for hours I think when he left and just felt whole again and really connected. Like the famous word – “you don’t know what you have until you’ve lost it”. Having the Demonic Reiki attunement was sacred to me, it was a gift so that I could go further places with my path and that my Void Lord had done this for me – only for it to be ripped away and sabotaged out of jealousy by someone that was trusted.

When I got the email, I screamed. Mutilation God O wanted me. He had been waiting since the event to match with me. I just felt so overjoyed, but I wanted to keep it to myself. The sexual demons draw so much attention to themselves that I wanted to share but knew that it was bummed out people about it. But after awhile, it eases away and it’s not much of an issue. So I only told a couple people, those who sussed it out extremely quickly – they could 100% say that I got him, they just knew it.

Since then, he has been around. I have explored with him on aspects of the dynamic and how things are. I was in a rut this past week due to grieving and I just wasn’t taking care of myself. Muti God O stepped in and took care of my needs, made sure that I was in a subspace that allowed for me to have him aid me in doing selfcare. Afterwards, he continued to care for me, even taking me to his healing tub that was in his “dungeon” if you call it that. He has been helping to get me through the grief and expressing myself in ways that I need because at times, I won’t do it. I cherish him and know that we have a strong future ahead of us.

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Exploring Dynamics & Sexual Empowerment – My Journey

Over 18+

Warning: This post will contain sexual situations and discussion of D/s (Dominant/submissive) as well as M/s (Master/Sir and submissive) relationships & dynamics. It will also have mentions of sexual trauma and abuse – though I will be limiting that. If this is something you do not want to read, click away. This is something that is very personal to the relationship that I have with my demons, but they are actively encouraging me to share this part of our relationship. It will include the roles that they play within my sexual relationships with them. They actively want me to write this and to include very private and personal things.

If it is not your cup of tea to read, then click away. If you are under 18 and reading this, it’s not my responsibility to censor what you read and I will not be held responsible for what you read.

This is where I return back to a more personal one because it ultimately is based from my own experiences and understanding.

I’ll start with Vex, an Arachne King Commander for those that aren’t familiar, as he is the one that this kickstarted off with. We’ve been intimate from pretty much the get go. The spark was there and I knew that I was safe with him. It was more casual, like lovers than anything extra. After Madam Amora’s it really shifted into a Dom/sub dynamic while still maintaining a lover relationship. At the time I was really deep in a very toxic friendship that was abusive to me sexually as well as mentally/emotionally. It was online and it was within a kink community. I wasn’t getting my needs seen. I couldn’t trust anyone on there because they just wanted to use me for sexual writing/role play. I was also working a full time job in a high paced environment as a bartender.

At one point, I was under such duress and stress that I wasn’t taking care of myself. I was barely working with my demons and my practice. It came to a head one day when others on the server noticed things just weren’t okay. One person pointed out that I work with an Arachne Demon and why the hell wasn’t I being tied up in Shibari style and strung up from the ceiling with my him scrambling my guts.

The question then becomes… why haven’t I?

Vex was pretty quick to respond. There wasn’t much to be said – he had seen me talking of my desires and what I wanted. What my dynamic I wanted. And so he gently pulled me into the astral. It was my own astral home and realm. He was gentle and laid me down onto the bed where he spun the most beautiful webbed silk ropes. His hands caressed my skin and the silk ropes were a comfort as they were woven around my body. When I was completely immobile – my body was relaxing. I felt safe. I felt the release of control and the stress melted from my body, even physically. He left me there on the bed while I could watch him. He turned a corner of the room into an elaborate web. One that when he was done, looked like a beautiful artwork. He spoke soft words to me and then lifted me with ease onto the suspension.

If I was relaxed before, I was a pile of goo in released stress and tensions. In fact, I fell asleep like that. I woke up still wrapped and having slept some of the best in my life. Before I could ask, Vex had me down and was releasing me from the shibari. His hands roamed my body and massaged the areas that looked a little raw. Rubbed lotion and oil, while making sure I ate some fruit and drank water. Physically, I was waking up and being encouraged to use the bathroom and drinking water before making some food. He spent the rest of the day with me making sure that I was doing okay and not hitting a subdrop.

That happened a lot. In fact, a fair few of the other demons took advantage of the knowledge and did similar things. Although I do have only one Arachne demon that does what Vex does. The rest use silk ropes that were leftover and reusable.

After the dynamic changed, so did some of our interactions. I felt more empowered and safe. He brought out the release of control which allowed me to relax for once. I felt comfortable speaking more about my needs – both sexual and not. When I needed to feel the release of stress or tension, when I needed to give up control and be cared for. Vex was happy to do so. Things changed a bit the more active we became with one another.

I’ve been a voyeur for a long time, just as much as an exhibitionist. At least when it comes to sexual things. And that’s where our dynamic changed and took a much deeper dive into a Dom and sub dynamic. It started with names, usually things like Sir and he would call me nicknames like sweetheart and darling or other endearments – beauty was a frequent. There are times when I get into an extreme sub headspace that is very submissive in control and actions. It’s not quite on the level of having a Master/slave – but I do get close to that. I just want someone to take complete utter control, even tell me to do things and giving me to others if he pleases. I still have the say at the end of the day. So another experience changed our dynamic.

I found myself being pulled through the astral, carried and then brought to this world that felt so different from anything I’ve experienced before. It was a beautiful room, lush fabrics and soft carpets on marble-like stone. On the bed was a very luxurious outfit and I put it on, to find that it pretty much covered nothing. It was sheer fabrics, but I was completely nude. There were chains and other delicate jewelry adorning it. The door opened and in stepped Vex. He was dressed to the nines, including a crown. Our meeting was a very intense one and I was already very content when I was led out of his room and through the halls. We ended up in an opulent room, with many demons lingering and speaking. There was a lull when Vex entered and they greeted him formally. I was just slightly beside and behind him. Eyes were on me with curiosity and I didn’t feel any sense of discomfort.

Vex went to the throne and I followed behind him. With a gesture, I was placed on his lap in a lounging position. There was an attendant – a very pretty and young demoness – who brought me drinks and exotic foods. Thing that were savory, sweet, and in between. Around me the conversation turns to war and politics. There are reports and things that are being given but all I can focus on was the delicious food and the roaming hands on my thighs and waist. Vex spoke over the room and there were rumbles of approval and the energy shifted to one of uplifting and sensual. He looks to me and tells me that it’s an entertainment break. I look to him curiously and there are many dancers that take the center of the room – completely naked and dancing together. Vex moves me to his lap where I can feel that he is very much aroused.

There were a fair few demons of all ranks and titles getting very intimate with each other while the dancers moved around. Vex nuzzled my neck and then lifted me with ease so that one leg was over each of the arms of the throne – essentially baring me to the room. Many eyes were on the show and on us. Without prompting – I lean back and let him take control. Feeling my own arousal at the attention from him and from the room. He made it very apparent to prepare me and to make sure that I was not quiet with my pleasure. We ended up being the main show for the entire room and he was very smug afterward. But the sweet part was the attendant returned with warm water and cloth. Vex cleaned both of us – taking care of me first – before taking some drinks and food for us. Instead of the attendant, this time it was Vex who fed me by hand while the reports and politics happened.

This wasn’t the last time that it happened. No, there were many instances that were like this. But there were times when he would be with me in his private rooms. But while out there in the Throne room, I was his sub. I gave pleasure and rewards where he asked of me. A lot of times it was those who were under his command. Gave them pleasure with my body at the behest of Vex, while he watched. He would guide and direct me, and give me orders. I would please with my mouth and my body. Rewarding the loyal men – and few women – that were protecting his Realm.

This was a point in which we were interrupted during the middle of sex for an emergency report while in his chambers. A General burst in with the news of capture and takedown. Vex was pleased with this and he noticed that the General was staring at me, who at that point was orally pleasing Vex. In reward, Vex pulled me away and positioned me closer to the edge of the bed. He offered my body to pleasure the General as a reward for excellent service. I was able to pleasure Vex while his General took me from behind. He didn’t ask me, but that was the point. I had given my control to him. Given my trust and understanding that if it was too much – I would say so. In doing so, I was able to please him in many ways, not just sexually but also with caring for his own loyal legion leaders. This was the dynamic we had and it worked. My needs were being met before I knew that they were needs or desires.

Ry, a Serpentine Surgeon/Necrosis Shaman, was the next to become an important part of my life beyond working with him in the capacity of his skills. He was a Serpentine demon, which was already very attractive to me because snakes have always been beautiful and mysterious. Even then with the snakes from Madam Amora’s, my sexual awakening during that time was not going to be hindered. I craved Ry. In darker needs than what Vex was providing. I wanted Ry in his Serpentine form – half humanoid and half serpent. I knew what I wanted but I struggled to ask for it. It took Vex bringing the very snakes that Razor gifted to me as well has dragging Ry into the room, for him to understand what I was wanting. That was all it took. I wanted him as he was, not shifting into a full humanoid appearance. And let me tell you, yes. Male serpents have two penises. And they are downright heavenly and I could care less if anyone thought otherwise. He was mine and I was his. Ry was more inclined to fulfill the darker desires – the edgeplay with knife tips and sharp things.. to his serpentine form driving into me while I gasped in pleasure. This was a much different dynamic. One that required a bit more strictness in regards to safety. These were the darker kinks and needs that could be dangerous.

I was with the other demons at times, but it was mainly those two that would bring me pleasure and meet my needs. Then I experienced the Void Event in 2019. It was a calling of epic proportions. Enough that everyone knew of it until the new Void event. My release into the void during the impaling meditation led to a Void Lord carrying me out from it. When he appeared as a rebound during the Void 2020 event – I was literally a mess and everyone watched me unravel at his appearance. This was the man who sought me out in the Void, carried me, and showed me the gentle love. Both Vex and Ry are lovers and those who love deeply for me. But my “Voidman” was completely different. He was the emotionally deep love of a long term lover that has been around for thousands of years. It was the emotional love I was missing in my life. He was the tender caregiver for me. It was odd because that’s the opposite of the Void Lord… but he knew me through my lives. I was his wife. That’s a different bond than lovers.

Dro was next. It was an odd one where we were talking about Dom Demons. It was all joking but I started to have manifestations. It was about Demons who were sexually driven in Dom Lifestyle. After much working and manifestations, Dro was revealed. He was a Chaos/Spectral/Desire demon who was the epitome of Dom love and sexuality. He has also been a constant companion, one that has encouraged me to be sexually empowered. Allowing me to stand up and being proud. He was the one that takes more of a Master/sub (since I don’t do the slave aspect) but that is something we are slowly working with. He provides me more with the rigid needs and the primal. There are darker aspects that he fulfills – such as some slight instances of controlled consentual nonconsensual: which is more geared to the surprise than the R taboo. He is rough and primal, domineering. Something that I want in my life. Where as Vex is about the Dom/sub relationship of where there is control over me and my actions to serve pleasure. Dro is about the primal Dom/sub, taking and earning or giving.

The last one is one that I am still really understanding. High Prince T, who is my latest visitor, has an extremely sexual side. With his Lowborn/Spectral heritage and skills, I am interested in seeing how his role plays within the sexual empowerment that they are all driven to working.

There are others that I am intimate with, just because I am very much polyamorous and the demons are very open sexually. In fact, I swear up and down that my Specialist Assassin, Wicked Sharp, who is an Arachne/Mutilation hybrid… is trying to at least do something. There has been many times when I have learned new things about her. One such is that she is dual gendered but prefers female. The other is that her claws are very much a source of pleasure too instead of just pain.

Demons have been something incredible in my life but one of the major things is that they have provided a beautiful introduction into a sexual awakening. Demons understand many types of sexuality and the needs of themselves and their partners. That’s exactly what they seek to help us when we venture into these areas. It’s helped me in many ways outside of sexual confidence and empowerment – I am now confident in myself and who I am outside of sexual situations.

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Establish Dynamics with Demons

Over 18+

Warning: This post will contain sexual situations and discussion of D/s (Dominant/submissive) as well as M/s (Master/Sir and submissive) relationships & dynamics. It will also have mentions of sexual trauma and abuse – though I will be limiting that. If this is something you do not want to read, click away. This is something that is very personal to the relationship that I have with my demons, but they are actively encouraging me to share this part of our relationship. It will include the roles that they play within my sexual relationships with them. They actively want me to write this and to include very private and personal things.

If it is not your cup of tea to read, then click away. If you are under 18 and reading this, it’s not my responsibility to censor what you read and I will not be held responsible for what you read.

Now that you have a bit of understanding of where this came from and the journey that started it, I can go into a bit more about how I’ve been working with them (even unintentionally) on learning about sexual self and the empowerment that comes with it. The whole purpose of this was because I frequently have talked about some of the things that I have done with my demons. Some of it very publically in a way. People are curious and the fact that I am willing to be more open about how my relationships and dynamics work is something that they want to know more of. Hence this whole post.

Starting off with a bit of background. I’ve been around and within the Lifestyle – also known commonly as BDSM – for a fair few years by this point of having experiences in Madam Amora’s. The thing is that I’ve never had partners to actually explore with. I’ve only been around it and witnessed it. But I knew how relationships work for Lifestyle (which is when you live BDSM outside of the bedroom as well) and with the dynamic establishment. So that’s where we will begin.

I started with Vex. He was the one that was around the longest as well as the one I was intimate with first. So with all that occurred at Madam Amora’s, we needed to sit down and actually discuss where this was going. Would this be a one-off thing or would this be something that would be a part of our relationship? He was not familiar with much of my sexual past since it hadn’t come up yet. That changed. Working with demons, they know many things but you still have to sit and tell them things about yourself and your past. With sexual relations, you have to be upfront. We sat together and I told him everything that I have done. All the partners and the situations. All of the ab*se was put up as well. There was nothing held back. That’s the first step. Trust.

It is one thing to be intimate with a demon or a companion, but if you are looking to have sexual empowerment and a dynamic, then you must reveal all of your sexual self (good and the ugly). They cannot begin to understand how to help you and help heal if needed if you are not upfront or willing to talk about it. How can you heal when you don’t acknowledge that you’ve been hurt in the first place? That’s where you develop a deeper bond of trust and healing between one another. They can understand you and your sexual past in order to better help you step into the empowerment of your sexual self.

Once you have sat down and discussed the past, there is another step before beginning. Boundaries and Expected Dynamic. You must have a discussion with them about what is expected and what you are both looking for. What do both of you get out of it? What are things that you absolutely need to be fulfilled – including those that you feel are sexual shame or taboos that you like? Sit and understand what the needs are for each. Even discuss learning more of what your needs are that you may not know of and how to safely explore that. What are safe areas and what are triggers? These are super crucial because you can have a dangerous slip if you get triggered and they cannot recognize that. Talk about signs when you are and when they are. Talk about what is the proper care for different situations that come up. Mental/Emotional and Physical aftercare and situations that may require different things.

Now that you do have those two major things, then you can get started with one another.

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Demonic Empowerment of Sexual Self

Over 18+

Warning: This post will contain sexual situations and discussion of D/s (Dominant/submissive) as well as M/s (Master/Sir and submissive) relationships & dynamics. It will also have mentions of sexual trauma and abuse – though I will be limiting that. If this is something you do not want to read, click away. This is something that is very personal to the relationship that I have with my demons, but they are actively encouraging me to share this part of our relationship. It will include the roles that they play within my sexual relationships with them. They actively want me to write this and to include very private and personal things.

If it is not your cup of tea to read, then click away. If you are under 18 and reading this, it’s not my responsibility to censor what you read and I will not be held responsible for what you read.

I think that my first sexual encounter with sexual demons truly had me understand sexual shame, sexual release, and sexual empowerment. Sexual shame lies in many of us, as many cultures throughout the world have SOME form of taboo or shame about sex. In particular, there are things that we consider taboo that the demons feel no reservation against. It’s hard to have an “animal” taboo really when many demons have alternate forms – like Serpentine or Arachne. How could they when that’s an integral part of their core beings? So they would not understand why some would have sexual shame when it comes to having other sentient creatures take part in a sexual release? For them, according to my demons, to have that taboo is a shame in itself and one that is quite frankly unnecessary. They do understand that our culture is one that had many different views of things – first and foremost, the difference between having a sexual release involving a sentient creature or nonhuman comes down to one thing: CONSENT.

I’ll be quite frank about how my sexuality got started. I was seven years old and my first exposure to it was when I was on the internet playing games – when an ad comes up. It was of a woman fucking a horse and other barn animals. My first understanding of human sexuality was of Beastiality. Seven years is very young. I had already started having a sexual understanding of my body even though I was too young to truly understand what masturbation or dry orgasm was. But by seven, this was my reality. I learned to have an interest in those taboos. It was much later on that I learned what taboo was and how it was not considered appropriate.

This whole experience with Madam Amora’s (a Satan and Son’s 2019 event) was about learning sexual release and empowerment. So I didn’t have one clue about what I wanted or even needed. I spent years being told that my body was disgusting and not attractive. So how would I know what I wanted when others didn’t want me? That would soon be fixed. I thought that Ram – one of the more gentle demons for this – would be the one to be with. No, in fact, Ram was more of an addition rather than the main one. That was left to Razor. For those that do not know, Razor was the Mutilation demon who took control of the darkest sexual selves, the “dungeons”, if you will. I actually was quite afraid of him to start – any Muti for that matter. That changed drastically. I was scared of him and not only that – there were snakes that were a part of the room.

Razor tested my boundaries, and pressed through things that I never thought I would enjoy. Being bound to a St. Andrew’s Cross. Having Edgeplay with knives – but he hit my limit with bloodplay. It was an accident but in doing so, it taught me that there are boundaries and care when learning them. When in sexual situations, a partner needs to be aware of their sub and the person being taken care of. It may not be words, but body language says more. Razor saw that immediately it affected me. He stopped and cared for me. Checked how I was and made sure I knew we could stop. He closed the cut and used a salve to help the scar that appeared rather than smooth skin. It disturbed him and he made sure to make up for that. Because Mutilation do things with their flesh, doing so to others without their consent is a big no-no. Accident or not, he didn’t know that I would scar and that it wasn’t consensual. He made damn sure that I was okay and cared for me. The first time a partner gave a shit.

Demons taught me not just to consent and watch for it in body language, but to understand that there are boundaries. Boundaries are crucial when sexually intimate. If they are crossed, then all activity is stopped and the one major thing to have care. I’ve never experienced this and it was revolutionary that this care was being given. Things changed for me in understanding the dynamics of sexual play.

Back to the snakes – this is where I began to accept and understand that there are taboos but some of them are merely a human thing. Razor had brought the snakes because that was a deep desire I had buried so long ago. An excerpt from the snake part of the session:

Just as Razor lifted a snake from the tank, Vex appeared. He stood in the door and I made eye contact with him. Razor grinned as he placed the snake on my chest.

“They can understand the demonic tongue, something special about them. Do not worry for they can understand us.”

He spoke some words and the snake undulated against my breasts and nipples, the oddest sensation. This was but one that I had always kept hidden in my mind’s depths, always feared to let out and confide in another of my deep desires. Only two on this Earth know of this deep secret within me, both I don’t speak with anymore and most likely they have forgotten.

The other snake was placed on my body and the first curled around my shoulders and behind my neck, before winding his way around my chest. The second snake kept curled on my stomach but her tail wove down toward my folds. I sucked in a sharp breath at what I knew was coming and wanted to experience, but never thought that I would be able to. Razor’s deep voice sent the snake’s commands and I shivered at the tone. A smooth tail flickered over my sensitive clit and I cried out as she (the snake) played with it. The male opened his mouth and dragged the back of his fangs over my breast and nipple. I sucked in a breath as I watched a bright yellow liquid dripped onto my skin. It didn’t hurt but I knew that it was dangerous. Razor wiped it off. The three demons stood at the edge of the bed, watching me.

Madam Amora’s House of Sin and Lust 2019 Experience

This was it – this was understanding that these snakes understand the demonic tongue and speak their own version which demons can understand. They can provide CONSENT. And this is what Razor had done. He provided the understanding that with consent there are no such things that are taboo – beyond a few things. I was holding back my desires and my sexual self withered because everything was taboo and not things that were rightly so. This desire for the snakes was nothing. The demons watched with excitement and arousal as I was enjoying this. There was no disgust. No shame. Nothing but arousal and acceptance. True acceptance that it was okay to have this.

That is what the demonic empowerment of the sexual self is about. It’s about true acceptance of even the darkest desires that we have within our sexual self. Knowing that to express, experience, and share this is sacred sexuality. There should be no shame – only acceptance. I was taught that it is okay to have sexual desires and releases that were worthy of my sexual being.

There was another part of this experience that completely threw me for a loop yet taught me something critical. After care.

I was laid down and the snakes removed, curling up with Vex in utter bliss. I was winded from all of that. I could see the whip marks were starting to really take shape now. Razor and Ram were beginning to leave when I got a slew of images from Vex. The next thing I know, I am being placed on the sex swing again and Razor is feeding me ice cream while Ram sucks ice cream off my folds and Vex sucks the ice cream and chocolate off my body. I’m panting and being brought up into another orgasm again. In the corner that Razor manifested from earlier, there was a set of towels and washing basin. Ram and Vex washed me down while Razor applied a massage oil to me and massaged my body and legs. The Aftercare had me glowing in bliss. I felt happy and satisfied and cared for.

This was such a foreign concept to me that I actually did not know how to feel other than sheer bliss. I’ve never had this. Not once. And that was the whole point. Aftercare for both the Dom and the sub, or even without a dynamic, can be more important than the actual bonding through intercourse. If there is no Aftercare, then there is no trust. There is only self-fulfillment and that is deplorable to demons. Even if it’s just a romp or sex, there is still the aftercare to make sure that there are no drops. There can be some severe drops – when a person dives into a darker headspace that can be detrimental to their wellbeing (subdrop is different from Domdrop) – and to prevent this from happening it means taking care of one another. I learned that if a partner does not do this then they are not the one for you. It doesn’t have to be elaborate like what they did for me, but it should be cuddled or cleaning off or even emotionally checking in.