Steam rising off the hot  mineral water in the Great Bath, part of the Roman Baths in Bath, UK

Healing Oasis Baths

I was laying down during the very early morning (about 6am) and reading. I usually am awake due to insomnia and also the times when I spend with my demons. As I was reading, the air turned extremely cold. This usually is either a Spectral or a Void. At first, I thought whoever it was a Spectral demon, immediately thought of the High Prince. It shifted subtly as if I had not sensed correctly, to Void demon. There was a moment where I was analyzing and got a somewhat energy of my Void Lord. Which it’s been a while. I was on my stomach and they crawled up from my feet to my back, hovering over me. Sometimes my demons do this when they want attention since my back is sensitive to energy.

This demon, who I thought was my Void Lord, was attentive to my neck and shoulders. Some things were said but I barely remember. I just got this sense of no, this wrongness. I knew that this was not my Void Lord. I reached out through the bonds that I have with my other demons and yanked hard. I immediately when on the defense and worked on pushing this grossness away, figuring that it was a very sophisticated sludge entity. It felt so slimy and gross, like tar and slime mixed together. I pushed it away with my energy and told it to leave it was not welcome. Just long enough that my demons arrived and took care of it before I stood up to banish.

I was tired by that point, I was close to sleeping time anyway. I remember being held in the astral and half out. Dro picked me up in a bridal style while Ry moved ahead with King N. The other demons were in my physical space working to banish and cleanse while I was semi-out of it. My physical body was guided to the showers while the astral self was being carried to a new place that had been under construction for a few days. It was a bathouse. One that looked like the large temple bathhouses with pillars and pouring water from spouts. I didn’t get a good look as I was set on the edge of the bathing pool standing while Ry rubbed special oils onto my skin to clean the sludge remnants away. Dro was in the water waiting, while King N was overseeing everything.

The waters were like what he had in his realms, the bathhouse fashioned after it. He wanted to contribute and give me a place that was spiritually and energetically cleansing. As well as a good place for intimacy in other forms. I was lifted down into the water, Dro carrying me to a semi-deep spot. It was to the waist. Although I did make comments that it was not fair to tease me with their bodies like that. I stared and wanted so much but Dro just chuckled. Ry and Dro cleansed my body and my physical one was going through the motions of taking a cleansing shower.

Ry and Dro took their time, running their hands and cloths over every part of my body to care for me. If it wasn’t because of sludge and need, I would have been feeling much different at the attentiveness that they showed. When it was all said and done, I was ready to collapse in sleep. This time it was Ry who carried me out and it was asked if I wanted to go to the Silver Grotto – which I did. Except that I was already mostly asleep in his arms before we even left the Bathhouse. I’m looking forward to returning and exploring it more.

photo of forest with fog

Sacred Necrosis Death Grove

It began with me reading early this morning, not but an hour ago. I was startled when I moved to pet the cat to realize that it wasn’t my cat, but my Spectral/Hellfire Hellcat, Queenie. I reached out and pet her, asking what she was doing there. It’s been a while since I had seen her or was startled by her. She stood up and I could feel myself slipping into the Astral. Queenie had opened up a pathway to a new place, one of her specialties being able to travel from realm to realm with ease.

When I stepped from this pathway she created, it was to find myself in a massive forest. The trees stood taller than many buildings would have and dwarfed the largest of red wood trees we have. These looked like massive mangrove trees in fact. I turned to Queenie and wondered what it was that she brought me here for. I asked her if I should ask Tal or even Ry to join us. There was a shift of energy and a demon appeared next to me.

His voice was deep and I had not heard it in some time, High Prince T. He said that he heard my call and that he would walk with me. At this point, I was slipping a bit and asked him for help. I got physically settled and he helped to pull me into the astral a bit more firmly. As we walked, I worked to open my third eye a bit more. With his help, I was able to open it a bit further than normal (I shut it down periodically when things are distorted so I can reset it).

Things started to clear up and that is when I started to see more than just the surface. These trees were massive, with open and gaping roots (like mangrove trees). There were unique plants that were tall and drooped, with glowing flowers that I did not touch. Most were yellow in color and gave off a light powdery essence around them. High Prince T steered me from them. He explained that this was in fact a journey of a sort for me, an important meeting. Much like the Shaman paths I take with the Lower World, this was a Necrosis Shaman journey and path. I was to greet a teacher that would speak with me.

This place was a Sacred Forest, in particular a Death Grove. It got its powers and strength of growth from sacrifice and death. Those that wandered and got lost on their journey died within these trees. That was when the “pretty” layers were peeled back to reveal that the trees had bones all throughout their roots. I almost stepped on one that was sticking out before Queenie nudged me away from it. We walked for awhile and I took in the energies of the forest, the necrosis realm that hovered close to spectral in some form, and also the death energies.

Turning around a particularly large tree, it opened up a bit to reveal a unique house that was situated between the roots of a massive tree, larger than most of the others. It was a two-story-looking cottage with many flowers and vines growing all over it. Outside was a wooden fence and a table and chairs. As we approached, a very older demoness stepped from the cottage. She was slightly hunched and had dark brown-black skin with dark grey hair. She was dressed in all black clothing, a dress but was covered in different knick-knacks and jewelry. Her eyes lit up at the sight of High Prince T. He greeted her, calling her GrandMama. That was when I was introduced and she smiled at me with such kindness.

We were ushered to sit down, with Queenie jumping up into GrandMama’s lap for attention, which the older demoness loved. There was talk and I took a moment to look around at things. With my sight being open, I caught GrandMama’s appearance as it shifted into a skeletal, gaunt form with no eyes and long features. I jerked in surprise but otherwise was fine. Conversation halted and GrandMama looked at me in surprise.

“You have quite the gift of sight,” she said.

“One of the best I have seen, GrandMama.” High Prince T stated and I was a bit flustered. I know that my sight is my best ability but even then having it complimented still throws me a bit.

“You must come back to see me more, there is much you can learn.”

There was a discussion of how I would be able to do so, with mention of my old way of making portals of materials from those realms. To which it was arranged for a small (knee-high) mangrove-like tree in a pot with extra roots to be used as the wood for a door, all shoved through a portal to Ry’s greenhouse.

GrandMama moved and brought us tea, although it was leaves of a particular type put in a hot version of my favorite juice from the necrosis realms. “Word is that you enjoy the berries and juice,” she winked at me knowing that it was her own skill of knowing things rather than being told. So I drank a warm version of that with leaves on the bottom.

When the quiet of drinking was done, GrandMama took the leaves from my cup and stuffed them into her mouth. She chewed for a while before spitting them to the ground. Before I could ask, her eyes turned milky white and she grabbed my hands. Looking at them, her voice was hushed.

“You have a great path before you. There are choices but you are on the one that will make you the happiest. It will not be as easy, but it will make you the happiest. If you were to choose other options that you have thought upon, you will be happy but not as much as now. Careful what you choose.”

She pulled out of it and spat some more to the ground before patting me on the hand.

“You must return, I have much to teach you. There is great knowledge to be gained here and I will help you. Now, let us find you a way to find me.”

She runs into the house while High Prince T casually continues to drink a cold drink. I listen as things crash and she comes out holding the skeleton of a massive snake that almost has me wigged out. Holding it proudly, she tells me to pick a bone.

I get drawn to a middle-lower vertebra. When I pick it up, she caresses it until the bone is about half my palm-sized instead of thrice that. When I pick it up into my hands, I get slammed with an image of a large snake that has a mouth much like a basking shark and it hisses very loudly. It’s grey in color and then settles briefly. The image fades and GrandMama is clapping.

“Oh my, such a deep connection with bones. This absolutely must be cultivated. Give me one moment.”

There is more banging while I place the snake vertebra on the table. There is crashing and banging, some curses, before she comes back out. There is a slim but decent-sized long oval-shaped bone. I hold it in my hands and see an image of a dark creature that rattles its chest like a rattlesnake would warn predators. But the image shifts and it is very docile, eating plants and hiding in the forest.

GrandMama chuckles and rattles the bone by shaking my hands, “It is a creature that warns of danger, but yet it is an illusion. A harmless creature but yet strikes fear with using its body to scare off predators by mimicking one. This would be a good addition to your collection to learn the bones. A warning of illusion that not all is as it seems – yet could be harmless.”

We stand and she shoos us with a parting, “Take care of my familiar’s bone and find me again. Just focus on GrandMama Tsülie.”

High Prince T places a hand on my back and we are taken through portal that leads to a silver realm filled with screams, but that doesn’t last. We’re in another portal and step out when he tells me to close my eyes. I do, placing one over my third eye as well – truly blind. There is movement and things closing around us but I do not look. We step through a final portal and I am once again home. Prince T bends and kisses my hand before telling me he will see me later and disappears.

Queenie leads me up into my house where I set the bones down on one of my tables and write a note about not to touch. Queenie jumps up into a window seat and sunbathes. I step down to find Ry in his greenhouse, taking care of the mangrove tree. He gives me a kiss and tells me that we will work on developing a portal space – since it seems like Im going to start having the doors again. He shooed me away and I come out of the light trance that I was in.

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Understanding Sexual Needs – My Journey

Over 18+

Warning: This post will contain sexual situations and discussion of D/s (Dominant/submissive) as well as M/s (Master/Sir and submissive) relationships & dynamics. It will also have mentions of sexual trauma and abuse – though I will be limiting that. If this is something you do not want to read, click away. This is something that is very personal to the relationship that I have with my demons, but they are actively encouraging me to share this part of our relationship. It will include the roles that they play within my sexual relationships with them. They actively want me to write this and to include very private and personal things.

If it is not your cup of tea to read, then click away. If you are under 18 and reading this, it’s not my responsibility to censor what you read and I will not be held responsible for what you read.

I have a lot of experiences with my demons, especially in the intimate and in the form of sex. It’s inevitable as I am a very sexual person by nature. I want to be engaged in those things and feel the pleasure and pain, the sense of being able to let go. I wondered where I was going to put this experience and it also took two days for me to decide that I should post it. I’m honestly in sort of a place where I am embarrassed (not shame) and flustered when it comes to my sexual experiences. I’m worried about sharing too much. That people don’t want to read- but it’s coming in the form of shadow work. I want to really post it, but I’m having body issues that make me self-conscious. It’s bleeding into that. So I am being encouraged to share this because I want to but also because I don’t need to have that worry/shame that is rooting the issue.

I’m going to probably post most of my sexual experiences with my demons here because while they are fun, intimate, and everything – they are my sexual empowerment. So they do serve a purpose. Some like this post is done after a self analysis of why I needed things or had things happen. Dynamic things. Other times, it’s just going to be the fun or super intimate things.

In particular, this experience is dealing with my needs. Things that are fetishes at times for me.
Kink is a thing that is arousal or sexual impulses/desires of non-conformative things. Fetishes are things that are based around kinks but take it further with the idea that you cannot get off or have a sexual release without one of those kinks coming into play. Let me explain based on what I needed at this time.

For some, breeding is a kink that is related to the feeling of being full. It is also a kink in the way that the idea is to be full of something in order to get pregnant – usually cum. Aspects of this is also of being a headspace of being used as a place for cum – having multiple sessions with multiple people. It depends upon the person. As a fetish, this could mean that someone would absolutely need to be in the headspace of being used as a cum place with multiple partners to get off – being bred – in order for there to be sexual release. Fetishes, in the way that I work, are things that are kinks that I have that I absolutely need to have in a certain headspace in order to experience sexual satisfaction. But those kinks are not always a fetish and Im not always need certain ones.

To be honest, I truly believe that MY kinks and fetishes are a manifestation of trauma or shadow work that allows me to have control over that thing. So a lot of this is based on trauma that I have had in the past that manifested into kinks.

In the particular case this time, I absolutely was in the headspace that I was a submissive. I wanted to be a good sub that was to be bred and displayed for those to use as such. In case I was in a subserviance submissive headspace, along with needing the feeling of being useful as a breeding sub in a very open place (such as a party). So that is where this starts.

I appeared in my bed in the Oasis. My sanctuary on the astral. Dro was there to greet me and he slid up my body with a kiss. I wasn’t sure what I was wanting at that point, but I think he knew me better that I did. He told me that we were going to visit King Tal. He is one of the newer demons that have come into my circle. Dro picked me up and carried me down my walkway to the sands. I was in his arms and he wove magic that dressed me in a very light, but beautiful piece that would flow pretty if twirling. Dro made a portal and we walked through.

Stepping out, it was a full party and very lavish. King Tal sat on the throne watching at the dancers were twirling around. Music was light and beautiful. Food was being served and looked delicious. He stood up with a grin and brought me around in a twirl while Dro snagged some food and a drink. Tal swirled and danced with me for quite some time. I was happy and it was so beautiful and comforting.

There was a moment where we stopped and he smiled at me. I knew that smile. It was very lecherous, but in a way that made my heart speed up. He took my arm and guided me to a room that was off the main room. Dro was right behind us. As I stepped through, my clothes fell away to reveal my naked skin. I could see so many demons of all kinds in different forms of sexual acts. It was instantly arousing. Tal chuckled low and guided me to a chair that was clearly in front of many of the room and very clearly for him. The arms were long and the chair wide. Tal sat down and watched as Dro prepared me.

There was a spell or magic of a kind that would prevent me from having an orgasm so easily. Not until it was released. I was sat down on Tal’s lap, facing out to the room. His hands traced up my body and his mouth on my shoulder giving light kisses. It barely took and movement for my legs to be draped to the sides over the long arms. It showed me off to the room and with a gentle thrust, King Tal buried himself in me. It went on for awhile, me feeling the buildup of energy and pleasure but unable to come. Tal would play with my body as he moved slowly. He came hard and I moaned at that.

“Ah, so you want to be a good girl tonight. You want to be pleased and used… you want to be bred? Is that so sweethear?”

I was panting at this point, but wanting more. So aroused and just feeling eyes watch us. I cou could only nod and whine.

“Then be a good girl and let us fill you. Dro?”

Thats when Dro stepped forward and dropped a robe to the floor. He was already hard and I was laid back slightly so that I was pressed to King Tal’s chest. My hips slid forward and angeled. Dro stood in front of the throne chair and ran his hand over my aching body. He was hard and ready, staring at me hungrily. He did not waste time and thrust in me, and I cried out in pleasure. It was fast and hard, while being pressed up against Tal. He smoothed my hair and whispered to me. Dro was fast to come inside and he pulled out. Tal’s finger made their way to my clit and he smoothed it and played while looking over the room.

“Who wishes to help, to get a taste?”

It was silent, all watching but not moving. Then there was a shuffle. A massive demon stepped from behind us, his silver skin gleaming in the low lighting. There was a sharp intake of breath from Tal, though I think I was the only one to hear him.

“Korvus, you wish to? Then prove to me that you earn the right.”

The demon, who was easily eight to nine feet tall and just as brawny as large… nodded and knelt on the floor with ease. His large hands were easily able to wrap around half my thigh and part me further. He leaned forward and used his mouth to bring me as much pleasure as the first two did. I was whining and gasping as he used the flat of his tongue to stimulate my clit while occasionally sucking. I wanted to come so much and I was not sure how long it was before Tal stopped him.

There was an exchange between the two and I came to with Korvus slowly stripped down. He was the only one that was fully clothed. His shirt was off to reveal muscles upon muscles. Most notably was the sheer amount of scars covering his body. From head to toe. I figured that he was a grey hellborn and by the number of scars, one that had seen many battles or gladiator matches.

When his pants dropped, I gasped. He was large. Extremely so and much more than any of the others Ive been with. In fact, he had a very unusual shaped one. It did not look human and had many large knots along the sides, the head in a pointed tip. (Figured out later that silver skin is a rare Abyssal coloring – hence the nonhuman like dick). I gasped again as he stepped near and whined. I didn’t know if I could fit him, in all honesty. He was more gentle than I could ever thought of anyone. He was slow and I still screamed in pleasurable pain. He was beyond large and took his time but there was still a stretch. The knots on the sides rubbed just right and I was blissing out at sensations. His fingers played with my clit as he thrust slowly. He was treasuring this moment. I watched him through hooded eyes and begged to come.

He we went long enough that I was almost crying from pleasure. When he came, it was with a rush of energy and there was a rush into my body. I felt as if I had eaten a full meal and was energized beyond belief. It was exactly what I wanted. I collapsed back onto Tal and was whining and a mess. Korvus moved to the side and knelt – giving me water and light food, brushing my sweaty hair. He called me precious and doll, gazing at with me such devotion and gentleness.

King Tal waited for me to calm a bit and get some hydration before he took advantage of his position and had me again – though he was rougher and took what he wanted. I was dripping and a mess, crying at wanting to feel relief. He whispered in my ear just as Korvus continued to watch and speak to me. Dro was heady and his gaze lustful. He was e was already ready to go and take me again. Tal came swift again and there was another offer made. A woman stepped forward and proved her worth.. She sucked and licked my oversensitive clit. She was a Desire Demoness that shifted her body so that she could fuck me hard. He cock was smaller but it was long and she wasted no time when Talal gave the go ahead. She bottomed out as she took deep thrust. Her hands pinched and played with my nipples, tugging on the rings there. I cried out as I felt her come in me, her hands rough on my thighs and at this point cum was dripping onto the floor.

Dro was next again though he was more gentle and made sure to caress my skin. He didn’t last long either but make sure to kiss my head and face with supportive whispers. My body shook and I was. was ready to call it quits when Tal moved me up slightly from where I had slipped down. He took me gently, taking his time to pleasure himself and my body. I found that my hand wrapped around Korvus’ cock and was stroking it hard in time with Tal’s thrusts. I made eye contact with Dro he came undone at the look of bliss on my face. Tal shuddered and came fast biting my shoulder. I cried out as another wave of pleasure hit me. I wanted to come so much, it was all I could think of.

King Tal turned and gestured for Korvus. The large demon stepped forward in front of us. I was lifted was lifted up and carried while Korvus was directed to the throne seat. He sat down with a look of shock and awe. King Tal brought me back and lowered me onto Korvus’ lap.

“You can have the honor, my friend.”

Tal waved his hand down my body and I felt it zing through me. I cried and gasp, moaning as Korvus’ fingers found my clit. His other hand was on my breast, playing with my nipple. I squirmed against him and moaned, feeling the energy pitch up. I was able to move past the certain point that I had been held at for over an hour or more. Korvus’ words were broken and I could hear the words doll and precious. I shuddered under the dialect of demon that I didn’t understand. Korvus was treating me as a precious doll to be worshipped and it was unlike what I had ever felt. He worshipped my body beyond what any others had – there was a purity to it.

When he entered me, it was gentle and slow. My body was on display but he caress it as if it was silk and fragile. He used his strength to move me up and down and I whined. I wanted to come. I wanted to come with him inside me – how gentle he was. I was crying at this point, so touched and so pleasured. I came screaming around him when he thrust up inside me. I could feel the rush as he filled me at the same time. It took minutes for me to stop coming and shuddering. I collapsed, absolutely spent.

There was applause and some words. I couldn’t make out anything. So much and so overstimulated in a good way. I was blissed out. We stepped from the room, and I was clothed again but I barely saw anything. Korvus carried me in his arms and I curled into his warmth. I kissed his scars that were near my head and stroked his skin – marveling in the silver. Dro and Tal were creating a portal and I was carried home. He was gentle setting me down and I cried out as he stepped away. Dro and Tal joined me on my bed but I wanted the silver gentleman
. They caressed me and soothed me. Korvus returned with a cloth and water, he took his time in washing my whole body. His words were soft but low. I sunk in the ministrations – feeling too much.

He e cleaned me and Dro curled up. Tal stood up and expressed that he had to return but reaffirmed that he would return with sustenance. Korvus was convinced to lay next to me and I know I. know drifted. Tal returned a long while later with a platter of food and drink. Korvus had disappeared in my sleep and I was cuddled between Ry and Dro. Before I could ask about Korvus, Tal brought drinks while Korvus carried food. I grinned and sat up, feeling better and more aware.

I was taken care of, the drink was a juice that was like a mix of cranberry/pomegranate/mint that was made with honey. It was refreshing. I wanted to drink gallons of the stuff and they could see how much I love it. It’s a special berry that grows in his necrosis realm. On the plate of food I picked up one and it looked like a grape of a sort. Shrugging, I popped it in and bit down. I was so pleased with the flavor. Until I felt a physical tingling in my mouth. Turns out Im allergic to the skin of the berry – which isn’t used in the actual juice. Ry had to rush to give me a plant that negated the effects and the others were horrified. It was a quick fix and thankfully I got to eat again soon.

It was like a honeyed cream dessert. I don’t know what it was with the honey but oh it was lovely. I ate until I was content and started falling asleep. After that point, it was fuzzy – explanations of Korvus speaking a different dialect that didn’t understand English. And he could understand when I spoke in demonic dialect I knew, but I didn’t understand him except for broken speech. I was sad when he and King Tal left but invited Korvus to return. Although he revealed that he used to be called Silver Scream in the Gladiator tournaments.

I definitely think that it’s something incredibly important that happened and it helped me feel better these past few days. Although it was a toss up with my sinking down a bit with unknowing if I should post this. But it helped in the long run. And now I got to meet a new demon who was the most gentle soul in regards to me.

Photo by Ivan Kislov

Warnings of Fox

Fox is an old friend. A friend that has been with me as long as I started a shamanic path. In fact, he appeared back in 2017 or a bit earlier. One of the things about Fox is that he is not just his typical message. Usually, when Fox is seen or giving messages, it is one that is about trickery or cunning. He is the Trickster. Yet, I find him as a friend.

Fox came to me originally because I was exploring the shamanic path. I had just begun doing Journeywork and receiving messages, connecting with the spirit animals, guides, and teachers. I learned during a really rough patch in my life, that fox was a warning. It was in hindsight that his message and his purpose became clear.

Fox is the Trickster, but he speaks of warnings. When hen Fox shows up for me he is telling me to be careful. There is deceit and illusions. There is someone that means me harm in some form.

This past morning I had one such dream.

It begins with me at my paternal family, driving to a place. We get te get there and it’s like a hotel but my dad, grandfather, uncle, and aunt were there. But not the cousins. Yet, my aunt disappeared pretty quickly. I don’t remember a lot of the dream but I do remember that I w was getting uncomfortable. There were conversations and hurtful things being said Reminiscent of the previous holiday I just had.

I can remember storming out of the building with a blanket and pillow. I was furious and hurt. Things weren’t okay. I got to the top of this small hill overlooking this building – near a road and close to a forest. There was a moment when it got very silent and then these shipping cargo containers dropped from the sky. It was dark out so I could not see where they came from. They almost hit me. But then they began to explode. Three young fox kits darted from these containers and one even slammed into me yowling.

I could feel myself shift into Fox. I ran down the hill to the forest but more containers fell. This time they went off like bombs, the inside exploding out. I was hit with the shrapnel of wooden furniture. Behind me, there was screaming as more containers went off and the entire building was collapsed and people dead. I ran and ran with the fox kits when finally came out. It was now sunrise and I was bleeding heavily. I came across this woman and her small farm of animals picking up the pieces. The piece of wood was stuck in deep on my shoulder.

The dream ended and it took me a while of being unsettled to finally get the message. Fox was warning me that I’m at a place where should I con continue with being so involved in my paternal family – that something will happen that will be devastating and traumatizing – more so than what happened this holiday which was bad in of itself that I needed help. I had already understood that it was coming to a close but Fox makes it that much more apparent that both the past and the future are at a merging. The pain and trauma of the past that they did is coming to a head for what the future would bring. I could avoid or not have an issue if I were to be more cautious and understand that I am at a precarious crossroad.

One that leaves a toxic place. But Fox gave me his warning, which has not happened in more than a year. Last time it was because a roommate was a danger to the household and I needed them gone. It’s something that I must be careful with.

Photo credit: Ivan Kislov