Warning: This post will contain sexual situations and discussion of D/s (Dominant/submissive) as well as M/s (Master/Sir and submissive) relationships & dynamics. It will also have mentions of sexual trauma and abuse – though I will be limiting that. If this is something you do not want to read, click away. This is something that is very personal to the relationship that I have with my demons, but they are actively encouraging me to share this part of our relationship. It will include the roles that they play within my sexual relationships with them. They actively want me to write this and to include very private and personal things.
If it is not your cup of tea to read, then click away. If you are under 18 and reading this, it’s not my responsibility to censor what you read and I will not be held responsible for what you read.
Now that you have a bit of understanding of where this came from and the journey that started it, I can go into a bit more about how I’ve been working with them (even unintentionally) on learning about sexual self and the empowerment that comes with it. The whole purpose of this was because I frequently have talked about some of the things that I have done with my demons. Some of it very publically in a way. People are curious and the fact that I am willing to be more open about how my relationships and dynamics work is something that they want to know more of. Hence this whole post.
Starting off with a bit of background. I’ve been around and within the Lifestyle – also known commonly as BDSM – for a fair few years by this point of having experiences in Madam Amora’s. The thing is that I’ve never had partners to actually explore with. I’ve only been around it and witnessed it. But I knew how relationships work for Lifestyle (which is when you live BDSM outside of the bedroom as well) and with the dynamic establishment. So that’s where we will begin.
I started with Vex. He was the one that was around the longest as well as the one I was intimate with first. So with all that occurred at Madam Amora’s, we needed to sit down and actually discuss where this was going. Would this be a one-off thing or would this be something that would be a part of our relationship? He was not familiar with much of my sexual past since it hadn’t come up yet. That changed. Working with demons, they know many things but you still have to sit and tell them things about yourself and your past. With sexual relations, you have to be upfront. We sat together and I told him everything that I have done. All the partners and the situations. All of the ab*se was put up as well. There was nothing held back. That’s the first step. Trust.
It is one thing to be intimate with a demon or a companion, but if you are looking to have sexual empowerment and a dynamic, then you must reveal all of your sexual self (good and the ugly). They cannot begin to understand how to help you and help heal if needed if you are not upfront or willing to talk about it. How can you heal when you don’t acknowledge that you’ve been hurt in the first place? That’s where you develop a deeper bond of trust and healing between one another. They can understand you and your sexual past in order to better help you step into the empowerment of your sexual self.
Once you have sat down and discussed the past, there is another step before beginning. Boundaries and Expected Dynamic. You must have a discussion with them about what is expected and what you are both looking for. What do both of you get out of it? What are things that you absolutely need to be fulfilled – including those that you feel are sexual shame or taboos that you like? Sit and understand what the needs are for each. Even discuss learning more of what your needs are that you may not know of and how to safely explore that. What are safe areas and what are triggers? These are super crucial because you can have a dangerous slip if you get triggered and they cannot recognize that. Talk about signs when you are and when they are. Talk about what is the proper care for different situations that come up. Mental/Emotional and Physical aftercare and situations that may require different things.
Now that you do have those two major things, then you can get started with one another.