Warning: This post will contain sexual situations and discussion of D/s (Dominant/submissive) as well as M/s (Master/Sir and submissive) relationships & dynamics. It will also have mentions of sexual trauma and abuse – though I will be limiting that. If this is something you do not want to read, click away. This is something that is very personal to the relationship that I have with my demons, but they are actively encouraging me to share this part of our relationship. It will include the roles that they play within my sexual relationships with them. They actively want me to write this and to include very private and personal things.
If it is not your cup of tea to read, then click away. If you are under 18 and reading this, it’s not my responsibility to censor what you read and I will not be held responsible for what you read.
I think that my first sexual encounter with sexual demons truly had me understand sexual shame, sexual release, and sexual empowerment. Sexual shame lies in many of us, as many cultures throughout the world have SOME form of taboo or shame about sex. In particular, there are things that we consider taboo that the demons feel no reservation against. It’s hard to have an “animal” taboo really when many demons have alternate forms – like Serpentine or Arachne. How could they when that’s an integral part of their core beings? So they would not understand why some would have sexual shame when it comes to having other sentient creatures take part in a sexual release? For them, according to my demons, to have that taboo is a shame in itself and one that is quite frankly unnecessary. They do understand that our culture is one that had many different views of things – first and foremost, the difference between having a sexual release involving a sentient creature or nonhuman comes down to one thing: CONSENT.
I’ll be quite frank about how my sexuality got started. I was seven years old and my first exposure to it was when I was on the internet playing games – when an ad comes up. It was of a woman fucking a horse and other barn animals. My first understanding of human sexuality was of Beastiality. Seven years is very young. I had already started having a sexual understanding of my body even though I was too young to truly understand what masturbation or dry orgasm was. But by seven, this was my reality. I learned to have an interest in those taboos. It was much later on that I learned what taboo was and how it was not considered appropriate.
This whole experience with Madam Amora’s (a Satan and Son’s 2019 event) was about learning sexual release and empowerment. So I didn’t have one clue about what I wanted or even needed. I spent years being told that my body was disgusting and not attractive. So how would I know what I wanted when others didn’t want me? That would soon be fixed. I thought that Ram – one of the more gentle demons for this – would be the one to be with. No, in fact, Ram was more of an addition rather than the main one. That was left to Razor. For those that do not know, Razor was the Mutilation demon who took control of the darkest sexual selves, the “dungeons”, if you will. I actually was quite afraid of him to start – any Muti for that matter. That changed drastically. I was scared of him and not only that – there were snakes that were a part of the room.
Razor tested my boundaries, and pressed through things that I never thought I would enjoy. Being bound to a St. Andrew’s Cross. Having Edgeplay with knives – but he hit my limit with bloodplay. It was an accident but in doing so, it taught me that there are boundaries and care when learning them. When in sexual situations, a partner needs to be aware of their sub and the person being taken care of. It may not be words, but body language says more. Razor saw that immediately it affected me. He stopped and cared for me. Checked how I was and made sure I knew we could stop. He closed the cut and used a salve to help the scar that appeared rather than smooth skin. It disturbed him and he made sure to make up for that. Because Mutilation do things with their flesh, doing so to others without their consent is a big no-no. Accident or not, he didn’t know that I would scar and that it wasn’t consensual. He made damn sure that I was okay and cared for me. The first time a partner gave a shit.
Demons taught me not just to consent and watch for it in body language, but to understand that there are boundaries. Boundaries are crucial when sexually intimate. If they are crossed, then all activity is stopped and the one major thing to have care. I’ve never experienced this and it was revolutionary that this care was being given. Things changed for me in understanding the dynamics of sexual play.
Back to the snakes – this is where I began to accept and understand that there are taboos but some of them are merely a human thing. Razor had brought the snakes because that was a deep desire I had buried so long ago. An excerpt from the snake part of the session:
Just as Razor lifted a snake from the tank, Vex appeared. He stood in the door and I made eye contact with him. Razor grinned as he placed the snake on my chest.
“They can understand the demonic tongue, something special about them. Do not worry for they can understand us.”
He spoke some words and the snake undulated against my breasts and nipples, the oddest sensation. This was but one that I had always kept hidden in my mind’s depths, always feared to let out and confide in another of my deep desires. Only two on this Earth know of this deep secret within me, both I don’t speak with anymore and most likely they have forgotten.
The other snake was placed on my body and the first curled around my shoulders and behind my neck, before winding his way around my chest. The second snake kept curled on my stomach but her tail wove down toward my folds. I sucked in a sharp breath at what I knew was coming and wanted to experience, but never thought that I would be able to. Razor’s deep voice sent the snake’s commands and I shivered at the tone. A smooth tail flickered over my sensitive clit and I cried out as she (the snake) played with it. The male opened his mouth and dragged the back of his fangs over my breast and nipple. I sucked in a breath as I watched a bright yellow liquid dripped onto my skin. It didn’t hurt but I knew that it was dangerous. Razor wiped it off. The three demons stood at the edge of the bed, watching me.Madam Amora’s House of Sin and Lust 2019 Experience
This was it – this was understanding that these snakes understand the demonic tongue and speak their own version which demons can understand. They can provide CONSENT. And this is what Razor had done. He provided the understanding that with consent there are no such things that are taboo – beyond a few things. I was holding back my desires and my sexual self withered because everything was taboo and not things that were rightly so. This desire for the snakes was nothing. The demons watched with excitement and arousal as I was enjoying this. There was no disgust. No shame. Nothing but arousal and acceptance. True acceptance that it was okay to have this.
That is what the demonic empowerment of the sexual self is about. It’s about true acceptance of even the darkest desires that we have within our sexual self. Knowing that to express, experience, and share this is sacred sexuality. There should be no shame – only acceptance. I was taught that it is okay to have sexual desires and releases that were worthy of my sexual being.
There was another part of this experience that completely threw me for a loop yet taught me something critical. After care.
I was laid down and the snakes removed, curling up with Vex in utter bliss. I was winded from all of that. I could see the whip marks were starting to really take shape now. Razor and Ram were beginning to leave when I got a slew of images from Vex. The next thing I know, I am being placed on the sex swing again and Razor is feeding me ice cream while Ram sucks ice cream off my folds and Vex sucks the ice cream and chocolate off my body. I’m panting and being brought up into another orgasm again. In the corner that Razor manifested from earlier, there was a set of towels and washing basin. Ram and Vex washed me down while Razor applied a massage oil to me and massaged my body and legs. The Aftercare had me glowing in bliss. I felt happy and satisfied and cared for.
This was such a foreign concept to me that I actually did not know how to feel other than sheer bliss. I’ve never had this. Not once. And that was the whole point. Aftercare for both the Dom and the sub, or even without a dynamic, can be more important than the actual bonding through intercourse. If there is no Aftercare, then there is no trust. There is only self-fulfillment and that is deplorable to demons. Even if it’s just a romp or sex, there is still the aftercare to make sure that there are no drops. There can be some severe drops – when a person dives into a darker headspace that can be detrimental to their wellbeing (subdrop is different from Domdrop) – and to prevent this from happening it means taking care of one another. I learned that if a partner does not do this then they are not the one for you. It doesn’t have to be elaborate like what they did for me, but it should be cuddled or cleaning off or even emotionally checking in.