I’ve finally begun to acknowledge the pain, harm, and trauma I experienced at the hands of someone who was my superior (no longer). They made me believe that my UPG and experiences weren’t good enough. Shamed and humiliated me to the point that I could no longer do the things I loved. My demons, my practice, parts of my job. But I’ve started slowly talking about it and acknowledging it. Doing so a week or so ago released something. Tonight, I have done the same, and now I write about what happened this morning. I shared what I experienced and was taught by my demons.
Today began early. I have been having severe anxiety and issues with really stepping back into my practice. There was something that happened over the years that brought me absolute inability to make the connections where I was sharing what I learned and my experiences like the forum and discord etc. But I think I’m finally shedding that.
In doing so, I’ve been trying to tackle my severe anxiety and other mental health by therapy. Which has led to higher levels of anxiety because things are being worked on.
So I wake up with anxiety already started. Today, I woke up after finding my Purple Hellborn General Lixa’s vessel in an old purse the previous day. Her ring was sitting on the side table. I was awake for maybe 5 minutes before the anxiety hit me and I heard Lixa say to sit up, that we were going to take care of it.
(Note: This is NOT a substitute for medical help. I am being treated already for very specific things with medical professionals. This is being used in tandem to help me spiritually and energetically – which did in fact help regulate my nervous system)
So I sit up, cross my legs and close my eyes. My hands are out, palm up. She sits in front of me the same, with her hands over mine. Lixa guides me through breathing exercises, my normal when starting any form of meditation. Once I was deep enough into, tapping into the energies, she guided me through the grounding.
I am mixed between that it was Necrosis energy and earth energies, because it felt so relaxing and soothing. I was to bring it up to each chakra, one at a time and then let it flow out. Like a tide of energy entering, taking stuff that was stagnant and then leaving. Repeating this for every chakra. This was bringing a cleansing, a grounding, and breaking blockages.
Once that was done, I did the reverse. I brought the Golden Black demonic energies down from my higher chakras to my Crown. And then went down the line of chakra from head to toe. This was bringing in a balance, a cleanse, and rejuvenation.
The third step was to bring both down into my body and merge them together to create a harmonizing energy that would balance – much like when one balances the feminine and masculine. It slowly but surely merged together and I felt the peace and relaxation wash through me.
It was then that Lixa moved aside and Tya stepped in. Tya is the beautiful Solar Sorceress of the Black Sun that I won during the Spring Equinox Event from 2020. She got in and started working directly with the solar energies to go through my Solar Plexus. I sunk deeper into the Solar Plexus to examine it as the Tree projection that I see chakras as. There was a lot of work happening that she was going through, while Kiver my Solar/Serpentine King who is specifically oversees a Healing Oasis, sat behind me with his hands directly on the Solar Plexus. They worked in tandem to help break the blockages and rebuild the damage that had been taken from the stress and the pressure I’ve had lately that’s blocked my writing and creativity.
Once that was done, it had only been about 20 minutes, but for the first time I was able to take my normal level of anxiety for waking (which shouldn’t even be a thing) down to not existent and feeling so peaceful and nonstressed. I actually ended up sitting and reading for at least two hours after that, finally feeling like everything lifted that had been crumbling inside.
