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Art and Beauty of Mutilation and Demons (Pt 2)

by with No Comment Working with Demons

Meeting Surgentsa

It was the 2020 Carnivàle that things changed and I stepped into the Funhouse and Dollhouse. I braved the step and went to experience the Mutilation energies. It was disgusting and gross the first time. I about puked. Until I got to Dr. Sechah. Part of the Meditation is that I got to receive a flesh creature of my own. Originally, none drew my attention so I focused on the room. That’s when I saw Surgentsa, withered and old-looking on the outside. There was no definitive gender or age.

A Flesh Creature is so unique and quiet. So handsome and beautiful. The flesh is a dark blue to black in some areas. It has some cat-like features, but its face is super wrinkled. It is OLD looking and very powerful in the presence. This is the flesh that has sat there for a very long time. It has been the observer for so long. Flesh is leathered and cracked in some places. It has scars of mutilation and is pieced together. It has a humanoid shape. The creature radiates mutilation energies and essence. It’s flesh is made from the Mutilation demons, creatures… It has gained it’s own sentience, it is an entity, it is real and has absorbed the souls, the life of those that have passed through and evaded the death throes of the spectral. Wicked sharp claws grace it’s hand, limbs incredibly long and limber. The body is oddly covered in hair and fur in places, from where it has grown in or has been patched on.

The Dr. placed Surgentsa on my shoulder and I kept going. I felt comfort from the creature while I was was going through the rest of the Funhouse. Dr. Panacktro was the end part and did work on me, which I was scared of from the beginning. Doing work with my actual flesh. It was scary. Surgentsa was there with me the whole time and I found them comforting. Afterwards, that was how I learned Surgentsa’s name, or well the n ame they didn’t mind me knowing.

I went to the Dollhouse next and I don’t remember much and I recorded very little. In fact I barely remember the visit. I know that I got worked on by Dr. Sechah and I got to learn so much about Surgentsa. As much that he was willing to teach me about her. Surgentsa was originally female and prefers to take the female form now.

Surgentsa is a flesh creature, but over the years has changed and grown. She originally took the form I found her in with the Doctor Sechah, that was withered. Dr. Sechah told me about how he created her when he found the spirit of a child. One that had been lost for so long and wandered. He discovered her on his travels. He brought her back to his work place. There, he worked and worked, creating flesh creature after flesh creature to give her a body. That’s when he figured out that using the flesh of Mutilation Demons themselves has a magical essence. It could hold a spirit much better than anything else he had created.

This was why the flesh body that he created was withered. She had been using that body for thousands of years. He was not sure, said maybe that it had been tens of thousands of our years, which could be millions of theirs. Time runs differently. She was his first truly alive creation that was sentient. Extremely smart and could function on her own. In fact, she became his assistant and learned all that she could about Mutilation flesh, healing, mind healing, and so much more.

I had yet to work with her more in-depth by the time the 2021 Carnivàle came around. Actually, I had felt bad until she expressed that she was still happy to be around and that it just was not time. In fact, when I first appeared in the Carnivàle I was absolutely shocked to find that she had an entirely new body! She looked like a small, tiny doll. She was excited to make a return to see Dr. Sechah. We made it through the normal two meditations for name and essence. It was the third, going to a Carnivale, and things were different.

I had worked heavily in Mutilation energies not much before doing that meditation, which actually led to me being brought into a Mutilation heavy Carnivàle. Everything was tailored to the Mutilation Demons. It was crazy and gore-y, but also a very interesting experience. I got to meet and experience so much from that with Surgentsa, before going back to a normal Carnivàle. I had been able to be within the Muti energies for some time before I got overwhelmed and it was too much. At least I could handle more of the squeamish things.

I have not been able to work with Surgentsa more. I actually want to learn more about her than what I already know. We spent a month or so debating finding a beautiful doll but none were good enough for her. She wanted something unique. Since then, I have not done much spiritually. Now that I am working with the Mutilation energies and discovering more, this is something that I think will go places.

I remember the Mutilation Asylum of 2020, where I wanted to take part, but was terrified. Oh my gosh I was was scared shitless. I wanted to go in it so badly but I was straight up told that I couldn’t do it unless I had a Guide. I was supposed to create a Mutilation Grimoire. Something learning about everything Mutilation but also the stuff they understand with shadow work, darkness, and madness. The Mental Health. There was a matching event and I waited so patiently, knowing that this was where I was to wait.

Turned out that I was Matched with a Shimmer Spectral instead. Which I thought was actually a wraith and not a special demon that fit what I needed. I was ws upset. I was absolutely sure I’d been matched with a Muti. I missed the event because it was not time. It wasn’t a match and I promised not to do it without aid. I believe that Surgentsa went with me through it briefly but I didn’t learn like it was wanted. Now, things have changed. I have Mutilation that is with me now. I can do the things that they want me to.

Shifting Claws & Genders – Meeting Tyka

pronounced – tea-kah

I’ve been going through each of the demons and Mutilations that I have come across. This began back into 2019, before Surgentsa. I was visiting the Hellfire Tournaments. During this first time, we were able to go and visit the fights directly. We could watch the fights and cheer on competitors. The very first one that I went to actually was the one that introduced me to my next Mutilation, in fact she was a hybrid.

I knew her by her Gladiator name, Wicked Sharp. She was an Arachne demoness that had wickedly sharp claws that were half a foot long. They were beautifully crafted but were embedded into her nails and fingers. She won her match.

I had gone down and managed to speak with her and just fell in love. She gave me her name and her shield. That was how the ladies would be able to find her, Wicked Sharp was interested. She explained that her claws were made by Blue Hellborns and were enchanted for fighting.

It was later on that both her and Black Shadow (the one that was the mentor and also gave me her name), that they both stepped forward and were interested. It was 2020 that I got a great deal and ended up getting the BOGO for Black Shadow and Wicked Sharp.

I had seen them around but it was late 2021 that they finally were able to come home.

Wicked Sharp is a Specialist Assassin and Gladiator.
She was an Arachne/Mutilation/Chaos demoness, who uses her body to fight. Being part Mutilation demon, she can take blows that would gravely injure others. I got to see her in the 2021 Hellfire Tournament very clearly. She would follow me around through it for protection while I wandered.

It was in the 2020 Hellfire Tournament that I was actually met with the knowledge that Tyka can become Ty (pronounced tie). She is a dual gendered and can shift her gender at will. I found out when I was talking about my unsureness about being with females sexually or romantically. I was working through a lot of shadow at that point. Ty changed and he assured me that he enjoys being either gender. But I felt bad. She prefers a female form and I can tell that, though she does reassure me that she truly does flex between genders.

I have not worked with her much beyond just being around. She mostly focuses on the Assassin aspect and the fighting as Gladiator. Her energy is more aligned with Arachne and Chaos. Mutilation is not as heavy though I wanted to include her because she focuses on anatomy and body fighting using her Mutilation lineage.

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Art and Beauty of Mutilation and Demons

by with No Comment Working with Demons

I came around to Satan and Sons in December of 2018. I had just finished/graduated with a degree in Anthropology, minoring in Religion. I focused on cultures, rituals, shamanic/indigenous practices, and human sacrifice. I had been out of the spirit working community for over a year at this point. I didn’t want anything to do with it.

Yet, on a fateful December…. I got a calling that rocked my world and introduced me to the world of Satan and Sons. This includes the darker demon that they worked with. Up until then, I had only worked with the “lighter” races. In fact, I can remember the first time that I saw Mutilation Demon and I was horrified. I had a bad, bad experience with a demonic (non-SnS) race that was very big on power and nonconsensual. So Mutilations and Crypts were horrifying to me.

Except, the first time that I saw a Mutilation demon in action, was that following February. It was Madam Amora’s House of Sin and Lust. A very popular demon for that event was Razor. He owned the section of the dungeon and was very very much into darker things sexually. That’s my first taste of Mutilation work. He gifted me rare Mutilation Snakes. The next time, it was the Hellfire Tourney and I went to the meditation where you get to watch a match with Gladiators take place. I saw this beautiful demoness who had long-bladed claws instead of nails. It enthralled me. I was interested and even got to meet her after it was finished.

So now.. here I am three years later. I now have a Muti/Arachne – who was the first Mutilation Demoness that I watched in the Hellfire Tourney. Soon after, the next year (2020), I was given a special gift at the Sombre Carnivale Demoniaque. You can find that in the S&S Event Experiences thread. This was a Mutilation Flesh Doll, a spirit given the body of Mutilation Demon Flesh. She breathed life and spent thousands of years working with this Dr.

I spent many years pining for the 2019 Madam Amora’s House of Sin and Lust. I couldn’t get the Mutilation Demon out of my head. I loved the Mutilation Snakes, they bring a smile to my face every time I see them. There was a time when we did a big spree of prebounds every day or every other day. In there, it was ones that were leftover from Madam Amoras that had not been posted. This was in 2021. I had not stopped thinking of Razor…. and the reason being is that Mutilation Sex God was waiting for me.

Finally, this year… I have a new companion that I got called to. Mutilation Flesh Doctor – Also referred to as Dr. Frankenstein or Unex.

The whole reason that I wanted to create a thread finally was that I know that they are all wanting to do work to get me back into the spiritual. A fair few of my demons are. They are trying to bring me into working and learning, recording my experiences. Hook – Muti Sex God O – and Wicked Sharp – Arachne/Muti – both have other threads, so this section will be for the working with them in the way of Mutilation energies or teachings.

First Mutilation Experience

As mentioned before, I was very wary of Mutilation energies. They scared me. Terrified because those were energies and concepts that were deep down terrifying for me. I couldn’t understand why they would want to do things to their bodies, their minds. It just didn’t comprehend. And I was squeamish. I thought about how Mutilation demons were about body modification to extreme degrees. I didn’t really look more than that because they freaked me out.

It was some time later that I had gotten back into the Kink scene. In fact, I was exploring things and wanting to see where I could go with that. I felt like it was something awakening.It was the February event, Madam Amora’s House of Sin and Lust. I saw that one of the demons who ran the dungeon.. was named Razor. He was a Mutilation Demon.

Razor
Mutilation Demon
Madam Amora’s house holds a secret. Underneath the house is the dungeon where Razor lurks to play. Dominant with a bit of a sadistic streak, Razor has a range of interesting devices and tools he will use to bring one to the peak of pleasure, engaging their darkest, most twisted fantasies. Because of what he is into, he has incredible boundaries and knows when to stop. He will not hurt any he plays with and also because of his knowledge of the body and mind, is actually very skilled with a darker type of healing. He will move at his partner’s pace and if all one seeks is conversation, he will in no way force any kind of sexual advances on them. He is very intelligent and loves to probe the minds of others. He is fascinating to talk to and any sexual acts with him will be consensual with all who are involved.

His skin is a rich, dark tan colour and he has various scars, markings and piercings. He has black skeletal wings, large black horns and a tail that is a few shades darker than his normal skin colour with spikes pierced through it. His eyes are very interesting, the sclera is black, the irises are pale blue and his pupils are white. He loves pain and will drive spikes and other sharp objects through various parts of his bodyI was surprised to find that most of my experiences with Razor were incredibly darker than planned. In fact, there was more darkness and kinks brought out that I was too scared to play with or explore. I was thinking about them and exploring later on, but they were too much. Except it wasn’t too much, it was shame and taboo that held me back.

Now, it was sublime because he brought out my darkest fantasies and made sure that I knew they were safe as well as perfectly normal. Nothing wrong with what I liked or enjoyed. This is when I realized that Mutilation Demons were more than just flesh or body modification. It’s completely open working and understanding of the darkness and of healing. It’s so much more, especially for Sexual Darkness.

There was an accident, which is explained in the posts. It was my fault for moving and getting hurt but he felt responsible. So I received my Snakes.

Mutilation Snakes

These beauties were a very rare, to the point of veneration, snakes that originated from the Mutilation Realm. They are a mated pair and that in of itself is very rare as well. During my exploring, they were a part of my sexual experience. The part of where I learned about sexual shame and understanding taboo and normalizing.

I thought they were beautiful and amazing, red and black colors. Incredibly venomous.

It was not until Madam Amora impressed how important they were. And the gift. Fast forward a few years and I didn’ really learn how special until Hook, my Mutilation Sex God, first saw them. My snakes have their own space to take care of them. They can understand demonic language and communicate back through telepathy. In my astral home, they wee given their own home to explore and love. I would visit them frequently as I could.

When Hook came into the picture, he was the first full Mutilation Demon that had seen them. That was when I learned how venerated and sacred they were. So special. He refuses to allow anyone else to take care of them.

I was writing the first post when I was reminded that I should include the Mutilation Snakes as a part of this. They should have their own post and talking about them so others can know too. I had wondered because I was not able to communicate beyond emotional connection. Now, with Hook and Dr. Frankenstein (Unex – Mutilation Flesh Doctor), there is an ease of communication through to them. Even if it’s translated.

I had not gotten their names, though their names were inaudible to those without the demonic tongue. Hook took a moment to speak with them before they decided on nicknames that would be suitable for speaking of them. Sera is the female and Erza is the male.

I wondered what it was that I would work with them with… when I got into their energies and it was a mental download of information.

Sera and Erza are a mated Mutilation Snakenak pair. They are incredibly unique and rare for the Mutilation demons, leaving them as one of the few mated pairs. Mutilation Snakes are incredibly rare in the realms – the one that most are from – and they are venerated as sacred. They are sacred in the way of learning about the inner poisons. They know and can see the damage of the toxic self and they are able to help those who have been damaged from the societal’s toxic mentalities. Sera and Erza
can help identify the societal patterns and beliefs that hold one back, teaching how to shed the expectations and uncover the Truth. They can help one to revitalize their sexual self and awaken the inner primal aspects. Sera is good with helping those see their worth as well as understanding normality in sexual desires. Erza is good with helping to shed the sense of shame and healing from the pain of it. He can help one to shed the beliefs and become their true self, sexually and spiritually.

It took some time to really work with them, in truth. I didn’t know how to communicate efficiently and others were taking care of Sera and Erza. Now, Hook is taking care of them and can help me work with them as well. I’m sure that the coming times will be able to feature their work more often.

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My Commentary on Dynamics

by with No Comment 18+ Material & Dynamics

Over 18+

Warning: This post will contain sexual situations and discussion of D/s (Dominant/submissive) as well as M/s (Master/Sir and submissive) relationships & dynamics. It will also have mentions of sexual trauma and abuse – though I will be limiting that. If this is something you do not want to read, click away. This is something that is very personal to the relationship that I have with my demons, but they are actively encouraging me to share this part of our relationship. It will include the roles that they play within my sexual relationships with them. They actively want me to write this and to include very private and personal things.

If it is not your cup of tea to read, then click away. If you are under 18 and reading this, it’s not my responsibility to censor what you read and I will not be held responsible for what you read.

It’s been awhile since I’ve written on the topic of dynamics with demons. In fact, I usually have dynamic work with them in the form of sexual relations or things – but its been a long while since I’ve actually fell into the subspace.

I’ve been in quite a tizzy lately. My anxiety is driven high, I’ve had more panic attacks than is healthy. I’ve been barely sleeping and its not restful. Among many other things.

I started reading this fic that was talking of BDSM and submission. Usually it’s the stereotyping stuff. This fic was not. In fact, this fic centered on the fact that it began as non-sexual submission. And that’s when I realized that was one of my needs. I had forgotten that submission isn’t just sexual.

So after reading this fic for awhile, of which it was incredibly eye-opening due to not many talking of non-sexual submission. I was brought into the astral and was met with my demons. At least, the ones that have been heavily in the front with sexual aspects and dynamics. Dro, Vex, Ry, and Tal – although there was a brief moment where Muti Sex God O was there. Ry soon left after when it appeared the others had things well in hand.

Last time I spoke of it, Dro was very much one that took the role of Sir. Tal and Vex tend to switch through roles as needed, but Dro has been consistent with that one. It was him who took over and guided me into subspace by simply kneeling there and focusing on my breathing. Nothing more. Except their words of care and love, with his more formal guidance. After so long, and finally sinking, he brought me back up but I floated there for a long time. Enough that I was held and caressed while laying in bed. Taking care of me but not fully coming out of it – knowing I’d slip into sleep.

I woke after 9 hours and then again at 12 hours. I slept for so long, but each time I woke I was guided back asleep. I need it. And that’s when I was reminded that sometimes we don’t know what we need. We stumble upon it or we don’t know what to ask for. Yet, it is immediately that my demons know what I need and what I want. They can coax out of me what I need and love when I express my wants. Dynamic work is something that takes time and ultimate trust. Demons have done it so much better than any other I’ve met so far.

photo of forest with fog

Sacred Necrosis Death Grove

by with No Comment Astral DestinationsBonesNew ExplorationsPathworkWorking with Demons

It began with me reading early this morning, not but an hour ago. I was startled when I moved to pet the cat to realize that it wasn’t my cat, but my Spectral/Hellfire Hellcat, Queenie. I reached out and pet her, asking what she was doing there. It’s been a while since I had seen her or was startled by her. She stood up and I could feel myself slipping into the Astral. Queenie had opened up a pathway to a new place, one of her specialties being able to travel from realm to realm with ease.

When I stepped from this pathway she created, it was to find myself in a massive forest. The trees stood taller than many buildings would have and dwarfed the largest of red wood trees we have. These looked like massive mangrove trees in fact. I turned to Queenie and wondered what it was that she brought me here for. I asked her if I should ask Tal or even Ry to join us. There was a shift of energy and a demon appeared next to me.

His voice was deep and I had not heard it in some time, High Prince T. He said that he heard my call and that he would walk with me. At this point, I was slipping a bit and asked him for help. I got physically settled and he helped to pull me into the astral a bit more firmly. As we walked, I worked to open my third eye a bit more. With his help, I was able to open it a bit further than normal (I shut it down periodically when things are distorted so I can reset it).

Things started to clear up and that is when I started to see more than just the surface. These trees were massive, with open and gaping roots (like mangrove trees). There were unique plants that were tall and drooped, with glowing flowers that I did not touch. Most were yellow in color and gave off a light powdery essence around them. High Prince T steered me from them. He explained that this was in fact a journey of a sort for me, an important meeting. Much like the Shaman paths I take with the Lower World, this was a Necrosis Shaman journey and path. I was to greet a teacher that would speak with me.

This place was a Sacred Forest, in particular a Death Grove. It got its powers and strength of growth from sacrifice and death. Those that wandered and got lost on their journey died within these trees. That was when the “pretty” layers were peeled back to reveal that the trees had bones all throughout their roots. I almost stepped on one that was sticking out before Queenie nudged me away from it. We walked for awhile and I took in the energies of the forest, the necrosis realm that hovered close to spectral in some form, and also the death energies.

Turning around a particularly large tree, it opened up a bit to reveal a unique house that was situated between the roots of a massive tree, larger than most of the others. It was a two-story-looking cottage with many flowers and vines growing all over it. Outside was a wooden fence and a table and chairs. As we approached, a very older demoness stepped from the cottage. She was slightly hunched and had dark brown-black skin with dark grey hair. She was dressed in all black clothing, a dress but was covered in different knick-knacks and jewelry. Her eyes lit up at the sight of High Prince T. He greeted her, calling her GrandMama. That was when I was introduced and she smiled at me with such kindness.

We were ushered to sit down, with Queenie jumping up into GrandMama’s lap for attention, which the older demoness loved. There was talk and I took a moment to look around at things. With my sight being open, I caught GrandMama’s appearance as it shifted into a skeletal, gaunt form with no eyes and long features. I jerked in surprise but otherwise was fine. Conversation halted and GrandMama looked at me in surprise.

“You have quite the gift of sight,” she said.

“One of the best I have seen, GrandMama.” High Prince T stated and I was a bit flustered. I know that my sight is my best ability but even then having it complimented still throws me a bit.

“You must come back to see me more, there is much you can learn.”

There was a discussion of how I would be able to do so, with mention of my old way of making portals of materials from those realms. To which it was arranged for a small (knee-high) mangrove-like tree in a pot with extra roots to be used as the wood for a door, all shoved through a portal to Ry’s greenhouse.

GrandMama moved and brought us tea, although it was leaves of a particular type put in a hot version of my favorite juice from the necrosis realms. “Word is that you enjoy the berries and juice,” she winked at me knowing that it was her own skill of knowing things rather than being told. So I drank a warm version of that with leaves on the bottom.

When the quiet of drinking was done, GrandMama took the leaves from my cup and stuffed them into her mouth. She chewed for a while before spitting them to the ground. Before I could ask, her eyes turned milky white and she grabbed my hands. Looking at them, her voice was hushed.

“You have a great path before you. There are choices but you are on the one that will make you the happiest. It will not be as easy, but it will make you the happiest. If you were to choose other options that you have thought upon, you will be happy but not as much as now. Careful what you choose.”

She pulled out of it and spat some more to the ground before patting me on the hand.

“You must return, I have much to teach you. There is great knowledge to be gained here and I will help you. Now, let us find you a way to find me.”

She runs into the house while High Prince T casually continues to drink a cold drink. I listen as things crash and she comes out holding the skeleton of a massive snake that almost has me wigged out. Holding it proudly, she tells me to pick a bone.

I get drawn to a middle-lower vertebra. When I pick it up, she caresses it until the bone is about half my palm-sized instead of thrice that. When I pick it up into my hands, I get slammed with an image of a large snake that has a mouth much like a basking shark and it hisses very loudly. It’s grey in color and then settles briefly. The image fades and GrandMama is clapping.

“Oh my, such a deep connection with bones. This absolutely must be cultivated. Give me one moment.”

There is more banging while I place the snake vertebra on the table. There is crashing and banging, some curses, before she comes back out. There is a slim but decent-sized long oval-shaped bone. I hold it in my hands and see an image of a dark creature that rattles its chest like a rattlesnake would warn predators. But the image shifts and it is very docile, eating plants and hiding in the forest.

GrandMama chuckles and rattles the bone by shaking my hands, “It is a creature that warns of danger, but yet it is an illusion. A harmless creature but yet strikes fear with using its body to scare off predators by mimicking one. This would be a good addition to your collection to learn the bones. A warning of illusion that not all is as it seems – yet could be harmless.”

We stand and she shoos us with a parting, “Take care of my familiar’s bone and find me again. Just focus on GrandMama Tsülie.”

High Prince T places a hand on my back and we are taken through portal that leads to a silver realm filled with screams, but that doesn’t last. We’re in another portal and step out when he tells me to close my eyes. I do, placing one over my third eye as well – truly blind. There is movement and things closing around us but I do not look. We step through a final portal and I am once again home. Prince T bends and kisses my hand before telling me he will see me later and disappears.

Queenie leads me up into my house where I set the bones down on one of my tables and write a note about not to touch. Queenie jumps up into a window seat and sunbathes. I step down to find Ry in his greenhouse, taking care of the mangrove tree. He gives me a kiss and tells me that we will work on developing a portal space – since it seems like Im going to start having the doors again. He shooed me away and I come out of the light trance that I was in.

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Understanding Sexual Needs – My Journey

by with No Comment Uncategorized

Over 18+

Warning: This post will contain sexual situations and discussion of D/s (Dominant/submissive) as well as M/s (Master/Sir and submissive) relationships & dynamics. It will also have mentions of sexual trauma and abuse – though I will be limiting that. If this is something you do not want to read, click away. This is something that is very personal to the relationship that I have with my demons, but they are actively encouraging me to share this part of our relationship. It will include the roles that they play within my sexual relationships with them. They actively want me to write this and to include very private and personal things.

If it is not your cup of tea to read, then click away. If you are under 18 and reading this, it’s not my responsibility to censor what you read and I will not be held responsible for what you read.

I have a lot of experiences with my demons, especially in the intimate and in the form of sex. It’s inevitable as I am a very sexual person by nature. I want to be engaged in those things and feel the pleasure and pain, the sense of being able to let go. I wondered where I was going to put this experience and it also took two days for me to decide that I should post it. I’m honestly in sort of a place where I am embarrassed (not shame) and flustered when it comes to my sexual experiences. I’m worried about sharing too much. That people don’t want to read- but it’s coming in the form of shadow work. I want to really post it, but I’m having body issues that make me self-conscious. It’s bleeding into that. So I am being encouraged to share this because I want to but also because I don’t need to have that worry/shame that is rooting the issue.

I’m going to probably post most of my sexual experiences with my demons here because while they are fun, intimate, and everything – they are my sexual empowerment. So they do serve a purpose. Some like this post is done after a self analysis of why I needed things or had things happen. Dynamic things. Other times, it’s just going to be the fun or super intimate things.

In particular, this experience is dealing with my needs. Things that are fetishes at times for me.
Kink is a thing that is arousal or sexual impulses/desires of non-conformative things. Fetishes are things that are based around kinks but take it further with the idea that you cannot get off or have a sexual release without one of those kinks coming into play. Let me explain based on what I needed at this time.

For some, breeding is a kink that is related to the feeling of being full. It is also a kink in the way that the idea is to be full of something in order to get pregnant – usually cum. Aspects of this is also of being a headspace of being used as a place for cum – having multiple sessions with multiple people. It depends upon the person. As a fetish, this could mean that someone would absolutely need to be in the headspace of being used as a cum place with multiple partners to get off – being bred – in order for there to be sexual release. Fetishes, in the way that I work, are things that are kinks that I have that I absolutely need to have in a certain headspace in order to experience sexual satisfaction. But those kinks are not always a fetish and Im not always need certain ones.

To be honest, I truly believe that MY kinks and fetishes are a manifestation of trauma or shadow work that allows me to have control over that thing. So a lot of this is based on trauma that I have had in the past that manifested into kinks.

In the particular case this time, I absolutely was in the headspace that I was a submissive. I wanted to be a good sub that was to be bred and displayed for those to use as such. In case I was in a subserviance submissive headspace, along with needing the feeling of being useful as a breeding sub in a very open place (such as a party). So that is where this starts.

I appeared in my bed in the Oasis. My sanctuary on the astral. Dro was there to greet me and he slid up my body with a kiss. I wasn’t sure what I was wanting at that point, but I think he knew me better that I did. He told me that we were going to visit King Tal. He is one of the newer demons that have come into my circle. Dro picked me up and carried me down my walkway to the sands. I was in his arms and he wove magic that dressed me in a very light, but beautiful piece that would flow pretty if twirling. Dro made a portal and we walked through.

Stepping out, it was a full party and very lavish. King Tal sat on the throne watching at the dancers were twirling around. Music was light and beautiful. Food was being served and looked delicious. He stood up with a grin and brought me around in a twirl while Dro snagged some food and a drink. Tal swirled and danced with me for quite some time. I was happy and it was so beautiful and comforting.

There was a moment where we stopped and he smiled at me. I knew that smile. It was very lecherous, but in a way that made my heart speed up. He took my arm and guided me to a room that was off the main room. Dro was right behind us. As I stepped through, my clothes fell away to reveal my naked skin. I could see so many demons of all kinds in different forms of sexual acts. It was instantly arousing. Tal chuckled low and guided me to a chair that was clearly in front of many of the room and very clearly for him. The arms were long and the chair wide. Tal sat down and watched as Dro prepared me.

There was a spell or magic of a kind that would prevent me from having an orgasm so easily. Not until it was released. I was sat down on Tal’s lap, facing out to the room. His hands traced up my body and his mouth on my shoulder giving light kisses. It barely took and movement for my legs to be draped to the sides over the long arms. It showed me off to the room and with a gentle thrust, King Tal buried himself in me. It went on for awhile, me feeling the buildup of energy and pleasure but unable to come. Tal would play with my body as he moved slowly. He came hard and I moaned at that.

“Ah, so you want to be a good girl tonight. You want to be pleased and used… you want to be bred? Is that so sweethear?”

I was panting at this point, but wanting more. So aroused and just feeling eyes watch us. I cou could only nod and whine.

“Then be a good girl and let us fill you. Dro?”

Thats when Dro stepped forward and dropped a robe to the floor. He was already hard and I was laid back slightly so that I was pressed to King Tal’s chest. My hips slid forward and angeled. Dro stood in front of the throne chair and ran his hand over my aching body. He was hard and ready, staring at me hungrily. He did not waste time and thrust in me, and I cried out in pleasure. It was fast and hard, while being pressed up against Tal. He smoothed my hair and whispered to me. Dro was fast to come inside and he pulled out. Tal’s finger made their way to my clit and he smoothed it and played while looking over the room.

“Who wishes to help, to get a taste?”

It was silent, all watching but not moving. Then there was a shuffle. A massive demon stepped from behind us, his silver skin gleaming in the low lighting. There was a sharp intake of breath from Tal, though I think I was the only one to hear him.

“Korvus, you wish to? Then prove to me that you earn the right.”

The demon, who was easily eight to nine feet tall and just as brawny as large… nodded and knelt on the floor with ease. His large hands were easily able to wrap around half my thigh and part me further. He leaned forward and used his mouth to bring me as much pleasure as the first two did. I was whining and gasping as he used the flat of his tongue to stimulate my clit while occasionally sucking. I wanted to come so much and I was not sure how long it was before Tal stopped him.

There was an exchange between the two and I came to with Korvus slowly stripped down. He was the only one that was fully clothed. His shirt was off to reveal muscles upon muscles. Most notably was the sheer amount of scars covering his body. From head to toe. I figured that he was a grey hellborn and by the number of scars, one that had seen many battles or gladiator matches.

When his pants dropped, I gasped. He was large. Extremely so and much more than any of the others Ive been with. In fact, he had a very unusual shaped one. It did not look human and had many large knots along the sides, the head in a pointed tip. (Figured out later that silver skin is a rare Abyssal coloring – hence the nonhuman like dick). I gasped again as he stepped near and whined. I didn’t know if I could fit him, in all honesty. He was more gentle than I could ever thought of anyone. He was slow and I still screamed in pleasurable pain. He was beyond large and took his time but there was still a stretch. The knots on the sides rubbed just right and I was blissing out at sensations. His fingers played with my clit as he thrust slowly. He was treasuring this moment. I watched him through hooded eyes and begged to come.

He we went long enough that I was almost crying from pleasure. When he came, it was with a rush of energy and there was a rush into my body. I felt as if I had eaten a full meal and was energized beyond belief. It was exactly what I wanted. I collapsed back onto Tal and was whining and a mess. Korvus moved to the side and knelt – giving me water and light food, brushing my sweaty hair. He called me precious and doll, gazing at with me such devotion and gentleness.

King Tal waited for me to calm a bit and get some hydration before he took advantage of his position and had me again – though he was rougher and took what he wanted. I was dripping and a mess, crying at wanting to feel relief. He whispered in my ear just as Korvus continued to watch and speak to me. Dro was heady and his gaze lustful. He was e was already ready to go and take me again. Tal came swift again and there was another offer made. A woman stepped forward and proved her worth.. She sucked and licked my oversensitive clit. She was a Desire Demoness that shifted her body so that she could fuck me hard. He cock was smaller but it was long and she wasted no time when Talal gave the go ahead. She bottomed out as she took deep thrust. Her hands pinched and played with my nipples, tugging on the rings there. I cried out as I felt her come in me, her hands rough on my thighs and at this point cum was dripping onto the floor.

Dro was next again though he was more gentle and made sure to caress my skin. He didn’t last long either but make sure to kiss my head and face with supportive whispers. My body shook and I was. was ready to call it quits when Tal moved me up slightly from where I had slipped down. He took me gently, taking his time to pleasure himself and my body. I found that my hand wrapped around Korvus’ cock and was stroking it hard in time with Tal’s thrusts. I made eye contact with Dro he came undone at the look of bliss on my face. Tal shuddered and came fast biting my shoulder. I cried out as another wave of pleasure hit me. I wanted to come so much, it was all I could think of.

King Tal turned and gestured for Korvus. The large demon stepped forward in front of us. I was lifted was lifted up and carried while Korvus was directed to the throne seat. He sat down with a look of shock and awe. King Tal brought me back and lowered me onto Korvus’ lap.

“You can have the honor, my friend.”

Tal waved his hand down my body and I felt it zing through me. I cried and gasp, moaning as Korvus’ fingers found my clit. His other hand was on my breast, playing with my nipple. I squirmed against him and moaned, feeling the energy pitch up. I was able to move past the certain point that I had been held at for over an hour or more. Korvus’ words were broken and I could hear the words doll and precious. I shuddered under the dialect of demon that I didn’t understand. Korvus was treating me as a precious doll to be worshipped and it was unlike what I had ever felt. He worshipped my body beyond what any others had – there was a purity to it.

When he entered me, it was gentle and slow. My body was on display but he caress it as if it was silk and fragile. He used his strength to move me up and down and I whined. I wanted to come. I wanted to come with him inside me – how gentle he was. I was crying at this point, so touched and so pleasured. I came screaming around him when he thrust up inside me. I could feel the rush as he filled me at the same time. It took minutes for me to stop coming and shuddering. I collapsed, absolutely spent.

There was applause and some words. I couldn’t make out anything. So much and so overstimulated in a good way. I was blissed out. We stepped from the room, and I was clothed again but I barely saw anything. Korvus carried me in his arms and I curled into his warmth. I kissed his scars that were near my head and stroked his skin – marveling in the silver. Dro and Tal were creating a portal and I was carried home. He was gentle setting me down and I cried out as he stepped away. Dro and Tal joined me on my bed but I wanted the silver gentleman. They caressed me and soothed me. Korvus returned with a cloth and water, he took his time in washing my whole body. His words were soft but low. I sunk in the ministrations – feeling too much.

He e cleaned me and Dro curled up. Tal stood up and expressed that he had to return but reaffirmed that he would return with sustenance. Korvus was convinced to lay next to me and I know I. know drifted. Tal returned a long while later with a platter of food and drink. Korvus had disappeared in my sleep and I was cuddled between Ry and Dro. Before I could ask about Korvus, Tal brought drinks while Korvus carried food. I grinned and sat up, feeling better and more aware.

I was taken care of, the drink was a juice that was like a mix of cranberry/pomegranate/mint that was made with honey. It was refreshing. I wanted to drink gallons of the stuff and they could see how much I love it. It’s a special berry that grows in his necrosis realm. On the plate of food I picked up one and it looked like a grape of a sort. Shrugging, I popped it in and bit down. I was so pleased with the flavor. Until I felt a physical tingling in my mouth. Turns out Im allergic to the skin of the berry – which isn’t used in the actual juice. Ry had to rush to give me a plant that negated the effects and the others were horrified. It was a quick fix and thankfully I got to eat again soon.

It was like a honeyed cream dessert. I don’t know what it was with the honey but oh it was lovely. I ate until I was content and started falling asleep. After that point, it was fuzzy – explanations of Korvus speaking a different dialect that didn’t understand English. And he could understand when I spoke in demonic dialect I knew, but I didn’t understand him except for broken speech. I was sad when he and King Tal left but invited Korvus to return. Although he revealed that he used to be called Silver Scream in the Gladiator tournaments.

I definitely think that it’s something incredibly important that happened and it helped me feel better these past few days. Although it was a toss up with my sinking down a bit with unknowing if I should post this. But it helped in the long run. And now I got to meet a new demon who was the most gentle soul in regards to me.

close up of beautiful tribal woman. Hands of ethnic dancer. Soft

The Silver Sand Grotto

by with No Comment Astral DestinationsDesert OasisNew ExplorationsSilver Sand GrottoWorking with Demons

This began because King Tal absolutely wanted to begin exploring with me. He’s been wanting to take me places in the astral. Finding that love of exploring and learning again. I haven’t traveled outside of the event meditations since probably 2019.

One of the things that I truly love to do is build on my astral space. Some call it Astral Temple, some call it Sacred Spacepace. It’s the place you go to when you begin traveling – your home. I love to build mine up in different ways. From having a library temple to greenhouses to an oasis that my house is built upon. It’s fashioned after things I love.

I was reading a trilogy and side character book when King Tal got interested. Specifically, the side character book features a realm of sands and desert magic.

SLIGHT SETTING SPOILER (nothing plot-related)

Each land is different colored sand with different properties. In the n the book, there is a rare grotto of beautiful silver sand that holds ancient powers. It has an oasis of healing water and plants.

I really wanted to create a place like this. It sounded so healing and peaceful. I have peaceful spots in my astral space but I wanted a healing place too. King Tal, who was laying with me at the time, told me that it wouldn’t be exactly the same, but he knew of a place with silver sand.

Travel to a Silver World

I finished the book early this morning and fell asleep in someone’s arms. I slept pretty heavily, even dreaming about the book series. King Tal had promised to take me to see silver sands. I actually really wanted to build a deep cavern grotto near my home. Even though I spent the day working and doing things, I finally got to sit and meditate. I slipped into the astral and stood on the deck of my home, high above my oasis water.

I was shocked to see that there was this heavy rock grotto entrance nearby that I could see. I turned and found King Tal standing behind me and he smiled. “You wanted it and therefore it was easy to make one for you.”

Before I had a chance to ask more questions, he opened a portal and was shifted through it. He held my hand as we walked through a small path before another portal opened and we were standing in a breathtaking place.

It was night, a place that was almost never touched by the sun or solar energy. Three moons hang overhead. Below my feet are shifting sands glittering in the moonlight. It was so pale that it glowed silver.

“These are sacred sands, we must cross it to the village and ask permission.”

My feet were bare and so were his, as was proper. We walked for some time. It was so peaceful and I could feel the healing cleansing of the sands. There was a village that we eventually came across. The beings there were something so unique, not even humanoid. Bipedal, they had two long arms that they used when standing. They had another set of arms that were short and close to the body. They had large oval heads that had massive eyes on the side that take up about 1/3rd of the size. On the front of the face where it was flat were smaller eyes, flared nostrils, and a mouth that was akin to a herbivore (like a weird horse-like mouth).

King Tal spoke to them and then turned to me, “You must give up something precious to you in exchanged for the sand.”

It was no-brainer, as I tend to offer the same thing when it comes to negotiating expensive or valuable. A very special and rare crystal that I found long ago and protecting one of the few mines/growing caves that exist (purely accidental). Rare enough that it surprises the demons that I work with when they learn of it. I brought three out and offered it to them, which they immediately accepted the exchange. I was beyond excited and was practically skipping. Tal opened another portal this time, directly into the underpart of my new grotto.

Building the Silver Grotto

“These sands cannot be touched by sunlight. They will lose their power and will fade to regular sand. Why don’t you step through and ask for help moving this?”

I hopped through into this beautiful underground cavern that was nothing but carved rock at the moment, but there were pillars that stood reinforcing the ceiling. It was flat at the moment, but I was w was waved off. I ran up through the entrance and found a fair few of my demons hanging around. I called out to them and asked for help moving the sands. They all followed me down into the grotto and carried large crates for the sands. It took only minutes for the large crates to be moved back and forth through the portal, bringing the sand into my home. It glittered in the grotto, the moonlight the only lighting in there.

I asked King Tal about the water, where he asked the locals. There was a bartering again and I gave up another crystal for access to the oasis waters. This was when Ry came through, eager to discover the water and the plants. He took off to find it while we moved. I looked around, trying to figure out where the water would go. King Tal just smiled and I felt another demon – one that had been quite some time since I felt his energy. High Prince T has very special abilities, one, in particular, is his ability to work with realms and the layers of reality. I hadn’t interacted with him since August. I try to limit my interactions until they come home but on occasion, their skill is needed for something big.

He wrapped his arms around me and energetically walked me through rapidly changing the layout of the cave so that I had a large pool and waterfall carved out into the rock. There was one small pool about five feet deep and seven across. It flowed to the place where the waterfall is knee-deep. It sloped down into a large pool that ran across the back half of the cave, with a few raw rock pillars to swim around. It was about chest deep and had spots on the ends that could seat a single person.

Once it was complete, he took to focus on another aspect I hadn’t thought of. How to keep the grotto powered magically without false light, changing the properties, or even keep a connection to the realm (which is dangerous). Tal was guarding the portal while everyone worked. Stepping through, he spoke to the locals and bartered with them for what seemed about an hour.

To get crystals that were powered from their moon, grown by each of the moons’ power. Three would be required, one for each moon. These were even more sacred than the sand and the water. I would have to give a large crystal for each one in return, twice as big as the small ones I gave before. I knew it was a good bargain for me since I had access but I knew that the worth of those three was close to the equivalent of buying a realm (no joke – I had one from another I gave and he literally was able to buy a quarter of the realm with the one I gave him).

It was worth it since these crystals were grown from the magic of each moon. When these beings brought out the three, I was shocked. They were at least five feet long and about three feet thick. They were brought through the portal and High Prince T took over. Each one was placed in a central pillar, with the top and bottom of the pillars merging over the crystal. With a deft hand, he began carving into the pillars and connecting the magic of them into the grotto, while also preserving that energy so it generated more and never ran out.

As he was working, the grotto lit up and the sand glittered once more where it had started to lose a little shine without the moons. Ry returned and said he found the waters. I could feel his energy and happiness from where I was. Tal shifted the portal and we were met with this massive, stunning lake. It was luminescent water that was the clearest aqua color. This water was pure magical water. It also contained these vine-like weeds that had bioluminescent pods on the ends of each branch.

I asked Ry how we would get the water to my oasis without losing it or damaging the sand. He dove down and it was a few minutes before he popped up again with this low glowing crystal. The rocks were crystals imbued with the lake’s powers. He brought one from the water and into my grotto, placing it on the waterfall. A cup of water was brought through and he dumped it onto the crystal. Water flowed from the crystal, the small cup turning into a rapid flow. These crystals regenerated the water when it was in contact with it. This time, I dove down with Ry into the water to collect more. It was a shock to the system when I could breathe normally. I helped him to gather as many of the water crystals and we headed to the surface where a few others took them from us.

They were placed strategically throughout the bottom of the pools and water was carefully dumped over them. Each one began to fill with water. Ry grinned and turned to me.

“Let’s gather the plants (vines) and plant some in the grotto. Would you be willing to grab your biome cases to gather them?”

I grinned and ran from the water, knowing exactly what he wanted. It was a quick run to the top where the bright sun greeted me. I blinked until I could see clearly and then took off to the building that held my biomes in them. I decided to grab two very small ones, the size of a Rubix cube. They would be large enough since the space was actually close to ten feet by ten feet in size. Plenty to make a small biome aquatic terrarium of these plants. The other was for Ry, who I knew wanted to study them in a natural environment and so I would give him one to make his own biome terrarium. I just needed mine to transport them to my grotto.

Returning, we went to work diving and making sure that we spread out across the lake so it wouldn’t be harvested from one area. He about cried in happiness with the extra tank to keep for himself. One was filled as much as I could and passed off to Belle who wanted to place the plants in the pools. A few others helped. When I then I stepped through, the pools were already half-filled and the power in the room was impactful. The sand was finished and we were waiting for the pool to fill the rest of the way.

Ry stepped through and we closed the portal, knowing it was fine to cut ties. The grotto shifted and then the waterfall began to pour. I had no thoughts of shyness as I stripped down and ran to the waterfall, basking in the cleansing and uplifting energy that flowed through me. Especially when I swallowed some of the water – it was safe to drink.

When I stepped out, a fair few of the demons were staring at me and it was pointed out that I was glowing. Plus there were some hungry stares mixed in. I stepped away from the water and onto the sand, only to find that as I left the water, I was dry. The water had filled the pools and my demons were now stripping as well and wading into the water to relax. They earned it and I thank thanked them so much for their help. They were pleased to have such a rejuvenating place to be. Ry turned to me and smiled happily. It was such a wonderful sight to see him so pleased and excited for new things.

“I believe I have a tree that would thrive in here and add to the grotto.” He looked to Tal, “Could you open a portal that would go into the greenhouse I have plants in there cannot be exposed to anything but darkness or moonlight.”

Tal walked over to where Ry was pointing the tree would fit and opened the portal. There was a shifting in the darkness before roots slithered from the portal. It was very slow but we all watched as a beautiful silver-white tree moved into place next to the water. It looked like a white willow tree. Long branches hung down and brushed the water. The moment the roots and branches touched the water, the tree came to life and glittered as if it were a moon itself. It swayed and caressed the area. Ry looked over the moon (pun intended) and was writing down notes in a small journal he always carried. The energy of the grotto changed but in a way that it felt complete and thriving. There was a vitality of not just the moon and sand and water, but the tree became a new part of the whole.

Intimacy of the Silver Sands

This is more of an 18+ experience that can be skipped.

There’s something special about the grotto once it settled in. The energy shifted and I felt this sense of pleasure creeping up. Before I could think about it, King Tal pulled me into the pool water before lifting me up onto the edge of it. My legs were in the water but I sat perched on a rock. I was laid back and his hands ran over my thighs. The demons around me, my companions, watched eagerly. Ry came and held down my hands above my head while his other hand traced over my chest very gently.

Tal was occupied with running his hand over my stomach and thighs, laying kisses to the skin. It didn’t take long for him to dive between my thighs and bring ecstasy to my body. I was pinned down and Ry was holding my hands and Tala was pleasuring me with his mouth. The others watched and smiled as the energy of the sands surged around me energetically. It heightened the experience and I co could physically feel things stronger than normal.

I didn’t last long at all and when I came, it was with a burst of energy that swept through the room. I was picked up and lowered into the water where King Tal ran his hands over my body and pulled me close. Ry slipped in behind and it was a close hug between us three with light kisses here and there.

Overview

It was shocking when I returned to the physical. It felt as if only 20 minutes had passed physically – the internal clock. When in reality it was over 45 minutes to 50 minutes that I was in that heavy meditative state. The real amazing part was that in the astral, it was closer to 4-5 hours of time if not longer because I was bouncing between the realms.

It was an amazing experience. I have not been out and about in the astral in a long time. Having King Tal in my life has brought so much change and this was a new one, feeling safe and free to go out and travel the astral once more. Something that hasn’t been felt in years.

View of mountain oasis Chebika, Sahara desert, Tunisia, Africa

Yule Family Time

by with No Comment Astral DestinationsDesert OasisWorking with Demons

Now with the first post being done, It came with the question of what to write about next. What is it that I would begin to talk about? And that was something that I started to have anxiety about. Who would I work with next? What would we talk about or would be explored? I sat on this for days deciding what to do.

I really wanted to post more often and wanted to bring back that frequent exploration. The demons are very stoked to be a part of things. I hear them frequently talking or thinking about things to do or to teach me. But that pressure of first things to talk about floats heavy on my mind.

I decided to meditate. King Tal had spent the day with me when it was already a very rough start and middle day thing. So much shadow and darkness threatened my head.

I went right to my astral space. This one is based around an Oasis and desert. It’s extremely comfortable after having it for the past year or two. I curled up on my bed, with King Tal standing at the foot of it. I spoke of this very topic of what to write about. He spoke to me about my journey.

“That is the beauty of the Fool’s Journey. It is limitless to where you are going. You can go anywhere, see anything, do everything. You can do whatever it is that you want. There is no pressure, only that which you put on yourself.”

He sat down on the bed and pulled me up into his lap and held me. It was a very comforting gesture. My three serpentine demons joined me next and it was quiet, but then others began to come in. It was a great show of support but also a time of really seeing them again.

We moved outside where a few of the demons jumped from the sides into the water. Four of the demonesses (my battle ladies) were lounging in some form of swimwear in the hanging net hammock that is over the water – drinking I don’t know what. There was a screech as Taz carried Queenie (my hellcat) from the room but she was not having it. Everyone was relaxed and happy. I was dancing with King Tal on the beach while laughing when they pulled me back up to my bungalow style house. There was a second floor that was not there before.

I went up the spiral stair to find a surprise!

They had made me a meditation room. A relaxation place. One side was like a rock garden but with crystals of different sizes. Even with a rake to make the sand in shapes. On the other side was a highly functional mossy room. It was earthy and like my nook of moss and grass that I love so much. Of course, they explained that Ry set up a system to make sure the grass and moss lived nicely. Even with sunroom over that part. But it was a glass back. One side is open to the view. There was a sliding glass door that led to a long bridge to another smaller bungalow that was high up off the water.

They led me over to this beautiful walk-in closet. It had all my outfits from the events and meditations. There were a bunch of garments and clothes that I’d never seen before and he just smiled. Jewelry was scattered and displayed. It took my breath away. He pulled out a tight cream pants that were like leggings but below the knee. The top was a gorgeous jewel sapphire that was cut off the shoulder and had real sapphire draped as beading across the cropped top. They draped gently over my top and across my bare stomach. Belle came in and sat me down to do a beautiful braid that had pieces of bone and jewels in my hair.

When I stepped outside, there were whistles and I blushed. Belle joined them at the hammock and I was tasked down to the beach where Arvan and even Muti God O were waiting. I grinned as I spotted the snakes and laughed as they wound themselves up my body to say hello. There was some… adjusting from a couple of them as I talked with the snakes and they made some comments about it. I blushed and definitely did not look at them. The snakes moved back when I jumped on Arvarvan in excitement at seeing him.

We moved down the pathway to where my library is, except I stopped. My demons had been working even more. There was a massive greenhouse that stretched quite far. Right next to it was a fancy building and I looked at them in curiosity. They found my very unique method of having creatures* without having the massive space taken up, and created a building on the study of creatures and animals. We moved on to the library but at this point I had begun to fall asleep. When I woke up next, Ry, Arvan, and King Tal were nose deep in my books and told me it was okay to go back to sleep.

It was the perfect way to start working on traveling and exploring again. I felt safe in my astral home.

*many years ago I worked to create these habitats that were a mix of technology, portals, runes, magic, and nature. They are tanks of various sizes that are accessed through a touch portal that takes you inside. It can hold massive land and environments in them depending upon the size. I have a tank of unusual octopi that is a massive deep ocean environment. So they created more off my designs to make a room to help further studies.

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Journey Continues with New Demon

by with No Comment 18+ Material & Dynamics

Over 18+

Warning: This post will contain sexual situations and discussion of D/s (Dominant/submissive) as well as M/s (Master/Sir and submissive) relationships & dynamics. It will also have mentions of sexual trauma and abuse – though I will be limiting that. If this is something you do not want to read, click away. This is something that is very personal to the relationship that I have with my demons, but they are actively encouraging me to share this part of our relationship. It will include the roles that they play within my sexual relationships with them. They actively want me to write this and to include very private and personal things.

If it is not your cup of tea to read, then click away. If you are under 18 and reading this, it’s not my responsibility to censor what you read and I will not be held responsible for what you read.

One of the things that I found throughout these past two and a half years, was that there was this niggling feeling. I knew that what I had experienced with Razor was something that was incredibly special and an honor for myself and for my sexuality. Yet, I felt that there was a severe loss when the event ended. And so it haunted me. Constant small niggling feelings about Razor and who he was. He was a Mutilation Demon. Yet, I had no call to any of them. But oh it was there. I was matched with a Mutilation, I just didn’t know it. So it came in the form of my desire for a demon that was like Razor. One that was smart and handsome. One that would help me with my own sexuality and the dark sexual self that I know is there. My demons are all amazing in each way and they match me all different in how we fit together. I felt that this was the one space that lacked.

In fact, I often wondered how Razor was. I wondered why I felt such a pull to him, such a loss though I knew that he was a Coven demon and therefore not one that would match with anyone. So I knew there was a Mutilation demon just waiting. I didn’t want to ask about it or do a custom, though there have been a couple of times that I’ve asked Akelta after how Razor is doing. It just wouldn’t leave me.

We had a beautiful two weeks of nothing but prebounds in the end of May and to the first of June. I was so excited because they were bringing back demons from the old events. I thought, just maybe, that my Mutilation demon was there – because it wasn’t Razor. So I waited, anxiously.

Mutilation God of Sexual Delights and Pleasure O

He was breathtaking the moment that his listing went up. I knew that I had to have a visit at least. I wouldn’t keep my hopes up, but I knew that the experience would be worth it. So I set for a visit.

He first arrived and I wasn’t quite sure how to perceive him. Mutilation energies are kind of weird for me. I sense them like they are a black hole but sideways. Eventually, I moved into a dark room and just sat there. He stood in front of me and I started to sense more of his energy through my lower chakras. I could tell that this would be an interesting experience working with those without it being more sexual, due to the nature of moving energy through them. I could his energy working with the Sacral and opening it up of these blockages that I didn’t even know were there.

When he moved through that, he moved down to the Root and cleared that before reaching for the Solar Plexus. Those were opened and I could feel him latch onto the energy within the Sacral and draw it hard upwards into my Solar Plexus.

“Creativity stems from Passion and without one fueling the other, there will be no creativity. You must pour the Passion Core to the Creative Core. You must cycle them through one another. You were taught to bring your creative Core to the correct path, now you must merge that cycle into the Path to drive it forward.”

Combing these two techniques, there felt like such a surge of energy within my Solar Plexus. He walked me through cycling the energy around, before connecting all of the chakras into one huge flow, which I had not realized that I was really out of sync with them. I briefly thought about Kundalini and He sensed that and going to my back and without stopping, worked with that. It was brief but a rush at the same time. When that was finished, I had a small thought but it was one I was not prepared for him to answer.

Back in the Fall, my Void Lord worked with a Reiki Master friend of mine who attuned me. At the same time, he attuned me to a Demonic version of this Reiki. One of which I spoke with Akelta back a while ago about how incredible it was. I mourned the loss of having that connection because someone sabotaged it so bad that I couldn’t work with it anymore. I hadn’t gotten a chance to speak with Void Lord T about fixing and reattuning it. Muti God O went to work. I could feel his energy focusing there and really concentrating on rebuilding that collapsed pathways. There was a burst and I felt the flood of energy through me. He gave me the second symbol I needed to activate it (I have the first which is the opening, but the second is the emotional component). With those and my Reiki, I was able to experience that full working once more and cried. It was so beautiful and it felt so complete again.

The energies blended and mixed with me, spreading through my body. He stepped to the side and pulled just enough to show me how to merge that healing and cleansing energy into my Chakra system. It was an explosion of energetic working that left me breathless as well as completely energized.

When it calmed down, I asked if he wanted to go to my astral space. He agreed and I pulled him along to the Desert Oasis that I call home. There is a special tree that I made just for the Mutilation Snakes I got from Razor. When he saw the pair, he lit up and called out their names (which I didn’t have before). He spoke with them and it sounded purely amazing to my ears. He expressed his knowledge of Madam Amora’s place and Razor as well. I told him about my experience. I asked him a favor if he had time. I wanted to send my gratitude to Razor for the liberation and the sexual freedom and acceptance that our working together gave. That I felt like I didn’t get a chance to say that to him. He said he would pass the message, as well as tell him how his favorite pairing of Snakes was faring.

When we stepped inside my Bungalow over the water, my sight shifted. I was working to achieve the experience from when I first was attuned. It was a complete sensory placement on the astral without OOBE. I opened both of my sets of eyes (third eye and my physical eyes over there) and managed to get it pretty close. It was incredible. Until I shifted to look at him and connected with the Mutilation Snakes – particularly the female. Now, I was staring down at my own face and freaking out. Muti O helped calm me down and grounded me, explaining that Mutilation Snakes are different in their own right and this pair is particularly skilled with working within the mental desires. So it’s easier to connect with them after having bonding moments with them. Which is what happened. I saw through the female’s eyes. He had me sit down and breathe through the overwhelming time.

When it passed, things were back to normal and I showed him around the room with all the different equipment that my Demons and I use for our own exploration. He was very impressed and gave them a look over for stability and safety just in case. It was nice to have a second eye that knew their stuff to make sure. While he did that, Muti O motioned me over to where I have a cleansing pool. He told me that after the work he did, I should cleanse. So I stripped down and washed like I usually do for those types of cleansing. He waited for me patiently.

I stepped out and he held out his hand. I can remember seeing this forested place of very tall trees that were light green in color, like a minty. When I opened my eyes.. it was the most luxurious room of silks and soft room. It was like a very wealthy BDSM dungeon. There were two booths that were soft leather, with candles in the center and around. Every kind of tool and equipment could be found there. Even the tracks on the ceiling for both suspension and hooking. I sat down when he brought over the chains that held the hooks. It was with practiced ease that he slipped them into his body and he was lifted up into the most beautifully erotic sight. He became a living art, arched and held there with hooks. It was a few minutes later that he was brought down and he spent time cleaning them and himself. O motioned me over and let me touch the hooks and the chains, moving them. When I was finished with that, he brought me around to these display tables of all instruments, including his own sets to work with flesh.

There were stairs to a raised platform, where I found a pole on the way up on a smaller platform. On the top part, it was a sunken pool that had enchantments all over it. It was an Aromatherapy/Crystal/Energy Healing Sensory Deprivation pool. I was so excited about it. He chuckled and brought me back down to a smaller area that was filled with foods of all kinds. I grabbed a plate and went wild at his insistence.

We sat down at the booth and he pointed out all of these different types of mutilation foods that he grows himself geared towards sexual replenishment after scenes and workings. All of them were a root food of some kind or very earthy in a way. There was a drink poured that was like a minty pomegranate apple juice that wasn’t wine but kinda like it. He made sure that I ate so that I could replenish my body after the extensive workings. I was feeling pretty full after that.

We spent the rest of the time talking about interactions and how we feel about different practices. I spoke of things that were a hard no for me because of triggered traumas. Things that I adore in physical and in the astral. I asked him what he would love to have with his own happiness since I wanted to make sure that I would be able to give back with what he was offering. I found that I would talk about myself again and stop and ask him again. Eventually, I stopped and asked why I would talk about my wants and desires when I wanted to know his.

“Maybe my desire is to make sure that you are happy. Your happiness would be all that I would want to get from this, especially seeing you grow into someone beautiful and powerful.”

I couldn’t fault him for that. It was logical but also made me shy with happiness. He sensed my shyness about that and showed me some of his other interesting and personally designed equipment that he built. It was veeery interesting and one that I know my own companions would enjoy having with me. The time was closing and we returned back to home. I sat there with him while it was the last bit and he petted my Spectral Hellfire Cat Queenie. Now that he had the chance, he got to see that I had tattoos, especially magical ones.

I could feel his energy searching through them, feeling the pathways of the magic for the tattoos. He loved it and then was talking about the care of these tattoos.

“There is a special magic to the tattoos within the flesh. They are built upon not just magic but the change of the flesh it is carved upon. Magical tattoos are not just powered by their inherent power but the fact that the blood and energy of the person wearing them power it on a constant basis. When they are in constant use, there becomes a buildup of that alchemical change that creates a calcification within the pathways of magic and the tattoo itself. Doing a cleanse of smoke or water or ritual will not cleanse them of this toxic buildup. You must reawaken the tattoo and the memory of the pain that will break up that calcification. Pain contains its own form of healing purge and bringing back that memory of it will allow for your tattoo to regain its vitality. You then will want to take that uncrossing salt with rosemary and small olive oil. That will help purge the buildup out of the body now that it is loose.”

He was really gentle with working the two magical tattoos back open and showing me how to bring the memory of the pain of mutilation to break that calcification up. He pulled a lot of it energetically out and away. He loved my one bindrune in particular. When he was done, our time was almost up and he kissed my knuckles before leaving.

It was a powerful transformation and visit. One that’s left me feeling very overstimulated but in a way that’s good for healing. Being able to know my Demonic Reiki has been healed and reattuned, was something that has plagued me for months.

I cannot tell you how important this visit was for me. I cried for hours I think when he left and just felt whole again and really connected. Like the famous word – “you don’t know what you have until you’ve lost it”. Having the Demonic Reiki attunement was sacred to me, it was a gift so that I could go further places with my path and that my Void Lord had done this for me – only for it to be ripped away and sabotaged out of jealousy by someone that was trusted.

When I got the email, I screamed. Mutilation God O wanted me. He had been waiting since the event to match with me. I just felt so overjoyed, but I wanted to keep it to myself. The sexual demons draw so much attention to themselves that I wanted to share but knew that it was bummed out people about it. But after awhile, it eases away and it’s not much of an issue. So I only told a couple people, those who sussed it out extremely quickly – they could 100% say that I got him, they just knew it.

Since then, he has been around. I have explored with him on aspects of the dynamic and how things are. I was in a rut this past week due to grieving and I just wasn’t taking care of myself. Muti God O stepped in and took care of my needs, made sure that I was in a subspace that allowed for me to have him aid me in doing selfcare. Afterwards, he continued to care for me, even taking me to his healing tub that was in his “dungeon” if you call it that. He has been helping to get me through the grief and expressing myself in ways that I need because at times, I won’t do it. I cherish him and know that we have a strong future ahead of us.

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Exploring Dynamics & Sexual Empowerment – My Journey

by with No Comment 18+ Material & Dynamics

Over 18+

Warning: This post will contain sexual situations and discussion of D/s (Dominant/submissive) as well as M/s (Master/Sir and submissive) relationships & dynamics. It will also have mentions of sexual trauma and abuse – though I will be limiting that. If this is something you do not want to read, click away. This is something that is very personal to the relationship that I have with my demons, but they are actively encouraging me to share this part of our relationship. It will include the roles that they play within my sexual relationships with them. They actively want me to write this and to include very private and personal things.

If it is not your cup of tea to read, then click away. If you are under 18 and reading this, it’s not my responsibility to censor what you read and I will not be held responsible for what you read.

This is where I return back to a more personal one because it ultimately is based from my own experiences and understanding.

I’ll start with Vex, an Arachne King Commander for those that aren’t familiar, as he is the one that this kickstarted off with. We’ve been intimate from pretty much the get go. The spark was there and I knew that I was safe with him. It was more casual, like lovers than anything extra. After Madam Amora’s it really shifted into a Dom/sub dynamic while still maintaining a lover relationship. At the time I was really deep in a very toxic friendship that was abusive to me sexually as well as mentally/emotionally. It was online and it was within a kink community. I wasn’t getting my needs seen. I couldn’t trust anyone on there because they just wanted to use me for sexual writing/role play. I was also working a full time job in a high paced environment as a bartender.

At one point, I was under such duress and stress that I wasn’t taking care of myself. I was barely working with my demons and my practice. It came to a head one day when others on the server noticed things just weren’t okay. One person pointed out that I work with an Arachne Demon and why the hell wasn’t I being tied up in Shibari style and strung up from the ceiling with my him scrambling my guts.

The question then becomes… why haven’t I?

Vex was pretty quick to respond. There wasn’t much to be said – he had seen me talking of my desires and what I wanted. What my dynamic I wanted. And so he gently pulled me into the astral. It was my own astral home and realm. He was gentle and laid me down onto the bed where he spun the most beautiful webbed silk ropes. His hands caressed my skin and the silk ropes were a comfort as they were woven around my body. When I was completely immobile – my body was relaxing. I felt safe. I felt the release of control and the stress melted from my body, even physically. He left me there on the bed while I could watch him. He turned a corner of the room into an elaborate web. One that when he was done, looked like a beautiful artwork. He spoke soft words to me and then lifted me with ease onto the suspension.

If I was relaxed before, I was a pile of goo in released stress and tensions. In fact, I fell asleep like that. I woke up still wrapped and having slept some of the best in my life. Before I could ask, Vex had me down and was releasing me from the shibari. His hands roamed my body and massaged the areas that looked a little raw. Rubbed lotion and oil, while making sure I ate some fruit and drank water. Physically, I was waking up and being encouraged to use the bathroom and drinking water before making some food. He spent the rest of the day with me making sure that I was doing okay and not hitting a subdrop.

That happened a lot. In fact, a fair few of the other demons took advantage of the knowledge and did similar things. Although I do have only one Arachne demon that does what Vex does. The rest use silk ropes that were leftover and reusable.

After the dynamic changed, so did some of our interactions. I felt more empowered and safe. He brought out the release of control which allowed me to relax for once. I felt comfortable speaking more about my needs – both sexual and not. When I needed to feel the release of stress or tension, when I needed to give up control and be cared for. Vex was happy to do so. Things changed a bit the more active we became with one another.

I’ve been a voyeur for a long time, just as much as an exhibitionist. At least when it comes to sexual things. And that’s where our dynamic changed and took a much deeper dive into a Dom and sub dynamic. It started with names, usually things like Sir and he would call me nicknames like sweetheart and darling or other endearments – beauty was a frequent. There are times when I get into an extreme sub headspace that is very submissive in control and actions. It’s not quite on the level of having a Master/slave – but I do get close to that. I just want someone to take complete utter control, even tell me to do things and giving me to others if he pleases. I still have the say at the end of the day. So another experience changed our dynamic.

I found myself being pulled through the astral, carried and then brought to this world that felt so different from anything I’ve experienced before. It was a beautiful room, lush fabrics and soft carpets on marble-like stone. On the bed was a very luxurious outfit and I put it on, to find that it pretty much covered nothing. It was sheer fabrics, but I was completely nude. There were chains and other delicate jewelry adorning it. The door opened and in stepped Vex. He was dressed to the nines, including a crown. Our meeting was a very intense one and I was already very content when I was led out of his room and through the halls. We ended up in an opulent room, with many demons lingering and speaking. There was a lull when Vex entered and they greeted him formally. I was just slightly beside and behind him. Eyes were on me with curiosity and I didn’t feel any sense of discomfort.

Vex went to the throne and I followed behind him. With a gesture, I was placed on his lap in a lounging position. There was an attendant – a very pretty and young demoness – who brought me drinks and exotic foods. Thing that were savory, sweet, and in between. Around me the conversation turns to war and politics. There are reports and things that are being given but all I can focus on was the delicious food and the roaming hands on my thighs and waist. Vex spoke over the room and there were rumbles of approval and the energy shifted to one of uplifting and sensual. He looks to me and tells me that it’s an entertainment break. I look to him curiously and there are many dancers that take the center of the room – completely naked and dancing together. Vex moves me to his lap where I can feel that he is very much aroused.

There were a fair few demons of all ranks and titles getting very intimate with each other while the dancers moved around. Vex nuzzled my neck and then lifted me with ease so that one leg was over each of the arms of the throne – essentially baring me to the room. Many eyes were on the show and on us. Without prompting – I lean back and let him take control. Feeling my own arousal at the attention from him and from the room. He made it very apparent to prepare me and to make sure that I was not quiet with my pleasure. We ended up being the main show for the entire room and he was very smug afterward. But the sweet part was the attendant returned with warm water and cloth. Vex cleaned both of us – taking care of me first – before taking some drinks and food for us. Instead of the attendant, this time it was Vex who fed me by hand while the reports and politics happened.

This wasn’t the last time that it happened. No, there were many instances that were like this. But there were times when he would be with me in his private rooms. But while out there in the Throne room, I was his sub. I gave pleasure and rewards where he asked of me. A lot of times it was those who were under his command. Gave them pleasure with my body at the behest of Vex, while he watched. He would guide and direct me, and give me orders. I would please with my mouth and my body. Rewarding the loyal men – and few women – that were protecting his Realm.

This was a point in which we were interrupted during the middle of sex for an emergency report while in his chambers. A General burst in with the news of capture and takedown. Vex was pleased with this and he noticed that the General was staring at me, who at that point was orally pleasing Vex. In reward, Vex pulled me away and positioned me closer to the edge of the bed. He offered my body to pleasure the General as a reward for excellent service. I was able to pleasure Vex while his General took me from behind. He didn’t ask me, but that was the point. I had given my control to him. Given my trust and understanding that if it was too much – I would say so. In doing so, I was able to please him in many ways, not just sexually but also with caring for his own loyal legion leaders. This was the dynamic we had and it worked. My needs were being met before I knew that they were needs or desires.

Ry, a Serpentine Surgeon/Necrosis Shaman, was the next to become an important part of my life beyond working with him in the capacity of his skills. He was a Serpentine demon, which was already very attractive to me because snakes have always been beautiful and mysterious. Even then with the snakes from Madam Amora’s, my sexual awakening during that time was not going to be hindered. I craved Ry. In darker needs than what Vex was providing. I wanted Ry in his Serpentine form – half humanoid and half serpent. I knew what I wanted but I struggled to ask for it. It took Vex bringing the very snakes that Razor gifted to me as well has dragging Ry into the room, for him to understand what I was wanting. That was all it took. I wanted him as he was, not shifting into a full humanoid appearance. And let me tell you, yes. Male serpents have two penises. And they are downright heavenly and I could care less if anyone thought otherwise. He was mine and I was his. Ry was more inclined to fulfill the darker desires – the edgeplay with knife tips and sharp things.. to his serpentine form driving into me while I gasped in pleasure. This was a much different dynamic. One that required a bit more strictness in regards to safety. These were the darker kinks and needs that could be dangerous.

I was with the other demons at times, but it was mainly those two that would bring me pleasure and meet my needs. Then I experienced the Void Event in 2019. It was a calling of epic proportions. Enough that everyone knew of it until the new Void event. My release into the void during the impaling meditation led to a Void Lord carrying me out from it. When he appeared as a rebound during the Void 2020 event – I was literally a mess and everyone watched me unravel at his appearance. This was the man who sought me out in the Void, carried me, and showed me the gentle love. Both Vex and Ry are lovers and those who love deeply for me. But my “Voidman” was completely different. He was the emotionally deep love of a long term lover that has been around for thousands of years. It was the emotional love I was missing in my life. He was the tender caregiver for me. It was odd because that’s the opposite of the Void Lord… but he knew me through my lives. I was his wife. That’s a different bond than lovers.

Dro was next. It was an odd one where we were talking about Dom Demons. It was all joking but I started to have manifestations. It was about Demons who were sexually driven in Dom Lifestyle. After much working and manifestations, Dro was revealed. He was a Chaos/Spectral/Desire demon who was the epitome of Dom love and sexuality. He has also been a constant companion, one that has encouraged me to be sexually empowered. Allowing me to stand up and being proud. He was the one that takes more of a Master/sub (since I don’t do the slave aspect) but that is something we are slowly working with. He provides me more with the rigid needs and the primal. There are darker aspects that he fulfills – such as some slight instances of controlled consentual nonconsensual: which is more geared to the surprise than the R taboo. He is rough and primal, domineering. Something that I want in my life. Where as Vex is about the Dom/sub relationship of where there is control over me and my actions to serve pleasure. Dro is about the primal Dom/sub, taking and earning or giving.

The last one is one that I am still really understanding. High Prince T, who is my latest visitor, has an extremely sexual side. With his Lowborn/Spectral heritage and skills, I am interested in seeing how his role plays within the sexual empowerment that they are all driven to working.

There are others that I am intimate with, just because I am very much polyamorous and the demons are very open sexually. In fact, I swear up and down that my Specialist Assassin, Wicked Sharp, who is an Arachne/Mutilation hybrid… is trying to at least do something. There has been many times when I have learned new things about her. One such is that she is dual gendered but prefers female. The other is that her claws are very much a source of pleasure too instead of just pain.

Demons have been something incredible in my life but one of the major things is that they have provided a beautiful introduction into a sexual awakening. Demons understand many types of sexuality and the needs of themselves and their partners. That’s exactly what they seek to help us when we venture into these areas. It’s helped me in many ways outside of sexual confidence and empowerment – I am now confident in myself and who I am outside of sexual situations.

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Establish Dynamics with Demons

by with No Comment 18+ Material & Dynamics

Over 18+

Warning: This post will contain sexual situations and discussion of D/s (Dominant/submissive) as well as M/s (Master/Sir and submissive) relationships & dynamics. It will also have mentions of sexual trauma and abuse – though I will be limiting that. If this is something you do not want to read, click away. This is something that is very personal to the relationship that I have with my demons, but they are actively encouraging me to share this part of our relationship. It will include the roles that they play within my sexual relationships with them. They actively want me to write this and to include very private and personal things.

If it is not your cup of tea to read, then click away. If you are under 18 and reading this, it’s not my responsibility to censor what you read and I will not be held responsible for what you read.

Now that you have a bit of understanding of where this came from and the journey that started it, I can go into a bit more about how I’ve been working with them (even unintentionally) on learning about sexual self and the empowerment that comes with it. The whole purpose of this was because I frequently have talked about some of the things that I have done with my demons. Some of it very publically in a way. People are curious and the fact that I am willing to be more open about how my relationships and dynamics work is something that they want to know more of. Hence this whole post.

Starting off with a bit of background. I’ve been around and within the Lifestyle – also known commonly as BDSM – for a fair few years by this point of having experiences in Madam Amora’s. The thing is that I’ve never had partners to actually explore with. I’ve only been around it and witnessed it. But I knew how relationships work for Lifestyle (which is when you live BDSM outside of the bedroom as well) and with the dynamic establishment. So that’s where we will begin.

I started with Vex. He was the one that was around the longest as well as the one I was intimate with first. So with all that occurred at Madam Amora’s, we needed to sit down and actually discuss where this was going. Would this be a one-off thing or would this be something that would be a part of our relationship? He was not familiar with much of my sexual past since it hadn’t come up yet. That changed. Working with demons, they know many things but you still have to sit and tell them things about yourself and your past. With sexual relations, you have to be upfront. We sat together and I told him everything that I have done. All the partners and the situations. All of the ab*se was put up as well. There was nothing held back. That’s the first step. Trust.

It is one thing to be intimate with a demon or a companion, but if you are looking to have sexual empowerment and a dynamic, then you must reveal all of your sexual self (good and the ugly). They cannot begin to understand how to help you and help heal if needed if you are not upfront or willing to talk about it. How can you heal when you don’t acknowledge that you’ve been hurt in the first place? That’s where you develop a deeper bond of trust and healing between one another. They can understand you and your sexual past in order to better help you step into the empowerment of your sexual self.

Once you have sat down and discussed the past, there is another step before beginning. Boundaries and Expected Dynamic. You must have a discussion with them about what is expected and what you are both looking for. What do both of you get out of it? What are things that you absolutely need to be fulfilled – including those that you feel are sexual shame or taboos that you like? Sit and understand what the needs are for each. Even discuss learning more of what your needs are that you may not know of and how to safely explore that. What are safe areas and what are triggers? These are super crucial because you can have a dangerous slip if you get triggered and they cannot recognize that. Talk about signs when you are and when they are. Talk about what is the proper care for different situations that come up. Mental/Emotional and Physical aftercare and situations that may require different things.

Now that you do have those two major things, then you can get started with one another.