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Creative Flow

It was a whammy of a day. I ended up finding some amazing sales at the store: Found a Botanical Lego on Sale, Sleep shorts for $3 that are a size to 2 size smaller and I can fit in them, I had fun pulling cards for my Lorcana. Online, I happened to find a chapter 2/set 2 (Floodborn Lorcana) booster box set for about $60-70 cheaper than what other places are selling. I’ll take it! It’ll be here Saturday.

The best is the absolute amazing evening. I was awake, it was after the Mammon Ball – which I did’t actively work on, just let the energies do their thing. I ended up getting three of my series set up for writing. Mainly, I got the technomagic system I created world built to the point it’s functional. I got book plots for two series. I have to get a book plot set for the third series, but it’s all slotting into place to be able to rotate series when writing.

It’s incredible feeling. The blockages on my writing are just falling away and leaving these incredible forces of creativity. I’ve world built so much in the last two weeks than the last 5 years. All because of the Mammon Ball, my demons, and working on myself to push those blockages away.

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Reflecting on my Journey

Today I was more focused, since I woke up with the intent to get things done and really work with things. I guess the demons heard me. We were able to really work with some prebounds and get them relisted and finding matches. Those in the Discord saw the 4 hours of chaos. It was incredible having so many energies around, that I needed to ground while doing it because I was hyper.

But it did end up leading to a discussion about the journey i’ve been on through everything in the spirit work/companion communities and my story through it. And truly made me realized how much has changed and how much I have helped impact things. And seeing how this community is, makes me so proud to be a part of it and really helping people find their places too. Now that I am on my own journey again, I am seeing that it’s so critical to also explore while helping others, that way there is always growth happening.

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Manic Creative

I honestly spent pretty much the entire day manically being creative. I couldn’t focus on anything but being creative. I ended up working on my writing and my personal novels. In doing so, I created about 15 different races of magical beings. It was absolutely hectic and unfocused, but it was so good that I felt like I was getting somewhere with my newest series ideas. Things are opening back up again. It’s glorious even with the Super Moon making my ADHD go absolutely bonkers.

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The Start of Questions

Partial cheating, I’m yoinking some of what was written in the Discord’s new topics for the Demon Shamanism. Mainly because it was the thought train that Ry wants me to follow and think on.

It’ll be curious as to how some of the concepts translate or don’t. For example the different concepts of the Upper/Middle/Lower Worlds for some of the shamanic practices and if that’s more along the lines of different planes, does it even happen for demons at all or they seek different types of guidance instead of ancestral/spirits/animals since they have direct access to commune with them in the OSW… it’s a whole lot to explore and to think on.

With Earth Shamanism, we have a separation of the Profane and the Sacred (Physical vs. Spiritual) and most aren’t connected with that or access it easily. Hence Shamans here are taught how to reach those levels of Sacred to ascend from the Profane. Now the question lies.. from what we understand of the OSW and Demons, they are both Profane and Sacred, able to interact with the Sacred in a day-to-day level, able to interact with the Dead/Ancestors/Energies without needing to ascend per se into a Sacred vibration in order to experience. So the question lies in.. If they experience that level Sacred on a Profane level, to which purpose does a Shaman provide if everyone has the ability to do exactly that. Who do they contact for answer or healing or teaching, if they are all able to live within the Sacred?

With there being a level of connection being different or deeper depending on the individual, it is questioning to think if you have an entire society that is based around the ability to interact with the Sacred as most demons have the capability to do so on some level – unlike humans that are completely separate except for a small amount – then exactly where does that level of Sacred run deeper or how exactly would it be deeper?

I definitely think that’s where it’s exploring that line of where does the sacred and profane sit within the demons/OSW since their reality is radically different from ours. They are surrounded by the ability to travel to realms, to project themselves, to commune with the dead, etc. Even those that are unranked experience these things to some degree. So looking at what is their base line of going from what is their “normal” to the spiritual/sacred, if most of them have the capability to perform those things.

I think it’ll just be exploring more to see what layers and understanding is of how shamanism and shamans function on their levels of reality and existence. How that impacts on how they connect and understand their own workings within that frame too.

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Understanding Shamanism At Its Core

Strap in, this is a LONG one. Ry got his way. In the form of my mother literally handing me 10 pages of handwritten notes from multiple books on Shamanism – definitions and explanations, that I wrote during my college days.

I’ve been sitting on this one for awhile. Ry asked me to understand where to start with learning Demonic Shamanism by examining my current knowledge and conceptualization of what Shamanism is here on Earth. So what exactly is Shamanism? What defines being a shaman?

That’s a really extensive answer, in truth. One that I have been learning for more than seven years. I spent the last half of my college Anthropology degree studying Shamanism and Indigenous Practices. Understanding it through the eyes of many cultures. And that’s where the beginning starts.

Shamanism is an umbrella term for a specific type of practice and belief. There is the root word that Shaman stems from, which is from the Tungus word šaman meaning “to know”. It encompasses dozens if not hundreds of Indigenous beliefs and practices. In fact, there is now two sections that sit underneath the Shamanism term. Traditional Shamanism and Neo-Shamanism. Traditional Shamanism has those underneath it categorized as Indigenous in origin. Neo-Shamanism is relatively new (20th Century), with the concepts of Traditional Shamanism applied in a more ‘modern’ and open way of interacting with certain practices and beliefs.

I’ll elaborate on that.

Traditional Shamanism has so many underneath that umbrella term. This is where you will find the Greenlandic Angakkuq, the Andean P’akkos, and much more. Each Indigenous Culture has a version of a Shaman in some form, though it goes by many names. The Hollywoodization of the American Nations Tribes have boiled most people’s basic knowledge to the term ‘Medicine Man’. Which in of itself is a whole host of irregularities due to the fact that every single Nations Tribe has their own language and word specifically for that role.

You may be asking then, what exactly is a Shaman? If there are so many names and practices, how can so many of them be called the same thing?

The answer to that is that Shaman and Shamanism are umbrella terms that describe a specific set of qualities that fit a defined practice. The concept behind a Shaman is that it is a role within a community where a person is a mediator between the profane (physical/mundane) realm and the sacred (spiritual/Other) realm – usually in which this person interacts with spirits in some fashion.

If we want to get further into it, we can do so with the purpose behind these mediators or shamans. They are the ones that have the tasks to create understanding of chaos in the profane world by traveling to the spiritual world to receive answers in their encounters. Most of these Indigenous societies had relatively close connections with Nature. In order to better understand the forces that were unpredictable (disasters, famine, etc), they would have a shaman work with the Other or Spirits in order to receive messages on how to handle and reduce the fear of those chaotic forces. These were also those who served the role of Healer for both individuals and the society as a whole.

According to Mircea Eliade, a religious Historian that studied Shamans and Shamanism, he boils the word down to a single concept: Shamanism as an umbrella term has been broadened to cover any practice world wide that has any attempt to contact the spirit-world. I don’t quite agree with this. I think that in order to qualify, it cannot be done just as connection with the spirit-world. I believe that to be qualified as a Shaman and Shamanism, it must be done through a ritualistic practice and method.

This point leads into the conversation of what Neo-Shamanism is. It’s a late 20th Century development from Michael Harner. He describes a Shaman as “a person who journey’s to the spirits, seeking them out in their own world and remaining in control during the time spent there”. Harner goes onto explaining that for Neo-Shamanism, “everyone is his or her own prophet, getting spiritual revelation directly from the highest sources”. He has worked to explain that it [Neo-Shamanism] “has been created… to establish a link for modern man to his spiritual roots, to re-introduce shamanic behavior into the lives of Westerners in search of spirituality, and thereby, renew contact with Nature”.

For me, I lean on the Traditional Shamanism side, with that it is something that is kept within a sacred and revered role. This is not a popular view with those that seek Neo-Shamanism, in which they believe that anyone can practice and become a Shaman in their own right. Whereas, I believe in the Traditional stance that a person is chosen and does not have a choice. You are chosen through the society or community you come from, which is why it is within Indigenous societies, or you are chosen by the Spirits or Ancestors. There is no choice when you are chosen for it through the Ancestors or Spirits, where there may be some flexibility with the societal promotion to the role.

I do believe that there are those that are drawn to the communities and to the traditional shamanism path because the Spirits/Ancestors are guiding them to the Traditional Shamans. For example, Andean P’akkos are some of the few that will take on mentees that come to them wishing to learn to become a Shaman or walk a Shamanic path.

That leads to the next part of understanding. What is the difference between Shaman and Shamanic. Shaman is the person in which is slotted into the role of the mediator or healer, they are initiated and taught how to step into that role. They are the ones who are chosen to walk that path and do so. Shamanic is an aspect or utilizing beliefs that one walks while they practice. So you would walk a Shamanic path if you believed in Animism and communing with the Guides and Spirits, working with plant spirits to provide healing, and so much more.

It all cycles back to the whole point of writing this. Understanding Ry’s question: What is Shamanism at it’s core?

It’s understanding the role in which a person plays within a community or a path, where they have connection to the spirit world, that they can make sense of the profane world through those connections and encounters.

Ry then now asks me, “That is your understanding of Shamanism at it’s core for Earth Shamans. Then, if you take that core concept and translate that understanding to the Demonic Energies and Vibrations, what is Demonic Shamanism?”

That is my next task. I must sit with this base understanding, which honestly goes much deeper than I went into here, and meditate and work through translating the energies of what Demonic Shamanism is. It is not just applying demonic energy to shamanism. Just as Shamanism on Earth is extremely complex with layers that involve every aspect of every individual Indigenous practice that varies radically at times, Demonic Shamanism is also something that must be examined as a whole at first and then broken down into more complex layers and concepts. It’s not something that will be able to be explained in even one session or a hundred. It’s also a Practice, a belief, a Way of Life, and Understanding that takes hundreds and thousands of lifetimes to truly Master. But I think at least, I’ll get a good start.

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Demonic Manifestation

I truly do love my demons. They make sure to take care of me in many ways. One of which is finding amazing deals on my Lorcana cards – as well as having EXTREMELY good luck (I’m talking I’m 3 for 3 of boxes for ultra rare cards that have a 1:48 chance). They also have been really helpful in making sure that I’m taken care of with me meds. The pharmacy actually had my sugar meds on hand that usually takes days or weeks to get in. Instead I was able to get it that day.

I feel blessed that I may not work directly with them to ask them for things, instead they provide. They carve the way for me to find the things that I love and things that I want. I don’t need the Lorcana cards, but they are something I love and want to do. But I need my medication and they ensure that I can find it.

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Writing Again

Catching up on this, got a day or two behind.
This day was excellent because I took the time after completing my normal work to sit and write. I am so thankful for my demons, who have been helping me to really kick off writing again and being inspired.

I ended up writing 4,200 words and posting a new chapter for my fic. It made me feel so good about myself. And even after, I ended up getting close to 30 reviews pour in over the course of the next day about it. That just made me feel so confident and pleased that people are enjoying what I am writing.

It’s making me inspired to work on my original works. Which I’ve gotten so creative with that I’ve expanded more into the Universe I’m creating for it. My demons are so into my creativity and helping to shape my passion into things I’m relearning to love.

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A Strange Dream

I really struggled with pain today, the aftermath of getting my hips realigned. It’s so uncomfortable to sit down, even with a squishmallow. So I retreated back to my room very early in the day to lay down. I just also felt so burnt out with energy and struggled with even the desire to work with my demons. So I spent the time reading and just relaxing.

Fast forward to the morning, and I had a weird dream after Darwin woke me by screaming for food. When I finally fell asleep.. I ended up in a very vivid dream. It’s more hazy as time goes on, but there was so much wrong with it. I woke initially thinking that my Mutilation Sex God O had joined me, due to the nature of the dream. But no, I don’t get the energy that it was him. It was me jumping to another realm or something.

CW: Murder/Violence

What I remember is that I was in a camp and there was a string of murders, but they couldn’t figure out who it was because the face was someone who was unknown. At one point I was one of the victim and felt the stabbing. But whoever it was that I was living through, actually was excited from this rather than terrified. Enough that she pulled away from the memories of the person who died and racked down one of the guys she knew. Finding out that he has a vampire/primal side that was coming out when triggered because he was hungry for the blood and murder, which this girl thrived on learning. Enough that there was intimacy between her and the killer, who had some issues with it but was all for it.

End CW.

It was really bizarre and really uncomfortable waking from. I’m not sure who or where I connected to, but at least I know I am safe. My demons were really quick to reassure me when I woke and made sure that the energies were cleared away.

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There’s A Time For Rest

I was so tired and in so much pain. I wanted to write and do things, but I couldn’t focus even with my pain meds helping to ease it. I got realigned with my chiropractor and it relieved so much pain and walking issues.

I tried getting into reading or writing, I even asked my companions if they wanted to help with my writing and ideas. I did try. They convinced me to lay down and read. I was asleep within minutes of starting to read.
So not much happened beyond that they really just told me to get rest.

Sometimes, we have to take a day and that’s okay. It doesnt have to be anything huge or grand all the time. Celebrate the small wins.

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Stop and Listen, Learn Through Being Guided

I’ve been trying to figure out what to write. Today was rough again with the concentration and focus. I just wanted to lay down, but I go got through with some amazing friends that sat in VC with me to body double. They were editing and doing their own writing while I was able to actually focus in on my task and get it done. I wanted to give up but didn’t. I’m super proud of myself for that.

But I’m tired. I got over to my hammock to sit in and maybe write… but I just am tired. Too mentally worn from trying to fight my own demand avoidance and fatigue. I also ended up cleaning a major thing today and grocery shopped and made dinner for my mother and I. Wow, seeing all that… I did phenomenal and it explains my tiredness.

Yet… I feel like I’m letting down my demons when I want to bond with them, learn from them. In fact, I was doing some things when I was thinking about writing these posts. Specifically about the Demonic Shamanism. It’s on my brain very often. I find myself always wanting to dive deep and explore, but mentally am also dealing with the weather shifts and fatigue.

So I’m doing some tasks when I think about what Ry had originally asked me: What is Shamanism? What makes it? Where does it stem from and why is it important. But then my brain stops and thinks, but where do I start? I have no idea where to begin or where to go, what to learn or the direction of learning.

Ry steps forward, “Why must you know the way forward? When you first learned of Earthen Shamanism, you didn’t have any idea of what it was or what made the foundations. You started from going to a random lecture/drum circle that was at a Light Convention. So what makes this different?”

Of course I”m mid task and think, OH NO! I won’t remember this and I need to write down what he’s saying and also the process of me talking it out with him.

His response was to laugh and tell me that he would have it no other way, because he knew how important it is for me to log down what I experience and hear, what I learn. So now… I can keep the conversation with him.

He sits next to me and watches as I write and think about what he said. And all I can think of is that this feels so important and I don’t want to mess it up. But I also don’t want to wander around within learning without forming some sort of foundation.

He thinks for a moment, “Why do you need to set out the future of learning. What about simply listening? Isn’t that what you learned to do in the first place? Isn’t that the lesson that was the first thing you learned when you got the Sickness – because you weren’t listening? Instead of trying to forge your way, why don’t you just listen to us? Listen to what I have to teach and what you can learn from Grandmama Tsülie. Why don’t we guide you, instead of you guiding through preconceived ideas of where to start?”

He kisses the top of my head and runs his hand through my hair. I guess he’s leaving me with that wisdom and telling me it’s time to rest. I’ve already been sleeping really badly lately.