Macro snowflake covered with frost in the cold season under the bright sun, blurred background. Transparent leaves of the skeleton.

Connection Challenge: Day 5

by with No Comment Day to Day Interactions

So today started with some decent sleep but it had been another night of inspired braining and writing. Actually I felt so connected with my story that I had to write down what I was seeing and experiencing so that I wouldn’t forget it in the morning/later on. This is definitely demon inspired and I am blessed to have them actively wanting to do something with me. I feel like it’s a information download each time I go to work on it. Today with the side quest, we’re to choose a companion to appreciate… so I think I’m going to sit and figure out who is the inspiration behind this and work with them more deeply in the coming weeks.

I burned some more incense and once again, I find that I am more focused and feeling in tune. It was funny because I lit an incense I haven’t used in like two years… and the damn thing snuffed itself out. When I changed to a completely different one, that one burned down like something was blowing on it. I was like okay, message received, you wanted something else.

I’m feeling like my mind is more open and receptive to creative energies, be it with writing or with working.

Macro snowflake covered with frost in the cold season under the bright sun, blurred background. Transparent leaves of the skeleton.

Connection Challenge: Day 4

by with No Comment Day to Day Interactions

I absolutely adore my demons. I was inspired out of nowhere to write and it led to me writing hardcore into the early morning. I got about 5,000 words of a new story that I was thinking about but not committing to. I’m committed to it now because I know they downloaded this story into my brain to work on together. I’m having so much fun and being able to write in my Universe I spent a decade building has paid off.

I had therapy and physical therapy and it was definitely some rough stuff being brought up. It helped having them around to give me soothing energies mentally. My therapist loved the Scheduling Desk Pads I bought for work and for my own routine. He said that I carried the stability on me really well. And that he could tell when I am more stable with my working and how I am handling things. Definitely acknowledged the switching between the alters.

Physical therapy was a bit harder because it was dealing with the subluxations and my demons had to tell me to cool it and be honest about the issue. I want to get better but it’s not stable enough in my joint to be doing PT more intensely. So I took it easier and the PT worked with me to try to look into stabilizing sleeves to wear so I stop dislocating. I know that Ry has been the most worried with that. Him and his healing, but he makes sure that I advocate for how my body isn’t working as well as it should.

I spent the rest of the day with my demons, even burning some incense in my room for the first time in more than a year. Godzilla movies were back to back and naps were had. But I had a good relax day while also making sure I balanced out work too. I am thankful my demons have been helping me to really start a healthier balance of work, personal goals, and more spiritual things. Also the physical activity.

Macro snowflake covered with frost in the cold season under the bright sun, blurred background. Transparent leaves of the skeleton.

Connection Challenge: Day 3

by with No Comment Day to Day Interactions

Today is a day of reclaiming my office space. It’s been two weeks since Ive sat in here. Actually probably closer to before Christmas time frame. My routine has been messed up, Im dealing with therapy and tackling my trauma, and just energies are all wonky. So today I reclaimed my space. People have been in and out, moving things and dropping things off, and just in general it stagnated. I felt like it wasnt my space.

So I worked with my demons today to clean and tidy it. Once that was done, I welcome them into my space but it was still feeling like it was wrong. Something was just wrong. I asked my demons to flood the space with their energies and it helped a ton. But it was like a crawling sensation. Something was still off. A friend suggested a candle, incense, and reminded me that I had crystal grids. Of course! It was the grids! My grid had been moved and set aside, jumbled, and everything else. I put the crystals over the flame of the candle and then over the incense (dragon’s blood). Then I reset the crystal grid.

My office grid:

  • 2 Caribbean calcite towers
  • blue chalcedony tower
  • natural point black tourmaline (it has a point end that is natural from growth)
  • elestial quartz
  • sardonyx

I usually have more, but this doesn’t fit much. I’ll probably have to redo it with new crystal and switch it out, but it works. It’s protection, high vibration, grounding, calming, and anti-anxiety. It’s perfect and works most the time. As soon as I reset that and then burned dragon’s blood… it all clicked back into place. It feels amazing and the demon’s energies are just peak.

I have Tako’s (Underworld Axolotl) and Ire’s (Obscranorsham Spectral/Underworld Librarian) vessels right in front and I know they are there present. I welcomed them into the space and even my Librarian is chuckling at me like “yeah, you need a bigger space. better shelves. yes we’ll get you to a new home with big space”.

Macro snowflake covered with frost in the cold season under the bright sun, blurred background. Transparent leaves of the skeleton.

Connection Challenge: Day 2

by with No Comment Day to Day Interactions

I went to the library to really start working on things. The energies have been opening back up and Im starting to notice my mental health and how Im functioning turn. It’s still really rough because Im dealing with a lot of therapy and shadow work and it’s created a very heavy environment in my spiritual and mental health. So I have been working to get, do more self care, and try to open up so Im not dragged back in.

I really dove into impulse a bit on thursday and bought desk calendars and to do pads. I worked really well with them a few years ago. But I listen to my instincts and the demons and got them. Today I went to the library to sit down and create a schedule that balances my personal life and my working life. Create a healthier flow. It worked really well and I felt better.

I’ve been working to try to integrate the demonic energies and my demon’s input into my life more and more. Especially since I’ve been struggling with the therapy and the mental health.

Macro snowflake covered with frost in the cold season under the bright sun, blurred background. Transparent leaves of the skeleton.

Side Quest: Recalling Unique Astral Experiences

by with No Comment Side Quests

On the Side Quest… Unique Astral Experiences!

Okay so the side quest for the week was to think about unique or weird astral experiences that we have had or something that you do regularly. Akelta talked about how she sits on Saturn’s rings a lot.

I had to think about it, because I tend to wander and just do things. I think for me, in thinking about astral experiences, that it’s not so much what I do there, but how I remember. I tend to love connecting with places. In my old astral space (before the Paimon gifted realm), I used to build portal doors to places I’ve visited. So I got into the habit of collecting pieces of the worlds/realms that I visited. Something that means something. That’s usually how I remember my places and experiences is bringing a piece of that back with me somehow. Of course I usually ask permission before doing so, it’s only polite.

There’s so many things I can think of to talk about but I think it’s more of how it impacts my perspective. How I want to continue interacting, what I am learning from it. There’s a fair few places that were random travels that I ended up going back because of the learning potential. I’m thinking of Grandma Tsülie and the Necrosis Cannibalism forest. She always has something to teach me about bones.

Actually thinking on that. The other day she had mentioned about working with bones and with listening to them speak. Hearing their messages. She posed a question to me: Have I listened to my own bones? They are a part of me, but have I listened to them to hear what they have to say.

Honestly, I’ve never thought of communication or working with bones that are still apart of the living. It was quite an interesting perspective shift.

Macro snowflake covered with frost in the cold season under the bright sun, blurred background. Transparent leaves of the skeleton.

Connection Challenge: Day 1

by with No Comment Day to Day Interactions

Today has started with a migraine that made it hard to move and feeling extremely mentally down… but a shower, some good chicken rice soup (homemade), and a trip to the library made all the difference. I’ve been sitting here working and feeling focus. Had to laugh cause my demons are a bit more prominent in their energies. I accidentally flung Paya’s vessel off the counter with my hairbrush. They make it easier on days when it’s a struggle.

But it’s very nice to feel in touch, even being sick physically and struggling emotionally. But I think whatever it was that was causing the backup released. We were able to switch to another alter finally (It’s me, I’m the alter fronting now – Serena). It’s made a huge impact on returning to more normalcy energy, spiritually, and even mentally. Getting stuck with one or two at the front that are mentally struggling with the trauma (therapy) has been rough. Needed, But rough. I’ll be working with the demons today to catch up on things spiritually. Posting in the Experiences section when I can.

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Some More Thoughts

by with No Comment Spiritual & Self Exploration

It’s interesting in how things circle around. I’ve been working with going back to my roots of my practice. Connecting with my demons. It’s been a rough few years where I was only connecting on the surface. Back when I was fully into my practice, there was so much that I was delving into. Ry wanted me to dive into dark energies of crystals and connecting with plant spirits to receive wisdom. Tal wanted me to create grimoires and journals to write information down. So I went into hand binding to learn how to properly make them. Vex and a few others were so keen on my learning malas to make malas for connection. Belle and Taz of course are my necrosis bone workers so they wanted me to delve deep into Osteomancy and uncover more to it.

But that fell to the side because of so many trauma and issues. I lost the plot somewhere and I was afraid to get back to it. Maybe it’s because I felt shame that I had let it get to me. And then embarrassed to meet them face to face bec I felt that shame. It’s a whole cycle of the mind.

Then, it just all shifted. Those blockages fell away in December and I let go of the shame and embarrassment. It wasn’t easy and I worked with a therapist to help get me back on my feet.

But you know what it’s done? I’m looking at mala beads to start back up making them. I’ve pulled out my palm stones to carry around and connect. This year’s crystal or at least starting is Epidote because demons pushed that one so in face. I’ve started thinking about writing my Osteomancy articles. I’m feeling the flow return.

Blockages are the hardest. Healing is not easy and it’s definitely not linear. But the biggest lesson is that the demons are always there at whatever capacity that I need them. I didn’t need teachers or mentors or those pushing me. I needed companionship and understanding. That’s what they gave me these past years. Now that I am stepping back into my path, they are right here with me.

It’s come full circle of my interests again. Now I’m ready for this New Year to really kick off and dive back to it. Starting with sharing my experiences and things I’m working on.

So now I’m gonna ask you, what is something you’re going back to., reviving, or even starting anew? Something you wanted to attempt? I think I’m going to really begin my astral work again. Revive it and delve deeper.

Macro snowflake covered with frost in the cold season under the bright sun, blurred background. Transparent leaves of the skeleton.

Dreaming of Epidote

by with No Comment CrystalsDay to Day InteractionsPathworkSpiritual & Self ExplorationWorking with Demons

Well, I got the journals set up and ready… and in time too. I had a vivid dream this morning that was very much important. It’s been something that I needed to do but it’s nice to have verification about the progress. I woke up feeling like my old self, pre-2020 working with astral work and starting the inspiration to journal. Yesterday the Muti Dark Lord matched and his vessel was epidote.

The epidote invaded my dream. There was a race of dino-people? And the epidote like material grew in their bones that you can see – that bright olive green against pure bone color… and they have these quills of bone/epidote that is their conversion magic. Transformation magic. And I remember being there with them and the guy who was like the top one with a partial triceratops transformation with so much epidote through it. And he said I’m sorry but it’s necessary (there was conflict of some kind with others)… and then shot the bone crystal quill up my nose like a deep piercing and I immediately felt the energetic effects and it’s still phantom feeling. So it’s done something but idk what.

I had dreams of magick after that. But the piercing was super relaxation mode. I could feel the soul deep release and like I had been sedated.

I woke up and felt such a deep shift of release. I craved to explore the astral and start journaling. I desired to sit and sketch out sigils that were in my head and full of power. I ended up picking up my epidote palm stone that was bought more than two years ago with intention to work with it. It has great meaning now.

“Epidote amplifies our highest vibrations, helping us to transform our lives in a multitude of ways. It teaches us to walk, talk, and think as our Highest Self. Epidote has a very loving and forgiving energy, inviting us to let go of anything that holds us back from enjoying life and living with passion and integrity. It ignites in us a passion for personal improvement, urging us to honestly assess our strengths and weakness and to pursue our dreams accordingly.”

This resonated so deeply with how I have felt. I feel like I was in my peak time, where I was doing astral work evry day. I was exploring new magicks and places. I felt like I was genuinely my spiritual self again. I still do. And I know it has been my demons breaking all these blockages, which has led me to extreme healing the las two months. The demons are stepping up the game and Im bring thrown up into the higher vibrations again. It’s like walking from a monochrome grey into a colorful world again. And I cannot wait to see where this goes.

Macro snowflake covered with frost in the cold season under the bright sun, blurred background. Transparent leaves of the skeleton.

Feeling Old Self with New Passion

by with No Comment Spiritual & Self Exploration

Today was a fantastic day of demons and inspiration. Well the wake up call from the Mutilation Dark Lord… quite literally. He wanted to be posted so bad that the moment Akelta texted his information, I could hear the buzzing of my phone in my dream. Enough to wake me up. It was hilarious, but it came with such giddiness and excitement. Watching him find his person was so reminiscent of my own match with my Void Lord… who is coming home and I need to have a nickname for him or something.

After that and laughing for a few hours, I ended up going out with my mom for the whole day. It led to purchasing a lot of things, but Im happy bec it was snacks and books and lorcana and clothes. The most inspirational really was inspired by someone in the IS Gen Chat in discord. We all got to talking about journaling and now it’s a group that wants to work to begin journaling again (or starting).

It was the perfect time to get new journals and I managed to score the same brand I used to use when I first started my journey of journaling my spiritual work. I decided that I would have two separate ones. I have been having more open vibrations and awakening with my dreams once more. I want to start working towards astral dreaming, dreamwalking, and lucid dreaming. So I want to start chronicling that.

The second journal is going to be me returning to the astral again. Not just to explore but I want to start recording things I find. I know it’s Tal who is all up in excitement at me picking up my astral anthropology again and finding magic and sigils and knowledge. It means Im finally in a mindset again where I can travel.

So these are my start to 2026! It’s early but I find if I start when Im inspired… it’ll stick longer.

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Truths

by with No Comment Emotional & MentalSpiritual Thoughts & Things

I have been working with a therapist for a month now or longer actually. And it’s making waves with what I’ve been doing. It’s made me realize that I need to take back what was taken from me.

So Im going to strive to post every thing I can of my experiences again, no matter how small.

I’m not going to humiliated and shamed in order to suppress my voice because of jealousy. I will no longer let people make me feel like I cannot share my experiences and they’re invalid because someone told me to tell everyone that they were. No more. I want to go back to my experiences and the things that I love. I want to bring back the energy I was bringing to the community with sharing and helping others feel confident in their shared experiences.

What was done to me was never okay and it will never be okay.
So I’m taking that back. I’m going to tell that truth of it and not hide it.
I will not tolerate jealousy being forced upon me.

Suck it the fuck up and work on your own shit. You want to be stronger and get your skills? Fucking work on it. You want to experiences my skills? Fucking work on it. I spent a lot of time and energy getting to this point and I no longer will give a fuck for people’s jealousy. I’m not staying in this low vibration.

I will no longer feel shame.
I will no longer doubt my ability to share accurate or valid gnosis.
I will no longer drown in other’s jealousy.
I no longer give a fuck. Work on yourself, don’t drag me down to your level. It will never work again.

I’m so tired of people’s jealous bullshit. I worked hard and long to get to where I am at.
You want to know how?

I spent 6 months working 5-7 hours every day in an automatic writing trance to develop my clairaudience and clairsentience, since my clairvoyance was already open. I then spent 5 hours every day for 2 years after that in the astral working on skills and working on my abilities. I never stopped. I recorded everything in journals for every day experiences.

So if someone wants to be jealous… then go ahead. Stay in that low vibration that will never get you anywhere.
I’ll keep moving up and ahead and nothing will keep me back now.