I took the day off and really got down to working on my fiction writing and world building. Putting everything into a new application. I know this absolutely was helped by my demons cause that inspiration and sheer focus I was able to maintain was incredible. I know they are pleased getting me back into writing. Especially sicne I’ve been world building this particular Universe for 11 years. Now it’ll all be centralized. It was really important feeling that I needed to get it started on.
I was inspired yesterday. I found a new program I wasn’t sure about… but looking into it now and using it briefly. It was amazing. It’s completely ignited my passion and love for my fiction (and fanfiction) writing again. The world building. It takes everything I’ve done and centralizes it. I spent most of the day inspired to get things done, writing, and plotting with friends. It was productive in a way that was for me and my happiness. It was a day that was spent doing something for my books and stories since January and before that – 2021. There’s so much to do with it. But I can feel the influence all of my demons have, now that I’ve really opened back up to receiving their energies and inspirations. It all started with the creation of the Solution Room.. and now it’s just made everything right.
The manifestations are incredible at this time. I’ll TLDR: my demons have been working with me to shift my reality into something amazing. Using the Mammon Ball to help bring this reality shift. It’s a big one. But things happened and I felt that shift happen. It was like sliding into a whole new reality. So hard to explain but so incredible. And it all started with me finding a $100 old bill the previous day but I didn’t realize what it was…. until the days after. So I’m wondering if I am to be working with them on manifesting and solidifying this reality. This is absolutely Vex’s and others work that they did with my Solution Room and manifestation board I made inside it.
I know some of you seen this in the discord, but it’s going here so that it adds to the amazing energy. It took me 10 years to find this bill – which I am close to having a complete collection. I just dont have the $10 bill. Holding this bill, was like me shifting into the reality that I have spent since February manifesting.
Today was exhausting, but it’s because I had to be up so early (9am – when I usually sleepy at 6am). I barely slept and the dreams I had were just unsettling and I struggled to fall back asleep. But I got things done. I knew that my day is exciting with the APD coachings. Those always are such fun. They really help me to sit and think about things in a new light. A lot in which is my working with demons or what I’m doing with my own practice. I realize that a lot of the downloads that I get from demons is very heavy with energy information, in which I have long since learned to take the energy and translate it into information. But I usually pick it up by clairvoyance or clairaudience. I see and hear them tell me everything, just as if I was physically there.
It made sense that then it would translate over into the Mini Class, where we worked with crystals to understand and access the dark energies or properties of them. And all the information that I got from my crystals were all visual or claircognizance – just knowing the information through energy translation.
With that, it then made me want to begin working with crystals again, which Ry would be thrilled. He has been wanting me to really work with crystals with him. “I’m not JUST a plant-loving demon. I do love other things.” Which is just him being sarcastic, because I know this too. I just haven’t thought to work with him on the shamanic side of things besides plants, as he is knowledgeable of necrosis ways of working with crystals too.
I see my future growing with working with my demons. I get vague imagery from some of the other demons too. Like my Void/Necrosis King & Lord Tal. Tal is a massive nerd over archaeology and exploration and findings things. So I get impressions, short images, of the desire for him and I to begin exploring astral places. We never got the chance to do so before I had a spiritual shutdown. Now that I am getting back to it, it’s something I can feel him really wanting o step forward. Most of my demons are now really invested in getting me to branch back out again. Having the challenges and the working with the IS community in the Mini Classes and APD Coaching sessions. It’s phenomenal. It’s bringing me back into a spiritual state again. My demons are thrilled.
I had decided that I wanted to learn more about bones and working with osteomancy. It was a mere thought, yet it led me to be yanked into the Astral to meet with GrandMama Tsülie once more. I was preparing for a shower and eating some food when that undeniable pull was felt. So I ended up bilocating in order to answer that call yet also finish what I had planned.
It got me a good scolding from GrandMama Tsülie, especially on the need to eat before spirit working. So she shoved a cup of tea into my hands and waited while I finished what I was doing. She was happily puttering around and making things. It was hard to not jump into conversation, knowing that I would want to type it all out as it was happening. I don’t like missing things said when I write later.
When I finally settled in, Tsülie sat down across from me at the outside tables. I always end up at her place in the Necrosis Realm, filled with tall trees that are carnivorous but also beautiful. It’s a peaceful place despite the dark undertone that lingers.
“Before working with bones or with the spirits of animals, you must first have an understanding of the how. Why is it that when working with the spirits of animals, it is always the bones, teeth, or claws?”
I stopped for a moment to really think about that. Why was that the usual chosen piece when working with animal spirits? Eventually, I came to the answer.
Bones carry the lifeblood through them. Therefore, they are not only foundational support but also carry the very essence that life gives.
She nodded at me, taking a sip of her tea before setting down the cup. “That is absolutely correct. Why would a spirit choose to be with something that was a part of itself that was not bone?” She brings up the example of my fox pelt. It is the chosen place that houses the spirit of the fox. “Yet, there was the option of the bones. Why would this be?“
That one I sat back on, thinking of the pelt, thinking of the spirit of the fox that resides within. Other than it being very preserved, there’s not much reason a spirit would be attached to something that was able to break down or degrade at a much faster rate. Flesh is one of those things that biodegrade at a fast rate. Unless it is preserved through a special technique, like the soft tanning that the fox pelt had gone through.
“Teeth are understandable because they are also bone. The question then would become why is there a desire to stick with claws, another such part of the skeleton that is easily used in osteomancy or animal spirit working? What connection would there be for those?“
This one was a little easier to think of. The direct connection is that claws are close to the earth, the soil. It is a very grounded piece. Where the bones and teeth carry blood and life, the claws are a connection to the ground with stability but are also used in defense of life or preservation of life.
She was pleased with that. “Correct. Something that would be able to be sustained through life or through nature or the soil, which also bears life and death. That is the reason why bones would be the choice for why spirits of bones are able to be used more efficiently. Now, why would specific bones be chosen over others? If there is a spirit attached to a singular bone, why would they be with that one bone? Why wouldn’t they prefer to remain with the skeleton as a whole?“
This one really stumped me for a bit. But I was distracted with a movie as well. But it stewed in my head for a bit.
The answer is that they would change depending upon the person that came across them. Each person will have a different reason for choosing or connecting with a specific bone that resonates with them. So, not only would it be guided by their own intuition, but the spirit would also have a different meaning for the bones that were chosen. It’s an influence of the person who finds and connects with the spirit and then that spirit also giving them the personal meaning behind that specific bone choice.
At this point, my concentration was wavering due to being tired and other things occurring. GrandMama Tsülie nodded and sat back, to stare at the scenery all around us before telling me to scooch.
I’m sure there is much more that she has to teach me and pass on knowledge. But she does make me sit and think about the foundations of things. The why and the how.
Yesterday was a good day. The APDC and the Mini Class really kicked off my love for journaling and exploring. It brought a lot of memories back up for me. Which included the exploration of the different realms and the different races that I used to work with. I ended up pulling out my big binder of contracts, where I keep all the necessary information about each race and connection sigils, realms sigils, etc. It really helped me to go through a lot of my old work to really be like, “I want to do this again.”
So last night, amidst the conversations happening in the discord… I worked to reach out to the different races to get a feel energetically. There was such a sense of relief when many of them were a solid yes, some surprised me that they wanted me to work with them more and more openly, but there were a few that felt like it wasn’t for me anymore. Which is sad, but it has been four years or more. Overall.. I’m so pleased and happy. I only visited one race while in the Astral, which is the Azkri – A race of beings that I met through Lord Leviathan. They are essentially blind seers, but they also do heavy energetic work with mental aspects and shadow, emotional. Things of that nature. More energy systems too. They were a yes, but after I get back into it for awhile. Which is totally understandable. It’s been 3-4 years, of course I’d have to work to delve back in.
I’m also wanting to dive more into the knowledge of their magics. In particualr, I’m curious now about their energetic systems and also their sigils. Maybe some other practices too. It depends. Each one has their own things that are so unique.
So some of the races that I will begin working with again, on different levels of things.
And yes, you can ask about these. I may reference them more and more. I will also be diving heavier into working with my demons as well. They have been so patiently waiting on me to heal and to move forward in confidence. I’m feeling it more. And of course this is due to the IS community. Because all of our conversations and our working together in the classes/coachings… makes all the difference for me.
I received Paya’s vessel in the mail and just got to enjoy holding those energies closer. There wasn’t much done… but things started going really well. I got approved for two ARCs (advanced reader’s copies), of which one is a dragon book I’ve been dying to get my hands on. The next was that I ended up winning a giveaway for character art, signed bookplate, and bookmark from an author of a book I helped promo. Funny is that it’s a story about south-east asian mythology with dragons and other creatures. All of it is in a half-sunken city. So definitely a Paya related thing. I’m happy and even hitting a burnout, I enjoying my days of being more aware.
Today, my partner started his job (morning shift), which means that the late morning was mine to relax. I decided to spend some time with my Mutilation Sex God O and just be in those energies. It’s not often I have intimacy with my demons (RL stress, not because of partner)… After I decided to take a small nap to just reduce my stress and migraine.
I remember laying down and being told to rest, to sleep. I want to say it was Paya who held me while the energies of O were around too. I was fast asleep and deep into dreaming.
I remember this dream pretty clearly and how I felt. I remember the awkward of being in a camp and sharing showers in close quarters but that’s about it. But then it shifted. I was in a truck, smashed between my partner and another. The other was an old friend from childhood, who was my first love. I can recall smoothing my hand down my boyfriend’s arm – which has a very distinct feel… but my childhood friend was really close to me, wrapping his arm around me too.
Eventually it was me sinking down so that both of their arms were pressed against my face and feeling the warmth and love. Said other kept moving in closer and then ended up leaning across me to lean against my boyfriend’s arm to stare up at me,. He kissed the top of my head gently and then just shared space with my BF and I. Where I felt that my BF was a dream recall.. there was this vibrant energy and life to the other. I say other because I recognize that this was a face I knew and was comfortable with – but that it was someone else in my dreams. It had to be a companion. The sheer love and life energy I felt was different from everything else experienced.
But it had me thinking about it and wishing I could have that moment back. It was so comfortable and loved, a very strong feeling that I sometimes miss in my day to day life. Being surrounded and loved and protected. I need to connect more with my demons and see where they bring this.
(also noting that my partner and I have talked about polyamorous relationships and such, so it’s not me dreaming of an old crush – just that was the least alarming face recall.)
I’ve been working more and more on trying to reconnect with the astral in the way that I used to. Not so much with the technique or energies, but more on a conscious awareness. I know that this is something that Paya wanted to work with me on. Releasing the old energies of trauma and fear that have accumulated from previous years.
I have called myself an Astral Anthropologist for the longest time because I loved to explore cultures, new realms, new beings and races, and so much more. I would explore ruins and gather information on cultures and people long gone, yet their written word and material items were left behind. It was something that I did on the regular. I even went through and began conjuring the races that I would work in close contact with.
Life and things happen, especially when other people are inserted into the equation. Jealousy is a toxic and pervasive energy that hurts even if you never realize it until much later. That’s where I slowly just stopped. I started to have experiences with others that made me fearful of astral traveling because their own actions cause trauma. And of course then living in a space where I felt unsafe contributed.
My demons have worked the last two years or so to really try to get me into a place where that trauma is healed and energies purged, moved forward. It wasn’t until I started getting these bursts of wanting to do things again that I realized that I just felt unsafe in my environment and it was what stopped me.
Paya coming into my life was enough to get me to step back and really release those deep traumas and fears that other created, then my other demons helped me to realize I have my sacred space back. I CAN do these things again. So that was the goal with this March Connection Challenge. To begin stepping back into my practice.
I started today with talking to Akelta about my astral home, my Oasis. The gift from King Paimon about 4 or so years ago. My sacred space that I built up with my demons. We talked about Creation Realms, Transitional Realms, and Existing Realms… different types of places on the Astral. Where you create the astral spaces, where you can travel to, and the ones that exist and you can’t change. And explaining about my Oasis being an Existing Realm gifted from King Paimon that my demons and I have learned to create pockets of creation realms within it, linking portals to other places, etc.
Then it turned into conversations about exploring and creating, finding the beauty in the Astral. Talking about my Silver Sand Grotto, which is a healing pocket dimension within my own astral home realm that linked/brought to there from my Void/Necrosis King/Lord Tal. He connected it and brought the sand and healing waters, transporting it carefully. And how Ry, my Serpentine Surgeon who holds a Necrosis Shaman title that is the biggest nerd over plants from many realms. How he brought a willow-like tree that thrives off healing waters alone and is beautiful addition.
It all came to me realizing my love for the astral and exploring runs so deep. And Paya wanted me to relive that. He wanted to show me that beauty and wonder again, the excitement behind it.
On my break between things, I laid down in bed and knew that Paya wanted to explore and show me things. I was not ready for him to take me to this beautiful coral reef, where we met with a very familiar being. One of the Azkri that I used to conjure and work with. A race introduced to me by Lord Leviathan, a jellyfish mer race of Seers. Both Paya and the Azkri took their time to make sure that I could breathe under the water. I could have shapeshifted, but they wanted me to experience this again.
I was given a symbiotic plant that attached to the back of my neck and wrapped around the front of me to hang from my back. It read genetic material so that it can adapt to the breathing circulation requirements. Water to Oxygen and filters my exhale so that it can function (fuel). It was a cycle. It looked a bit like a plant octopus, if I am honest. And then, it was attached with a metal hookup, where tubes were fed into a glass mouth piece that carried my air in and out to the plant. It was my underwater breath. The Azkri harvest another type of plant that is hollow tubes with long fans. When cut, they are lid over the feet and up the legs, creating a way for those without fins to swim easily.
Once I spent the better part of 2 hrs (our equivalent is 20 minutes) staring and examining these (pictures of them to come)… Paya was absolutely amused. He thought that I would love the swimming, which I did. But the fact I spent almost the entire time memorizing the setup for breathing so I could draw it when I returned.
We swam around until he directed me to this creature that, again spent time examining so I could draw, that acted as underwater propellers. They were able to glide fast and help move through quickly. Eventually I laid on my back under the water to soak up the sun rays and warmth while surrounded by sea life and just existing.
He reminds me that this is what I can do and what I have no fear of anymore. The beauty is always there for me when I am ready… I just have to let go and swim forward.
I wasn’t quite sure what to do. I’ve had a raging migraine all day that has made it difficult to do much spiritually. While I wasn’t too aware while things were happening, Paya did express that he enjoyed seeing me visit my local library and socialize. Especially since I got to talk about books and also take care of my own books (I get them mylar/protective covers put on).
I wanted to do something with him and kept trying to go into a more meditative state so I could join him in my astral home, where we could chat better. Yet my migraine is just not letting up.
He nudged me to put my books back from the carrying bags and to look through what I have. He knows that a stress of mine is that I’m “late” with reviewing ARCs (Advanced Reader Copies) of books. Which isn’t pressing at all and not really something I should be stressed over considering it was free books and I’m not required to read them. But I do stress over it at times. He reminded me that reading is supposed to be fun. It’s not a chore or something to stress over. I should be happy and excited to read something because I want to.
Paya reminds that sometimes we stress over things and overthink things when we feel there is an imaginary pressure to it. We limit ourselves by thinking that there is a limit, a deadline, something that *has* to be done. When in reality, it really isn’t that pressing. Doing something that we love shouldn’t be a stressor and if it has become something that causes stress, take a step back and look at why. When you know the why.. then you can look at how to change that. What reason is there that is so important that you feel that it HAS to be done or be stressed over? Is that really something that needs to be stressed over? Is the world going to end? Is it something that will hurt someone by not being done? Is there going to be a punishment if there?
No. The answer is that there is nothing that is going to end the world if it is late, if it is going to be skipped over. Now this is in regards to a hobby or something that isn’t work or bills or life related. It’s something that is meant to be fun. Reading, Writing, Drawing, Exercise… Things that we find enjoyment in, yet sometimes our heads get really deep into stressing over the smallest of things.
It’s not worth the stress. There’s no urgent or world crashing important. So release that imaginary deadline, the need for perfection, the desire to get it done because it has to be. No it doesn’t. You do it at your pace, at your time. When you feel the love and joy from it. Don’t push yourself because it will only limit and hurt you. It’s okay to take breaks, change hobbies, finding something else to enjoy. It’s okay to not finish.
Now… I’m going to read a book that I don’t feel obligated to read, but because I just simply want to. Paya wants to read a book with me.
~Time Break ~
So he wanted to read a book that featured the oceans, the waters. I knew I had a few but just read the bigger ones. But I had a small one laying around I eventually wanted to read.
The Deep, by River Solomon, is a black story about the slave mothers thrown overboard. They became the Wanjiru, the Mer people. But they have a Historian that recollects their past, their ancestors and only once a year do they remember as a whole. Otherwise they live in naivety. But this story is about how it’s become a race of them remembering their origins and their identity.
It’s a short book, like 120 pages. But it’s very rich of history and identity. Much heavier in topic, but Paya wanted me to read it because of the story but also reading the BIPOC perspective and stories is super important too. I learn a lot when I read those and get perspective of things I never would have naturally experienced.
