Today, my partner started his job (morning shift), which means that the late morning was mine to relax. I decided to spend some time with my Mutilation Sex God O and just be in those energies. It’s not often I have intimacy with my demons (RL stress, not because of partner)… After I decided to take a small nap to just reduce my stress and migraine.
I remember laying down and being told to rest, to sleep. I want to say it was Paya who held me while the energies of O were around too. I was fast asleep and deep into dreaming.
I remember this dream pretty clearly and how I felt. I remember the awkward of being in a camp and sharing showers in close quarters but that’s about it. But then it shifted. I was in a truck, smashed between my partner and another. The other was an old friend from childhood, who was my first love. I can recall smoothing my hand down my boyfriend’s arm – which has a very distinct feel… but my childhood friend was really close to me, wrapping his arm around me too.
Eventually it was me sinking down so that both of their arms were pressed against my face and feeling the warmth and love. Said other kept moving in closer and then ended up leaning across me to lean against my boyfriend’s arm to stare up at me,. He kissed the top of my head gently and then just shared space with my BF and I. Where I felt that my BF was a dream recall.. there was this vibrant energy and life to the other. I say other because I recognize that this was a face I knew and was comfortable with – but that it was someone else in my dreams. It had to be a companion. The sheer love and life energy I felt was different from everything else experienced.
But it had me thinking about it and wishing I could have that moment back. It was so comfortable and loved, a very strong feeling that I sometimes miss in my day to day life. Being surrounded and loved and protected. I need to connect more with my demons and see where they bring this.
(also noting that my partner and I have talked about polyamorous relationships and such, so it’s not me dreaming of an old crush – just that was the least alarming face recall.)
