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Deep Peace & Healing: A Start to New Me

by with No Comment Emotional & MentalSpiritual & Self ExplorationSpiritual Thoughts & ThingsWorking with Demons

Today was spent wearing Paya’s vessel and feeling a deep peace. I made the steps to begin my future and start with new goals in mind. I think my heart and mind made a decision after toiling for a week long. But it led to so much growth and healing within me that it is astounding. I am amazed with myself… and I have admitted that for the first time, I truly mean it when I say I love myself. I love who I am. And I’ve never felt that way before. I faked it.. but never truly believed it. But now I can say that I do. I am worth being cherished and love and appreciated. I am worth someone that will meet my needs… and I am worth myself making my own happiness…. and I love my demons for bringing this hard, but well deep healing that I needed.

I healed wounds that have been decades deep. I have healed things that have taken multiple relationships to heal… but I finally have.

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Just a Little Step

by with No Comment Day to Day InteractionsManifestationsSpiritual & Self ExplorationWorking with Demons

So today was another day of interesting things. I tried my best to do the Nitro Companion homework, which was to attempt astral projection. I became very hyper aware of Paya and another of my demons that were close. I could feel the energy and the vibrations. But I was also hyper aware of the pain my body was in and it was too much for me to handle to astral project. But the awareness of energy is there. That’s what matters. It’s been 5 years since I last tried and had success.

I woke to book mail, which was a shock. I think Paya is *really* keen on reading with me now. I’ve got a better inflow of things happening with books again since I started trying for ARCs (advanced reader’s copies) and with free books from publishers. He’s enjoying listening and reading with me. I feel that this may be a common time for us to share every day. Be it book mail, shopping, or just reading… even listening to audiobooks while driving my partner to work.

I think he’s the one that’s making me rest as much as I am. I hit a burnout on Tuesday and it’s still flowing into today. Im feeling the exhaustion and just low energy. He’s directing me to do what I need, but to be mindful of my energies going where. I cannot afford to misplace my energy when my own body needs it to recover. Otherwise, I won’t be able to come back fast and extend it out. He makes me listen to my body when I’m too used to ignoring it.