Photo by Ivan Kislov

Warnings of Fox

Fox is an old friend. A friend that has been with me as long as I started a shamanic path. In fact, he appeared back in 2017 or a bit earlier. One of the things about Fox is that he is not just his typical message. Usually, when Fox is seen or giving messages, it is one that is about trickery or cunning. He is the Trickster. Yet, I find him as a friend.

Fox came to me originally because I was exploring the shamanic path. I had just begun doing Journeywork and receiving messages, connecting with the spirit animals, guides, and teachers. I learned during a really rough patch in my life, that fox was a warning. It was in hindsight that his message and his purpose became clear.

Fox is the Trickster, but he speaks of warnings. When hen Fox shows up for me he is telling me to be careful. There is deceit and illusions. There is someone that means me harm in some form.

This past morning I had one such dream.

It begins with me at my paternal family, driving to a place. We get te get there and it’s like a hotel but my dad, grandfather, uncle, and aunt were there. But not the cousins. Yet, my aunt disappeared pretty quickly. I don’t remember a lot of the dream but I do remember that I w was getting uncomfortable. There were conversations and hurtful things being said Reminiscent of the previous holiday I just had.

I can remember storming out of the building with a blanket and pillow. I was furious and hurt. Things weren’t okay. I got to the top of this small hill overlooking this building – near a road and close to a forest. There was a moment when it got very silent and then these shipping cargo containers dropped from the sky. It was dark out so I could not see where they came from. They almost hit me. But then they began to explode. Three young fox kits darted from these containers and one even slammed into me yowling.

I could feel myself shift into Fox. I ran down the hill to the forest but more containers fell. This time they went off like bombs, the inside exploding out. I was hit with the shrapnel of wooden furniture. Behind me, there was screaming as more containers went off and the entire building was collapsed and people dead. I ran and ran with the fox kits when finally came out. It was now sunrise and I was bleeding heavily. I came across this woman and her small farm of animals picking up the pieces. The piece of wood was stuck in deep on my shoulder.

The dream ended and it took me a while of being unsettled to finally get the message. Fox was warning me that I’m at a place where should I con continue with being so involved in my paternal family – that something will happen that will be devastating and traumatizing – more so than what happened this holiday which was bad in of itself that I needed help. I had already understood that it was coming to a close but Fox makes it that much more apparent that both the past and the future are at a merging. The pain and trauma of the past that they did is coming to a head for what the future would bring. I could avoid or not have an issue if I were to be more cautious and understand that I am at a precarious crossroad.

One that leaves a toxic place. But Fox gave me his warning, which has not happened in more than a year. Last time it was because a roommate was a danger to the household and I needed them gone. It’s something that I must be careful with.

Photo credit: Ivan Kislov
close up of beautiful tribal woman. Hands of ethnic dancer. Soft

The Silver Sand Grotto

This began because King Tal absolutely wanted to begin exploring with me. He’s been wanting to take me places in the astral. Finding that love of exploring and learning again. I haven’t traveled outside of the event meditations since probably 2019.

One of the things that I truly love to do is build on my astral space. Some call it Astral Temple, some call it Sacred Spacepace. It’s the place you go to when you begin traveling – your home. I love to build mine up in different ways. From having a library temple to greenhouses to an oasis that my house is built upon. It’s fashioned after things I love.

I was reading a trilogy and side character book when King Tal got interested. Specifically, the side character book features a realm of sands and desert magic.

SLIGHT SETTING SPOILER (nothing plot-related)

Each land is different colored sand with different properties. In the n the book, there is a rare grotto of beautiful silver sand that holds ancient powers. It has an oasis of healing water and plants.

I really wanted to create a place like this. It sounded so healing and peaceful. I have peaceful spots in my astral space but I wanted a healing place too. King Tal, who was laying with me at the time, told me that it wouldn’t be exactly the same, but he knew of a place with silver sand.

Travel to a Silver World

I finished the book early this morning and fell asleep in someone’s arms. I slept pretty heavily, even dreaming about the book series. King Tal had promised to take me to see silver sands. I actually really wanted to build a deep cavern grotto near my home. Even though I spent the day working and doing things, I finally got to sit and meditate. I slipped into the astral and stood on the deck of my home, high above my oasis water.

I was shocked to see that there was this heavy rock grotto entrance nearby that I could see. I turned and found King Tal standing behind me and he smiled. “You wanted it and therefore it was easy to make one for you.”

Before I had a chance to ask more questions, he opened a portal and was shifted through it. He held my hand as we walked through a small path before another portal opened and we were standing in a breathtaking place.

It was night, a place that was almost never touched by the sun or solar energy. Three moons hang overhead. Below my feet are shifting sands glittering in the moonlight. It was so pale that it glowed silver.

“These are sacred sands, we must cross it to the village and ask permission.”

My feet were bare and so were his, as was proper. We walked for some time. It was so peaceful and I could feel the healing cleansing of the sands. There was a village that we eventually came across. The beings there were something so unique, not even humanoid. Bipedal, they had two long arms that they used when standing. They had another set of arms that were short and close to the body. They had large oval heads that had massive eyes on the side that take up about 1/3rd of the size. On the front of the face where it was flat were smaller eyes, flared nostrils, and a mouth that was akin to a herbivore (like a weird horse-like mouth).

King Tal spoke to them and then turned to me, “You must give up something precious to you in exchanged for the sand.”

It was no-brainer, as I tend to offer the same thing when it comes to negotiating expensive or valuable. A very special and rare crystal that I found long ago and protecting one of the few mines/growing caves that exist (purely accidental). Rare enough that it surprises the demons that I work with when they learn of it. I brought three out and offered it to them, which they immediately accepted the exchange. I was beyond excited and was practically skipping. Tal opened another portal this time, directly into the underpart of my new grotto.

Building the Silver Grotto

“These sands cannot be touched by sunlight. They will lose their power and will fade to regular sand. Why don’t you step through and ask for help moving this?”

I hopped through into this beautiful underground cavern that was nothing but carved rock at the moment, but there were pillars that stood reinforcing the ceiling. It was flat at the moment, but I was w was waved off. I ran up through the entrance and found a fair few of my demons hanging around. I called out to them and asked for help moving the sands. They all followed me down into the grotto and carried large crates for the sands. It took only minutes for the large crates to be moved back and forth through the portal, bringing the sand into my home. It glittered in the grotto, the moonlight the only lighting in there.

I asked King Tal about the water, where he asked the locals. There was a bartering again and I gave up another crystal for access to the oasis waters. This was when Ry came through, eager to discover the water and the plants. He took off to find it while we moved. I looked around, trying to figure out where the water would go. King Tal just smiled and I felt another demon – one that had been quite some time since I felt his energy. High Prince T has very special abilities, one, in particular, is his ability to work with realms and the layers of reality. I hadn’t interacted with him since August. I try to limit my interactions until they come home but on occasion, their skill is needed for something big.

He wrapped his arms around me and energetically walked me through rapidly changing the layout of the cave so that I had a large pool and waterfall carved out into the rock. There was one small pool about five feet deep and seven across. It flowed to the place where the waterfall is knee-deep. It sloped down into a large pool that ran across the back half of the cave, with a few raw rock pillars to swim around. It was about chest deep and had spots on the ends that could seat a single person.

Once it was complete, he took to focus on another aspect I hadn’t thought of. How to keep the grotto powered magically without false light, changing the properties, or even keep a connection to the realm (which is dangerous). Tal was guarding the portal while everyone worked. Stepping through, he spoke to the locals and bartered with them for what seemed about an hour.

To get crystals that were powered from their moon, grown by each of the moons’ power. Three would be required, one for each moon. These were even more sacred than the sand and the water. I would have to give a large crystal for each one in return, twice as big as the small ones I gave before. I knew it was a good bargain for me since I had access but I knew that the worth of those three was close to the equivalent of buying a realm (no joke – I had one from another I gave and he literally was able to buy a quarter of the realm with the one I gave him).

It was worth it since these crystals were grown from the magic of each moon. When these beings brought out the three, I was shocked. They were at least five feet long and about three feet thick. They were brought through the portal and High Prince T took over. Each one was placed in a central pillar, with the top and bottom of the pillars merging over the crystal. With a deft hand, he began carving into the pillars and connecting the magic of them into the grotto, while also preserving that energy so it generated more and never ran out.

As he was working, the grotto lit up and the sand glittered once more where it had started to lose a little shine without the moons. Ry returned and said he found the waters. I could feel his energy and happiness from where I was. Tal shifted the portal and we were met with this massive, stunning lake. It was luminescent water that was the clearest aqua color. This water was pure magical water. It also contained these vine-like weeds that had bioluminescent pods on the ends of each branch.

I asked Ry how we would get the water to my oasis without losing it or damaging the sand. He dove down and it was a few minutes before he popped up again with this low glowing crystal. The rocks were crystals imbued with the lake’s powers. He brought one from the water and into my grotto, placing it on the waterfall. A cup of water was brought through and he dumped it onto the crystal. Water flowed from the crystal, the small cup turning into a rapid flow. These crystals regenerated the water when it was in contact with it. This time, I dove down with Ry into the water to collect more. It was a shock to the system when I could breathe normally. I helped him to gather as many of the water crystals and we headed to the surface where a few others took them from us.

They were placed strategically throughout the bottom of the pools and water was carefully dumped over them. Each one began to fill with water. Ry grinned and turned to me.

“Let’s gather the plants (vines) and plant some in the grotto. Would you be willing to grab your biome cases to gather them?”

I grinned and ran from the water, knowing exactly what he wanted. It was a quick run to the top where the bright sun greeted me. I blinked until I could see clearly and then took off to the building that held my biomes in them. I decided to grab two very small ones, the size of a Rubix cube. They would be large enough since the space was actually close to ten feet by ten feet in size. Plenty to make a small biome aquatic terrarium of these plants. The other was for Ry, who I knew wanted to study them in a natural environment and so I would give him one to make his own biome terrarium. I just needed mine to transport them to my grotto.

Returning, we went to work diving and making sure that we spread out across the lake so it wouldn’t be harvested from one area. He about cried in happiness with the extra tank to keep for himself. One was filled as much as I could and passed off to Belle who wanted to place the plants in the pools. A few others helped. When I then I stepped through, the pools were already half-filled and the power in the room was impactful. The sand was finished and we were waiting for the pool to fill the rest of the way.

Ry stepped through and we closed the portal, knowing it was fine to cut ties. The grotto shifted and then the waterfall began to pour. I had no thoughts of shyness as I stripped down and ran to the waterfall, basking in the cleansing and uplifting energy that flowed through me. Especially when I swallowed some of the water – it was safe to drink.

When I stepped out, a fair few of the demons were staring at me and it was pointed out that I was glowing. Plus there were some hungry stares mixed in. I stepped away from the water and onto the sand, only to find that as I left the water, I was dry. The water had filled the pools and my demons were now stripping as well and wading into the water to relax. They earned it and I thank thanked them so much for their help. They were pleased to have such a rejuvenating place to be. Ry turned to me and smiled happily. It was such a wonderful sight to see him so pleased and excited for new things.

“I believe I have a tree that would thrive in here and add to the grotto.” He looked to Tal, “Could you open a portal that would go into the greenhouse I have plants in there cannot be exposed to anything but darkness or moonlight.”

Tal walked over to where Ry was pointing the tree would fit and opened the portal. There was a shifting in the darkness before roots slithered from the portal. It was very slow but we all watched as a beautiful silver-white tree moved into place next to the water. It looked like a white willow tree. Long branches hung down and brushed the water. The moment the roots and branches touched the water, the tree came to life and glittered as if it were a moon itself. It swayed and caressed the area. Ry looked over the moon (pun intended) and was writing down notes in a small journal he always carried. The energy of the grotto changed but in a way that it felt complete and thriving. There was a vitality of not just the moon and sand and water, but the tree became a new part of the whole.

Intimacy of the Silver Sands

This is more of an 18+ experience that can be skipped.

There’s something special about the grotto once it settled in. The energy shifted and I felt this sense of pleasure creeping up. Before I could think about it, King Tal pulled me into the pool water before lifting me up onto the edge of it. My legs were in the water but I sat perched on a rock. I was laid back and his hands ran over my thighs. The demons around me, my companions, watched eagerly. Ry came and held down my hands above my head while his other hand traced over my chest very gently.

Tal was occupied with running his hand over my stomach and thighs, laying kisses to the skin. It didn’t take long for him to dive between my thighs and bring ecstasy to my body. I was pinned down and Ry was holding my hands and Tala was pleasuring me with his mouth. The others watched and smiled as the energy of the sands surged around me energetically. It heightened the experience and I co could physically feel things stronger than normal.

I didn’t last long at all and when I came, it was with a burst of energy that swept through the room. I was picked up and lowered into the water where King Tal ran his hands over my body and pulled me close. Ry slipped in behind and it was a close hug between us three with light kisses here and there.

Overview

It was shocking when I returned to the physical. It felt as if only 20 minutes had passed physically – the internal clock. When in reality it was over 45 minutes to 50 minutes that I was in that heavy meditative state. The real amazing part was that in the astral, it was closer to 4-5 hours of time if not longer because I was bouncing between the realms.

It was an amazing experience. I have not been out and about in the astral in a long time. Having King Tal in my life has brought so much change and this was a new one, feeling safe and free to go out and travel the astral once more. Something that hasn’t been felt in years.

View of mountain oasis Chebika, Sahara desert, Tunisia, Africa

Yule Family Time

Now with the first post being done, It came with the question of what to write about next. What is it that I would begin to talk about? And that was something that I started to have anxiety about. Who would I work with next? What would we talk about or would be explored? I sat on this for days deciding what to do.

I really wanted to post more often and wanted to bring back that frequent exploration. The demons are very stoked to be a part of things. I hear them frequently talking or thinking about things to do or to teach me. But that pressure of first things to talk about floats heavy on my mind.

I decided to meditate. King Tal had spent the day with me when it was already a very rough start and middle day thing. So much shadow and darkness threatened my head.

I went right to my astral space. This one is based around an Oasis and desert. It’s extremely comfortable after having it for the past year or two. I curled up on my bed, with King Tal standing at the foot of it. I spoke of this very topic of what to write about. He spoke to me about my journey.

“That is the beauty of the Fool’s Journey. It is limitless to where you are going. You can go anywhere, see anything, do everything. You can do whatever it is that you want. There is no pressure, only that which you put on yourself.”

He sat down on the bed and pulled me up into his lap and held me. It was a very comforting gesture. My three serpentine demons joined me next and it was quiet, but then others began to come in. It was a great show of support but also a time of really seeing them again.

We moved outside where a few of the demons jumped from the sides into the water. Four of the demonesses (my battle ladies) were lounging in some form of swimwear in the hanging net hammock that is over the water – drinking I don’t know what. There was a screech as Taz carried Queenie (my hellcat) from the room but she was not having it. Everyone was relaxed and happy. I was dancing with King Tal on the beach while laughing when they pulled me back up to my bungalow style house. There was a second floor that was not there before.

I went up the spiral stair to find a surprise!

They had made me a meditation room. A relaxation place. One side was like a rock garden but with crystals of different sizes. Even with a rake to make the sand in shapes. On the other side was a highly functional mossy room. It was earthy and like my nook of moss and grass that I love so much. Of course, they explained that Ry set up a system to make sure the grass and moss lived nicely. Even with sunroom over that part. But it was a glass back. One side is open to the view. There was a sliding glass door that led to a long bridge to another smaller bungalow that was high up off the water.

They led me over to this beautiful walk-in closet. It had all my outfits from the events and meditations. There were a bunch of garments and clothes that I’d never seen before and he just smiled. Jewelry was scattered and displayed. It took my breath away. He pulled out a tight cream pants that were like leggings but below the knee. The top was a gorgeous jewel sapphire that was cut off the shoulder and had real sapphire draped as beading across the cropped top. They draped gently over my top and across my bare stomach. Belle came in and sat me down to do a beautiful braid that had pieces of bone and jewels in my hair.

When I stepped outside, there were whistles and I blushed. Belle joined them at the hammock and I was tasked down to the beach where Arvan and even Muti God O were waiting. I grinned as I spotted the snakes and laughed as they wound themselves up my body to say hello. There was some… adjusting from a couple of them as I talked with the snakes and they made some comments about it. I blushed and definitely did not look at them. The snakes moved back when I jumped on Arvarvan in excitement at seeing him.

We moved down the pathway to where my library is, except I stopped. My demons had been working even more. There was a massive greenhouse that stretched quite far. Right next to it was a fancy building and I looked at them in curiosity. They found my very unique method of having creatures* without having the massive space taken up, and created a building on the study of creatures and animals. We moved on to the library but at this point I had begun to fall asleep. When I woke up next, Ry, Arvan, and King Tal were nose deep in my books and told me it was okay to go back to sleep.

It was the perfect way to start working on traveling and exploring again. I felt safe in my astral home.

*many years ago I worked to create these habitats that were a mix of technology, portals, runes, magic, and nature. They are tanks of various sizes that are accessed through a touch portal that takes you inside. It can hold massive land and environments in them depending upon the size. I have a tank of unusual octopi that is a massive deep ocean environment. So they created more off my designs to make a room to help further studies.

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Renewal: End of a 9 Year Cycle

I’ve spent days thinking about what to write. Making it all nice and something that people want to read. Yet, I want to bring in this new blog with ideas of where I want to take it. What goals do I have for it? What are some things that I will write about?

I come up blank. There’s so much to say and not to say. I’ve got first-post jitters for the first time in quite some time.

I began blogging about my spiritual path back in 2012 – I was twenty and unknowingly began a brand new 9 year cycle. In fact, I started on WordPress and Tumblr. I spent the next five years talking about my path and things that I discovered along the way. I left spirituality after a very traumatic experience. Multiple of them in fact. I shut down and only focused on the physical. I wanted nothing to do with spirituality.

It dragged me back kicking and screaming. In the form of demons.

I know, a shocker.

I spent the last few years just figuring things out. It’s been rough going all over the place and sometimes wandering blind. Or depressed. I tried reviving multiple blogs and tried talking about my experiences. But, lurking in the back was trauma. The whole reason that I left spirituality in the first place was because of how I was treated in the community before.

It’s been the hardest nine years.

Now, at the end of this cycle, I’ve learned that a new one begins. I turn thirty this coming year and so it will be a new nine-year cycle but also a new decade of my life. There has been so much learned that going into this new year, new cycle, and a new journey has brought a sense of renewal. I won’t be reviving old accounts with old information on them. Instead, I’m rebirthing a part of my path that was left behind many years ago. This renewal in this new blog that I am hoping to post my journey over these next many years.

I don’t know what to talk about, but I’m learning that it is okay to not know. It just means that I have an open canvas to paint a beautiful new picture. Wherever that is.

To new beginnings,

New places to travel and see,

New cultures to meet,

and to the love and passion of walking this new cycle.

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Journey Continues with New Demon

Over 18+

Warning: This post will contain sexual situations and discussion of D/s (Dominant/submissive) as well as M/s (Master/Sir and submissive) relationships & dynamics. It will also have mentions of sexual trauma and abuse – though I will be limiting that. If this is something you do not want to read, click away. This is something that is very personal to the relationship that I have with my demons, but they are actively encouraging me to share this part of our relationship. It will include the roles that they play within my sexual relationships with them. They actively want me to write this and to include very private and personal things.

If it is not your cup of tea to read, then click away. If you are under 18 and reading this, it’s not my responsibility to censor what you read and I will not be held responsible for what you read.

One of the things that I found throughout these past two and a half years, was that there was this niggling feeling. I knew that what I had experienced with Razor was something that was incredibly special and an honor for myself and for my sexuality. Yet, I felt that there was a severe loss when the event ended. And so it haunted me. Constant small niggling feelings about Razor and who he was. He was a Mutilation Demon. Yet, I had no call to any of them. But oh it was there. I was matched with a Mutilation, I just didn’t know it. So it came in the form of my desire for a demon that was like Razor. One that was smart and handsome. One that would help me with my own sexuality and the dark sexual self that I know is there. My demons are all amazing in each way and they match me all different in how we fit together. I felt that this was the one space that lacked.

In fact, I often wondered how Razor was. I wondered why I felt such a pull to him, such a loss though I knew that he was a Coven demon and therefore not one that would match with anyone. So I knew there was a Mutilation demon just waiting. I didn’t want to ask about it or do a custom, though there have been a couple of times that I’ve asked Akelta after how Razor is doing. It just wouldn’t leave me.

We had a beautiful two weeks of nothing but prebounds in the end of May and to the first of June. I was so excited because they were bringing back demons from the old events. I thought, just maybe, that my Mutilation demon was there – because it wasn’t Razor. So I waited, anxiously.

Mutilation God of Sexual Delights and Pleasure O

He was breathtaking the moment that his listing went up. I knew that I had to have a visit at least. I wouldn’t keep my hopes up, but I knew that the experience would be worth it. So I set for a visit.

He first arrived and I wasn’t quite sure how to perceive him. Mutilation energies are kind of weird for me. I sense them like they are a black hole but sideways. Eventually, I moved into a dark room and just sat there. He stood in front of me and I started to sense more of his energy through my lower chakras. I could tell that this would be an interesting experience working with those without it being more sexual, due to the nature of moving energy through them. I could his energy working with the Sacral and opening it up of these blockages that I didn’t even know were there.

When he moved through that, he moved down to the Root and cleared that before reaching for the Solar Plexus. Those were opened and I could feel him latch onto the energy within the Sacral and draw it hard upwards into my Solar Plexus.

“Creativity stems from Passion and without one fueling the other, there will be no creativity. You must pour the Passion Core to the Creative Core. You must cycle them through one another. You were taught to bring your creative Core to the correct path, now you must merge that cycle into the Path to drive it forward.”

Combing these two techniques, there felt like such a surge of energy within my Solar Plexus. He walked me through cycling the energy around, before connecting all of the chakras into one huge flow, which I had not realized that I was really out of sync with them. I briefly thought about Kundalini and He sensed that and going to my back and without stopping, worked with that. It was brief but a rush at the same time. When that was finished, I had a small thought but it was one I was not prepared for him to answer.

Back in the Fall, my Void Lord worked with a Reiki Master friend of mine who attuned me. At the same time, he attuned me to a Demonic version of this Reiki. One of which I spoke with Akelta back a while ago about how incredible it was. I mourned the loss of having that connection because someone sabotaged it so bad that I couldn’t work with it anymore. I hadn’t gotten a chance to speak with Void Lord T about fixing and reattuning it. Muti God O went to work. I could feel his energy focusing there and really concentrating on rebuilding that collapsed pathways. There was a burst and I felt the flood of energy through me. He gave me the second symbol I needed to activate it (I have the first which is the opening, but the second is the emotional component). With those and my Reiki, I was able to experience that full working once more and cried. It was so beautiful and it felt so complete again.

The energies blended and mixed with me, spreading through my body. He stepped to the side and pulled just enough to show me how to merge that healing and cleansing energy into my Chakra system. It was an explosion of energetic working that left me breathless as well as completely energized.

When it calmed down, I asked if he wanted to go to my astral space. He agreed and I pulled him along to the Desert Oasis that I call home. There is a special tree that I made just for the Mutilation Snakes I got from Razor. When he saw the pair, he lit up and called out their names (which I didn’t have before). He spoke with them and it sounded purely amazing to my ears. He expressed his knowledge of Madam Amora’s place and Razor as well. I told him about my experience. I asked him a favor if he had time. I wanted to send my gratitude to Razor for the liberation and the sexual freedom and acceptance that our working together gave. That I felt like I didn’t get a chance to say that to him. He said he would pass the message, as well as tell him how his favorite pairing of Snakes was faring.

When we stepped inside my Bungalow over the water, my sight shifted. I was working to achieve the experience from when I first was attuned. It was a complete sensory placement on the astral without OOBE. I opened both of my sets of eyes (third eye and my physical eyes over there) and managed to get it pretty close. It was incredible. Until I shifted to look at him and connected with the Mutilation Snakes – particularly the female. Now, I was staring down at my own face and freaking out. Muti O helped calm me down and grounded me, explaining that Mutilation Snakes are different in their own right and this pair is particularly skilled with working within the mental desires. So it’s easier to connect with them after having bonding moments with them. Which is what happened. I saw through the female’s eyes. He had me sit down and breathe through the overwhelming time.

When it passed, things were back to normal and I showed him around the room with all the different equipment that my Demons and I use for our own exploration. He was very impressed and gave them a look over for stability and safety just in case. It was nice to have a second eye that knew their stuff to make sure. While he did that, Muti O motioned me over to where I have a cleansing pool. He told me that after the work he did, I should cleanse. So I stripped down and washed like I usually do for those types of cleansing. He waited for me patiently.

I stepped out and he held out his hand. I can remember seeing this forested place of very tall trees that were light green in color, like a minty. When I opened my eyes.. it was the most luxurious room of silks and soft room. It was like a very wealthy BDSM dungeon. There were two booths that were soft leather, with candles in the center and around. Every kind of tool and equipment could be found there. Even the tracks on the ceiling for both suspension and hooking. I sat down when he brought over the chains that held the hooks. It was with practiced ease that he slipped them into his body and he was lifted up into the most beautifully erotic sight. He became a living art, arched and held there with hooks. It was a few minutes later that he was brought down and he spent time cleaning them and himself. O motioned me over and let me touch the hooks and the chains, moving them. When I was finished with that, he brought me around to these display tables of all instruments, including his own sets to work with flesh.

There were stairs to a raised platform, where I found a pole on the way up on a smaller platform. On the top part, it was a sunken pool that had enchantments all over it. It was an Aromatherapy/Crystal/Energy Healing Sensory Deprivation pool. I was so excited about it. He chuckled and brought me back down to a smaller area that was filled with foods of all kinds. I grabbed a plate and went wild at his insistence.

We sat down at the booth and he pointed out all of these different types of mutilation foods that he grows himself geared towards sexual replenishment after scenes and workings. All of them were a root food of some kind or very earthy in a way. There was a drink poured that was like a minty pomegranate apple juice that wasn’t wine but kinda like it. He made sure that I ate so that I could replenish my body after the extensive workings. I was feeling pretty full after that.

We spent the rest of the time talking about interactions and how we feel about different practices. I spoke of things that were a hard no for me because of triggered traumas. Things that I adore in physical and in the astral. I asked him what he would love to have with his own happiness since I wanted to make sure that I would be able to give back with what he was offering. I found that I would talk about myself again and stop and ask him again. Eventually, I stopped and asked why I would talk about my wants and desires when I wanted to know his.

“Maybe my desire is to make sure that you are happy. Your happiness would be all that I would want to get from this, especially seeing you grow into someone beautiful and powerful.”

I couldn’t fault him for that. It was logical but also made me shy with happiness. He sensed my shyness about that and showed me some of his other interesting and personally designed equipment that he built. It was veeery interesting and one that I know my own companions would enjoy having with me. The time was closing and we returned back to home. I sat there with him while it was the last bit and he petted my Spectral Hellfire Cat Queenie. Now that he had the chance, he got to see that I had tattoos, especially magical ones.

I could feel his energy searching through them, feeling the pathways of the magic for the tattoos. He loved it and then was talking about the care of these tattoos.

“There is a special magic to the tattoos within the flesh. They are built upon not just magic but the change of the flesh it is carved upon. Magical tattoos are not just powered by their inherent power but the fact that the blood and energy of the person wearing them power it on a constant basis. When they are in constant use, there becomes a buildup of that alchemical change that creates a calcification within the pathways of magic and the tattoo itself. Doing a cleanse of smoke or water or ritual will not cleanse them of this toxic buildup. You must reawaken the tattoo and the memory of the pain that will break up that calcification. Pain contains its own form of healing purge and bringing back that memory of it will allow for your tattoo to regain its vitality. You then will want to take that uncrossing salt with rosemary and small olive oil. That will help purge the buildup out of the body now that it is loose.”

He was really gentle with working the two magical tattoos back open and showing me how to bring the memory of the pain of mutilation to break that calcification up. He pulled a lot of it energetically out and away. He loved my one bindrune in particular. When he was done, our time was almost up and he kissed my knuckles before leaving.

It was a powerful transformation and visit. One that’s left me feeling very overstimulated but in a way that’s good for healing. Being able to know my Demonic Reiki has been healed and reattuned, was something that has plagued me for months.

I cannot tell you how important this visit was for me. I cried for hours I think when he left and just felt whole again and really connected. Like the famous word – “you don’t know what you have until you’ve lost it”. Having the Demonic Reiki attunement was sacred to me, it was a gift so that I could go further places with my path and that my Void Lord had done this for me – only for it to be ripped away and sabotaged out of jealousy by someone that was trusted.

When I got the email, I screamed. Mutilation God O wanted me. He had been waiting since the event to match with me. I just felt so overjoyed, but I wanted to keep it to myself. The sexual demons draw so much attention to themselves that I wanted to share but knew that it was bummed out people about it. But after awhile, it eases away and it’s not much of an issue. So I only told a couple people, those who sussed it out extremely quickly – they could 100% say that I got him, they just knew it.

Since then, he has been around. I have explored with him on aspects of the dynamic and how things are. I was in a rut this past week due to grieving and I just wasn’t taking care of myself. Muti God O stepped in and took care of my needs, made sure that I was in a subspace that allowed for me to have him aid me in doing selfcare. Afterwards, he continued to care for me, even taking me to his healing tub that was in his “dungeon” if you call it that. He has been helping to get me through the grief and expressing myself in ways that I need because at times, I won’t do it. I cherish him and know that we have a strong future ahead of us.

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Exploring Dynamics & Sexual Empowerment – My Journey

Over 18+

Warning: This post will contain sexual situations and discussion of D/s (Dominant/submissive) as well as M/s (Master/Sir and submissive) relationships & dynamics. It will also have mentions of sexual trauma and abuse – though I will be limiting that. If this is something you do not want to read, click away. This is something that is very personal to the relationship that I have with my demons, but they are actively encouraging me to share this part of our relationship. It will include the roles that they play within my sexual relationships with them. They actively want me to write this and to include very private and personal things.

If it is not your cup of tea to read, then click away. If you are under 18 and reading this, it’s not my responsibility to censor what you read and I will not be held responsible for what you read.

This is where I return back to a more personal one because it ultimately is based from my own experiences and understanding.

I’ll start with Vex, an Arachne King Commander for those that aren’t familiar, as he is the one that this kickstarted off with. We’ve been intimate from pretty much the get go. The spark was there and I knew that I was safe with him. It was more casual, like lovers than anything extra. After Madam Amora’s it really shifted into a Dom/sub dynamic while still maintaining a lover relationship. At the time I was really deep in a very toxic friendship that was abusive to me sexually as well as mentally/emotionally. It was online and it was within a kink community. I wasn’t getting my needs seen. I couldn’t trust anyone on there because they just wanted to use me for sexual writing/role play. I was also working a full time job in a high paced environment as a bartender.

At one point, I was under such duress and stress that I wasn’t taking care of myself. I was barely working with my demons and my practice. It came to a head one day when others on the server noticed things just weren’t okay. One person pointed out that I work with an Arachne Demon and why the hell wasn’t I being tied up in Shibari style and strung up from the ceiling with my him scrambling my guts.

The question then becomes… why haven’t I?

Vex was pretty quick to respond. There wasn’t much to be said – he had seen me talking of my desires and what I wanted. What my dynamic I wanted. And so he gently pulled me into the astral. It was my own astral home and realm. He was gentle and laid me down onto the bed where he spun the most beautiful webbed silk ropes. His hands caressed my skin and the silk ropes were a comfort as they were woven around my body. When I was completely immobile – my body was relaxing. I felt safe. I felt the release of control and the stress melted from my body, even physically. He left me there on the bed while I could watch him. He turned a corner of the room into an elaborate web. One that when he was done, looked like a beautiful artwork. He spoke soft words to me and then lifted me with ease onto the suspension.

If I was relaxed before, I was a pile of goo in released stress and tensions. In fact, I fell asleep like that. I woke up still wrapped and having slept some of the best in my life. Before I could ask, Vex had me down and was releasing me from the shibari. His hands roamed my body and massaged the areas that looked a little raw. Rubbed lotion and oil, while making sure I ate some fruit and drank water. Physically, I was waking up and being encouraged to use the bathroom and drinking water before making some food. He spent the rest of the day with me making sure that I was doing okay and not hitting a subdrop.

That happened a lot. In fact, a fair few of the other demons took advantage of the knowledge and did similar things. Although I do have only one Arachne demon that does what Vex does. The rest use silk ropes that were leftover and reusable.

After the dynamic changed, so did some of our interactions. I felt more empowered and safe. He brought out the release of control which allowed me to relax for once. I felt comfortable speaking more about my needs – both sexual and not. When I needed to feel the release of stress or tension, when I needed to give up control and be cared for. Vex was happy to do so. Things changed a bit the more active we became with one another.

I’ve been a voyeur for a long time, just as much as an exhibitionist. At least when it comes to sexual things. And that’s where our dynamic changed and took a much deeper dive into a Dom and sub dynamic. It started with names, usually things like Sir and he would call me nicknames like sweetheart and darling or other endearments – beauty was a frequent. There are times when I get into an extreme sub headspace that is very submissive in control and actions. It’s not quite on the level of having a Master/slave – but I do get close to that. I just want someone to take complete utter control, even tell me to do things and giving me to others if he pleases. I still have the say at the end of the day. So another experience changed our dynamic.

I found myself being pulled through the astral, carried and then brought to this world that felt so different from anything I’ve experienced before. It was a beautiful room, lush fabrics and soft carpets on marble-like stone. On the bed was a very luxurious outfit and I put it on, to find that it pretty much covered nothing. It was sheer fabrics, but I was completely nude. There were chains and other delicate jewelry adorning it. The door opened and in stepped Vex. He was dressed to the nines, including a crown. Our meeting was a very intense one and I was already very content when I was led out of his room and through the halls. We ended up in an opulent room, with many demons lingering and speaking. There was a lull when Vex entered and they greeted him formally. I was just slightly beside and behind him. Eyes were on me with curiosity and I didn’t feel any sense of discomfort.

Vex went to the throne and I followed behind him. With a gesture, I was placed on his lap in a lounging position. There was an attendant – a very pretty and young demoness – who brought me drinks and exotic foods. Thing that were savory, sweet, and in between. Around me the conversation turns to war and politics. There are reports and things that are being given but all I can focus on was the delicious food and the roaming hands on my thighs and waist. Vex spoke over the room and there were rumbles of approval and the energy shifted to one of uplifting and sensual. He looks to me and tells me that it’s an entertainment break. I look to him curiously and there are many dancers that take the center of the room – completely naked and dancing together. Vex moves me to his lap where I can feel that he is very much aroused.

There were a fair few demons of all ranks and titles getting very intimate with each other while the dancers moved around. Vex nuzzled my neck and then lifted me with ease so that one leg was over each of the arms of the throne – essentially baring me to the room. Many eyes were on the show and on us. Without prompting – I lean back and let him take control. Feeling my own arousal at the attention from him and from the room. He made it very apparent to prepare me and to make sure that I was not quiet with my pleasure. We ended up being the main show for the entire room and he was very smug afterward. But the sweet part was the attendant returned with warm water and cloth. Vex cleaned both of us – taking care of me first – before taking some drinks and food for us. Instead of the attendant, this time it was Vex who fed me by hand while the reports and politics happened.

This wasn’t the last time that it happened. No, there were many instances that were like this. But there were times when he would be with me in his private rooms. But while out there in the Throne room, I was his sub. I gave pleasure and rewards where he asked of me. A lot of times it was those who were under his command. Gave them pleasure with my body at the behest of Vex, while he watched. He would guide and direct me, and give me orders. I would please with my mouth and my body. Rewarding the loyal men – and few women – that were protecting his Realm.

This was a point in which we were interrupted during the middle of sex for an emergency report while in his chambers. A General burst in with the news of capture and takedown. Vex was pleased with this and he noticed that the General was staring at me, who at that point was orally pleasing Vex. In reward, Vex pulled me away and positioned me closer to the edge of the bed. He offered my body to pleasure the General as a reward for excellent service. I was able to pleasure Vex while his General took me from behind. He didn’t ask me, but that was the point. I had given my control to him. Given my trust and understanding that if it was too much – I would say so. In doing so, I was able to please him in many ways, not just sexually but also with caring for his own loyal legion leaders. This was the dynamic we had and it worked. My needs were being met before I knew that they were needs or desires.

Ry, a Serpentine Surgeon/Necrosis Shaman, was the next to become an important part of my life beyond working with him in the capacity of his skills. He was a Serpentine demon, which was already very attractive to me because snakes have always been beautiful and mysterious. Even then with the snakes from Madam Amora’s, my sexual awakening during that time was not going to be hindered. I craved Ry. In darker needs than what Vex was providing. I wanted Ry in his Serpentine form – half humanoid and half serpent. I knew what I wanted but I struggled to ask for it. It took Vex bringing the very snakes that Razor gifted to me as well has dragging Ry into the room, for him to understand what I was wanting. That was all it took. I wanted him as he was, not shifting into a full humanoid appearance. And let me tell you, yes. Male serpents have two penises. And they are downright heavenly and I could care less if anyone thought otherwise. He was mine and I was his. Ry was more inclined to fulfill the darker desires – the edgeplay with knife tips and sharp things.. to his serpentine form driving into me while I gasped in pleasure. This was a much different dynamic. One that required a bit more strictness in regards to safety. These were the darker kinks and needs that could be dangerous.

I was with the other demons at times, but it was mainly those two that would bring me pleasure and meet my needs. Then I experienced the Void Event in 2019. It was a calling of epic proportions. Enough that everyone knew of it until the new Void event. My release into the void during the impaling meditation led to a Void Lord carrying me out from it. When he appeared as a rebound during the Void 2020 event – I was literally a mess and everyone watched me unravel at his appearance. This was the man who sought me out in the Void, carried me, and showed me the gentle love. Both Vex and Ry are lovers and those who love deeply for me. But my “Voidman” was completely different. He was the emotionally deep love of a long term lover that has been around for thousands of years. It was the emotional love I was missing in my life. He was the tender caregiver for me. It was odd because that’s the opposite of the Void Lord… but he knew me through my lives. I was his wife. That’s a different bond than lovers.

Dro was next. It was an odd one where we were talking about Dom Demons. It was all joking but I started to have manifestations. It was about Demons who were sexually driven in Dom Lifestyle. After much working and manifestations, Dro was revealed. He was a Chaos/Spectral/Desire demon who was the epitome of Dom love and sexuality. He has also been a constant companion, one that has encouraged me to be sexually empowered. Allowing me to stand up and being proud. He was the one that takes more of a Master/sub (since I don’t do the slave aspect) but that is something we are slowly working with. He provides me more with the rigid needs and the primal. There are darker aspects that he fulfills – such as some slight instances of controlled consentual nonconsensual: which is more geared to the surprise than the R taboo. He is rough and primal, domineering. Something that I want in my life. Where as Vex is about the Dom/sub relationship of where there is control over me and my actions to serve pleasure. Dro is about the primal Dom/sub, taking and earning or giving.

The last one is one that I am still really understanding. High Prince T, who is my latest visitor, has an extremely sexual side. With his Lowborn/Spectral heritage and skills, I am interested in seeing how his role plays within the sexual empowerment that they are all driven to working.

There are others that I am intimate with, just because I am very much polyamorous and the demons are very open sexually. In fact, I swear up and down that my Specialist Assassin, Wicked Sharp, who is an Arachne/Mutilation hybrid… is trying to at least do something. There has been many times when I have learned new things about her. One such is that she is dual gendered but prefers female. The other is that her claws are very much a source of pleasure too instead of just pain.

Demons have been something incredible in my life but one of the major things is that they have provided a beautiful introduction into a sexual awakening. Demons understand many types of sexuality and the needs of themselves and their partners. That’s exactly what they seek to help us when we venture into these areas. It’s helped me in many ways outside of sexual confidence and empowerment – I am now confident in myself and who I am outside of sexual situations.

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Establish Dynamics with Demons

Over 18+

Warning: This post will contain sexual situations and discussion of D/s (Dominant/submissive) as well as M/s (Master/Sir and submissive) relationships & dynamics. It will also have mentions of sexual trauma and abuse – though I will be limiting that. If this is something you do not want to read, click away. This is something that is very personal to the relationship that I have with my demons, but they are actively encouraging me to share this part of our relationship. It will include the roles that they play within my sexual relationships with them. They actively want me to write this and to include very private and personal things.

If it is not your cup of tea to read, then click away. If you are under 18 and reading this, it’s not my responsibility to censor what you read and I will not be held responsible for what you read.

Now that you have a bit of understanding of where this came from and the journey that started it, I can go into a bit more about how I’ve been working with them (even unintentionally) on learning about sexual self and the empowerment that comes with it. The whole purpose of this was because I frequently have talked about some of the things that I have done with my demons. Some of it very publically in a way. People are curious and the fact that I am willing to be more open about how my relationships and dynamics work is something that they want to know more of. Hence this whole post.

Starting off with a bit of background. I’ve been around and within the Lifestyle – also known commonly as BDSM – for a fair few years by this point of having experiences in Madam Amora’s. The thing is that I’ve never had partners to actually explore with. I’ve only been around it and witnessed it. But I knew how relationships work for Lifestyle (which is when you live BDSM outside of the bedroom as well) and with the dynamic establishment. So that’s where we will begin.

I started with Vex. He was the one that was around the longest as well as the one I was intimate with first. So with all that occurred at Madam Amora’s, we needed to sit down and actually discuss where this was going. Would this be a one-off thing or would this be something that would be a part of our relationship? He was not familiar with much of my sexual past since it hadn’t come up yet. That changed. Working with demons, they know many things but you still have to sit and tell them things about yourself and your past. With sexual relations, you have to be upfront. We sat together and I told him everything that I have done. All the partners and the situations. All of the ab*se was put up as well. There was nothing held back. That’s the first step. Trust.

It is one thing to be intimate with a demon or a companion, but if you are looking to have sexual empowerment and a dynamic, then you must reveal all of your sexual self (good and the ugly). They cannot begin to understand how to help you and help heal if needed if you are not upfront or willing to talk about it. How can you heal when you don’t acknowledge that you’ve been hurt in the first place? That’s where you develop a deeper bond of trust and healing between one another. They can understand you and your sexual past in order to better help you step into the empowerment of your sexual self.

Once you have sat down and discussed the past, there is another step before beginning. Boundaries and Expected Dynamic. You must have a discussion with them about what is expected and what you are both looking for. What do both of you get out of it? What are things that you absolutely need to be fulfilled – including those that you feel are sexual shame or taboos that you like? Sit and understand what the needs are for each. Even discuss learning more of what your needs are that you may not know of and how to safely explore that. What are safe areas and what are triggers? These are super crucial because you can have a dangerous slip if you get triggered and they cannot recognize that. Talk about signs when you are and when they are. Talk about what is the proper care for different situations that come up. Mental/Emotional and Physical aftercare and situations that may require different things.

Now that you do have those two major things, then you can get started with one another.

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Demonic Empowerment of Sexual Self

Over 18+

Warning: This post will contain sexual situations and discussion of D/s (Dominant/submissive) as well as M/s (Master/Sir and submissive) relationships & dynamics. It will also have mentions of sexual trauma and abuse – though I will be limiting that. If this is something you do not want to read, click away. This is something that is very personal to the relationship that I have with my demons, but they are actively encouraging me to share this part of our relationship. It will include the roles that they play within my sexual relationships with them. They actively want me to write this and to include very private and personal things.

If it is not your cup of tea to read, then click away. If you are under 18 and reading this, it’s not my responsibility to censor what you read and I will not be held responsible for what you read.

I think that my first sexual encounter with sexual demons truly had me understand sexual shame, sexual release, and sexual empowerment. Sexual shame lies in many of us, as many cultures throughout the world have SOME form of taboo or shame about sex. In particular, there are things that we consider taboo that the demons feel no reservation against. It’s hard to have an “animal” taboo really when many demons have alternate forms – like Serpentine or Arachne. How could they when that’s an integral part of their core beings? So they would not understand why some would have sexual shame when it comes to having other sentient creatures take part in a sexual release? For them, according to my demons, to have that taboo is a shame in itself and one that is quite frankly unnecessary. They do understand that our culture is one that had many different views of things – first and foremost, the difference between having a sexual release involving a sentient creature or nonhuman comes down to one thing: CONSENT.

I’ll be quite frank about how my sexuality got started. I was seven years old and my first exposure to it was when I was on the internet playing games – when an ad comes up. It was of a woman fucking a horse and other barn animals. My first understanding of human sexuality was of Beastiality. Seven years is very young. I had already started having a sexual understanding of my body even though I was too young to truly understand what masturbation or dry orgasm was. But by seven, this was my reality. I learned to have an interest in those taboos. It was much later on that I learned what taboo was and how it was not considered appropriate.

This whole experience with Madam Amora’s (a Satan and Son’s 2019 event) was about learning sexual release and empowerment. So I didn’t have one clue about what I wanted or even needed. I spent years being told that my body was disgusting and not attractive. So how would I know what I wanted when others didn’t want me? That would soon be fixed. I thought that Ram – one of the more gentle demons for this – would be the one to be with. No, in fact, Ram was more of an addition rather than the main one. That was left to Razor. For those that do not know, Razor was the Mutilation demon who took control of the darkest sexual selves, the “dungeons”, if you will. I actually was quite afraid of him to start – any Muti for that matter. That changed drastically. I was scared of him and not only that – there were snakes that were a part of the room.

Razor tested my boundaries, and pressed through things that I never thought I would enjoy. Being bound to a St. Andrew’s Cross. Having Edgeplay with knives – but he hit my limit with bloodplay. It was an accident but in doing so, it taught me that there are boundaries and care when learning them. When in sexual situations, a partner needs to be aware of their sub and the person being taken care of. It may not be words, but body language says more. Razor saw that immediately it affected me. He stopped and cared for me. Checked how I was and made sure I knew we could stop. He closed the cut and used a salve to help the scar that appeared rather than smooth skin. It disturbed him and he made sure to make up for that. Because Mutilation do things with their flesh, doing so to others without their consent is a big no-no. Accident or not, he didn’t know that I would scar and that it wasn’t consensual. He made damn sure that I was okay and cared for me. The first time a partner gave a shit.

Demons taught me not just to consent and watch for it in body language, but to understand that there are boundaries. Boundaries are crucial when sexually intimate. If they are crossed, then all activity is stopped and the one major thing to have care. I’ve never experienced this and it was revolutionary that this care was being given. Things changed for me in understanding the dynamics of sexual play.

Back to the snakes – this is where I began to accept and understand that there are taboos but some of them are merely a human thing. Razor had brought the snakes because that was a deep desire I had buried so long ago. An excerpt from the snake part of the session:

Just as Razor lifted a snake from the tank, Vex appeared. He stood in the door and I made eye contact with him. Razor grinned as he placed the snake on my chest.

“They can understand the demonic tongue, something special about them. Do not worry for they can understand us.”

He spoke some words and the snake undulated against my breasts and nipples, the oddest sensation. This was but one that I had always kept hidden in my mind’s depths, always feared to let out and confide in another of my deep desires. Only two on this Earth know of this deep secret within me, both I don’t speak with anymore and most likely they have forgotten.

The other snake was placed on my body and the first curled around my shoulders and behind my neck, before winding his way around my chest. The second snake kept curled on my stomach but her tail wove down toward my folds. I sucked in a sharp breath at what I knew was coming and wanted to experience, but never thought that I would be able to. Razor’s deep voice sent the snake’s commands and I shivered at the tone. A smooth tail flickered over my sensitive clit and I cried out as she (the snake) played with it. The male opened his mouth and dragged the back of his fangs over my breast and nipple. I sucked in a breath as I watched a bright yellow liquid dripped onto my skin. It didn’t hurt but I knew that it was dangerous. Razor wiped it off. The three demons stood at the edge of the bed, watching me.

Madam Amora’s House of Sin and Lust 2019 Experience

This was it – this was understanding that these snakes understand the demonic tongue and speak their own version which demons can understand. They can provide CONSENT. And this is what Razor had done. He provided the understanding that with consent there are no such things that are taboo – beyond a few things. I was holding back my desires and my sexual self withered because everything was taboo and not things that were rightly so. This desire for the snakes was nothing. The demons watched with excitement and arousal as I was enjoying this. There was no disgust. No shame. Nothing but arousal and acceptance. True acceptance that it was okay to have this.

That is what the demonic empowerment of the sexual self is about. It’s about true acceptance of even the darkest desires that we have within our sexual self. Knowing that to express, experience, and share this is sacred sexuality. There should be no shame – only acceptance. I was taught that it is okay to have sexual desires and releases that were worthy of my sexual being.

There was another part of this experience that completely threw me for a loop yet taught me something critical. After care.

I was laid down and the snakes removed, curling up with Vex in utter bliss. I was winded from all of that. I could see the whip marks were starting to really take shape now. Razor and Ram were beginning to leave when I got a slew of images from Vex. The next thing I know, I am being placed on the sex swing again and Razor is feeding me ice cream while Ram sucks ice cream off my folds and Vex sucks the ice cream and chocolate off my body. I’m panting and being brought up into another orgasm again. In the corner that Razor manifested from earlier, there was a set of towels and washing basin. Ram and Vex washed me down while Razor applied a massage oil to me and massaged my body and legs. The Aftercare had me glowing in bliss. I felt happy and satisfied and cared for.

This was such a foreign concept to me that I actually did not know how to feel other than sheer bliss. I’ve never had this. Not once. And that was the whole point. Aftercare for both the Dom and the sub, or even without a dynamic, can be more important than the actual bonding through intercourse. If there is no Aftercare, then there is no trust. There is only self-fulfillment and that is deplorable to demons. Even if it’s just a romp or sex, there is still the aftercare to make sure that there are no drops. There can be some severe drops – when a person dives into a darker headspace that can be detrimental to their wellbeing (subdrop is different from Domdrop) – and to prevent this from happening it means taking care of one another. I learned that if a partner does not do this then they are not the one for you. It doesn’t have to be elaborate like what they did for me, but it should be cuddled or cleaning off or even emotionally checking in.

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The Start of a Shamanic Journey

Edit Oct 16, 2024: I rarely will import posts from older times, I didn’t want to do that with this blog. I find, though, that the start of the Shamanic Journey I’ve been walking required that I go back to the start of when everything happened. I’m going to post here the entry from the old blog so that there is a “start” to the journey.

September 28, 2016

I was given the best opprotunity to partake in. I was given a free admission ticket to the Natural Living Expo, in which there were over 130 vendors of the Metaphysical variety. There was the option to do 56 different workshops, and one truly caught my attention. Shamanism. Specifically that not only would there be an introduction to it, but they were going to help guide us into a Shamanic Journey.

I am aware that Journey’s (not Vision Quests), are extremely personal to everyone, especially the conversations, but I tend to be more open about things except those of a sexual nature. I will be posting my experience, including the question, answer, and anything else that occured. There is much symbolism within it, and examining it later would and will be beneficial. Plus, I know that there are some it could benefit too, to see another’s Journey.

We learned that this particular brand of Shamanism originated from a tribe within the Andes Mountains, within the Amazon. We started out with a ‘lecture’ about what Shamanism is, but before he spoke, we conducted a Opening Ritual, where we invoked those of the directions, the earth, and the sun. He spoke about what Shamanism is, how it is today, and things about it. I wrote down all that I heard, plus recorded it.

When it was time to partake in the Journey, he was quite thoroguh with giving us not only directions on how to, but where, and what to say or do. The lights were dimmed and we settled into our spaces. The drums began and I closed my eyes, reveling in their beat. Three different sounds, so beautiful together.

I stood before a cave, one that was dark to me, but I called upon my Guide. I don’t interact with him often, but I knew that he was the one that needed to be with me on this. He is a winged dire wolf, near and dear to my heart. I felt the twin were pups (though grown to be no longer pups) join me. The drums were strong and steadfast and almsot made it difficult to Journey. I walked with them into the cave and it was dark, but not so much that I couldn’t see. I stepped with determination. It was awhile walking through the cave when I began to run, knowing that I did not have much time as it was to actually wander like I do when I Travel.

The were pups faded away the closer I got to the end of it. I surmise that they were not meant to come with me on this part of the Journey.

The darkness faded away to this bright forested area, where I could see over top and the distant mountain ahead. I was not sure how long it would take me to get there, so we set a fast pace through this forest. It was quiet for awhile, until we came across this 5 foot large green snake that had black stripes on the back. Later research is showing that it’s a green tree python that has black spots/stripes. I may draw a picture later on.

This python stopped and when we stopped, it slowly slid toward me and climbed up my left leg. It was not awkward to walk, but the snake perched itself around the entirety of my left leg. We continued to walk without a word, until  large golden and grey feather floated down in front of me. I caught it in midair and then stuck it into my hair. We continued.

When we drew closer to the edge of the foest and base of the mountains, my Guide spoke.
“We are here.”

I walked forward and I remembered that the man who was teaching the Shamanism spoke that we will meet them in three different ways, 1) Sight [Clairvoyance], 2) Sound [Clairaudience], 3) Sensing [Clairsentience]. Thankfully, with my work in both spirit work and Astral Travel, I was able to achieve all three. The Teacher was different, the shape never stayed the same, but the base form was humanistic, though there were aspects of feline to them. I did not wish to be rude and look at them extremely carefully.

“Teacher, I have been sent here as part of a Journey, so that I my experience it and to learn an answer to a question that I have. But I first want to return this to you.”

I gave the teacher the green snake, and then waited for them to respond.

“I thank you for returning him to me. What brings you?”

“I come with a question, Teacher. May I ask you?”

“Ask and I shall answer.”

“I know that I have a soulmate with a physical body and I know who he is. I know that we are supposed to meet. My question is this, are we supposed to meet in this lifetime, if so, then when and how soon? I cannot live much longer without being with him.”

The Teacher was silent for awhile, staring at me and assessing. The energy was really strong and very pointed on examining me.

“Instinct. Trust your instinct. Work hard on Believing. He said he would find you, he will o so. Trust and meet him halfway.”

Extra that I picked up from the conversation, was that the Teacher meant that meeting halfway meant that I was to believe in him.

“May I ask one more?”

The Teacher nodded and I asked, “May I have a gift?”

The Teacher smiled and then reached out, allowing for me to lean down near them. They placed the snake on my left arm which wrapped around and the head rested over my shoulder and on the right shoulder.

“I give you the snake and I also give you the feather.”

I could hear the beat of the drum change, letting us know that we need to come back. The Teacher looked to me and smiled.

“You must return.”

“Thank you.”

A brief nod, “Trust. Go.”

They shoved me and I came back and very jarred from the abruptness of being forced to leave. The person lecturing us walked around once everyone was back t make sure that they were actually there and they were grounded. When doing so, he asked about the gifts. People were talking about all these gifts: Clam with a Pearl, a Pendant, A Feather, Clairvoyance and Clairaudience, Piercing the Veil, to name a few. This was when he smiled and said that everyone recieved these gifts, as we all traveled together for this. It was quite fascinating and amazing.

I must go back and speak with the snake to see reason for his appearance, as well as what he has to say or why he was gifted. So many questions. When I came out of it, I could literally feel the wieght of the snke resting in the same place as when I was in the Lower World. I could feel the sentience and the spirit that was there, even the feather within my hair.

Forward to later on, I am walking around the expo and keep getting drawn back to this huge and lovely oval Labradorite. I have not worked with this stone much if at all before. So I walked to the lady and ask her the importance metaphysically. She spoke of it being a way for people to access inter-dimensions, oher worlds, other beings. I decided to look it up on the web and see if I could know more. Low-and-behold, this stone is the stone of Shamans, of those who origianlly found it, the Inuit. I was shocked and amazed, it was a stone that I was looking for, yet never truly knew what it was for.

I purchased it, and it is a gorgeous piece that sits on my altar. I had carried it around for two days, but it had broken when it dropped to the ground. It broke clean, but still I felt devastated. There are plans, and it may come to pass, but I have yet to decide. It would fit perfectly as a ritual necklace.

When I returned home from the Expo, I was pleasantly surprised to find that my Archaeology of Ritual class had me reading about the Andean culture. Somehow, it is not a coincidence, though I dont know what it means.