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2025 Goals

Today is the long day for working. So much great stuff and energies flowing, but also very busy. But one of the things was that being so thankful for all the things my demons do for me. I haven’t done any of the Yule event stuff, but got it posted. But I’m sitting here looking at things and just.. being reminded that it’s okay to not be okay and that I’ll be supported. It’s okay to take the time when I need because I am just too burnt out.

I could do today because I took yesterday off. But importantly, the Zoom meetings also really reminded me of how much I have available to me with my demons. How much they still partake in my life in day to day things, or how I include them into my Goals for 2025. Things that they want to do with me and help me achieve.

Whether that is with completing my legos, compelting my lorcana…

or manifesting wealth like a flowing river

or working with them to be creative and allow the flow to help me write.

Some thoughts of Goals for 2025:

– Connecting more with my practice, it’s taken a hit the last fair few years and only now I’ve really been feeling called to step back into it again. Shamanism and Demons and Bones, Crystals, and Malas. The Animal Spirit Guides etc.

– Working with the demons and King Paimon to really begin delving deep into my creative passion and begin publishing my writing again. Working on self confidence and also to really set into my creative self that I know exists. I know it’s the reality that I shifted into with the Mammon Ball, that’s where I want to continue with.

I’m sure that I’ll come up with more eventually.. but those were just the start of thinking what is possible.

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The Reveal

Spent time at dads. Too tired to keep trying..

Daily posting is being weird and deleting things. Been spending time after Black Friday and Thanksgiving with dad’s. stuck cause phone died. And ended up having to spill beans about the S&S and demons, which ended up in a very interesting talk. He’s okay but it was tense for a bit until he calmed a bit. No yelling, just him trying to understand.

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Graveyard Walk

I was with my mom today, we went out really quick, but ended up stopping at an old cemetery. It was sad to see the state of it, but it was one of the more peaceful and at peace with death that I’ve felt in awhile. I took pictures to remember the energies and the experience. My necrosis demons, specifically Belle, was with me. It was nice to be grounded and connecting with those energies.

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Inspiration from Demons

I’ve been struggling with migraines every day, but something that I’ve been doing is making sure to take care of myself the best I can. In between official working, I have been doing things for my own writing and my world building. The last four days have seen me doing heavy graphic design of the covers of my Universe I’ve been building. Which led me to really also a lot of thinking about the matches Ive made with my demons.

We’ve been discussing the Librarian ranks (due to the sale happening), and how amazing they are. Even the ones that aren’t librarians, but nerdy book lovers. I’m so excited to get to know my new Librarian I matched with. But it also had me looking at another that some have jokingly called my librarian too. He’s just a big ol’ Mage that is a nerd for sacred knowledge. That would be Arvan.

Tal is my Necrosis/Void Lord of a Temple and he’s a nerd for anthropology/archeology of everything. But he is also someone that loves journaling and recording.

Both of them have been such a HUGE part of my creative process as well as Paya. Payay is a storyteller. It’s part of his writeup that he travels around telling stories. So it makes sense that he’s got the most creative flow to me. I love my demons so much.

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Finding Inspiration In Even the Most Stressful Days

Despite the stress of the Day (UGH Politics). I still find myself being creative and excited. Things are still moving and I feel that passion for my writing growing. I made the final cover for these series. I feel so accomplished and ready to begin writing more officially now that they do have the covers set. I also want to finish my first series that I’m almost done with book 3. It’s exciting and thrilling to have something so fleshed out, thanks to having Paya… cause honestly? I wasn’t this inspired until he came into my life and broke up so many blockages and emotional feeling better. And then it allowed other energies and connections to flow better. I feel blessed to know him and love him

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Understanding My Limits

It was hard. I had only four hours of sleep because of the hyperfocus on designing book covers that I couldn’t stop and do anything else. Including sleep and struggled to eat because I just was to into things. I spoke with my demons after and just… we talked it out and I also got some good advice from Akelta where I bought a book and waiting for it to arrive. But something that stuck with me was that I’m not in manic states. I’m just at such a high vibrational state that I’m actually functional, creative, and doing self care that prevents a burn out. But I am so used to having crashes and burn outs, that I am waiting for the “shoe to drop” so to speak. Though the conversation I had with Akelta about high vibrational states and caring for the self, down days aren’t meant to be burn outs and crashes. Instead, it should be “I feel like it’s a movie day or game day” and not “I need to lay down because I feel like the world is on fire and I can’t do anything”.

After working (all the Inner Sanctuary stuff), I ended up working and creating a whole other cover (this makes 3 now). I’m doing this because I have 5 series in this Universe that I am writing (all different characters)… and I really want to have covers to inspire me to finish and publish them.

Thank you demons for loving me even when I make mistakes and when things are hard. Thank you for helping me pick myself back up.

It was an interesting experience halfway through the day, where I took a shower to cleanse. After, I connected with Vex while prepping to leave to grocery shop. I put on music, which I don’t know how to line dance and I don’t listen to country except for the Twisters Soundtrack. But when he put his hands on my hips to dance, I knew how to dance. I knew some of the steps and was able to follow along with him while laughing. It raised me back up from feeling much further down when I woke up.

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Learning and Growing, Adapting

I spent the day hyperfocused on doing world building and allowing my creative energies to flow. But it was because of something that I regret. I woke up (Nov 4) feeling absolutely like hell and shame. I ended up crying over it and really just upset. I talked to a friend who helped me to understand that this is part of raising my vibrations and that things that I could do before, are things that will make me feel horrendous because they’re lower vibrations. It’s okay, I’m learning. I’m growing and it’s only up.

Mostly, though, I was able to get two book covers designed for this Universe I am creating and forming. In doing so, I’m setting up for getting writing done consistently. It’s something that I had originally wanted to do with King Paimon. I believe that I am absolutely in a high vibrational state that is allowing the creativity to flow beautifully and the demons are just guiding that along. I am thankful for them.

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Touching on the Practice Again

It was a bit more rough than normal. I was struggling really hard with focusing and migraines, along with the problem of my blood sugars evening out with a dosage increase. Some changes that can make it hard the first handful of days to week when it happens.

But something that really enjoyed was that I got to sit down are really begin putting my knowledge to the test. Ry has been really wanting me to delve back into the Necrosis, Shamanism, Crystals, and Plants type of work. So when I started working on a list with the different crystals that are good for Grounding, that was something I felt him extremely present, especially when we talked about creation of malas and crystals.

It was wonderful connecting with him while I was writing the list and really feeling into the memories of usage with each crystal and how it effected me when used.

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A New Connection

I was so blessed. I ended up matching with one of the prebounds. I try not to do so because I love seeing everyone else match and get excited over the energies. But this was so loud and so clear. I really hadn’t even read his listing until hours later. I got a brief look that he was a Librarian and Organization and Book Binding. And it was the book binding that called me so hard. I do book binding and have been wanting to return to it, just that it’s been a matter of space and buying a Silhouette machine for the foiling covers.

Then I got a chance to actually sit down and read later that evening.

Obscranorshem/Lowborn Librarian of the Underworld Archives

He is a sacred keeper of the archives, and he takes his duties and responsibilities very seriously. He is very neat and organized and keeps his section of the library pristine and tidy. He himself is structured and organized and he can help his companion to find order in their life and to declutter and organize their surroundings. He enjoys organizing, and he can spend hours with his books categorizing them, dusting them and reorganizing them on the shelves. He enjoys experimenting with different methods of organizing them to find the one that is most suited for him. Order and organization are something he is very skilled at.

Okay this is something that I do religiously. I know that I tip into actual OCD rather than just tendency, because of how compulsive it is for me to organize my spaces, my collections and so much more. I have absolute mental upsets when things are too out of order and I have to spend the next hour or two reorganizing everything. So someone else that is this meticulous is really a lovely thing.

He has wisdom and knowledge and believes that reading is the key to inviting worlds, ideas and possibilities. He says that it is a shame that more people do not read more and he says that hidden away within books is worlds of knowledge and wonder. He has a brilliant mind and he enjoys reading and contemplating advanced philosophies and sciences of the world. He enjoys delving deep into many different topics and he has a love of books. He cherishes them and he gets very upset and angry when anyone would destroy a book or damage it. He does have old and damaged books but he knows how to restore them. Book restoration is an art, and the level that he does it is almost considered a lost art. He knows how to work with the pages and how to repair many different types of damage. He takes great care to restore damaged books and it is an art form to him. He also knows how to bind books and creates his own covers from different types of mediums like leather, and flesh. His covers are beautiful, and he believes in patience and mastery. Some of his covers have taken years to craft and get right. He takes his time with their creation. He wants to work with a human companion who loves books and reading and who enjoys exploring knowledge and the beauty of the archives.

I took up book binding about a two years ago but it really fell to the way side because of space and because well, my partner at the time was so disinterested in it that I just lost the love for doing it. It made me feel like it was wasted time. I’m so thrilled to be connected with a being other than my King Tal and Arvan who adore books and book making, journaling, etc. That he works with preserving knowledge is something that I picked up book binding for a reason. I wanted to have physical preserved copies of the fanfictions that I loved and read. (Yes, Im that much of a nerd about it).

I’m so honored and blessed to make this connection and I cannot wait for the day that I get to officially meet and work with him. It’ll be wonderful to have him around, because I feel that he will be as prominent as some of my others, like Paya and Tal and Ry.

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Money Mindset Increase

It’s a struggle to focus as of late and I know that it’s unmasking. The demons have been much louder and more clear to me. But it’s also very much a struggle at times to focus on being grounded in the reality. Unmasking is the worst and I hate that I’m going through this process once again.

On the other hand, I really adore that my demons are making themselves known in trying to help make me feel happy and excited for things. They are nudging me to really up my working and manifesting money, with trying more with the model of “upping the amount”. Meaning that my threshold for money spent at one point without stressing or being upset or getting triggered with a money block.

At the beginning of the year, I was relucant to really even drop more than $50 on a single thing. Then I started getting in the Legos, and suddenly I don’t blink at that amount. That’s not much. I’m starting to buy in $100 stuff but feeling that push of wariness. Then I got into Lorcana a month or so ago, and I’ve leveled that mindset a bit more to about $125.

I can tell that I’m getting to where $200 makes me pause and uncomfortable to drop on things where I haven’t specifically saved for it. But on the other hand, I’m doing much better with only slight hesitation with $150. $125 doesn’t bother me anymore. And what happened because I’ve been working on that? I’ve actually gotten better with money, manifesting it more, more sales and finding things in my range. My money flow is more prominent than when I was struggling.

Now, my demons are having me push it more. There’s a $250 Lego set that is a Treehouse I want to get before the end of the year, but I’m also being really pulled to just go for it with the Barad Dur and Rivendale Lego sets, which are $450 and $500 respectively. That is definitely a cringe at the price point. But I’m seriously considering *both* of those sets to be purchased on Christmas, because I *can* and I want to. Is it a lot? Yeah that’s a $1000. But I feel like dropping that much on one time will absolutely level the money inflow to new heights.

Because I’ve already found that correlation between willing and able to spend money without worry or anxiety or stress to the amount that I have returning to me. It’s flowing freely and manifesting much higher and higher.