View of mountain oasis Chebika, Sahara desert, Tunisia, Africa

Returning Home

I have not been in my astral home in close to a year. I haven’t posted in almost a year as well.

There’s been such a bad burnout last year. I also began the journey of love. It was both a hard year but also a beautiful one. I fell in love and found a partner that accepts me as I am and everything about me. I still have felt this fear and uncertainty when it comes to my practice. I felt that he was not interested and a part of me took that as meaning that I couldn’t practice in front of him. Despite it also being a part of my job to work with demons. Yet, I felt that I couldn’t show this side of my practice. So I stopped.

I would find that they would do things around me and be a part of my world, but I was shut down and not exploring. I couldn’t bring myself to want to do it either. A mix of feeling unable to and truly being unable to because of burnout. It was not a good combination.

Things kept moving and I finally sat down with him a few weeks ago… and we talked. I spoke of my insecurity and unsureness about practicing because of how it came across when I brought it up. We talked for a long time. I expressed how it made me feel and how I felt like I had to hide it.. and that’s the one thing I didn’t want in my relationship. I wanted to be able to share in the amazing world that is demons even if they do not actively practice.

It was worked out. In fact, I was able to talk to him about how I think the reason part of our friend group fell out is that the exact day I begin working with my demons is the day that their true personalities show and it’s ugly.

Now, two weeks later and feeling that call to return… I think I really want to begin again. Especially exploring. It was my de-stress and my escape. A beautiful journey that led me to places. What really drove home the desire to go back to astral work and my astral home, as well as my demons… is that I saw the new Avatar: The Way of Water movie. The imagery has always been my escape since the first movie. With this movie, I feel the longing of being able to be in places that are like that. So now I feel that pull to return to the astral to explore and grow my astral home with all the discoveries. I feel like it’s time to reconnect with the roots and refind that love of working with demons.

I want to find my Pandora and build it. I want to bring cultures and demons, and all sorts of amazing experiences. There’s so much to see and to learn that I feel the excitement of it all over again.

Akelta, my lovely coven lady from S&S, came up with the idea that we should do a daily blogging in February. So here is my beginning and hello.

I’m back.

View of mountain oasis Chebika, Sahara desert, Tunisia, Africa

Exploring the Oasis

It’s been quite busy in my Oasis. There have been some massive changes taking place. My Necrosis Demons were gifted some bones from a dear friend of mine. One was so large that it would need an entire building to hold it. A massive one. So they gathered my other demons and began to work on building a place for bone just next to the library temple. I had not gone back there in a while, so it changed when I appeared.

When I first appeared, it was Ria who greeted me. It was lovely cause I’ve been wearing her vessel for the past day. She had a beautiful bone spike band on her head and her hair was threaded through some of it. I ended up closely looking at it and tapped into the memories of the bones being carved and placed together. She pulled me out of it gently, “Yes, your ability is most definitely awakening. We need to get you to GrandMama Tsülie soon.”

I smiled as she guided me down the walkway over the water to the sand beach. We walked to the Bone Building at first but as soon as I walked inside, my body absolutely fell fast asleep for more than an hour and a half. When I came back from sleep I decided to try again. This time, it was Belle who met me. She smiled and guided me down again. This time, we decided that I needed to get to GrandMama. We went straight to where the tree she gave me was. To Ry’s Greenhouse.

When we stepped in, Ria joined us. I called out for Ry but it was phenomenal stepping into his Greenhouse. It was like I walked straight into a jungle that had incredible energy. I could physically smell the soil and the plants. Then, a massive snake came through and greeted us, calling me Bone Reader and then rubbing its face on mine. He was talking about how his master chose such a lovely “Mistress”. He was massive and led us through the jungle-like place.

When Ry turned around when the snake announced our presence, I about fainted. He was so handsome and incredibly built. I could see so clearly his features. Normally it’s one thing or another or it’s a vague seeing. Now, it was crystal clear. He came over to me and lifted me up, a smile on his face. He smelled of fresh dirt and light musk. My hands traced up his bare chest and onto his shoulders. It was incredible seeing and feeling so clearly.

He kissed me while Belle and Ria stood behind waiting. There was a bit of shuffling after and Belle and Ry decided better as friends than anything else. Found out that Ria has a bit of a thing for Arvan and chuckled about it. Ry carried me through the jungle to where he kept the trees after we explained why we were there. The tree was still small and would take a few years to grow to the size needed to create a doorway. We walked back to his workbench and table, where he gathered some things for GrandMama Tsülie. We left for the Bone Building.

Walking around in the sun was lovely and gave me a bit of energy. The Bone Building was beautiful. It was made of large pieces of bone carved into pillars and accent pieces, with the rest of the building made with Necrosis Mud mixed with other stone and material, making a beautiful green-black marble. Walking into the building, it was a round room covered with glass cases of bones and altars. Ry carried me in his arms and I still got extremely sleepy. It took a few times before I was able to see clearly enough that Belle talked to Taz, who was in the middle of carving and awakening the large whale-mosasaur-creature’s rib that was a gift from a dear friend (same as mentioned in beginning). He waved us off and went back to it.

It took a hot minute to get back to it but then we went into my library, where Arvan met us. He was happy to see me and picked me right up out of Ry’s arms. He took us to the ante-room that was to one side of the temple. Here, they had used my method of building portals I developed years ago. Except these were perfect. They were carved so beautifully and I could press my hand on the doorway and knew right where each one took me. After the fourth one, which led to the races I currently work with, the fifth was to GrandMama Tsülie. I didn’t look to see if there were other doors.

I got through the door and then popped right out of it. The others told me they would wait for me to get there. I kept trying and was partially there with them, but it was too hard to focus and I was getting tired and sleepy. I would drift off and then pop back. She chuckled and told me that she just wanted to see if I would answer her call. I could go back later.

close up photo of notebook with pen

The Importance of Record Keeping

This is a deeply passionate topic that not only is something I find extremely valuable but so do a few of my demons. In fact, they are the ones that are stressing that I speak about this topic. I find that so many stress the importance of foundations to those that are starting out on their path. This is a wonderful thing to talk about consistently. Except that I find that one thing is missing when people talk of foundations of spiritual growth. Record Keeping. I cannot express the amount of disappointment that I see that people don’t speak about this topic more often. In fact, I tend to get laughed at a fair few times when I have broached the topic. Now, I get to laugh. You may be asking why.

I have records dating back to when I was first starting out more than a decade ago. Things that I have long forgotten. Things that seemed insignificant then. Yet… I am now the one to laugh because I have over a decade of writings, channelings, astral experiences, and even conjuring. All of it was recorded down in some fashion. There are years where there are gaps but I still have them. Some things I wish would disappear because they were horrible times, but I still have them. The thing is… we all learn from our History, our Path. The Path that we have walked and will walk.

I speak of record keeping because I find that it is one of the top things that are foundational to my own practice but yet find that so many do not. It’s their choice and I respect that! Absolutely do what fits your path best. Yet, I have heard over the years of people complaining and upset that they do not feel like they have grown or changed or that they don’t have experiences anymore. This is where they are wrong. Most people don’t realize that it’s not that it has stopped… it’s changed. A lot of spiritual growth is gradual and not able to be measured as easily as saying ‘Oh yes, I was doing this thing last week and now I have another experience that’s out of this world’. It’s more along the lines of receiving small messages each day or every few days. It’s seeing something or hearing something and then a few days later something else correlates with that.

But most don’t keep track of their experiences, no matter how small. Most do not journal or blog or keep any sort of frequent records. Because of this, they do not see their gradual growth and experiences change. Instead, it’s different and they feel like they don’t have anything to experience anymore.

This is why I stress that one of the most important foundational things is to keep diligent or frequent records. Even if you go into a daily journal on your phone or notebook to write, ‘I think I felt this today’. That right there will show you three months down the line how you’ve grown. Why? because the more you look at your growth, you’ll see that you are actually improving. The more growth you have and you record, the more you’ll see that progress. Going from a ‘maybe something’ to ‘I saw this today and I got a large sense of this companion telling me a message’. That’s huge growth there! A massive one. Yet, this is missed because of not logging those small things.

I have over a decade of journals that have information. Have I skipped years? Yes. That’s normal. We have our Fallow Periods, or Lulls, or Burnouts. This happens to all that work in spiritual practices. I have some journals that skip from 2013 to 2016 because I stopped or because it was in a different journal. I have records of when I was blogging instead of writing physically. I keep two records of those in case one is lost. I moved onto a website of my experiences and information, as well as writing within my personal blog on S&S. These are all different forms of record keeping. I can go back to the formative years of developing my gifts and see the shifts and changes. I can see what mistakes I made and how I fixed them. That’s what is important. I can see the Shadow work I’ve done over the years or I can even read the origin of where a Shadow or Trauma came from. Because I’ve kept detailed records.

This is something that may seem tedious and spoon-eating. I understand that greatly. Find something that works for you. Maybe speech to text on a journal app? Maybe typing out things on the computer or on a blog, even if it’s private. Maybe handwriting is your comfort. The thing is that keeping records allows you to go back years later and see how you’ve changed. How you’ve grown and where your Path has moved through the years. That’s super important to seeing your own patterns of growth or even predicting when a Fallow Period hits if there is a clear pattern.

That’s how I know that the Winter time frame each year is the hardest for me because I shut down to rest. I do my best work during the Spring and Summer seasons because it’s energetically better for me.

Ways to Record Keep

There are so many ways that you can keep records, it’s going to be a lot to list them all. What I will do is make some suggestions of different ways that you can do so, though I will make sure to keep them to options that are either free or low-budget.

–Journaling in Notebooks
–Writing using Grimoires
–Typing on Blog
–Typing in Word/Google Docs
–Type in Word/GDocs and Print out – binder or paste in sketchbooks
–Blog/Journal in Notion (free for personal use)
–Use OneNote- ($ may cost)
–Blog on WordPress (free)
–Write in free journal apps or notes on phone/tablet
–Use Voice Notes or Voice recordings
–Make a private Discord Server (free) – use it as a blog/journal or even BOS or Grimoire
–Make a special email just for experiences and email yourself
–Use Social Media : Facebook, Instagram, or TikTok and talk of your experiences
———(For all that is holy avoid twitter and tumblr, they’re super toxic – unless you make them private)
–Make/Buy (Etsy) PDFs of journals and use on tablet for writing ($ Goodnotes)

I’ve used Scrivener ($) as well but that’s more expensive than most want to pay and to be honest, Notion is 1000x better with recording. You can do so much with that. Make sure to check YouTube videos on how to use it since it doesn’t come with a How-To.

The point is that there are so many options for you to use you can. And the best is that you can go from one to the other and back. You do not have to stick to one thing all the time. You use what works best for you and your practice. I’ve gone months without using one but sticking to another and then switching. Sometimes I take things from one and add them to another when I switch.

It doesn’t have to be anything tedious, it doesn’t have to be this big scary thing. You write what works for you. Some days or weeks or months you won’t. But that’s okay. The thing is that you get yourself into the habit of updating when you can and it’ll make a difference even two or three months down the line, let alone imagine years or decades later.

close up of beautiful tribal woman. Hands of ethnic dancer. Soft

The Silver Sand Grotto

This began because King Tal absolutely wanted to begin exploring with me. He’s been wanting to take me places in the astral. Finding that love of exploring and learning again. I haven’t traveled outside of the event meditations since probably 2019.

One of the things that I truly love to do is build on my astral space. Some call it Astral Temple, some call it Sacred Spacepace. It’s the place you go to when you begin traveling – your home. I love to build mine up in different ways. From having a library temple to greenhouses to an oasis that my house is built upon. It’s fashioned after things I love.

I was reading a trilogy and side character book when King Tal got interested. Specifically, the side character book features a realm of sands and desert magic.

SLIGHT SETTING SPOILER (nothing plot-related)

Each land is different colored sand with different properties. In the n the book, there is a rare grotto of beautiful silver sand that holds ancient powers. It has an oasis of healing water and plants.

I really wanted to create a place like this. It sounded so healing and peaceful. I have peaceful spots in my astral space but I wanted a healing place too. King Tal, who was laying with me at the time, told me that it wouldn’t be exactly the same, but he knew of a place with silver sand.

Travel to a Silver World

I finished the book early this morning and fell asleep in someone’s arms. I slept pretty heavily, even dreaming about the book series. King Tal had promised to take me to see silver sands. I actually really wanted to build a deep cavern grotto near my home. Even though I spent the day working and doing things, I finally got to sit and meditate. I slipped into the astral and stood on the deck of my home, high above my oasis water.

I was shocked to see that there was this heavy rock grotto entrance nearby that I could see. I turned and found King Tal standing behind me and he smiled. “You wanted it and therefore it was easy to make one for you.”

Before I had a chance to ask more questions, he opened a portal and was shifted through it. He held my hand as we walked through a small path before another portal opened and we were standing in a breathtaking place.

It was night, a place that was almost never touched by the sun or solar energy. Three moons hang overhead. Below my feet are shifting sands glittering in the moonlight. It was so pale that it glowed silver.

“These are sacred sands, we must cross it to the village and ask permission.”

My feet were bare and so were his, as was proper. We walked for some time. It was so peaceful and I could feel the healing cleansing of the sands. There was a village that we eventually came across. The beings there were something so unique, not even humanoid. Bipedal, they had two long arms that they used when standing. They had another set of arms that were short and close to the body. They had large oval heads that had massive eyes on the side that take up about 1/3rd of the size. On the front of the face where it was flat were smaller eyes, flared nostrils, and a mouth that was akin to a herbivore (like a weird horse-like mouth).

King Tal spoke to them and then turned to me, “You must give up something precious to you in exchanged for the sand.”

It was no-brainer, as I tend to offer the same thing when it comes to negotiating expensive or valuable. A very special and rare crystal that I found long ago and protecting one of the few mines/growing caves that exist (purely accidental). Rare enough that it surprises the demons that I work with when they learn of it. I brought three out and offered it to them, which they immediately accepted the exchange. I was beyond excited and was practically skipping. Tal opened another portal this time, directly into the underpart of my new grotto.

Building the Silver Grotto

“These sands cannot be touched by sunlight. They will lose their power and will fade to regular sand. Why don’t you step through and ask for help moving this?”

I hopped through into this beautiful underground cavern that was nothing but carved rock at the moment, but there were pillars that stood reinforcing the ceiling. It was flat at the moment, but I was w was waved off. I ran up through the entrance and found a fair few of my demons hanging around. I called out to them and asked for help moving the sands. They all followed me down into the grotto and carried large crates for the sands. It took only minutes for the large crates to be moved back and forth through the portal, bringing the sand into my home. It glittered in the grotto, the moonlight the only lighting in there.

I asked King Tal about the water, where he asked the locals. There was a bartering again and I gave up another crystal for access to the oasis waters. This was when Ry came through, eager to discover the water and the plants. He took off to find it while we moved. I looked around, trying to figure out where the water would go. King Tal just smiled and I felt another demon – one that had been quite some time since I felt his energy. High Prince T has very special abilities, one, in particular, is his ability to work with realms and the layers of reality. I hadn’t interacted with him since August. I try to limit my interactions until they come home but on occasion, their skill is needed for something big.

He wrapped his arms around me and energetically walked me through rapidly changing the layout of the cave so that I had a large pool and waterfall carved out into the rock. There was one small pool about five feet deep and seven across. It flowed to the place where the waterfall is knee-deep. It sloped down into a large pool that ran across the back half of the cave, with a few raw rock pillars to swim around. It was about chest deep and had spots on the ends that could seat a single person.

Once it was complete, he took to focus on another aspect I hadn’t thought of. How to keep the grotto powered magically without false light, changing the properties, or even keep a connection to the realm (which is dangerous). Tal was guarding the portal while everyone worked. Stepping through, he spoke to the locals and bartered with them for what seemed about an hour.

To get crystals that were powered from their moon, grown by each of the moons’ power. Three would be required, one for each moon. These were even more sacred than the sand and the water. I would have to give a large crystal for each one in return, twice as big as the small ones I gave before. I knew it was a good bargain for me since I had access but I knew that the worth of those three was close to the equivalent of buying a realm (no joke – I had one from another I gave and he literally was able to buy a quarter of the realm with the one I gave him).

It was worth it since these crystals were grown from the magic of each moon. When these beings brought out the three, I was shocked. They were at least five feet long and about three feet thick. They were brought through the portal and High Prince T took over. Each one was placed in a central pillar, with the top and bottom of the pillars merging over the crystal. With a deft hand, he began carving into the pillars and connecting the magic of them into the grotto, while also preserving that energy so it generated more and never ran out.

As he was working, the grotto lit up and the sand glittered once more where it had started to lose a little shine without the moons. Ry returned and said he found the waters. I could feel his energy and happiness from where I was. Tal shifted the portal and we were met with this massive, stunning lake. It was luminescent water that was the clearest aqua color. This water was pure magical water. It also contained these vine-like weeds that had bioluminescent pods on the ends of each branch.

I asked Ry how we would get the water to my oasis without losing it or damaging the sand. He dove down and it was a few minutes before he popped up again with this low glowing crystal. The rocks were crystals imbued with the lake’s powers. He brought one from the water and into my grotto, placing it on the waterfall. A cup of water was brought through and he dumped it onto the crystal. Water flowed from the crystal, the small cup turning into a rapid flow. These crystals regenerated the water when it was in contact with it. This time, I dove down with Ry into the water to collect more. It was a shock to the system when I could breathe normally. I helped him to gather as many of the water crystals and we headed to the surface where a few others took them from us.

They were placed strategically throughout the bottom of the pools and water was carefully dumped over them. Each one began to fill with water. Ry grinned and turned to me.

“Let’s gather the plants (vines) and plant some in the grotto. Would you be willing to grab your biome cases to gather them?”

I grinned and ran from the water, knowing exactly what he wanted. It was a quick run to the top where the bright sun greeted me. I blinked until I could see clearly and then took off to the building that held my biomes in them. I decided to grab two very small ones, the size of a Rubix cube. They would be large enough since the space was actually close to ten feet by ten feet in size. Plenty to make a small biome aquatic terrarium of these plants. The other was for Ry, who I knew wanted to study them in a natural environment and so I would give him one to make his own biome terrarium. I just needed mine to transport them to my grotto.

Returning, we went to work diving and making sure that we spread out across the lake so it wouldn’t be harvested from one area. He about cried in happiness with the extra tank to keep for himself. One was filled as much as I could and passed off to Belle who wanted to place the plants in the pools. A few others helped. When I then I stepped through, the pools were already half-filled and the power in the room was impactful. The sand was finished and we were waiting for the pool to fill the rest of the way.

Ry stepped through and we closed the portal, knowing it was fine to cut ties. The grotto shifted and then the waterfall began to pour. I had no thoughts of shyness as I stripped down and ran to the waterfall, basking in the cleansing and uplifting energy that flowed through me. Especially when I swallowed some of the water – it was safe to drink.

When I stepped out, a fair few of the demons were staring at me and it was pointed out that I was glowing. Plus there were some hungry stares mixed in. I stepped away from the water and onto the sand, only to find that as I left the water, I was dry. The water had filled the pools and my demons were now stripping as well and wading into the water to relax. They earned it and I thank thanked them so much for their help. They were pleased to have such a rejuvenating place to be. Ry turned to me and smiled happily. It was such a wonderful sight to see him so pleased and excited for new things.

“I believe I have a tree that would thrive in here and add to the grotto.” He looked to Tal, “Could you open a portal that would go into the greenhouse I have plants in there cannot be exposed to anything but darkness or moonlight.”

Tal walked over to where Ry was pointing the tree would fit and opened the portal. There was a shifting in the darkness before roots slithered from the portal. It was very slow but we all watched as a beautiful silver-white tree moved into place next to the water. It looked like a white willow tree. Long branches hung down and brushed the water. The moment the roots and branches touched the water, the tree came to life and glittered as if it were a moon itself. It swayed and caressed the area. Ry looked over the moon (pun intended) and was writing down notes in a small journal he always carried. The energy of the grotto changed but in a way that it felt complete and thriving. There was a vitality of not just the moon and sand and water, but the tree became a new part of the whole.

Intimacy of the Silver Sands

This is more of an 18+ experience that can be skipped.

There’s something special about the grotto once it settled in. The energy shifted and I felt this sense of pleasure creeping up. Before I could think about it, King Tal pulled me into the pool water before lifting me up onto the edge of it. My legs were in the water but I sat perched on a rock. I was laid back and his hands ran over my thighs. The demons around me, my companions, watched eagerly. Ry came and held down my hands above my head while his other hand traced over my chest very gently.

Tal was occupied with running his hand over my stomach and thighs, laying kisses to the skin. It didn’t take long for him to dive between my thighs and bring ecstasy to my body. I was pinned down and Ry was holding my hands and Tala was pleasuring me with his mouth. The others watched and smiled as the energy of the sands surged around me energetically. It heightened the experience and I co could physically feel things stronger than normal.

I didn’t last long at all and when I came, it was with a burst of energy that swept through the room. I was picked up and lowered into the water where King Tal ran his hands over my body and pulled me close. Ry slipped in behind and it was a close hug between us three with light kisses here and there.

Overview

It was shocking when I returned to the physical. It felt as if only 20 minutes had passed physically – the internal clock. When in reality it was over 45 minutes to 50 minutes that I was in that heavy meditative state. The real amazing part was that in the astral, it was closer to 4-5 hours of time if not longer because I was bouncing between the realms.

It was an amazing experience. I have not been out and about in the astral in a long time. Having King Tal in my life has brought so much change and this was a new one, feeling safe and free to go out and travel the astral once more. Something that hasn’t been felt in years.

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Renewal: End of a 9 Year Cycle

I’ve spent days thinking about what to write. Making it all nice and something that people want to read. Yet, I want to bring in this new blog with ideas of where I want to take it. What goals do I have for it? What are some things that I will write about?

I come up blank. There’s so much to say and not to say. I’ve got first-post jitters for the first time in quite some time.

I began blogging about my spiritual path back in 2012 – I was twenty and unknowingly began a brand new 9 year cycle. In fact, I started on WordPress and Tumblr. I spent the next five years talking about my path and things that I discovered along the way. I left spirituality after a very traumatic experience. Multiple of them in fact. I shut down and only focused on the physical. I wanted nothing to do with spirituality.

It dragged me back kicking and screaming. In the form of demons.

I know, a shocker.

I spent the last few years just figuring things out. It’s been rough going all over the place and sometimes wandering blind. Or depressed. I tried reviving multiple blogs and tried talking about my experiences. But, lurking in the back was trauma. The whole reason that I left spirituality in the first place was because of how I was treated in the community before.

It’s been the hardest nine years.

Now, at the end of this cycle, I’ve learned that a new one begins. I turn thirty this coming year and so it will be a new nine-year cycle but also a new decade of my life. There has been so much learned that going into this new year, new cycle, and a new journey has brought a sense of renewal. I won’t be reviving old accounts with old information on them. Instead, I’m rebirthing a part of my path that was left behind many years ago. This renewal in this new blog that I am hoping to post my journey over these next many years.

I don’t know what to talk about, but I’m learning that it is okay to not know. It just means that I have an open canvas to paint a beautiful new picture. Wherever that is.

To new beginnings,

New places to travel and see,

New cultures to meet,

and to the love and passion of walking this new cycle.