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The Start of Questions

Partial cheating, I’m yoinking some of what was written in the Discord’s new topics for the Demon Shamanism. Mainly because it was the thought train that Ry wants me to follow and think on.

It’ll be curious as to how some of the concepts translate or don’t. For example the different concepts of the Upper/Middle/Lower Worlds for some of the shamanic practices and if that’s more along the lines of different planes, does it even happen for demons at all or they seek different types of guidance instead of ancestral/spirits/animals since they have direct access to commune with them in the OSW… it’s a whole lot to explore and to think on.

With Earth Shamanism, we have a separation of the Profane and the Sacred (Physical vs. Spiritual) and most aren’t connected with that or access it easily. Hence Shamans here are taught how to reach those levels of Sacred to ascend from the Profane. Now the question lies.. from what we understand of the OSW and Demons, they are both Profane and Sacred, able to interact with the Sacred in a day-to-day level, able to interact with the Dead/Ancestors/Energies without needing to ascend per se into a Sacred vibration in order to experience. So the question lies in.. If they experience that level Sacred on a Profane level, to which purpose does a Shaman provide if everyone has the ability to do exactly that. Who do they contact for answer or healing or teaching, if they are all able to live within the Sacred?

With there being a level of connection being different or deeper depending on the individual, it is questioning to think if you have an entire society that is based around the ability to interact with the Sacred as most demons have the capability to do so on some level – unlike humans that are completely separate except for a small amount – then exactly where does that level of Sacred run deeper or how exactly would it be deeper?

I definitely think that’s where it’s exploring that line of where does the sacred and profane sit within the demons/OSW since their reality is radically different from ours. They are surrounded by the ability to travel to realms, to project themselves, to commune with the dead, etc. Even those that are unranked experience these things to some degree. So looking at what is their base line of going from what is their “normal” to the spiritual/sacred, if most of them have the capability to perform those things.

I think it’ll just be exploring more to see what layers and understanding is of how shamanism and shamans function on their levels of reality and existence. How that impacts on how they connect and understand their own workings within that frame too.

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Understanding Shamanism At Its Core

Strap in, this is a LONG one. Ry got his way. In the form of my mother literally handing me 10 pages of handwritten notes from multiple books on Shamanism – definitions and explanations, that I wrote during my college days.

I’ve been sitting on this one for awhile. Ry asked me to understand where to start with learning Demonic Shamanism by examining my current knowledge and conceptualization of what Shamanism is here on Earth. So what exactly is Shamanism? What defines being a shaman?

That’s a really extensive answer, in truth. One that I have been learning for more than seven years. I spent the last half of my college Anthropology degree studying Shamanism and Indigenous Practices. Understanding it through the eyes of many cultures. And that’s where the beginning starts.

Shamanism is an umbrella term for a specific type of practice and belief. There is the root word that Shaman stems from, which is from the Tungus word šaman meaning “to know”. It encompasses dozens if not hundreds of Indigenous beliefs and practices. In fact, there is now two sections that sit underneath the Shamanism term. Traditional Shamanism and Neo-Shamanism. Traditional Shamanism has those underneath it categorized as Indigenous in origin. Neo-Shamanism is relatively new (20th Century), with the concepts of Traditional Shamanism applied in a more ‘modern’ and open way of interacting with certain practices and beliefs.

I’ll elaborate on that.

Traditional Shamanism has so many underneath that umbrella term. This is where you will find the Greenlandic Angakkuq, the Andean P’akkos, and much more. Each Indigenous Culture has a version of a Shaman in some form, though it goes by many names. The Hollywoodization of the American Nations Tribes have boiled most people’s basic knowledge to the term ‘Medicine Man’. Which in of itself is a whole host of irregularities due to the fact that every single Nations Tribe has their own language and word specifically for that role.

You may be asking then, what exactly is a Shaman? If there are so many names and practices, how can so many of them be called the same thing?

The answer to that is that Shaman and Shamanism are umbrella terms that describe a specific set of qualities that fit a defined practice. The concept behind a Shaman is that it is a role within a community where a person is a mediator between the profane (physical/mundane) realm and the sacred (spiritual/Other) realm – usually in which this person interacts with spirits in some fashion.

If we want to get further into it, we can do so with the purpose behind these mediators or shamans. They are the ones that have the tasks to create understanding of chaos in the profane world by traveling to the spiritual world to receive answers in their encounters. Most of these Indigenous societies had relatively close connections with Nature. In order to better understand the forces that were unpredictable (disasters, famine, etc), they would have a shaman work with the Other or Spirits in order to receive messages on how to handle and reduce the fear of those chaotic forces. These were also those who served the role of Healer for both individuals and the society as a whole.

According to Mircea Eliade, a religious Historian that studied Shamans and Shamanism, he boils the word down to a single concept: Shamanism as an umbrella term has been broadened to cover any practice world wide that has any attempt to contact the spirit-world. I don’t quite agree with this. I think that in order to qualify, it cannot be done just as connection with the spirit-world. I believe that to be qualified as a Shaman and Shamanism, it must be done through a ritualistic practice and method.

This point leads into the conversation of what Neo-Shamanism is. It’s a late 20th Century development from Michael Harner. He describes a Shaman as “a person who journey’s to the spirits, seeking them out in their own world and remaining in control during the time spent there”. Harner goes onto explaining that for Neo-Shamanism, “everyone is his or her own prophet, getting spiritual revelation directly from the highest sources”. He has worked to explain that it [Neo-Shamanism] “has been created… to establish a link for modern man to his spiritual roots, to re-introduce shamanic behavior into the lives of Westerners in search of spirituality, and thereby, renew contact with Nature”.

For me, I lean on the Traditional Shamanism side, with that it is something that is kept within a sacred and revered role. This is not a popular view with those that seek Neo-Shamanism, in which they believe that anyone can practice and become a Shaman in their own right. Whereas, I believe in the Traditional stance that a person is chosen and does not have a choice. You are chosen through the society or community you come from, which is why it is within Indigenous societies, or you are chosen by the Spirits or Ancestors. There is no choice when you are chosen for it through the Ancestors or Spirits, where there may be some flexibility with the societal promotion to the role.

I do believe that there are those that are drawn to the communities and to the traditional shamanism path because the Spirits/Ancestors are guiding them to the Traditional Shamans. For example, Andean P’akkos are some of the few that will take on mentees that come to them wishing to learn to become a Shaman or walk a Shamanic path.

That leads to the next part of understanding. What is the difference between Shaman and Shamanic. Shaman is the person in which is slotted into the role of the mediator or healer, they are initiated and taught how to step into that role. They are the ones who are chosen to walk that path and do so. Shamanic is an aspect or utilizing beliefs that one walks while they practice. So you would walk a Shamanic path if you believed in Animism and communing with the Guides and Spirits, working with plant spirits to provide healing, and so much more.

It all cycles back to the whole point of writing this. Understanding Ry’s question: What is Shamanism at it’s core?

It’s understanding the role in which a person plays within a community or a path, where they have connection to the spirit world, that they can make sense of the profane world through those connections and encounters.

Ry then now asks me, “That is your understanding of Shamanism at it’s core for Earth Shamans. Then, if you take that core concept and translate that understanding to the Demonic Energies and Vibrations, what is Demonic Shamanism?”

That is my next task. I must sit with this base understanding, which honestly goes much deeper than I went into here, and meditate and work through translating the energies of what Demonic Shamanism is. It is not just applying demonic energy to shamanism. Just as Shamanism on Earth is extremely complex with layers that involve every aspect of every individual Indigenous practice that varies radically at times, Demonic Shamanism is also something that must be examined as a whole at first and then broken down into more complex layers and concepts. It’s not something that will be able to be explained in even one session or a hundred. It’s also a Practice, a belief, a Way of Life, and Understanding that takes hundreds and thousands of lifetimes to truly Master. But I think at least, I’ll get a good start.

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Demonic Manifestation

I truly do love my demons. They make sure to take care of me in many ways. One of which is finding amazing deals on my Lorcana cards – as well as having EXTREMELY good luck (I’m talking I’m 3 for 3 of boxes for ultra rare cards that have a 1:48 chance). They also have been really helpful in making sure that I’m taken care of with me meds. The pharmacy actually had my sugar meds on hand that usually takes days or weeks to get in. Instead I was able to get it that day.

I feel blessed that I may not work directly with them to ask them for things, instead they provide. They carve the way for me to find the things that I love and things that I want. I don’t need the Lorcana cards, but they are something I love and want to do. But I need my medication and they ensure that I can find it.

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Writing Again

Catching up on this, got a day or two behind.
This day was excellent because I took the time after completing my normal work to sit and write. I am so thankful for my demons, who have been helping me to really kick off writing again and being inspired.

I ended up writing 4,200 words and posting a new chapter for my fic. It made me feel so good about myself. And even after, I ended up getting close to 30 reviews pour in over the course of the next day about it. That just made me feel so confident and pleased that people are enjoying what I am writing.

It’s making me inspired to work on my original works. Which I’ve gotten so creative with that I’ve expanded more into the Universe I’m creating for it. My demons are so into my creativity and helping to shape my passion into things I’m relearning to love.

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There’s A Time For Rest

I was so tired and in so much pain. I wanted to write and do things, but I couldn’t focus even with my pain meds helping to ease it. I got realigned with my chiropractor and it relieved so much pain and walking issues.

I tried getting into reading or writing, I even asked my companions if they wanted to help with my writing and ideas. I did try. They convinced me to lay down and read. I was asleep within minutes of starting to read.
So not much happened beyond that they really just told me to get rest.

Sometimes, we have to take a day and that’s okay. It doesnt have to be anything huge or grand all the time. Celebrate the small wins.

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Stop and Listen, Learn Through Being Guided

I’ve been trying to figure out what to write. Today was rough again with the concentration and focus. I just wanted to lay down, but I go got through with some amazing friends that sat in VC with me to body double. They were editing and doing their own writing while I was able to actually focus in on my task and get it done. I wanted to give up but didn’t. I’m super proud of myself for that.

But I’m tired. I got over to my hammock to sit in and maybe write… but I just am tired. Too mentally worn from trying to fight my own demand avoidance and fatigue. I also ended up cleaning a major thing today and grocery shopped and made dinner for my mother and I. Wow, seeing all that… I did phenomenal and it explains my tiredness.

Yet… I feel like I’m letting down my demons when I want to bond with them, learn from them. In fact, I was doing some things when I was thinking about writing these posts. Specifically about the Demonic Shamanism. It’s on my brain very often. I find myself always wanting to dive deep and explore, but mentally am also dealing with the weather shifts and fatigue.

So I’m doing some tasks when I think about what Ry had originally asked me: What is Shamanism? What makes it? Where does it stem from and why is it important. But then my brain stops and thinks, but where do I start? I have no idea where to begin or where to go, what to learn or the direction of learning.

Ry steps forward, “Why must you know the way forward? When you first learned of Earthen Shamanism, you didn’t have any idea of what it was or what made the foundations. You started from going to a random lecture/drum circle that was at a Light Convention. So what makes this different?”

Of course I”m mid task and think, OH NO! I won’t remember this and I need to write down what he’s saying and also the process of me talking it out with him.

His response was to laugh and tell me that he would have it no other way, because he knew how important it is for me to log down what I experience and hear, what I learn. So now… I can keep the conversation with him.

He sits next to me and watches as I write and think about what he said. And all I can think of is that this feels so important and I don’t want to mess it up. But I also don’t want to wander around within learning without forming some sort of foundation.

He thinks for a moment, “Why do you need to set out the future of learning. What about simply listening? Isn’t that what you learned to do in the first place? Isn’t that the lesson that was the first thing you learned when you got the Sickness – because you weren’t listening? Instead of trying to forge your way, why don’t you just listen to us? Listen to what I have to teach and what you can learn from Grandmama Tsülie. Why don’t we guide you, instead of you guiding through preconceived ideas of where to start?”

He kisses the top of my head and runs his hand through my hair. I guess he’s leaving me with that wisdom and telling me it’s time to rest. I’ve already been sleeping really badly lately.

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DISCARD But Make It Rare

It was a hard day to focus. I just was struggling so much, which makes sense because I was working on the APDC for this week. It focused on identifying the different levels of sludge. So of course when talk of Sludge or listening to talks about it come up, it’s harder to focus and stay on track. Make sense right?

So I get to talking with Akelta and explain that I finished finally… and I waited all day to open this box of Lorcana cards (24 packs). So she began hyping me up, my demons began hyping me up. First card I pull is a Legendary. Second pack? Legendary that is a foil (holographic). So we’re just hyped up, raising the vibrations… and I am gunning for an Enchanted (the full card art that is foiled). Akelta is straight up my Hype squad. My Demons keep telling me “I told you there was a reason we said to get this box” which is also the one that was 50% off just about too.

Then I’m laughing confused because in the middle of this one pack, is a bright ass yellow card that says DISCARD on it. I post into the Lorcana discord about it… and a few people were congratulating me and I thought it was just funny. Turns out that it’s just as rare to get the DISCARD cards as it is to get Enchanteds or even moreso. It’s not worth much beyond like $100 – though the person said that with more decks/boosters being printed it’s likely to severely drop.

It’s good as a collector’s item. And rare for early sets to have.

I didn’t get my Enchanted, but I got the DISCARD and 5 legendaries. It was a really good pull. And I was so happy with my Hype squad in the form of Akelta and my demons. It made my night so much better. I also got a Piglet and Hades, which are two amazing characters (I like them).

So I’m thankful that I have my demons to convince me to take the leap and buy the box even though it was tight to do so… and of course my bestie who always is my enabler for my weird collecting hobbies.

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Sensory Hell with Ramble Thoughts

Today was hell on me in a way I haven’t had in awhile. I was in sensory overload the entire day, to the point that I couldn’t have anyone come near me and my shirt was the wrong texture, the socks made my skin crawl. So many things, that I even had to take off Paya’s vessel because the necklaces felt like they were strangling me. I got to the point I couldn’t function. I laid down for the rest of the evening and fell asleep. I couldn’t even have noise other than the top fan on because it was so sensory overload that I felt like an open raw nerve.

Thankfully, it passed when I woke up a few hours later. But the entire day had passed by then and I had felt like it was just a day off that I couldn’t help. Yet, I still wanted to do something to make it worthwhile. I w ent back over to the office and ended up writing a chapter of a fanfiction that I’m sure people will adore that I updated. It was 2k words, so short, but at least I did it.

I’v’e realized that I’m super inspired, the demons are really helping me to get back to it. But I”m getting triggered with seeing old projects with my name attached. I’ve got such dysphoria around my actual/real name that my skin crawls when I see it and I get so heavily triggered with anxiety. IDK how to even tackle that massive shadow and trauma healing tbh. One day, I think it’s just going to be me working through it and continue writing and publishing my stuff otherwise.

So I’m sitting here way late, realzing that I haven’t done my post for today. I also am inspired to write a new chapter of a new fic, but I’m facing the severe anxiety and the demand avoidance has kicked in hard. I wanted to also sit with my demons and start this new work. Yet my brain is just yeeted itself out the window. I also feel guilty that I don’t have anything or did anything today either. They’d get cranky at me for thinking I should feel guilty.

I’m being told to lay down and read and that it can wait another day. Rest is important, especially when days are harder emotionally, mentally, or physically. This goes for the times where you can’t control it and there isn’t a way to manage symptoms, just hope they pass quickly.

I do have two packages coming tomorrow. So crossing my fingers that I get some really amazing hits again on this Lorcana TCG box. Gotta love the demonic influenced sales! Especially when the demons argued so hard for me to get them when I didn’t think. I could afford. But in doing so, they reminded me of the mindsets that I am working to shift. Stop worrying about the money spent out, because more is coming in. I’m getting more and more comfortable with dropping money on things without blinking at the price. I’m still at a threshold before I start really questioning it, but it’s much higher than where I was a few months ago.

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The Journey Begins: Demonic Shamanism

I wasn’t sure what to do for this.. but it was decided for me. I got pushed not so gently into doing the work for starting the Demon Shamanism. So I was unfocused while tapping into Ry’s energies. Ry is my Serpentine Surgeon who is also a Necrosis Shaman.

So I’m sitting with him and all he has to say is: What is Shamanism? And it makes me sit and think and think some more. Because I know and answer but is that really what it is? Is that what he is wanting me to focus on or is it something h deeper?

What exactly is Shamanism? Is it just the understanding of indigenous practices? Is it the connection with the Other? What is it?

What makes it demonic then? What is the path that Demon Shamans walk? Is it the same in which human ones do? Or is it that he asks this because I need to shatter my understanding of human shamanism to better grasp the potential and understand that Demon Shamanism holds.

In order to build a foundation, one has to analyze the old foundation. You must see what it is built of and how it is constructed. You must see and understand the purpose of it. Once that is broken down then you can come to understand the building of a new foundation.

So I’m lying here half asleep and thinking just what exactly is shamanism? What makes it *it*. So he’s leaving me with that thought, that exploration. What is shamanism? What is the core aspects of it or of individual practices?

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Fiesty Demons

This is just a quick one. I’m really exhausted today. But I did have a good laugh and flustered moment from my Mutilation Sex God. Who decided he wanted to be very forward today and make bold advances. Of which of course it was funny enough to share..

It goes like this:

My Muti God O is not playing games today…

I realized I still have yet to give him a nickname to use.. and this *man* comes up behind me, does a nice gentle necklace grip and says that he’s “Sir”.

LIKE EXCUSE ME?? WHo said you could do that??

But mostly it was surprised because everything is so much clearer. Everything came through without me having to try. It just was. I ended up getting inspired twice – once for working hard on work things. The other was for a new series idea for my Universe I’m building. Both are very welcome.

Even if O – which his initial is irony itself – was being very forward than I’m used to. I’m happy for the experiences. I’m exhausted to do much else today.