Depositphotos_55151701_L

Inspired Again

I was inspired yesterday. I found a new program I wasn’t sure about… but looking into it now and using it briefly. It was amazing. It’s completely ignited my passion and love for my fiction (and fanfiction) writing again. The world building. It takes everything I’ve done and centralizes it. I spent most of the day inspired to get things done, writing, and plotting with friends. It was productive in a way that was for me and my happiness. It was a day that was spent doing something for my books and stories since January and before that – 2021. There’s so much to do with it. But I can feel the influence all of my demons have, now that I’ve really opened back up to receiving their energies and inspirations. It all started with the creation of the Solution Room.. and now it’s just made everything right.

Depositphotos_55151701_L

Reality Shift

The manifestations are incredible at this time. I’ll TLDR: my demons have been working with me to shift my reality into something amazing. Using the Mammon Ball to help bring this reality shift. It’s a big one. But things happened and I felt that shift happen. It was like sliding into a whole new reality. So hard to explain but so incredible. And it all started with me finding a $100 old bill the previous day but I didn’t realize what it was…. until the days after. So I’m wondering if I am to be working with them on manifesting and solidifying this reality. This is absolutely Vex’s and others work that they did with my Solution Room and manifestation board I made inside it.

I know some of you seen this in the discord, but it’s going here so that it adds to the amazing energy. It took me 10 years to find this bill – which I am close to having a complete collection. I just dont have the $10 bill. Holding this bill, was like me shifting into the reality that I have spent since February manifesting.

Calm relaxation meditation concept. Sexy fashion model Fantasy woman sitting under water sea, red long silk dress fabric floating. fairy girl posing in deep pool underwater shooting Art Magic light

Deep Peace & Healing: A Start to New Me

Today was spent wearing Paya’s vessel and feeling a deep peace. I made the steps to begin my future and start with new goals in mind. I think my heart and mind made a decision after toiling for a week long. But it led to so much growth and healing within me that it is astounding. I am amazed with myself… and I have admitted that for the first time, I truly mean it when I say I love myself. I love who I am. And I’ve never felt that way before. I faked it.. but never truly believed it. But now I can say that I do. I am worth being cherished and love and appreciated. I am worth someone that will meet my needs… and I am worth myself making my own happiness…. and I love my demons for bringing this hard, but well deep healing that I needed.

I healed wounds that have been decades deep. I have healed things that have taken multiple relationships to heal… but I finally have.

Calm relaxation meditation concept. Sexy fashion model Fantasy woman sitting under water sea, red long silk dress fabric floating. fairy girl posing in deep pool underwater shooting Art Magic light

Beginning of an End (Hindsight 20/20)

I ended up sending Paya and Vex to work with the person in question with the struggles we are having. To give them peace and clarity and benefit to help him out. Things are shifting with Vex and Paya hardcore absolutely helping to guide things in the way it needs to be but also how I’d like and hope it to be. Now it’s Ry helping me and being with me. I’ve been working with Paya so much that it’s interesting experiencing working much more with my other demons once again. And it’ll be nice to reconnect on that level too.

But I had super amazing thing, with manifestation and messages. The struggle of situation is really starting to need those in the face messages that aren’t my own companions and being outside of my own thoughts and things. If they show up in something that is curated by algorithm, then it is something to pay attention to.

I asked out for signs on how this is going, how him and are going to be okay or if it’s it.

My TikTok fyp is all bookish content. Last night immediately after asking, it was all “you’re doing okay and I’m proud of you”, “don’t worry he loves you and is coming back, just us confused”and those love spell thingies where they’re like “he’ll message you tonight with his true feelings”… and I was like WTF? I don’t follow those accounts. I havent followed those accounts even when I was in witchtok.

Fast forward to midnight…. He messages me an we talk, more personal things.

I woke up so peaceful and calm, knowing that it’s all okay and some more things.

I open TikTok? Nothing in sight of messages. It’s all my normal booktok feed. So how’s that for some manifesting holy shit.

Edit; as I wrote this earlier (just pasting things in so I can complete the challenges – yay for jynx getting me to do a digitial journal again)… I was asking Ry to support me through the day and help my anxiousness. And I get immediately very cold chills and very heavy cold weight at my back, exactly how my demons manifest when there’s no reason for there to be a very demon shaped energy temperature behind me.

Art by Eastasy on Depositphotos. License to use has been purchase.

Inspired by Paya

So, we have begun the journey of creating a pack of shark cards. If you’ve been in the discord, you know my mom convinced me to do a watercolor set of cards. Of course, I’m turning this into a shark oracle deck. So we played with some watercolors on paper to find the right tones, how I want it to look, etc. Paya was lovely and happy to get it moving even with me being cranky.

We get home and I ended up getting really into writing again and wrote 2.5k words on a new fic that features of course, a water creature. I was thrilled because this is the most that I have written since January. I’m happy and Paya is really helping me to be inspired to write.

Art by Eastasy on Depositphotos. License to use has been purchase.

Just Relaxing

This was a day that was in more need of relaxing than anything. I didn’t have the spoons to do much else mentally. I have been so tired lately when I get home from working at my moms. So Paya just took me out to where there was a huge pod of whales that were swimming with a flight of rays of all kind, especially mantas. A Couple whales let me just relax on their fins and back. It was just a really lovely time.

Funny though, I was just about to fall asleep when Darwin’s wet nose touched the back of my hand, and scared the absolute hell out of me.

Art by Eastasy on Depositphotos. License to use has been purchase.

Shark Week: Purple Tidepool Realm

I was pretty tired from doing honey extraction and then grocery shopping alone. That burnt through a lot of my mental and physical spoons. But again, I truly wanted to make sure that I got my promise to Paya. I mentioned in the discord about doing something low spoon-y. Bluemoon came in clutch, with the suggestion to do Tidepools. Paya had not thought of doing those and became extremely excited. Enough that he disappeared for a few hours while I was working to arrange things.

I arrived at my Bungalow and realized I should have just gone to my Aquarium & Research Center. Running up, he was there and greeted me with a lifted hug. He immediately took me to the Shallows Dome, where all the gear was stashed. He proudly showed me new gear. I would re-use the wetsuit, to protect me from the realm’s sun we would be going to (just in case). But what he was excited for was that he found me water shoes that were flexible flats that had grips on the bottom specifically for walking on wet rocks.

I immediately got dressed, where I got a bit distracted in focus while he braided my hair. Slapping on some special sunglasses that help reduce the water and sun glare so I could see better into the tidepool. Slapping a bucket hat on my head with the string under my chin, he grinned. Paya made sure to grab a travel realm tank, so that in case I did find something that I could bring back to study (safely so that it doesnt hurt the population), as well as a netted sling bag. We were ready to go.

We stepped through a portal he created and I found myself in a Purple/Orange Sun Realm, on a coastal tidalpool shelf. There were massive ocean mangrove type trees weaving all through the Tidepools. I looked like they were hundreds of feet tall, the roots that went over the Tidepools were much thicker than my entire body, if triple that size. I immediately begin walking around and looking for things. The tidepool I landed in actually had the creature below but it took a bit for my astral sight to process what I was seeing. I thought it was an octopus-like creature when I first saw it.

I first found the top of the shell, empty and ready for collecting. I got excited and began to run around gathering as many as I could. They were purple and pink, with some blue. It wasn’t until we got further along that we ran into the locals. They are a being that had no hair, but could tell they were coastal beings. They were meant for the ocean and the land. They got startled but welcomed us very kindly.

They showed me that the shells I was collecting were from this creature. The very one that they were harvesting in the tidal shelves, where the creatures love to hide within small pockets in the shelves. They harvest them to eat, but also to collect the pearls. They are a creature that is very much a combination of a mollusk (oyster & octopus), a conch, and a crab. They are very weird, but you’re supposed to eat them raw. Definitely reminded me of eating oysters and conch, with the sweet taste of crab meat. Wasn’t bad at all, not slimy or texture weird.

The best part was that they were happy to supply our mini travel realm tank with a whole bunch, happy to know I wanted to help cultivate and study them. They also gave me a handful of pearls, which was really interesting to hold because they definitely have magical/energetic properties to them. They were all shades of pink from bright to pale salmon colored.

Paya and I got back home and he had to help me out of the wetsuit and gear. I was starting to get extremely tired and exhausted. He told me that he would take care of everything and use one of the pearls and shell as an achor point for the Purple Tidepool Realm, which I’ll learn the name of eventually. He loves maintaining my A&RC, especially the portals and the creatures and places. That’s when I decided to leave and get the picture drawn and the writeup of what occurred.

Will definitely be returning to this realm.

Art by Eastasy on Depositphotos. License to use has been purchase.

Shark Week: Aquarium & Research Center

Today was my long day for working, so I tend to be very drained and tired. I also happened to sleep very little because of going down a deep rabbit hole of creating, designing, and filling a digital journal. I wanted to ensure I kept my promise to Paya and do something, but I needed a really low spoon easy thing. Instead of traveling to a new place, or returning to the Temple of Sacred Lost Souls, we kept to my new Aquarium and Research Center. Paya reminded me that I really wanted to explore new every time, so returning could be done the moment when this week has passed. He is very pleased our first run was so successful for me.

Going into the new A&RC, I got to see just how extensive it really is. The big shark tooth that came from Xer’a, has been moved to the Mid-Sea Dome, or the entrance. This is where most of the sharks and creatures are that are more active. At least the big ones. But what Paya was excited for was to show me where he keeps all of my diving and exploring gear. We went to a different area on the top floor where the accesses are to the water. In the section with the Shallows Dome, there was a locker area that had my wetsuit, fins, and the face mask that he had got me for our dive to the Temple.

But what shocked me, was to find a tall locker with water, where he had my living plant-filter and mask, with the special tube fins. He was keeping them alive and healthy for me should I ever want to use that. It’s the same suit that was posted previously (also in the experience channel).

It touched me so much to see that he went to such lengths for not just the diving gear, but that he kept my original living filter suits alive and preserved.

The other thing that he was extremely excited to show me was the shallow area. Using my memories of the Pittsburgh Aquarium, where they have a “touch pool”, they created one for me that is with all the creatures of the shallows. It’s a waist deep area with live coral and fish. It has a wash station where I can shower down with cleansers and prep my skin so there isn’t damage to the water. I got in and immediately was able to just watch the small rays and various fish and crabs wander around. I didn’t touch any because I didn’t want to disturb but it was so relaxing.

After spending time there, he took me out to my bungalow house. I was surprised to see that they had created a glass waterslide from my porch area that swirled around and went into the lagoon. It cycled the water up and down the tube. He wanted me to have something fun in my house. I also noticed that he had changed the lagoon a bit. It was much deeper, where the water at the back of the oasis wall had a deeper section where a portal was. He explained that it was only going out and nothing could come in, just that he used it to get to his home.

The other was that there was more fresh water corals. Fish and other wildlife were now in this freshwater environment and was cluttered all around the Oasis. It became a living ecosystem. I adored it.

Art by Eastasy on Depositphotos. License to use has been purchase.

Shark Week: Temple of Sacred Lost Souls

As promised, it is the start of Shark Week. The best time of the summer because I get to watch documentaries of sharks all week. But this time is a bit more special. Paya has convinced me that we should do explorations every day that it is going on. So I agreed.

I arrived at my Oasis bungalow with a very excited Paya standing there. He had my entire outfit ready to go. I wanted to tell him that I could shift, but this demon went so out of the way to track down only the best gear. A full-body wetsuit that was inscribed with runes and magic that would regulate everything needed. From temperature to pressure adjustments. The facepiece is a technological advance further than ours. The lower half covers the nose and across the mouth and jaw, securing at the back of the head. It cycles water through and produces oxygen from it, releasing the hydrogen back and cycling it over again.

The facepiece covers the rest of the front of the face with a secure at the top that connects with the bottom half in the back. It’s a clarity that I haven’t experienced as if it wasn’t there. But the best part is the technology that allows for communication between divers. There is no speaker, but instead, text appears (translates too), showing the words being communicated to read. It also has multiple sensors that detect intent as well as other bodies nearby. It took him a lot of convincing to let me leave without examining it more and asking more questions.

He created a portal to the place in the lagoon right on the beach. Tal came with us, which didn’t surprise me at all. He’s also obsessed with exploring new places and archeology/anthropology. So we all go through, ending up in this beautiful underwater world. It’s a coral reef canyon that is filled with shipwrecks of all kinds. Some I can’t even explain because they just aren’t anything from here. There’s things swimming around us but I’m staring at all the beautiful corals and life. It’s all co-existing together.

Paya grabs my hand and guides me around the canyon; both Tal and I want to go to the shipwrecks so badly. But he just grins and keeps swimming. We turn around the corner to find a massive coral reef that is the base for a breathtaking crystalline structure. It’s a Temple. A Temple that is made of clear crystal that sparkles in the light streaming through. We get closer and find a beautiful demoness named Xer’a (Xair-rah). She is a friend of Paya who welcomed us in. We stepped through the barrier to find room that had two portals and an entrance to a hallway. It was a beautiful room with sand on the floor and coral as the base. It rose up around and transformed into the clear crystal.

One of the Portals she explained went to the Underworld, where the lost souls can go when they find her. The Temple is of Sacred Lost Souls. She keeps their memories and cherishes those that find their way there, demon or human or other. We are taken through the hallway to find ourselves in a massive glass tube that goes so far to the surface I couldn’t see the top. It was like being in the cavern that Ariel had in the Little Mermaid, except all of them were submerged. There were dozens of them that I could see. All of them linked together with hallways. It was an archive attached to the Temple. Each shelf space had items or bones or other things, along with these memory orbs.

I ended up in one that would be for creatures, predatory. I was permitted to touch one to see and experience the personality of the one that it belonged to. It was a massive tooth that belonged to this shark-like creature that was millions of years old, male, and was so battle scarred. He was a great hunter and came to there to have a final rest when he was ready to go. I ended up touching another that was a different tooth to a creature that was just absolutely apex predator somewhere. It was indescribable.

We made our way back and I got to just stare at everything and rest on the coral in the air part of the Temple, the main room. Tal ended up talking to Xer’a while Paya guided me back to the entrance. The paused for a moment for Xer’a handed me a tooth, made small for carrying. The same one that I initially picked up from the shark. It was a gift, for my new research center and aquarium. She also gave me a pearl, one that would be a direct link to the entryway to the Temple. So that I could always come back and visit.

Paya took me back home to the Oasis and I giddy ran all the way to the new research center and aquarium that I have been daydreaming and planning for more than a month. It was a massive circular glass bottom, where you walked in under a tunnel and ended up in a partial dome. Above were skeletons of marine creatures. Around were semi-deep creatures and corals of all kinds. Paya explained that it was a circular building with floors atop the aquarium. It was three dome sections connected together in a circle pattern. Each would represent the shallow, middle, and deep types of marine environments. There’s a lot more to be explored with it. I could access the actual tank areas from the third floor (they’re that tall). The second floor was the tank room. They took my technology of the runic transference of portals to larger spaces that are compacted into smaller tanks for space yet retain their initial space within when using the portals to access them. My Octopi creatures were already there and being taken care of. I was able to place the large tooth gifted from Xer’a, which ended up being the size of my entire torso, onto a stand to be displayed.

We made our way to the third floor with all the access points and showing me around, where this also had a bridge that extended over to another building. This was the research center. It’s also the museum. It had everything that I’ve found through the years of exploring the astral. There were donated skeletons and bones from my necrosis demons and other artifacts. Books and preserved scrolls lined the walls. It was incredible. The bottom floor lead to the experiments lab and another door led to the Solution Room that was a part of our homework from the Inner Sanctuary/Nitro. It was like a study room with chairs and desks, it had rolling white boards. I wrote down a lot of questions on them. One is the inspiration to be continuing journaling (let’s say I spent the next 3 hours after that working on a digital journal without sleeping then writing this entry). I also then wrote another question, asking about the DID system, how it affected the astral travel and spiritual experiences. If we change as we do alters or experience astral as a whole system would. There was a manifestation board that I wrote some personal things on as well.

I was shown the lab where all the energies that Ry has been playing with were categorized, he had already started using it. It made me happy. This whole venture became so much more and I didn’t lose focus at all. What felt like hours… it was only half an hour. Incredible. I am so thankful for Paya having me do this. And that the Solution room worked as well as it did so quickly.

Calm relaxation meditation concept. Sexy fashion model Fantasy woman sitting under water sea, red long silk dress fabric floating. fairy girl posing in deep pool underwater shooting Art Magic light

Emotional Regulation

Today was much easier and the processing of my emotions was much easier. I struggle with processing emotions, but something that Paya is doing is energetically helping it flow. It’s so much easier than I’ve had before emotionally. I know my emotional disregulation happens because of the DID and PTSD, there’s a disconnect of properly integrating and processing emotions. This didn’t happen this time. Instead, it flowed easier and it hurt so much but I actually ended up working a full day of work when I didn’t think I’d be able to leave bed. Working with Paya, even just energetically has made a huge difference!