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Fiesty Demons

This is just a quick one. I’m really exhausted today. But I did have a good laugh and flustered moment from my Mutilation Sex God. Who decided he wanted to be very forward today and make bold advances. Of which of course it was funny enough to share..

It goes like this:

My Muti God O is not playing games today…

I realized I still have yet to give him a nickname to use.. and this *man* comes up behind me, does a nice gentle necklace grip and says that he’s “Sir”.

LIKE EXCUSE ME?? WHo said you could do that??

But mostly it was surprised because everything is so much clearer. Everything came through without me having to try. It just was. I ended up getting inspired twice – once for working hard on work things. The other was for a new series idea for my Universe I’m building. Both are very welcome.

Even if O – which his initial is irony itself – was being very forward than I’m used to. I’m happy for the experiences. I’m exhausted to do much else today.

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Exploring Within: Needs vs Wants

I was more present with my demons, Tal and Muti God O – who I realize *still* doesn’t have a nickname despite me knowing his name. These moments were more primal awakening. Really delving into those base and primal desires. Understanding that there are needs and wants that I cannot suppress within. And they made sure that I knew that I shouldn’t have let someone shame me or make me feel like I can’t have those needs met.

I appreciate them. They also helped me to really keep focused and working. It’s made a huge difference.

Calm relaxation meditation concept. Sexy fashion model Fantasy woman sitting under water sea, red long silk dress fabric floating. fairy girl posing in deep pool underwater shooting Art Magic light

An Odd Dream or Two

Today, my partner started his job (morning shift), which means that the late morning was mine to relax. I decided to spend some time with my Mutilation Sex God O and just be in those energies. It’s not often I have intimacy with my demons (RL stress, not because of partner)… After I decided to take a small nap to just reduce my stress and migraine.

I remember laying down and being told to rest, to sleep. I want to say it was Paya who held me while the energies of O were around too. I was fast asleep and deep into dreaming.

I remember this dream pretty clearly and how I felt. I remember the awkward of being in a camp and sharing showers in close quarters but that’s about it. But then it shifted. I was in a truck, smashed between my partner and another. The other was an old friend from childhood, who was my first love. I can recall smoothing my hand down my boyfriend’s arm – which has a very distinct feel… but my childhood friend was really close to me, wrapping his arm around me too.

Eventually it was me sinking down so that both of their arms were pressed against my face and feeling the warmth and love. Said other kept moving in closer and then ended up leaning across me to lean against my boyfriend’s arm to stare up at me,. He kissed the top of my head gently and then just shared space with my BF and I. Where I felt that my BF was a dream recall.. there was this vibrant energy and life to the other. I say other because I recognize that this was a face I knew and was comfortable with – but that it was someone else in my dreams. It had to be a companion. The sheer love and life energy I felt was different from everything else experienced.

But it had me thinking about it and wishing I could have that moment back. It was so comfortable and loved, a very strong feeling that I sometimes miss in my day to day life. Being surrounded and loved and protected. I need to connect more with my demons and see where they bring this.

(also noting that my partner and I have talked about polyamorous relationships and such, so it’s not me dreaming of an old crush – just that was the least alarming face recall.)

View of mountain oasis Chebika, Sahara desert, Tunisia, Africa

Yule Family Time

Now with the first post being done, It came with the question of what to write about next. What is it that I would begin to talk about? And that was something that I started to have anxiety about. Who would I work with next? What would we talk about or would be explored? I sat on this for days deciding what to do.

I really wanted to post more often and wanted to bring back that frequent exploration. The demons are very stoked to be a part of things. I hear them frequently talking or thinking about things to do or to teach me. But that pressure of first things to talk about floats heavy on my mind.

I decided to meditate. King Tal had spent the day with me when it was already a very rough start and middle day thing. So much shadow and darkness threatened my head.

I went right to my astral space. This one is based around an Oasis and desert. It’s extremely comfortable after having it for the past year or two. I curled up on my bed, with King Tal standing at the foot of it. I spoke of this very topic of what to write about. He spoke to me about my journey.

“That is the beauty of the Fool’s Journey. It is limitless to where you are going. You can go anywhere, see anything, do everything. You can do whatever it is that you want. There is no pressure, only that which you put on yourself.”

He sat down on the bed and pulled me up into his lap and held me. It was a very comforting gesture. My three serpentine demons joined me next and it was quiet, but then others began to come in. It was a great show of support but also a time of really seeing them again.

We moved outside where a few of the demons jumped from the sides into the water. Four of the demonesses (my battle ladies) were lounging in some form of swimwear in the hanging net hammock that is over the water – drinking I don’t know what. There was a screech as Taz carried Queenie (my hellcat) from the room but she was not having it. Everyone was relaxed and happy. I was dancing with King Tal on the beach while laughing when they pulled me back up to my bungalow style house. There was a second floor that was not there before.

I went up the spiral stair to find a surprise!

They had made me a meditation room. A relaxation place. One side was like a rock garden but with crystals of different sizes. Even with a rake to make the sand in shapes. On the other side was a highly functional mossy room. It was earthy and like my nook of moss and grass that I love so much. Of course, they explained that Ry set up a system to make sure the grass and moss lived nicely. Even with sunroom over that part. But it was a glass back. One side is open to the view. There was a sliding glass door that led to a long bridge to another smaller bungalow that was high up off the water.

They led me over to this beautiful walk-in closet. It had all my outfits from the events and meditations. There were a bunch of garments and clothes that I’d never seen before and he just smiled. Jewelry was scattered and displayed. It took my breath away. He pulled out a tight cream pants that were like leggings but below the knee. The top was a gorgeous jewel sapphire that was cut off the shoulder and had real sapphire draped as beading across the cropped top. They draped gently over my top and across my bare stomach. Belle came in and sat me down to do a beautiful braid that had pieces of bone and jewels in my hair.

When I stepped outside, there were whistles and I blushed. Belle joined them at the hammock and I was tasked down to the beach where Arvan and even Muti God O were waiting. I grinned as I spotted the snakes and laughed as they wound themselves up my body to say hello. There was some… adjusting from a couple of them as I talked with the snakes and they made some comments about it. I blushed and definitely did not look at them. The snakes moved back when I jumped on Arvarvan in excitement at seeing him.

We moved down the pathway to where my library is, except I stopped. My demons had been working even more. There was a massive greenhouse that stretched quite far. Right next to it was a fancy building and I looked at them in curiosity. They found my very unique method of having creatures* without having the massive space taken up, and created a building on the study of creatures and animals. We moved on to the library but at this point I had begun to fall asleep. When I woke up next, Ry, Arvan, and King Tal were nose deep in my books and told me it was okay to go back to sleep.

It was the perfect way to start working on traveling and exploring again. I felt safe in my astral home.

*many years ago I worked to create these habitats that were a mix of technology, portals, runes, magic, and nature. They are tanks of various sizes that are accessed through a touch portal that takes you inside. It can hold massive land and environments in them depending upon the size. I have a tank of unusual octopi that is a massive deep ocean environment. So they created more off my designs to make a room to help further studies.