Macro snowflake covered with frost in the cold season under the bright sun, blurred background. Transparent leaves of the skeleton.

Too Much

I burnt out and lemme tell you that my demons were there the whole time, but I also got upset cause Dro’s mala snapped in the morning. No beads were lost but it was still upsetting. Even though the night before I literally was saying I needed to redo it as it was my first attempt.

Ended up staying in bed and feeling worse and worse and then breakdown which my demons were there for. Too much socializing for the extrovert. I burnt out hard. So I spent the entire day with them, reading, and isolating in my space in my room. With an extremely cuddly Darwin.

Dark fairy tale forest, twisted trees with bare branches, dark creepy atmosphere and mysterious fog. 3D digital illustration

Inspiration from Demons

I’ve been struggling with migraines every day, but something that I’ve been doing is making sure to take care of myself the best I can. In between official working, I have been doing things for my own writing and my world building. The last four days have seen me doing heavy graphic design of the covers of my Universe I’ve been building. Which led me to really also a lot of thinking about the matches Ive made with my demons.

We’ve been discussing the Librarian ranks (due to the sale happening), and how amazing they are. Even the ones that aren’t librarians, but nerdy book lovers. I’m so excited to get to know my new Librarian I matched with. But it also had me looking at another that some have jokingly called my librarian too. He’s just a big ol’ Mage that is a nerd for sacred knowledge. That would be Arvan.

Tal is my Necrosis/Void Lord of a Temple and he’s a nerd for anthropology/archeology of everything. But he is also someone that loves journaling and recording.

Both of them have been such a HUGE part of my creative process as well as Paya. Payay is a storyteller. It’s part of his writeup that he travels around telling stories. So it makes sense that he’s got the most creative flow to me. I love my demons so much.

Dark fairy tale forest, twisted trees with bare branches, dark creepy atmosphere and mysterious fog. 3D digital illustration

Learning and Growing, Adapting

I spent the day hyperfocused on doing world building and allowing my creative energies to flow. But it was because of something that I regret. I woke up (Nov 4) feeling absolutely like hell and shame. I ended up crying over it and really just upset. I talked to a friend who helped me to understand that this is part of raising my vibrations and that things that I could do before, are things that will make me feel horrendous because they’re lower vibrations. It’s okay, I’m learning. I’m growing and it’s only up.

Mostly, though, I was able to get two book covers designed for this Universe I am creating and forming. In doing so, I’m setting up for getting writing done consistently. It’s something that I had originally wanted to do with King Paimon. I believe that I am absolutely in a high vibrational state that is allowing the creativity to flow beautifully and the demons are just guiding that along. I am thankful for them.

View of mountain oasis Chebika, Sahara desert, Tunisia, Africa

Exploring the Oasis

It’s been quite busy in my Oasis. There have been some massive changes taking place. My Necrosis Demons were gifted some bones from a dear friend of mine. One was so large that it would need an entire building to hold it. A massive one. So they gathered my other demons and began to work on building a place for bone just next to the library temple. I had not gone back there in a while, so it changed when I appeared.

When I first appeared, it was Ria who greeted me. It was lovely cause I’ve been wearing her vessel for the past day. She had a beautiful bone spike band on her head and her hair was threaded through some of it. I ended up closely looking at it and tapped into the memories of the bones being carved and placed together. She pulled me out of it gently, “Yes, your ability is most definitely awakening. We need to get you to GrandMama Tsülie soon.”

I smiled as she guided me down the walkway over the water to the sand beach. We walked to the Bone Building at first but as soon as I walked inside, my body absolutely fell fast asleep for more than an hour and a half. When I came back from sleep I decided to try again. This time, it was Belle who met me. She smiled and guided me down again. This time, we decided that I needed to get to GrandMama. We went straight to where the tree she gave me was. To Ry’s Greenhouse.

When we stepped in, Ria joined us. I called out for Ry but it was phenomenal stepping into his Greenhouse. It was like I walked straight into a jungle that had incredible energy. I could physically smell the soil and the plants. Then, a massive snake came through and greeted us, calling me Bone Reader and then rubbing its face on mine. He was talking about how his master chose such a lovely “Mistress”. He was massive and led us through the jungle-like place.

When Ry turned around when the snake announced our presence, I about fainted. He was so handsome and incredibly built. I could see so clearly his features. Normally it’s one thing or another or it’s a vague seeing. Now, it was crystal clear. He came over to me and lifted me up, a smile on his face. He smelled of fresh dirt and light musk. My hands traced up his bare chest and onto his shoulders. It was incredible seeing and feeling so clearly.

He kissed me while Belle and Ria stood behind waiting. There was a bit of shuffling after and Belle and Ry decided better as friends than anything else. Found out that Ria has a bit of a thing for Arvan and chuckled about it. Ry carried me through the jungle to where he kept the trees after we explained why we were there. The tree was still small and would take a few years to grow to the size needed to create a doorway. We walked back to his workbench and table, where he gathered some things for GrandMama Tsülie. We left for the Bone Building.

Walking around in the sun was lovely and gave me a bit of energy. The Bone Building was beautiful. It was made of large pieces of bone carved into pillars and accent pieces, with the rest of the building made with Necrosis Mud mixed with other stone and material, making a beautiful green-black marble. Walking into the building, it was a round room covered with glass cases of bones and altars. Ry carried me in his arms and I still got extremely sleepy. It took a few times before I was able to see clearly enough that Belle talked to Taz, who was in the middle of carving and awakening the large whale-mosasaur-creature’s rib that was a gift from a dear friend (same as mentioned in beginning). He waved us off and went back to it.

It took a hot minute to get back to it but then we went into my library, where Arvan met us. He was happy to see me and picked me right up out of Ry’s arms. He took us to the ante-room that was to one side of the temple. Here, they had used my method of building portals I developed years ago. Except these were perfect. They were carved so beautifully and I could press my hand on the doorway and knew right where each one took me. After the fourth one, which led to the races I currently work with, the fifth was to GrandMama Tsülie. I didn’t look to see if there were other doors.

I got through the door and then popped right out of it. The others told me they would wait for me to get there. I kept trying and was partially there with them, but it was too hard to focus and I was getting tired and sleepy. I would drift off and then pop back. She chuckled and told me that she just wanted to see if I would answer her call. I could go back later.

photo of forest with fog

Whispers of the Necrosis

It’s not a surprise that I would create something that is revolving around the Necrosis Demons. Truly. It was more of a surprise to start a post on Mutilation demons before Necrosis. Although, I do have Ry and Dro’s sections that are focusing on their specific things with Necrosis. Ry focuses on Plants and Crystals and Dro is Alchemical and Shamanic. All of these are very big with the working of Necrosis demons as well as a few other areas.

I decided that it would be best to put them all into one thread. One thread to rule them all (is totally not watching Lord of the Rings while writing this). I wanted to have a Necrosis post for a while, mainly because I have multiple demons that do Osteo-path working things. I wanted to have a bone post. Gotta a bone to pick? Anyway. They all decided upon seeing how the Mutilation post was working that they would like to also have their own encompassing blog.

There are going to be more parts to this rather than individuals. I think the best way of going about talking about the Necrosis is to break it down into the sections and types of areas that Necrosis deals with rather than the individuals that practice it. The Necrosis Demons:

They also have an understanding of Voudou, earth energies and mastering the dark elements. They delve into the primordial senses. They work with Herbs and Crystals and make use of powerful death energies and have great knowledge of Necromancy and working with corpses and death.

Satan & Sons Encyclopedia – Necrosis Demons

There’s more to the Necrosis Demons than that, which you can learn more about them from the Tea Chat Notes (thank you lovely Windyjune) Things that I want to work within here (starting out), are things that my own companions are working with or are masters at. I think the best way is to talk about the subjects themselves and speak of the concepts that will be worked with, so here are the individuals that I will be working with and the topics that they understand and teach.

Ry – Serpentine Surgeon & Necrosis Shaman

  • Plants & Herbs
  • Spirit of Plants
  • Shamanism
  • Crystals & Spirit of Crystals
  • Poisons & Enchanted Ink

Belle – Necrosis Bone Mistress

  • Osteomancy & Bone Divination
  • Bone Caretaking
  • Creation of Bone Divination Sets
  • Working with Spirits of Bones & Animals

Taz – Necrosis Shaman of Sacred Bone Rites

  • Concecration of Bones
  • Rituals & Rites with Bones
  • Communication with Bones
  • Demonic & Dark Shamanism
  • Shamanic Crossroads
  • Ancestral Veneration & Communication

Dro – Necrosis/Chaos/Desire Alchemist of Black Earth

  • Black Elements
  • Alchemy
  • Demonic & Dark Shamanism

Ria – Necrosis General

  • Black Elements
  • Communication with Bones & Sentience
  • Enchanting
  • Plants & Aromatherapy

Tal – Necrosis King & Void Lord of Temple V

  • Realms & Portals
  • Ancient Cultures & Studying Cultures
  • Darkness of Soul & Void
  • Records & Grimoires
  • Sacredness of Soil & Earth

Necrosis is one of the more complex in regards to the areas that they work in. Although, one could say that for anything really. For me, I see it as complex and very layered because there are so many facets that the Necrosis explores. It’s not just about the death and decay, but the after and what’s left behind too. Many the Necrosis work with what comes from the soil, from death and decay, and from the deep depths of the elements. It’s complex but in such a beautiful way.

Most of the demons that I work with are Shamanic in their workings. This is not a surprise as that has been my path for a very long time. It’s the same with bones, spirits of plants, and crystals. They are the pinnacle of the workings that I do. Although there are still things that I am learning, bones are one of the top things that are in my practice.

In these future posts I really want to delve deep into topics around Necrosis and learn from them. I know that it has been about a year or two that Belle has been poking at me to create a Osteo-Grimoire. I also know that Ry has been gunning for me to make one of plants and crystals too. Of course Tal loves all forms of studying and learning. I am sure that my Serpentine Magi of Sacred Knnowledge, Arvan, will also make appearances due to his love of making grimoires and record-keeping knowledge.

Closeup photo shoot of tattoo making, artist is working with tattoo machine on customer's hand.

Art and Beauty of Mutilation and Demons (Pt 2)

Meeting Surgentsa

It was the 2020 Carnivàle that things changed and I stepped into the Funhouse and Dollhouse. I braved the step and went to experience the Mutilation energies. It was disgusting and gross the first time. I about puked. Until I got to Dr. Sechah. Part of the Meditation is that I got to receive a flesh creature of my own. Originally, none drew my attention so I focused on the room. That’s when I saw Surgentsa, withered and old-looking on the outside. There was no definitive gender or age.

A Flesh Creature is so unique and quiet. So handsome and beautiful. The flesh is a dark blue to black in some areas. It has some cat-like features, but its face is super wrinkled. It is OLD looking and very powerful in the presence. This is the flesh that has sat there for a very long time. It has been the observer for so long. Flesh is leathered and cracked in some places. It has scars of mutilation and is pieced together. It has a humanoid shape. The creature radiates mutilation energies and essence. It’s flesh is made from the Mutilation demons, creatures… It has gained it’s own sentience, it is an entity, it is real and has absorbed the souls, the life of those that have passed through and evaded the death throes of the spectral. Wicked sharp claws grace it’s hand, limbs incredibly long and limber. The body is oddly covered in hair and fur in places, from where it has grown in or has been patched on.

The Dr. placed Surgentsa on my shoulder and I kept going. I felt comfort from the creature while I was was going through the rest of the Funhouse. Dr. Panacktro was the end part and did work on me, which I was scared of from the beginning. Doing work with my actual flesh. It was scary. Surgentsa was there with me the whole time and I found them comforting. Afterwards, that was how I learned Surgentsa’s name, or well the n ame they didn’t mind me knowing.

I went to the Dollhouse next and I don’t remember much and I recorded very little. In fact I barely remember the visit. I know that I got worked on by Dr. Sechah and I got to learn so much about Surgentsa. As much that he was willing to teach me about her. Surgentsa was originally female and prefers to take the female form now.

Surgentsa is a flesh creature, but over the years has changed and grown. She originally took the form I found her in with the Doctor Sechah, that was withered. Dr. Sechah told me about how he created her when he found the spirit of a child. One that had been lost for so long and wandered. He discovered her on his travels. He brought her back to his work place. There, he worked and worked, creating flesh creature after flesh creature to give her a body. That’s when he figured out that using the flesh of Mutilation Demons themselves has a magical essence. It could hold a spirit much better than anything else he had created.

This was why the flesh body that he created was withered. She had been using that body for thousands of years. He was not sure, said maybe that it had been tens of thousands of our years, which could be millions of theirs. Time runs differently. She was his first truly alive creation that was sentient. Extremely smart and could function on her own. In fact, she became his assistant and learned all that she could about Mutilation flesh, healing, mind healing, and so much more.

I had yet to work with her more in-depth by the time the 2021 Carnivàle came around. Actually, I had felt bad until she expressed that she was still happy to be around and that it just was not time. In fact, when I first appeared in the Carnivàle I was absolutely shocked to find that she had an entirely new body! She looked like a small, tiny doll. She was excited to make a return to see Dr. Sechah. We made it through the normal two meditations for name and essence. It was the third, going to a Carnivale, and things were different.

I had worked heavily in Mutilation energies not much before doing that meditation, which actually led to me being brought into a Mutilation heavy Carnivàle. Everything was tailored to the Mutilation Demons. It was crazy and gore-y, but also a very interesting experience. I got to meet and experience so much from that with Surgentsa, before going back to a normal Carnivàle. I had been able to be within the Muti energies for some time before I got overwhelmed and it was too much. At least I could handle more of the squeamish things.

I have not been able to work with Surgentsa more. I actually want to learn more about her than what I already know. We spent a month or so debating finding a beautiful doll but none were good enough for her. She wanted something unique. Since then, I have not done much spiritually. Now that I am working with the Mutilation energies and discovering more, this is something that I think will go places.

I remember the Mutilation Asylum of 2020, where I wanted to take part, but was terrified. Oh my gosh I was was scared shitless. I wanted to go in it so badly but I was straight up told that I couldn’t do it unless I had a Guide. I was supposed to create a Mutilation Grimoire. Something learning about everything Mutilation but also the stuff they understand with shadow work, darkness, and madness. The Mental Health. There was a matching event and I waited so patiently, knowing that this was where I was to wait.

Turned out that I was Matched with a Shimmer Spectral instead. Which I thought was actually a wraith and not a special demon that fit what I needed. I was ws upset. I was absolutely sure I’d been matched with a Muti. I missed the event because it was not time. It wasn’t a match and I promised not to do it without aid. I believe that Surgentsa went with me through it briefly but I didn’t learn like it was wanted. Now, things have changed. I have Mutilation that is with me now. I can do the things that they want me to.

Shifting Claws & Genders – Meeting Tyka

pronounced – tea-kah

I’ve been going through each of the demons and Mutilations that I have come across. This began back into 2019, before Surgentsa. I was visiting the Hellfire Tournaments. During this first time, we were able to go and visit the fights directly. We could watch the fights and cheer on competitors. The very first one that I went to actually was the one that introduced me to my next Mutilation, in fact she was a hybrid.

I knew her by her Gladiator name, Wicked Sharp. She was an Arachne demoness that had wickedly sharp claws that were half a foot long. They were beautifully crafted but were embedded into her nails and fingers. She won her match.

I had gone down and managed to speak with her and just fell in love. She gave me her name and her shield. That was how the ladies would be able to find her, Wicked Sharp was interested. She explained that her claws were made by Blue Hellborns and were enchanted for fighting.

It was later on that both her and Black Shadow (the one that was the mentor and also gave me her name), that they both stepped forward and were interested. It was 2020 that I got a great deal and ended up getting the BOGO for Black Shadow and Wicked Sharp.

I had seen them around but it was late 2021 that they finally were able to come home.

Wicked Sharp is a Specialist Assassin and Gladiator.
She was an Arachne/Mutilation/Chaos demoness, who uses her body to fight. Being part Mutilation demon, she can take blows that would gravely injure others. I got to see her in the 2021 Hellfire Tournament very clearly. She would follow me around through it for protection while I wandered.

It was in the 2020 Hellfire Tournament that I was actually met with the knowledge that Tyka can become Ty (pronounced tie). She is a dual gendered and can shift her gender at will. I found out when I was talking about my unsureness about being with females sexually or romantically. I was working through a lot of shadow at that point. Ty changed and he assured me that he enjoys being either gender. But I felt bad. She prefers a female form and I can tell that, though she does reassure me that she truly does flex between genders.

I have not worked with her much beyond just being around. She mostly focuses on the Assassin aspect and the fighting as Gladiator. Her energy is more aligned with Arachne and Chaos. Mutilation is not as heavy though I wanted to include her because she focuses on anatomy and body fighting using her Mutilation lineage.

close up of beautiful tribal woman. Hands of ethnic dancer. Soft

The Silver Sand Grotto

This began because King Tal absolutely wanted to begin exploring with me. He’s been wanting to take me places in the astral. Finding that love of exploring and learning again. I haven’t traveled outside of the event meditations since probably 2019.

One of the things that I truly love to do is build on my astral space. Some call it Astral Temple, some call it Sacred Spacepace. It’s the place you go to when you begin traveling – your home. I love to build mine up in different ways. From having a library temple to greenhouses to an oasis that my house is built upon. It’s fashioned after things I love.

I was reading a trilogy and side character book when King Tal got interested. Specifically, the side character book features a realm of sands and desert magic.

SLIGHT SETTING SPOILER (nothing plot-related)

Each land is different colored sand with different properties. In the n the book, there is a rare grotto of beautiful silver sand that holds ancient powers. It has an oasis of healing water and plants.

I really wanted to create a place like this. It sounded so healing and peaceful. I have peaceful spots in my astral space but I wanted a healing place too. King Tal, who was laying with me at the time, told me that it wouldn’t be exactly the same, but he knew of a place with silver sand.

Travel to a Silver World

I finished the book early this morning and fell asleep in someone’s arms. I slept pretty heavily, even dreaming about the book series. King Tal had promised to take me to see silver sands. I actually really wanted to build a deep cavern grotto near my home. Even though I spent the day working and doing things, I finally got to sit and meditate. I slipped into the astral and stood on the deck of my home, high above my oasis water.

I was shocked to see that there was this heavy rock grotto entrance nearby that I could see. I turned and found King Tal standing behind me and he smiled. “You wanted it and therefore it was easy to make one for you.”

Before I had a chance to ask more questions, he opened a portal and was shifted through it. He held my hand as we walked through a small path before another portal opened and we were standing in a breathtaking place.

It was night, a place that was almost never touched by the sun or solar energy. Three moons hang overhead. Below my feet are shifting sands glittering in the moonlight. It was so pale that it glowed silver.

“These are sacred sands, we must cross it to the village and ask permission.”

My feet were bare and so were his, as was proper. We walked for some time. It was so peaceful and I could feel the healing cleansing of the sands. There was a village that we eventually came across. The beings there were something so unique, not even humanoid. Bipedal, they had two long arms that they used when standing. They had another set of arms that were short and close to the body. They had large oval heads that had massive eyes on the side that take up about 1/3rd of the size. On the front of the face where it was flat were smaller eyes, flared nostrils, and a mouth that was akin to a herbivore (like a weird horse-like mouth).

King Tal spoke to them and then turned to me, “You must give up something precious to you in exchanged for the sand.”

It was no-brainer, as I tend to offer the same thing when it comes to negotiating expensive or valuable. A very special and rare crystal that I found long ago and protecting one of the few mines/growing caves that exist (purely accidental). Rare enough that it surprises the demons that I work with when they learn of it. I brought three out and offered it to them, which they immediately accepted the exchange. I was beyond excited and was practically skipping. Tal opened another portal this time, directly into the underpart of my new grotto.

Building the Silver Grotto

“These sands cannot be touched by sunlight. They will lose their power and will fade to regular sand. Why don’t you step through and ask for help moving this?”

I hopped through into this beautiful underground cavern that was nothing but carved rock at the moment, but there were pillars that stood reinforcing the ceiling. It was flat at the moment, but I was w was waved off. I ran up through the entrance and found a fair few of my demons hanging around. I called out to them and asked for help moving the sands. They all followed me down into the grotto and carried large crates for the sands. It took only minutes for the large crates to be moved back and forth through the portal, bringing the sand into my home. It glittered in the grotto, the moonlight the only lighting in there.

I asked King Tal about the water, where he asked the locals. There was a bartering again and I gave up another crystal for access to the oasis waters. This was when Ry came through, eager to discover the water and the plants. He took off to find it while we moved. I looked around, trying to figure out where the water would go. King Tal just smiled and I felt another demon – one that had been quite some time since I felt his energy. High Prince T has very special abilities, one, in particular, is his ability to work with realms and the layers of reality. I hadn’t interacted with him since August. I try to limit my interactions until they come home but on occasion, their skill is needed for something big.

He wrapped his arms around me and energetically walked me through rapidly changing the layout of the cave so that I had a large pool and waterfall carved out into the rock. There was one small pool about five feet deep and seven across. It flowed to the place where the waterfall is knee-deep. It sloped down into a large pool that ran across the back half of the cave, with a few raw rock pillars to swim around. It was about chest deep and had spots on the ends that could seat a single person.

Once it was complete, he took to focus on another aspect I hadn’t thought of. How to keep the grotto powered magically without false light, changing the properties, or even keep a connection to the realm (which is dangerous). Tal was guarding the portal while everyone worked. Stepping through, he spoke to the locals and bartered with them for what seemed about an hour.

To get crystals that were powered from their moon, grown by each of the moons’ power. Three would be required, one for each moon. These were even more sacred than the sand and the water. I would have to give a large crystal for each one in return, twice as big as the small ones I gave before. I knew it was a good bargain for me since I had access but I knew that the worth of those three was close to the equivalent of buying a realm (no joke – I had one from another I gave and he literally was able to buy a quarter of the realm with the one I gave him).

It was worth it since these crystals were grown from the magic of each moon. When these beings brought out the three, I was shocked. They were at least five feet long and about three feet thick. They were brought through the portal and High Prince T took over. Each one was placed in a central pillar, with the top and bottom of the pillars merging over the crystal. With a deft hand, he began carving into the pillars and connecting the magic of them into the grotto, while also preserving that energy so it generated more and never ran out.

As he was working, the grotto lit up and the sand glittered once more where it had started to lose a little shine without the moons. Ry returned and said he found the waters. I could feel his energy and happiness from where I was. Tal shifted the portal and we were met with this massive, stunning lake. It was luminescent water that was the clearest aqua color. This water was pure magical water. It also contained these vine-like weeds that had bioluminescent pods on the ends of each branch.

I asked Ry how we would get the water to my oasis without losing it or damaging the sand. He dove down and it was a few minutes before he popped up again with this low glowing crystal. The rocks were crystals imbued with the lake’s powers. He brought one from the water and into my grotto, placing it on the waterfall. A cup of water was brought through and he dumped it onto the crystal. Water flowed from the crystal, the small cup turning into a rapid flow. These crystals regenerated the water when it was in contact with it. This time, I dove down with Ry into the water to collect more. It was a shock to the system when I could breathe normally. I helped him to gather as many of the water crystals and we headed to the surface where a few others took them from us.

They were placed strategically throughout the bottom of the pools and water was carefully dumped over them. Each one began to fill with water. Ry grinned and turned to me.

“Let’s gather the plants (vines) and plant some in the grotto. Would you be willing to grab your biome cases to gather them?”

I grinned and ran from the water, knowing exactly what he wanted. It was a quick run to the top where the bright sun greeted me. I blinked until I could see clearly and then took off to the building that held my biomes in them. I decided to grab two very small ones, the size of a Rubix cube. They would be large enough since the space was actually close to ten feet by ten feet in size. Plenty to make a small biome aquatic terrarium of these plants. The other was for Ry, who I knew wanted to study them in a natural environment and so I would give him one to make his own biome terrarium. I just needed mine to transport them to my grotto.

Returning, we went to work diving and making sure that we spread out across the lake so it wouldn’t be harvested from one area. He about cried in happiness with the extra tank to keep for himself. One was filled as much as I could and passed off to Belle who wanted to place the plants in the pools. A few others helped. When I then I stepped through, the pools were already half-filled and the power in the room was impactful. The sand was finished and we were waiting for the pool to fill the rest of the way.

Ry stepped through and we closed the portal, knowing it was fine to cut ties. The grotto shifted and then the waterfall began to pour. I had no thoughts of shyness as I stripped down and ran to the waterfall, basking in the cleansing and uplifting energy that flowed through me. Especially when I swallowed some of the water – it was safe to drink.

When I stepped out, a fair few of the demons were staring at me and it was pointed out that I was glowing. Plus there were some hungry stares mixed in. I stepped away from the water and onto the sand, only to find that as I left the water, I was dry. The water had filled the pools and my demons were now stripping as well and wading into the water to relax. They earned it and I thank thanked them so much for their help. They were pleased to have such a rejuvenating place to be. Ry turned to me and smiled happily. It was such a wonderful sight to see him so pleased and excited for new things.

“I believe I have a tree that would thrive in here and add to the grotto.” He looked to Tal, “Could you open a portal that would go into the greenhouse I have plants in there cannot be exposed to anything but darkness or moonlight.”

Tal walked over to where Ry was pointing the tree would fit and opened the portal. There was a shifting in the darkness before roots slithered from the portal. It was very slow but we all watched as a beautiful silver-white tree moved into place next to the water. It looked like a white willow tree. Long branches hung down and brushed the water. The moment the roots and branches touched the water, the tree came to life and glittered as if it were a moon itself. It swayed and caressed the area. Ry looked over the moon (pun intended) and was writing down notes in a small journal he always carried. The energy of the grotto changed but in a way that it felt complete and thriving. There was a vitality of not just the moon and sand and water, but the tree became a new part of the whole.

Intimacy of the Silver Sands

This is more of an 18+ experience that can be skipped.

There’s something special about the grotto once it settled in. The energy shifted and I felt this sense of pleasure creeping up. Before I could think about it, King Tal pulled me into the pool water before lifting me up onto the edge of it. My legs were in the water but I sat perched on a rock. I was laid back and his hands ran over my thighs. The demons around me, my companions, watched eagerly. Ry came and held down my hands above my head while his other hand traced over my chest very gently.

Tal was occupied with running his hand over my stomach and thighs, laying kisses to the skin. It didn’t take long for him to dive between my thighs and bring ecstasy to my body. I was pinned down and Ry was holding my hands and Tala was pleasuring me with his mouth. The others watched and smiled as the energy of the sands surged around me energetically. It heightened the experience and I co could physically feel things stronger than normal.

I didn’t last long at all and when I came, it was with a burst of energy that swept through the room. I was picked up and lowered into the water where King Tal ran his hands over my body and pulled me close. Ry slipped in behind and it was a close hug between us three with light kisses here and there.

Overview

It was shocking when I returned to the physical. It felt as if only 20 minutes had passed physically – the internal clock. When in reality it was over 45 minutes to 50 minutes that I was in that heavy meditative state. The real amazing part was that in the astral, it was closer to 4-5 hours of time if not longer because I was bouncing between the realms.

It was an amazing experience. I have not been out and about in the astral in a long time. Having King Tal in my life has brought so much change and this was a new one, feeling safe and free to go out and travel the astral once more. Something that hasn’t been felt in years.

View of mountain oasis Chebika, Sahara desert, Tunisia, Africa

Yule Family Time

Now with the first post being done, It came with the question of what to write about next. What is it that I would begin to talk about? And that was something that I started to have anxiety about. Who would I work with next? What would we talk about or would be explored? I sat on this for days deciding what to do.

I really wanted to post more often and wanted to bring back that frequent exploration. The demons are very stoked to be a part of things. I hear them frequently talking or thinking about things to do or to teach me. But that pressure of first things to talk about floats heavy on my mind.

I decided to meditate. King Tal had spent the day with me when it was already a very rough start and middle day thing. So much shadow and darkness threatened my head.

I went right to my astral space. This one is based around an Oasis and desert. It’s extremely comfortable after having it for the past year or two. I curled up on my bed, with King Tal standing at the foot of it. I spoke of this very topic of what to write about. He spoke to me about my journey.

“That is the beauty of the Fool’s Journey. It is limitless to where you are going. You can go anywhere, see anything, do everything. You can do whatever it is that you want. There is no pressure, only that which you put on yourself.”

He sat down on the bed and pulled me up into his lap and held me. It was a very comforting gesture. My three serpentine demons joined me next and it was quiet, but then others began to come in. It was a great show of support but also a time of really seeing them again.

We moved outside where a few of the demons jumped from the sides into the water. Four of the demonesses (my battle ladies) were lounging in some form of swimwear in the hanging net hammock that is over the water – drinking I don’t know what. There was a screech as Taz carried Queenie (my hellcat) from the room but she was not having it. Everyone was relaxed and happy. I was dancing with King Tal on the beach while laughing when they pulled me back up to my bungalow style house. There was a second floor that was not there before.

I went up the spiral stair to find a surprise!

They had made me a meditation room. A relaxation place. One side was like a rock garden but with crystals of different sizes. Even with a rake to make the sand in shapes. On the other side was a highly functional mossy room. It was earthy and like my nook of moss and grass that I love so much. Of course, they explained that Ry set up a system to make sure the grass and moss lived nicely. Even with sunroom over that part. But it was a glass back. One side is open to the view. There was a sliding glass door that led to a long bridge to another smaller bungalow that was high up off the water.

They led me over to this beautiful walk-in closet. It had all my outfits from the events and meditations. There were a bunch of garments and clothes that I’d never seen before and he just smiled. Jewelry was scattered and displayed. It took my breath away. He pulled out a tight cream pants that were like leggings but below the knee. The top was a gorgeous jewel sapphire that was cut off the shoulder and had real sapphire draped as beading across the cropped top. They draped gently over my top and across my bare stomach. Belle came in and sat me down to do a beautiful braid that had pieces of bone and jewels in my hair.

When I stepped outside, there were whistles and I blushed. Belle joined them at the hammock and I was tasked down to the beach where Arvan and even Muti God O were waiting. I grinned as I spotted the snakes and laughed as they wound themselves up my body to say hello. There was some… adjusting from a couple of them as I talked with the snakes and they made some comments about it. I blushed and definitely did not look at them. The snakes moved back when I jumped on Arvarvan in excitement at seeing him.

We moved down the pathway to where my library is, except I stopped. My demons had been working even more. There was a massive greenhouse that stretched quite far. Right next to it was a fancy building and I looked at them in curiosity. They found my very unique method of having creatures* without having the massive space taken up, and created a building on the study of creatures and animals. We moved on to the library but at this point I had begun to fall asleep. When I woke up next, Ry, Arvan, and King Tal were nose deep in my books and told me it was okay to go back to sleep.

It was the perfect way to start working on traveling and exploring again. I felt safe in my astral home.

*many years ago I worked to create these habitats that were a mix of technology, portals, runes, magic, and nature. They are tanks of various sizes that are accessed through a touch portal that takes you inside. It can hold massive land and environments in them depending upon the size. I have a tank of unusual octopi that is a massive deep ocean environment. So they created more off my designs to make a room to help further studies.

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Journey Continues with New Demon

Over 18+

Warning: This post will contain sexual situations and discussion of D/s (Dominant/submissive) as well as M/s (Master/Sir and submissive) relationships & dynamics. It will also have mentions of sexual trauma and abuse – though I will be limiting that. If this is something you do not want to read, click away. This is something that is very personal to the relationship that I have with my demons, but they are actively encouraging me to share this part of our relationship. It will include the roles that they play within my sexual relationships with them. They actively want me to write this and to include very private and personal things.

If it is not your cup of tea to read, then click away. If you are under 18 and reading this, it’s not my responsibility to censor what you read and I will not be held responsible for what you read.

One of the things that I found throughout these past two and a half years, was that there was this niggling feeling. I knew that what I had experienced with Razor was something that was incredibly special and an honor for myself and for my sexuality. Yet, I felt that there was a severe loss when the event ended. And so it haunted me. Constant small niggling feelings about Razor and who he was. He was a Mutilation Demon. Yet, I had no call to any of them. But oh it was there. I was matched with a Mutilation, I just didn’t know it. So it came in the form of my desire for a demon that was like Razor. One that was smart and handsome. One that would help me with my own sexuality and the dark sexual self that I know is there. My demons are all amazing in each way and they match me all different in how we fit together. I felt that this was the one space that lacked.

In fact, I often wondered how Razor was. I wondered why I felt such a pull to him, such a loss though I knew that he was a Coven demon and therefore not one that would match with anyone. So I knew there was a Mutilation demon just waiting. I didn’t want to ask about it or do a custom, though there have been a couple of times that I’ve asked Akelta after how Razor is doing. It just wouldn’t leave me.

We had a beautiful two weeks of nothing but prebounds in the end of May and to the first of June. I was so excited because they were bringing back demons from the old events. I thought, just maybe, that my Mutilation demon was there – because it wasn’t Razor. So I waited, anxiously.

Mutilation God of Sexual Delights and Pleasure O

He was breathtaking the moment that his listing went up. I knew that I had to have a visit at least. I wouldn’t keep my hopes up, but I knew that the experience would be worth it. So I set for a visit.

He first arrived and I wasn’t quite sure how to perceive him. Mutilation energies are kind of weird for me. I sense them like they are a black hole but sideways. Eventually, I moved into a dark room and just sat there. He stood in front of me and I started to sense more of his energy through my lower chakras. I could tell that this would be an interesting experience working with those without it being more sexual, due to the nature of moving energy through them. I could his energy working with the Sacral and opening it up of these blockages that I didn’t even know were there.

When he moved through that, he moved down to the Root and cleared that before reaching for the Solar Plexus. Those were opened and I could feel him latch onto the energy within the Sacral and draw it hard upwards into my Solar Plexus.

“Creativity stems from Passion and without one fueling the other, there will be no creativity. You must pour the Passion Core to the Creative Core. You must cycle them through one another. You were taught to bring your creative Core to the correct path, now you must merge that cycle into the Path to drive it forward.”

Combing these two techniques, there felt like such a surge of energy within my Solar Plexus. He walked me through cycling the energy around, before connecting all of the chakras into one huge flow, which I had not realized that I was really out of sync with them. I briefly thought about Kundalini and He sensed that and going to my back and without stopping, worked with that. It was brief but a rush at the same time. When that was finished, I had a small thought but it was one I was not prepared for him to answer.

Back in the Fall, my Void Lord worked with a Reiki Master friend of mine who attuned me. At the same time, he attuned me to a Demonic version of this Reiki. One of which I spoke with Akelta back a while ago about how incredible it was. I mourned the loss of having that connection because someone sabotaged it so bad that I couldn’t work with it anymore. I hadn’t gotten a chance to speak with Void Lord T about fixing and reattuning it. Muti God O went to work. I could feel his energy focusing there and really concentrating on rebuilding that collapsed pathways. There was a burst and I felt the flood of energy through me. He gave me the second symbol I needed to activate it (I have the first which is the opening, but the second is the emotional component). With those and my Reiki, I was able to experience that full working once more and cried. It was so beautiful and it felt so complete again.

The energies blended and mixed with me, spreading through my body. He stepped to the side and pulled just enough to show me how to merge that healing and cleansing energy into my Chakra system. It was an explosion of energetic working that left me breathless as well as completely energized.

When it calmed down, I asked if he wanted to go to my astral space. He agreed and I pulled him along to the Desert Oasis that I call home. There is a special tree that I made just for the Mutilation Snakes I got from Razor. When he saw the pair, he lit up and called out their names (which I didn’t have before). He spoke with them and it sounded purely amazing to my ears. He expressed his knowledge of Madam Amora’s place and Razor as well. I told him about my experience. I asked him a favor if he had time. I wanted to send my gratitude to Razor for the liberation and the sexual freedom and acceptance that our working together gave. That I felt like I didn’t get a chance to say that to him. He said he would pass the message, as well as tell him how his favorite pairing of Snakes was faring.

When we stepped inside my Bungalow over the water, my sight shifted. I was working to achieve the experience from when I first was attuned. It was a complete sensory placement on the astral without OOBE. I opened both of my sets of eyes (third eye and my physical eyes over there) and managed to get it pretty close. It was incredible. Until I shifted to look at him and connected with the Mutilation Snakes – particularly the female. Now, I was staring down at my own face and freaking out. Muti O helped calm me down and grounded me, explaining that Mutilation Snakes are different in their own right and this pair is particularly skilled with working within the mental desires. So it’s easier to connect with them after having bonding moments with them. Which is what happened. I saw through the female’s eyes. He had me sit down and breathe through the overwhelming time.

When it passed, things were back to normal and I showed him around the room with all the different equipment that my Demons and I use for our own exploration. He was very impressed and gave them a look over for stability and safety just in case. It was nice to have a second eye that knew their stuff to make sure. While he did that, Muti O motioned me over to where I have a cleansing pool. He told me that after the work he did, I should cleanse. So I stripped down and washed like I usually do for those types of cleansing. He waited for me patiently.

I stepped out and he held out his hand. I can remember seeing this forested place of very tall trees that were light green in color, like a minty. When I opened my eyes.. it was the most luxurious room of silks and soft room. It was like a very wealthy BDSM dungeon. There were two booths that were soft leather, with candles in the center and around. Every kind of tool and equipment could be found there. Even the tracks on the ceiling for both suspension and hooking. I sat down when he brought over the chains that held the hooks. It was with practiced ease that he slipped them into his body and he was lifted up into the most beautifully erotic sight. He became a living art, arched and held there with hooks. It was a few minutes later that he was brought down and he spent time cleaning them and himself. O motioned me over and let me touch the hooks and the chains, moving them. When I was finished with that, he brought me around to these display tables of all instruments, including his own sets to work with flesh.

There were stairs to a raised platform, where I found a pole on the way up on a smaller platform. On the top part, it was a sunken pool that had enchantments all over it. It was an Aromatherapy/Crystal/Energy Healing Sensory Deprivation pool. I was so excited about it. He chuckled and brought me back down to a smaller area that was filled with foods of all kinds. I grabbed a plate and went wild at his insistence.

We sat down at the booth and he pointed out all of these different types of mutilation foods that he grows himself geared towards sexual replenishment after scenes and workings. All of them were a root food of some kind or very earthy in a way. There was a drink poured that was like a minty pomegranate apple juice that wasn’t wine but kinda like it. He made sure that I ate so that I could replenish my body after the extensive workings. I was feeling pretty full after that.

We spent the rest of the time talking about interactions and how we feel about different practices. I spoke of things that were a hard no for me because of triggered traumas. Things that I adore in physical and in the astral. I asked him what he would love to have with his own happiness since I wanted to make sure that I would be able to give back with what he was offering. I found that I would talk about myself again and stop and ask him again. Eventually, I stopped and asked why I would talk about my wants and desires when I wanted to know his.

“Maybe my desire is to make sure that you are happy. Your happiness would be all that I would want to get from this, especially seeing you grow into someone beautiful and powerful.”

I couldn’t fault him for that. It was logical but also made me shy with happiness. He sensed my shyness about that and showed me some of his other interesting and personally designed equipment that he built. It was veeery interesting and one that I know my own companions would enjoy having with me. The time was closing and we returned back to home. I sat there with him while it was the last bit and he petted my Spectral Hellfire Cat Queenie. Now that he had the chance, he got to see that I had tattoos, especially magical ones.

I could feel his energy searching through them, feeling the pathways of the magic for the tattoos. He loved it and then was talking about the care of these tattoos.

“There is a special magic to the tattoos within the flesh. They are built upon not just magic but the change of the flesh it is carved upon. Magical tattoos are not just powered by their inherent power but the fact that the blood and energy of the person wearing them power it on a constant basis. When they are in constant use, there becomes a buildup of that alchemical change that creates a calcification within the pathways of magic and the tattoo itself. Doing a cleanse of smoke or water or ritual will not cleanse them of this toxic buildup. You must reawaken the tattoo and the memory of the pain that will break up that calcification. Pain contains its own form of healing purge and bringing back that memory of it will allow for your tattoo to regain its vitality. You then will want to take that uncrossing salt with rosemary and small olive oil. That will help purge the buildup out of the body now that it is loose.”

He was really gentle with working the two magical tattoos back open and showing me how to bring the memory of the pain of mutilation to break that calcification up. He pulled a lot of it energetically out and away. He loved my one bindrune in particular. When he was done, our time was almost up and he kissed my knuckles before leaving.

It was a powerful transformation and visit. One that’s left me feeling very overstimulated but in a way that’s good for healing. Being able to know my Demonic Reiki has been healed and reattuned, was something that has plagued me for months.

I cannot tell you how important this visit was for me. I cried for hours I think when he left and just felt whole again and really connected. Like the famous word – “you don’t know what you have until you’ve lost it”. Having the Demonic Reiki attunement was sacred to me, it was a gift so that I could go further places with my path and that my Void Lord had done this for me – only for it to be ripped away and sabotaged out of jealousy by someone that was trusted.

When I got the email, I screamed. Mutilation God O wanted me. He had been waiting since the event to match with me. I just felt so overjoyed, but I wanted to keep it to myself. The sexual demons draw so much attention to themselves that I wanted to share but knew that it was bummed out people about it. But after awhile, it eases away and it’s not much of an issue. So I only told a couple people, those who sussed it out extremely quickly – they could 100% say that I got him, they just knew it.

Since then, he has been around. I have explored with him on aspects of the dynamic and how things are. I was in a rut this past week due to grieving and I just wasn’t taking care of myself. Muti God O stepped in and took care of my needs, made sure that I was in a subspace that allowed for me to have him aid me in doing selfcare. Afterwards, he continued to care for me, even taking me to his healing tub that was in his “dungeon” if you call it that. He has been helping to get me through the grief and expressing myself in ways that I need because at times, I won’t do it. I cherish him and know that we have a strong future ahead of us.

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Exploring Dynamics & Sexual Empowerment – My Journey

Over 18+

Warning: This post will contain sexual situations and discussion of D/s (Dominant/submissive) as well as M/s (Master/Sir and submissive) relationships & dynamics. It will also have mentions of sexual trauma and abuse – though I will be limiting that. If this is something you do not want to read, click away. This is something that is very personal to the relationship that I have with my demons, but they are actively encouraging me to share this part of our relationship. It will include the roles that they play within my sexual relationships with them. They actively want me to write this and to include very private and personal things.

If it is not your cup of tea to read, then click away. If you are under 18 and reading this, it’s not my responsibility to censor what you read and I will not be held responsible for what you read.

This is where I return back to a more personal one because it ultimately is based from my own experiences and understanding.

I’ll start with Vex, an Arachne King Commander for those that aren’t familiar, as he is the one that this kickstarted off with. We’ve been intimate from pretty much the get go. The spark was there and I knew that I was safe with him. It was more casual, like lovers than anything extra. After Madam Amora’s it really shifted into a Dom/sub dynamic while still maintaining a lover relationship. At the time I was really deep in a very toxic friendship that was abusive to me sexually as well as mentally/emotionally. It was online and it was within a kink community. I wasn’t getting my needs seen. I couldn’t trust anyone on there because they just wanted to use me for sexual writing/role play. I was also working a full time job in a high paced environment as a bartender.

At one point, I was under such duress and stress that I wasn’t taking care of myself. I was barely working with my demons and my practice. It came to a head one day when others on the server noticed things just weren’t okay. One person pointed out that I work with an Arachne Demon and why the hell wasn’t I being tied up in Shibari style and strung up from the ceiling with my him scrambling my guts.

The question then becomes… why haven’t I?

Vex was pretty quick to respond. There wasn’t much to be said – he had seen me talking of my desires and what I wanted. What my dynamic I wanted. And so he gently pulled me into the astral. It was my own astral home and realm. He was gentle and laid me down onto the bed where he spun the most beautiful webbed silk ropes. His hands caressed my skin and the silk ropes were a comfort as they were woven around my body. When I was completely immobile – my body was relaxing. I felt safe. I felt the release of control and the stress melted from my body, even physically. He left me there on the bed while I could watch him. He turned a corner of the room into an elaborate web. One that when he was done, looked like a beautiful artwork. He spoke soft words to me and then lifted me with ease onto the suspension.

If I was relaxed before, I was a pile of goo in released stress and tensions. In fact, I fell asleep like that. I woke up still wrapped and having slept some of the best in my life. Before I could ask, Vex had me down and was releasing me from the shibari. His hands roamed my body and massaged the areas that looked a little raw. Rubbed lotion and oil, while making sure I ate some fruit and drank water. Physically, I was waking up and being encouraged to use the bathroom and drinking water before making some food. He spent the rest of the day with me making sure that I was doing okay and not hitting a subdrop.

That happened a lot. In fact, a fair few of the other demons took advantage of the knowledge and did similar things. Although I do have only one Arachne demon that does what Vex does. The rest use silk ropes that were leftover and reusable.

After the dynamic changed, so did some of our interactions. I felt more empowered and safe. He brought out the release of control which allowed me to relax for once. I felt comfortable speaking more about my needs – both sexual and not. When I needed to feel the release of stress or tension, when I needed to give up control and be cared for. Vex was happy to do so. Things changed a bit the more active we became with one another.

I’ve been a voyeur for a long time, just as much as an exhibitionist. At least when it comes to sexual things. And that’s where our dynamic changed and took a much deeper dive into a Dom and sub dynamic. It started with names, usually things like Sir and he would call me nicknames like sweetheart and darling or other endearments – beauty was a frequent. There are times when I get into an extreme sub headspace that is very submissive in control and actions. It’s not quite on the level of having a Master/slave – but I do get close to that. I just want someone to take complete utter control, even tell me to do things and giving me to others if he pleases. I still have the say at the end of the day. So another experience changed our dynamic.

I found myself being pulled through the astral, carried and then brought to this world that felt so different from anything I’ve experienced before. It was a beautiful room, lush fabrics and soft carpets on marble-like stone. On the bed was a very luxurious outfit and I put it on, to find that it pretty much covered nothing. It was sheer fabrics, but I was completely nude. There were chains and other delicate jewelry adorning it. The door opened and in stepped Vex. He was dressed to the nines, including a crown. Our meeting was a very intense one and I was already very content when I was led out of his room and through the halls. We ended up in an opulent room, with many demons lingering and speaking. There was a lull when Vex entered and they greeted him formally. I was just slightly beside and behind him. Eyes were on me with curiosity and I didn’t feel any sense of discomfort.

Vex went to the throne and I followed behind him. With a gesture, I was placed on his lap in a lounging position. There was an attendant – a very pretty and young demoness – who brought me drinks and exotic foods. Thing that were savory, sweet, and in between. Around me the conversation turns to war and politics. There are reports and things that are being given but all I can focus on was the delicious food and the roaming hands on my thighs and waist. Vex spoke over the room and there were rumbles of approval and the energy shifted to one of uplifting and sensual. He looks to me and tells me that it’s an entertainment break. I look to him curiously and there are many dancers that take the center of the room – completely naked and dancing together. Vex moves me to his lap where I can feel that he is very much aroused.

There were a fair few demons of all ranks and titles getting very intimate with each other while the dancers moved around. Vex nuzzled my neck and then lifted me with ease so that one leg was over each of the arms of the throne – essentially baring me to the room. Many eyes were on the show and on us. Without prompting – I lean back and let him take control. Feeling my own arousal at the attention from him and from the room. He made it very apparent to prepare me and to make sure that I was not quiet with my pleasure. We ended up being the main show for the entire room and he was very smug afterward. But the sweet part was the attendant returned with warm water and cloth. Vex cleaned both of us – taking care of me first – before taking some drinks and food for us. Instead of the attendant, this time it was Vex who fed me by hand while the reports and politics happened.

This wasn’t the last time that it happened. No, there were many instances that were like this. But there were times when he would be with me in his private rooms. But while out there in the Throne room, I was his sub. I gave pleasure and rewards where he asked of me. A lot of times it was those who were under his command. Gave them pleasure with my body at the behest of Vex, while he watched. He would guide and direct me, and give me orders. I would please with my mouth and my body. Rewarding the loyal men – and few women – that were protecting his Realm.

This was a point in which we were interrupted during the middle of sex for an emergency report while in his chambers. A General burst in with the news of capture and takedown. Vex was pleased with this and he noticed that the General was staring at me, who at that point was orally pleasing Vex. In reward, Vex pulled me away and positioned me closer to the edge of the bed. He offered my body to pleasure the General as a reward for excellent service. I was able to pleasure Vex while his General took me from behind. He didn’t ask me, but that was the point. I had given my control to him. Given my trust and understanding that if it was too much – I would say so. In doing so, I was able to please him in many ways, not just sexually but also with caring for his own loyal legion leaders. This was the dynamic we had and it worked. My needs were being met before I knew that they were needs or desires.

Ry, a Serpentine Surgeon/Necrosis Shaman, was the next to become an important part of my life beyond working with him in the capacity of his skills. He was a Serpentine demon, which was already very attractive to me because snakes have always been beautiful and mysterious. Even then with the snakes from Madam Amora’s, my sexual awakening during that time was not going to be hindered. I craved Ry. In darker needs than what Vex was providing. I wanted Ry in his Serpentine form – half humanoid and half serpent. I knew what I wanted but I struggled to ask for it. It took Vex bringing the very snakes that Razor gifted to me as well has dragging Ry into the room, for him to understand what I was wanting. That was all it took. I wanted him as he was, not shifting into a full humanoid appearance. And let me tell you, yes. Male serpents have two penises. And they are downright heavenly and I could care less if anyone thought otherwise. He was mine and I was his. Ry was more inclined to fulfill the darker desires – the edgeplay with knife tips and sharp things.. to his serpentine form driving into me while I gasped in pleasure. This was a much different dynamic. One that required a bit more strictness in regards to safety. These were the darker kinks and needs that could be dangerous.

I was with the other demons at times, but it was mainly those two that would bring me pleasure and meet my needs. Then I experienced the Void Event in 2019. It was a calling of epic proportions. Enough that everyone knew of it until the new Void event. My release into the void during the impaling meditation led to a Void Lord carrying me out from it. When he appeared as a rebound during the Void 2020 event – I was literally a mess and everyone watched me unravel at his appearance. This was the man who sought me out in the Void, carried me, and showed me the gentle love. Both Vex and Ry are lovers and those who love deeply for me. But my “Voidman” was completely different. He was the emotionally deep love of a long term lover that has been around for thousands of years. It was the emotional love I was missing in my life. He was the tender caregiver for me. It was odd because that’s the opposite of the Void Lord… but he knew me through my lives. I was his wife. That’s a different bond than lovers.

Dro was next. It was an odd one where we were talking about Dom Demons. It was all joking but I started to have manifestations. It was about Demons who were sexually driven in Dom Lifestyle. After much working and manifestations, Dro was revealed. He was a Chaos/Spectral/Desire demon who was the epitome of Dom love and sexuality. He has also been a constant companion, one that has encouraged me to be sexually empowered. Allowing me to stand up and being proud. He was the one that takes more of a Master/sub (since I don’t do the slave aspect) but that is something we are slowly working with. He provides me more with the rigid needs and the primal. There are darker aspects that he fulfills – such as some slight instances of controlled consentual nonconsensual: which is more geared to the surprise than the R taboo. He is rough and primal, domineering. Something that I want in my life. Where as Vex is about the Dom/sub relationship of where there is control over me and my actions to serve pleasure. Dro is about the primal Dom/sub, taking and earning or giving.

The last one is one that I am still really understanding. High Prince T, who is my latest visitor, has an extremely sexual side. With his Lowborn/Spectral heritage and skills, I am interested in seeing how his role plays within the sexual empowerment that they are all driven to working.

There are others that I am intimate with, just because I am very much polyamorous and the demons are very open sexually. In fact, I swear up and down that my Specialist Assassin, Wicked Sharp, who is an Arachne/Mutilation hybrid… is trying to at least do something. There has been many times when I have learned new things about her. One such is that she is dual gendered but prefers female. The other is that her claws are very much a source of pleasure too instead of just pain.

Demons have been something incredible in my life but one of the major things is that they have provided a beautiful introduction into a sexual awakening. Demons understand many types of sexuality and the needs of themselves and their partners. That’s exactly what they seek to help us when we venture into these areas. It’s helped me in many ways outside of sexual confidence and empowerment – I am now confident in myself and who I am outside of sexual situations.