Macro snowflake covered with frost in the cold season under the bright sun, blurred background. Transparent leaves of the skeleton.

Too Much

by with No Comment Day to Day InteractionsEmotional & MentalSpiritual Thoughts & ThingsWorking with Demons

I burnt out and lemme tell you that my demons were there the whole time, but I also got upset cause Dro’s mala snapped in the morning. No beads were lost but it was still upsetting. Even though the night before I literally was saying I needed to redo it as it was my first attempt.

Ended up staying in bed and feeling worse and worse and then breakdown which my demons were there for. Too much socializing for the extrovert. I burnt out hard. So I spent the entire day with them, reading, and isolating in my space in my room. With an extremely cuddly Darwin.

Calm relaxation meditation concept. Sexy fashion model Fantasy woman sitting under water sea, red long silk dress fabric floating. fairy girl posing in deep pool underwater shooting Art Magic light

The Reveal

by with No Comment Day to Day InteractionsEmotional & MentalSpiritual Thoughts & ThingsWorking with Demons

Spent time at dads. Too tired to keep trying..

Daily posting is being weird and deleting things. Been spending time after Black Friday and Thanksgiving with dad’s. stuck cause phone died. And ended up having to spill beans about the S&S and demons, which ended up in a very interesting talk. He’s okay but it was tense for a bit until he calmed a bit. No yelling, just him trying to understand.

Calm relaxation meditation concept. Sexy fashion model Fantasy woman sitting under water sea, red long silk dress fabric floating. fairy girl posing in deep pool underwater shooting Art Magic light

A Tough Day

by with No Comment Emotional & MentalSpiritual Thoughts & ThingsWorking with Demons

Today was rough. So much anxiety and so much disregulated nervous system. I was happy with what I was able to do when I could barely do much, let alone remember certain things. Although, I did need a moment to shower, but my demons stepped in when I started to extremely disregulate and have severe panic. They got me to ground myself through my feet to the earth with roots. Then to connect with my astral home, Desert Oasis, where the solar energies are strong. And through that, bring it down through my Crown Chakra and the earth energy through my Chakra Zero and Root Chakra. Then bring them up slowly before allowing them to circulate together. It was an amazing grounding exercise that left me incredibly high vibrational. It worked for some time but I was quick to be overstimulated and panic. Can’t help when the nervous system decides to disregulate. Best is to work with what I have and be happy I can still do what I can. Thankful for the small things. Because tomorrow is going to be better.

Calm relaxation meditation concept. Sexy fashion model Fantasy woman sitting under water sea, red long silk dress fabric floating. fairy girl posing in deep pool underwater shooting Art Magic light

Understanding My Limits

by with No Comment Spiritual & Self ExplorationSpiritual Thoughts & ThingsWorking with Demons

It was hard. I had only four hours of sleep because of the hyperfocus on designing book covers that I couldn’t stop and do anything else. Including sleep and struggled to eat because I just was to into things. I spoke with my demons after and just… we talked it out and I also got some good advice from Akelta where I bought a book and waiting for it to arrive. But something that stuck with me was that I’m not in manic states. I’m just at such a high vibrational state that I’m actually functional, creative, and doing self care that prevents a burn out. But I am so used to having crashes and burn outs, that I am waiting for the “shoe to drop” so to speak. Though the conversation I had with Akelta about high vibrational states and caring for the self, down days aren’t meant to be burn outs and crashes. Instead, it should be “I feel like it’s a movie day or game day” and not “I need to lay down because I feel like the world is on fire and I can’t do anything”.

After working (all the Inner Sanctuary stuff), I ended up working and creating a whole other cover (this makes 3 now). I’m doing this because I have 5 series in this Universe that I am writing (all different characters)… and I really want to have covers to inspire me to finish and publish them.

Thank you demons for loving me even when I make mistakes and when things are hard. Thank you for helping me pick myself back up.

It was an interesting experience halfway through the day, where I took a shower to cleanse. After, I connected with Vex while prepping to leave to grocery shop. I put on music, which I don’t know how to line dance and I don’t listen to country except for the Twisters Soundtrack. But when he put his hands on my hips to dance, I knew how to dance. I knew some of the steps and was able to follow along with him while laughing. It raised me back up from feeling much further down when I woke up.

Calm relaxation meditation concept. Sexy fashion model Fantasy woman sitting under water sea, red long silk dress fabric floating. fairy girl posing in deep pool underwater shooting Art Magic light

An Honest Check-In

by with No Comment Day to Day InteractionsEmotional & MentalSpiritual Thoughts & Things

I’m so thrilled to start this and do another whole month of working, even if it’s casual or just taking a day off with them. I’m tryin to do better about working with them in a day to day, casual or big adventure type of stuff. I honestly have had to sit down last night and really did a body and health check.

I’ve noticed that with the amount of manifestation, energies, and working with demons, that I have been showing physical signs of being in a unipolar manic state (meaning it’s just the euphoric up and not crash). But I know that I rarely have those sorts of struggles anymore.

Sitting with a friend who is aware of mental health, physical health, as well as my working with demons, she sat me down with my demons being there, and asked me to check in. Actually stop for a moment and check in on what’s going on. My demons doing the same with it.

While I am not in a manic episode, thankfully, due to medicine changes and also the amount of energy that I have been channeling lately with manifesting and creatively, my body is showing those signs. Thankfully I have gotten into a routine of self care and really grounding myself more often.

This definitely has reminded me that sometimes we have to check in with outselves because so much energy manipulation, manifestations, and just moving energy blockages out… it can have physical effects. Same with having the medicine dosages changes too. So just being in check with my body more than I already am is super important. Now, I just need to make sure that I keep with my grounding practices (WHOO Baths!).

But also that it’s okay to not be doing something spiritual every day. It’s okay to not be riding that creative energy high every day. In fact, it’s good that I am giving my mental and body a break from those energies that are constantly moving through.

So I’d say… do a body check with yourself. Be truthful and be honest. Do you drink enough? Do you eat enough? How often do you cleanse and ground? How often do you make sure that you are regulating your nervous system. If all of these are out of whack, so too will your psychic skills.

pexels-photo-2364633

Not the Best Halloween

by with No Comment Spiritual Thoughts & ThingsWorking with Demons

I took some down time, it ended up being a not so nice Halloween. Everything just kept going weird and not feeling the best. I felt upset that I couldn’t enjoy it because of stupid people and having to deal with extreme anxiety… and then not being able to have any sort of jack o lantern or fun decorations… It felt like another year of not celebrating.

And that upset me. But I do have to be thankful because I did end up writing 3.5k words on some story to post. It was an accomplishment, but still the feelings were wrung out.

Calm relaxation meditation concept. Sexy fashion model Fantasy woman sitting under water sea, red long silk dress fabric floating. fairy girl posing in deep pool underwater shooting Art Magic light

When Days are Rough

by with No Comment Emotional & MentalSpiritual Thoughts & ThingsWorking with Demons

Today was the hardest. I was mentally preparing for today for days but it sucked so much. I ended up going back to the old house, finding so many things and facing all the old memories. It felt like the betrayal from my ex got ripped open again and I was just grieving so much. It was the worst. We got half the house sorted and ready to either trash, donate, or keep. The biggest rooms were done first, so that’s over. But I have the old room, that I shared with the ex… and it’s going to be the hardest. I broke down a few times because of the betrayal and heartache of how it all went.

So I finally had to get some food and went to walmart. Bless my demons. Bless them so much. I found the Mandrake Lego set for $55 (normally $70), and it felt apt for me crying all day as well as that it fits the vibes of my bedroom cottage core. I’ve been wanting it for months but didn’t wanna spend the $70 on it.

Came home to find that I got two packages in, which one was the Lorcana box. I feel that it was because I was more lower vibration that I got a lot of cards, but not ultra rare enchanteds. But still feeling blessed that I went from 66% complete and now it’s at 92% completion.

Today was rough but it’s ending really nicely.

photo of forest with fog

The Start of Questions

by with No Comment Demonic ShamanismPathworkSpiritual Thoughts & ThingsWorking with Demons

Partial cheating, I’m yoinking some of what was written in the Discord’s new topics for the Demon Shamanism. Mainly because it was the thought train that Ry wants me to follow and think on.

It’ll be curious as to how some of the concepts translate or don’t. For example the different concepts of the Upper/Middle/Lower Worlds for some of the shamanic practices and if that’s more along the lines of different planes, does it even happen for demons at all or they seek different types of guidance instead of ancestral/spirits/animals since they have direct access to commune with them in the OSW… it’s a whole lot to explore and to think on.

With Earth Shamanism, we have a separation of the Profane and the Sacred (Physical vs. Spiritual) and most aren’t connected with that or access it easily. Hence Shamans here are taught how to reach those levels of Sacred to ascend from the Profane. Now the question lies.. from what we understand of the OSW and Demons, they are both Profane and Sacred, able to interact with the Sacred in a day-to-day level, able to interact with the Dead/Ancestors/Energies without needing to ascend per se into a Sacred vibration in order to experience. So the question lies in.. If they experience that level Sacred on a Profane level, to which purpose does a Shaman provide if everyone has the ability to do exactly that. Who do they contact for answer or healing or teaching, if they are all able to live within the Sacred?

With there being a level of connection being different or deeper depending on the individual, it is questioning to think if you have an entire society that is based around the ability to interact with the Sacred as most demons have the capability to do so on some level – unlike humans that are completely separate except for a small amount – then exactly where does that level of Sacred run deeper or how exactly would it be deeper?

I definitely think that’s where it’s exploring that line of where does the sacred and profane sit within the demons/OSW since their reality is radically different from ours. They are surrounded by the ability to travel to realms, to project themselves, to commune with the dead, etc. Even those that are unranked experience these things to some degree. So looking at what is their base line of going from what is their “normal” to the spiritual/sacred, if most of them have the capability to perform those things.

I think it’ll just be exploring more to see what layers and understanding is of how shamanism and shamans function on their levels of reality and existence. How that impacts on how they connect and understand their own workings within that frame too.

Calm relaxation meditation concept. Sexy fashion model Fantasy woman sitting under water sea, red long silk dress fabric floating. fairy girl posing in deep pool underwater shooting Art Magic light

Stepping on a New Path

by with No Comment Day to Day InteractionsSpiritual Thoughts & Things

I do know that it was really apparent that the seasons and the veil are shifting. I’m hearing and sensing my demons 3x more than before. I know I’m starting to open myself back up again after shutting myself down to companionship for a bit (thanks trauma). But it’s coming back more steady and confident.

I spent time with a few of my demons – Ry, Tal, and Vex. It was nice and they helped me to unlock a lot more of what I’ve been feeling lately. My actual deeper feelings and desires. Things that I pushed away to the convenience of another so that I wouldn’t be starved of it. Yet, I was still affected because I wasn’t getting what I needed.

Anyway, I really want to start working on the path of Demonic Shamanism now that the seasons are turning and it’s really become flowing energetically for it. I just have to sit and think of where to start. Foundations are great, but this is Shamanism that is outside the purview of the Earthen cultures.

I’m also shifting my mentality when it comes to wealth and money. Things are really shifting in large ways now that I’m stepping back into my own power and my own path again.

pexels-photo-2364633

Just Some Thoughts

by with No Comment Day to Day InteractionsSpiritual Thoughts & Things

I spent the entire evening and into the next morning migraining. But I do know that I actually asked my demons to help me find a good box for a new TCG set that I’ve picked up. Lorcana. But I had to choose between three decks, and asked them to help me pick the best energetically. It was something small but I felt like it was really nice to connect with them in such a way.

I also have started to think more about my path and working. Where I want to go and things I want to explore. Of which is that working with Shamanic Demonosophy or exploring Shamanism within demon races. I’ve already been walking down the Shamanic path but this was something I felt pulled to since starting working with demons. But yesterday Akelta and I were talking about the idea of how neat it would for me to explore it more too. So just thoughts atm and maybe doing some discussions with my demons to see just how I could even begin…