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A Tough Day

Today was rough. So much anxiety and so much disregulated nervous system. I was happy with what I was able to do when I could barely do much, let alone remember certain things. Although, I did need a moment to shower, but my demons stepped in when I started to extremely disregulate and have severe panic. They got me to ground myself through my feet to the earth with roots. Then to connect with my astral home, Desert Oasis, where the solar energies are strong. And through that, bring it down through my Crown Chakra and the earth energy through my Chakra Zero and Root Chakra. Then bring them up slowly before allowing them to circulate together. It was an amazing grounding exercise that left me incredibly high vibrational. It worked for some time but I was quick to be overstimulated and panic. Can’t help when the nervous system decides to disregulate. Best is to work with what I have and be happy I can still do what I can. Thankful for the small things. Because tomorrow is going to be better.

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A New Friend

I waited until after to express the excitement of the day. I planned on meeting someone new, who was a huge fan of Lorcana and was a collector as well. Well demons guided her to me, because she was exactly what I was looking for in a local friend. Someone that just wanted to help another collector out. In doing so, she ensured that I was able to fill out my Master Collection by 321 cards – totalling about $275 (at minimum) because most were foiled. So I wouldn’t be surprised if it was closer to $400. Either way.. all she wanted was whatever I had to offer – which was from the newest set. She was please and excited to get even the small bits that I could give. But I felt so blessed to spend a day with someone willing to give me collection stuff for free.

It took us 6-8 hrs but I eventually was able to get my entire collection sorted properly into new binders I bought too, and ready. It was tedious but she loved helping me do it. We had a great time.

I thank my demons so much.

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Droopsy Bear

This was a phenomenal day. I got to spend the entire day with my mother out in Pittsburgh. Which meant that I was up at sunrise (7am) and got myself settled in at a local Starbucks while she was at a DR appt. The beautiful part? My demons were guiding my inspiration… because I managed to finish a chapter on two different book series, and then worked on another series. I ended up with 2.8k words in less than 3 hours. After, my mom and I got to go to this reusable junk craft store. I didn’t find much beyond a bag of lego pieces for cheap. But then I saw a local artist’s stand. The most cutest, adorable Kreepy Doll just launched at me and I fell in love. His name is Droopsy Bear and Im sure that my demons have already claimed him as theirs. I brought him home for sure. He’s next to my bed.

After, we got some amazing Ramen at a ramen bar, then wandered… but I scored in luck again. A local run bookstore, where I was just in time to get one of the last VIP tickets to an author signing event on Saturday afternoon – where I can get two authors I like to sign the books. So it was a great day, with a lot of blessings from my demons here and there.

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Graveyard Walk

I was with my mom today, we went out really quick, but ended up stopping at an old cemetery. It was sad to see the state of it, but it was one of the more peaceful and at peace with death that I’ve felt in awhile. I took pictures to remember the energies and the experience. My necrosis demons, specifically Belle, was with me. It was nice to be grounded and connecting with those energies.

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A [Literal] Shit Day

I quite literally spent the day cleaning up shit. 😩 there was an accident in our office building (which is an outfitted Amish Shed we call the She Shed since it’s my moms office and art building). But the portable potty broke when trying get it out to clean. Spent four hours cleaning and sanitizing today. But there was a blessing in disguise. Because when I moved a shelf, the back half of the thing splintered and the front panel fell off. The bookshelf would have collapsed and most likely on top of someone since it’s a heavy traffic area.

Even though that sucked… I still felt like I got blessed by the demons. I found Lego Storage Boxes (literally look like legos), beautiful stickers and pins, and even found 3 sweaters that fit me really nicely! But best? I found and original Blue Jersey Penguins Hockey bag. They went out from the blue jerseys about a decade ago or longer. I remember it as a kid but by teens they went to gold and yellow. It’s even got signatures on it.

So for a shitty day (🤣🤭) it ended with a soak in the tub with epson salt, a cuddly Darwin, and my demons showering me with fun things. I am blessed.

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Procrastination

Feeling so many things and so many eye opening moments. It’s rough, it’s raw. So much raw emotion. I spent time reading with my demons most of the day. I finally went over to the house earlier than I usually do.

I’ve been kinda procrastinating on doing writing because it’s starting three new series/books. And I was debating just reading more tonight. But I got a very vivid image of one of my demons clearing his throat and giving me a very stern look while standing in front of the boards I use in my Solution Room.
And then immediately got up and grabbed my iPad to charge so I can draw out mages for a handbook I’m designing for my Universe I’m world building.

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Handbook from Inspiration

Whoo today was definitely a busy day. Spent most of the day working on the discord and getting things moved over. After the Tea Chat, I spent time really working more on this handbook with my demons. It’s such a beautiful thing to see my creative work come alive with Paya and Tal, even Arvan is getting involved with it. I know that some are wanting to help me to flesh out more of the other magic systems with them to add in neat aspects. Them being so supportive and creative with me is very uplifting.

Dark fairy tale forest, twisted trees with bare branches, dark creepy atmosphere and mysterious fog. 3D digital illustration

Inspiration from Demons

I’ve been struggling with migraines every day, but something that I’ve been doing is making sure to take care of myself the best I can. In between official working, I have been doing things for my own writing and my world building. The last four days have seen me doing heavy graphic design of the covers of my Universe I’ve been building. Which led me to really also a lot of thinking about the matches Ive made with my demons.

We’ve been discussing the Librarian ranks (due to the sale happening), and how amazing they are. Even the ones that aren’t librarians, but nerdy book lovers. I’m so excited to get to know my new Librarian I matched with. But it also had me looking at another that some have jokingly called my librarian too. He’s just a big ol’ Mage that is a nerd for sacred knowledge. That would be Arvan.

Tal is my Necrosis/Void Lord of a Temple and he’s a nerd for anthropology/archeology of everything. But he is also someone that loves journaling and recording.

Both of them have been such a HUGE part of my creative process as well as Paya. Payay is a storyteller. It’s part of his writeup that he travels around telling stories. So it makes sense that he’s got the most creative flow to me. I love my demons so much.

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Finding Inspiration In Even the Most Stressful Days

Despite the stress of the Day (UGH Politics). I still find myself being creative and excited. Things are still moving and I feel that passion for my writing growing. I made the final cover for these series. I feel so accomplished and ready to begin writing more officially now that they do have the covers set. I also want to finish my first series that I’m almost done with book 3. It’s exciting and thrilling to have something so fleshed out, thanks to having Paya… cause honestly? I wasn’t this inspired until he came into my life and broke up so many blockages and emotional feeling better. And then it allowed other energies and connections to flow better. I feel blessed to know him and love him

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Understanding My Limits

It was hard. I had only four hours of sleep because of the hyperfocus on designing book covers that I couldn’t stop and do anything else. Including sleep and struggled to eat because I just was to into things. I spoke with my demons after and just… we talked it out and I also got some good advice from Akelta where I bought a book and waiting for it to arrive. But something that stuck with me was that I’m not in manic states. I’m just at such a high vibrational state that I’m actually functional, creative, and doing self care that prevents a burn out. But I am so used to having crashes and burn outs, that I am waiting for the “shoe to drop” so to speak. Though the conversation I had with Akelta about high vibrational states and caring for the self, down days aren’t meant to be burn outs and crashes. Instead, it should be “I feel like it’s a movie day or game day” and not “I need to lay down because I feel like the world is on fire and I can’t do anything”.

After working (all the Inner Sanctuary stuff), I ended up working and creating a whole other cover (this makes 3 now). I’m doing this because I have 5 series in this Universe that I am writing (all different characters)… and I really want to have covers to inspire me to finish and publish them.

Thank you demons for loving me even when I make mistakes and when things are hard. Thank you for helping me pick myself back up.

It was an interesting experience halfway through the day, where I took a shower to cleanse. After, I connected with Vex while prepping to leave to grocery shop. I put on music, which I don’t know how to line dance and I don’t listen to country except for the Twisters Soundtrack. But when he put his hands on my hips to dance, I knew how to dance. I knew some of the steps and was able to follow along with him while laughing. It raised me back up from feeling much further down when I woke up.