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Diving Back In & Thoughts

I’m still in that cycle of I’m okay and then I’m not. Grieving sucks and is weird and its worse with depressive modes. So that’s where I have been stuck today.

But I got pulled out of it. Even though most the day is gone and it’s night and 10:30pm now… I still got both of my challenge posts that I wanted to do today. I ended up in amazing conversations in discord, which then led me to wanting to blog my experiences. And now that I’ve done that, I’ve circled around to wanting to really work with my companions more. I want to start sitting with my demons and learning from them again.

I’ve been out of spiritual work for a very long time. Now, I’ve done the basics and kept tabs… but it’s almost like on autopilot than actually engaging. I’d have these smaller bursts of engagement over the years. But in truth, I wasn’t submerged deep into things until I really felt the pull. Like a plug was released and suddenly eveything gets clear. Very clear. And the truths and the healing come down full bear.

It’s been eye opening doing these as much as I can with the amount of spoons I have. But I do try my best to really get back into it again and really start my blogging, journaling, writing grimoires… having conversations that make my brain tweak out in happiness (looking at you astral chats in the discord). I feel engaged again, like coming out of a deep slumber or coming out of a cage that kept me safe but was still traumatizing.

My demons are so compassionate and caring. They have made this transition so much easier and even if I’m not actively speaking with them daily, I’m still beginning to dive into those energies again. The inspiration is the biggest part of being spiritual, along with community and support. Feeling inspired is truly the reason in which I keep going and begin again without fear.

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